Chapter 12: The Final 2006-ening

Previously on 'Sonic 2006: Dude, Where's His World?'

"NINETIES POWER!" Knuckles screamed.

And now, the stunning conclusion.

With Eggman defeated and Elise rescued, Sonic had felt his day was quite productive. After a victory dance, which lasted for twelve minutes (and restarted every time Elise asked Sonic to stop), the hedgehog and princess began to make the trip back to Soleanna.

Sonic and Elise were walking through the forest, past the old gameshow set, when none other than Mephiles arrived, behind them.

"Long time no see…" Mephiles then looked down at the purple Chaos Emerald. "Go, my child."

The emerald levitated and flew over in front of Sonic and Elise. It began to flash brightly.

"Ooooh…" Elise was fascinated.

"That emerald's carrying my interest!" Sonic stated with all the majesty of seeing a tornado carrying a car. A thought occurred to him. "Wait, isn't this the part where I get-"

"Oh yes!"

Mephiles shot an energy beam, piercing Sonic's heart.

Elise gasped. "Casanova, no!"

"Ow!"

Rings scattered everywhere. Sonic picked one up off the ground. "Phew. That could've been bad."

Mephiles stood there in shock. Quickly regaining his composure, he shot Sonic again.

"Now, what were we talking abou- Ow!"

Sonic dropped the last ring, but quickly picked it up again. Mephiles growled and attacked Sonic once more.

"Ow!" Sonic dropped the ring, but picked it up once more.

"Why won't you die?" demanded Mephiles. Sonic gave him a smirk.

"Rings, son. They scatter in response to physical trauma. You can't hurt me… uh… whoever you are."

Mephiles' eyes glowed, and he telekinetically ripped the ring from Sonic's grasp. He then blasted at Sonic one last time.

"Ow! Or… maybe… you can…" Sonic fell over. His life began to flash before his eyes.

"SEEEGA." "Get a load of this." "STRAAANGE, ISN'T IT?" "Teriaaaa." "C'mon ya big drip… where ya goin'?" "I'm the coolest." "That's NO good." "We'll show that creep the real super power of teamwork!" "IT'S NO USE! Taaake this!" "We're Sonic Heroes!" "Enjoy your future, it's gonna be great!"

Sonic had been killed.

Elise looked at Mephiles with exasperation. "Uh, rude!"

Mephiles could only laugh. "Hehehehahah. Uhahahahaha! Ehahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Elise sniffled. "You know," she began, furiously, "I've put up with a lot of crap! A lot! But that's it! I'm done! I'm just done! … WAAAAAAAH-"

A fireball forcibly clawed its way out of Elise's mind and formed in the air above her. It had Mephiles' full attention.

"Finally! After ten years of waiting, and… honestly just kind of mucking around until I had any ideas- I can finally rejoin with you! IBLIS!"

The purple Chaos Emerald returned to Mephiles.

"Now, we can become as one and reclaim our original identity!"

Shadow, Omega, and Rouge were still in the basement of the Billiards Temple after their battle with Mephiles. All of the Mephiles clones have been reduced to one collective ink puddle on the ground.

"Well… That went well." Shadow summarized. He promptly put his Inhibitor Rings back on, while Rouge made an observation.

"Oh hey, he left behind the Chaos Emeralds. Or at least two of them."

The emeralds started flashing violently and then disappeared.

"Or not."

In the skies above Soleanna, Mephiles summoned the rest of the Chaos Emeralds, and began to harness their energy to merge with the purified Iblis.

"Wait… Why didn't I just summon all of them to me before I freed Iblis?" Mephiles asked no one in particular. He shrugged. "Oh well." Then he went back to merging. "The power… The power is returning to me!"

Mephiles began to glow, and was consumed by the fires.

"Oh yes!"

In the town below, all of the citizens were cheering, with the exception of Tails, Knuckles, and Amy.

"Do these people think this is a lightshow or something?" asked Amy. Knuckles looked over.

"Amy? How long have you been here?" the echidna inquired. He then looked over to Tails. "Wait… how did we get here from the lab again?"

Tails shrugged, just in time for a blinding flash to overtake the town.

NOW LOADING… THE APOCALYPSE

The next thing Tails, Knuckles and Amy knew, they were in a strange, purple void. Bits and pieces of Soleanna were scattered around the ground and air, serving as the only landmarks.

The only contrast to this darkness was a white, glowing orb of energy- a false sun- high above the wreckage.

"Uh…" Knuckles decided to break the ice. "Did we die?"

Silver the Hedgehog walked up to the group. "Where am I?" He gasped. "Amy!"

"Silver?"

"We didn't die…" a familiar, deep voice spoke. Everyone turned to see that it came from Shadow, with Team Dark standing behind him. "In fact, I think we might be the only ones who didn't."

Eggman walked up to the group, waving with a cheery smile on his face. "I'm here too! Hey gang!"

Everyone else mumbled noncommittally. Eggman appeared not to notice.

Omega was the first to notice the giant sun overhead. "The power-readings on that star are enormous. They go further than any being I have encountered. Yet its signature closely resembles that of Mephiles. That ink stain just won't die."

Eggman sighed. "You know, he kind of reminds me of you. How both of you just kinda betrayed me. Now that I think about it, Shadow and Rouge betrayed me too and- Hey is Sonic asleep? Sheesh, leave it to Sonic to sleep through the apocalypse!"

Eggman pointed and everyone finally noticed Elise cradling Sonic's body. She was still crying. Everyone walked over to see, though Shadow, Omega, and Eggman hung back. From where he stood, Shadow spoke to the princess. "Is… he asleep?"

Elise shook her head. A violin version of His World started playing.

"Sonic no!" Amy shrieked. She tried to come closer to Sonic, but Tails pushed her out of the way and did it himself.

"SONIC! WHYYYYY-"

"Yo home skillet! Home skillet! Wake up, man, this ain't cool!"

"Phew." Silver wiped his brow. "Glad I didn't do it." He then noticed awkward stares from Tails and Knuckles. "Err… I'm sorry for your loss."

Rouge shook her head and sighed. "Wow… I… I never thought he'd go like this."

"Oh so that one was Sonic. Can we kill Mephiles now?"

Shadow crossed his arms. "Sonic… I can't believe- Okay where is that music coming from?!"

Shadow looked over and saw that it was Eggman playing the violin. "What? I'm setting the mood! Show a little respect, Shadow, our rival is dead before his time!"

Shadow tilted his head. "You actually care?"

"Of course I do! Fighting Sonic was all I had in my life! Now what is there? Besides, I didn't even get to do the honors!"

Shadow rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He closed his eyes and clenched his fist. "I have a feeling I know who we can thank for this. I shouldn't have let Mephiles get away…"

Eggman resumed playing the violin, but started talking. "It would appear Mephiles pulled the wool over our eyes and made the princess cry in despair, unleashing the Flames of Disaster. How classless of him."

Shadow's eyes opened wide and he turned back to Eggman. "Okay, no. Just no. You don't get to criticize Mephiles' plan. That was exactly what you were trying to do! And stop playing the violin!"

"You have your hobbies, I have mine! As for the crying, I… admittedly I was just kind of improvising my plan."

With the other mourners, Silver shot his head up. "Oh! That'd explain why Mephiles kept trying to get me to kill Sonic! Wow, imagine if I'd listened to him…"

Eggman, sans violin, walked over to everyone else and gestured toward the sun. "Soon, Solaris will devour all of time, leaving nothing. I always thought that if Solaris got the better of me, he'd just destroy Soleanna. But it appears he went after the flow of time itself."

Shadow looked around nervously. "Yeah… wonder… wonder where he got that idea…"

"Can we kill Solaris now?" Omega asked, unconcerned with the apocalypse and loss of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Eggman shrugged. "What for? Sonic's dead, and so is everything else. Time and space have ended. Everything left is like the bits of peanut butter on the side of the jar."

"Because I just don't like him."

"Bleed… make him bleed…" Tails chanted. Knuckles and Amy both gave the fox uncomfortable looks, which the fox did not notice. Tails licked his lips. Knuckles took a step back.

"You can't." Eggman said. "Solaris exists in the past, present, and future at the same time. What else would you expect from a time god?"

Silver tilted his head. "I thought you said there was no time."

Eggman shrugged. "I'unno, I just assume he'll be difficult."

Shadow dropped his head. "It might've been possible to fight him during all three points." The black hedgehog looked over to his fallen rival. "But Sonic's not with us anymore."

"I have an idea." Knuckles puffed out his chest. "I'll take Sonic's place."

"No." everyone responded at once.

"SONIC'S STILL DEAD!" Amy began crying all over again. Everyone else just looked at each other in confusion, wondering if Amy had somehow forgotten.

"Wait!" Elise spoke for the first time, gathering everyone but Amy's attention. "I have a better idea!"

"You have my full attention!" Amy shot up from crying over Sonic.

Tails ran over and pushed Amy aside again. "You have mine even more! And my attention's better!"

"Let's use the Chaos Emeralds!" Elise proposed. Silver shook his head.

"No, there's no way. It could never work! Unless…" Silver's eyes lit up. "We could use the Chaos Emeralds!" Silver suggested, smiling. Elise wondered if Silver was just trying to take credit, but the earnest smile on his face suggested otherwise. "And then I'll finally get to see that dragon!"

Eggman immediately started messing around with one of his sunglass lenses. "Ooh, I'm getting excited! Let's see… Aha! The Chaos Emeralds have been scattered to random corners of… whatever's left of this world. It seems Solaris couldn't destroy them."

Tails put a hand to his chin. "We'd have to split up…"

"Booya! Let's bounce!" Knuckles cheered.

Tails and Knuckles ran off, followed by Amy. "I'll save you, Casanova Hedgehog!"

Silver began to glide in a different direction. "Whee!"

Shadow motioned for his teammates to follow him. "C'mon, we'll split up just a little further."

Eggman watched as everyone left. "Uh, okay… I'll just be here…" he looked over to Elise, still clutching Sonic's corpse. "…feeling incredibly awkward." Elise started sniffing the corpse. "Oh dear mercy."

"Have no fear, your new deputy mayor is here!" Tails announced.

The small fox was flying over the ruins of the already ruined Crisis City. Blue versions of all the Iblis monsters were lurking about, throwing things at the fox.

"… Sure is a good thing I can fly."

An oversized, hideous blue eyeball appeared before Tails.

"AAAH!" Tails stopped short, and immediately fell. He started flying again, to keep himself out of the abyss. "What is this?"

The eye looked at Tails and began to vacuum-pull him.

"Noooo!" He threw a ring bomb at it, which did no good. Tails whimpered and fought against the pull. He made it out, but ran out of strength and fell.

"Aaaaa- OOF!" Tails landed. He noticed he was sitting atop a ruined billboard on the side of the slanted skyscraper. On the billboard was a man in a red helmet, and next to him were the words 'SHOW YOUR MOVES'.

"Wait, that guy's still around in the future?" Then something else caught Tails' attention. "Oh hey."

The yellow Chaos Emerald was visible in a trashcan in the corner of the office on the other side of the window. "Score!"

Omega stomped around the twisted version of Flame Core. "Showoff hedgehog. Why should he get the glory of killing Solaris? I have needs. Also I am not dead."

He was shooting at all the abominations he passed.

"At least I get to kill these monsters." Three Eyes of Solaris appeared in a triangular pattern around Omega, each wanting to absorb him. Only, Omega was standing at the perfect distance from the three of them, being completely out of their range. "Well. This is just sad."

Omega continued to stand there, while the Eyes of Solaris could do nothing. He robotically shrugged. "Preparing scan… Chaos Emerald found. It is at the base of the waterfall of magma. A 'magmafall', as the natives call it."

Omega activated his jetpack and flew to the 'magmafall'. He proceeded to grab the green Chaos Emerald. "Familiarity. This is the same Chaos Emerald I'd carried for two centuries."

Omega began his trek back to the nexus, but stopped.

"I wonder if I could spare some time to kill a few more monsters." An Eye of Solaris appeared behind Omega, and began inhaling. Omega quickly escaped with his jetpack and began to fly for the nexus. "On second thought, I have had my fill."

Knuckles glided over the monsters in what was left of the Tropical Jungle.

"No more future means no chance of 90's culture making a comeback! And I can't leave Sonic dead if I can help it!"

Knuckles kept gliding, bypassing all of the hideous beasts.

"Yo, these things are creeping me out… though none of them as badly as that giant turtle."

The giant turtle was also spared in the apocalypse, simply by being in the right place. He turned over to Knuckles and glared. "Oh? Well forget you too, pal."

Knuckles stopped for a second. "Wait, you can talk?"

"Yeah? So can you."

Knuckles folded his arms. "A'ight, a'ight, I can dig that. Where's the dang third Chaos Emerald, by the way?" He unfolded his arms. "I just assume I'll be the third one to find it. Three's my lucky number."

"Like I care." The turtle then spit the cyan Chaos Emerald out and onto a small islet. "I thought it was candy. You can have it."

Knuckles grimaced. "Uhh… thanks…" The echidna shuddered and glided over to retrieve the gem. "Sonic, you'd better appreciate this!"

Silver had made his way to the warped Dusty Desert. He glided from platform to platform, throwing crates, spiked balls, and even monsters at the Eyes of Solaris, none of them seemed to work.

"It's no… good. It's no good, nothing works on them."

An Eye of Solaris opened behind Silver, and began to absorb the entire platform he was on. Silver cringed and glided to a safer spot.

"Oooh… What would Blaze do?" He sighed. "Blaze isn't here, it's up to me now." Silver scanned the area. "If I were a Chaos Emerald, where would I be? Oh I know, a bonus stage! No wait, they discontinued those…"

Another Eye of Solaris opened next to Silver, forcing him to retreat to a third platform.

"This is hard! Where could it be?"

"GREETINGS." Silver looked over and noticed a robot waving at him. Silver waved back.

"Uh… hi."

"EVERYBODY-LEFT-ME-HERE."

"Oh… I'm sorry. Say, you haven't seen a Chaos Emerald, have you?"

"THIS?" the robot held out the white Chaos Emerald. Silver's mind powers pulled the emerald out of the robot's grasp, just in time for an Eye of Solaris to open behind the robot, sucking it in.

"TELL-EGGMAN-I'VE-ALWAYS-HATED-HIM!"

Silver did not hear the robot and looked at the Chaos Emerald. "Sonic, here I come!"

Rouge lazily flew about the wrecked island in the middle of Wave Ocean.

"Hmm. I wonder if that's natural lightning." The bat observed the lightning in the distance. What got her attention next were the Eyes of Solaris popping up all over the island, staring intently at the bat. "Ew. I know those aren't natural…. Oh hey."

She descended to the beach and picked up the purple Chaos Emerald. "That was easy."

She then looked over and saw that Tails' sandcastle was still there. The bat looked around and whistled innocently before walking over to the sandcastle and kicking it to nothing.

"Welp, time to go!" Rouge flew off.

Solaris was getting desperate. One by one, the mortals were finding the Chaos Emeralds. The sixth was about to be retrieved from the demolished White Acropolis. In response, he placed more eyes, and an infestation of Solaris Worms.

"Lalalala!" Amy was being ignored by every obstacle, for she was wearing a red plumber hat. However, the hat was transparent and intangible, allowing Amy the same properties.

Lightning bolts kept striking the ground behind the pink hedgehog, but she ignored it, pleased with herself. A Solaris Worm unearthed itself and roared at Amy.

"RAAAAAAAAAA-"

SMACK

Amy knocked it into a nearby Eye of Solaris, using her hammer. She proceeded to waltz right into a fortress hallway, past the unobservant Solaris Worms, and snatched the blue Chaos Emerald.

"Heehee!"

In spite of everyone moving at once, Shadow was still the last one to reach his designated Chaos Emerald. He had come to the remains of Kingdom Valley, and Solaris was throwing everything at him. More eyes, more monsters, more lightning.

"This isn't good… I'm running out of time… Though technically I guess there is no time, but I mean-"

A familiar eagle swooped down and grabbed Shadow in its talons.

"Uncle Sam, you never fail me." Shadow said, reverently.

"Braaaawk! America recognizes your efforts, Shadow the Hedgehog!" the eagle stated.

"LET'S. GET. MOOOOVING!" Shadow directed, and the eagle flew him past everything. It bypassed the lightning and anything the Solaris monsters could throw at it. With the red Chaos Emerald in sight, Solaris opened an eye right behind the eagle.

"Eeech!"

"Eagle!"

The eagle kicked Shadow away, toward the Chaos Emerald, leaving himself to be absorbed by the Eye of Solaris.

Shadow grabbed the Chaos Emerald and looked forlornly at the Eye of Solaris. It had consumed the eagle, and stared blankly at the remaining lifeform.

"Eagle… I'll alert the president of your sacrifice when this is over."

Shadow did a backflip, followed by breakdancing.

B

"I'll presume that's an aggregate score for all of us."

Eggman watched, frowning, as Elise was rubbing Sonic's forehead longingly.

"I'm back!" Tails said.

"Oh thank goodness!" Eggman immediately responded. "I don't know how much more I could take."

In short order, most of the others arrived as well.

"Hey guys." Rouge turned to Tails. "Hey Tails, someone destroyed your sandcastle. It wasn't me." the bat lied.

Everyone placed the Chaos Emeralds around Sonic's corpse. Sonic and the jewels began to levitate, as Elise approached them.

"Chaos Emeralds, please let Sonic come back to life so he can unscrew this situation."

She started walking closer to Sonic. Silver's eyes dilated. (Wait… she's not going to… OH MY GOSH, SHE IS!)

Silver began to violently shudder, as Elise leaned down and-

[REDACTED]

FBI WARNING

'Nope nope nope nope, the Land of Ten-Thousand Nopes.'

[This fanfiction has been suspended indefinitely.]

(I NEED AN ADULT!) Silver cringed and looked away.

Amy's jaw almost hit the floor.

Shadow winced. (Sonic… I'm so sorry.)

Rouge squinted one eye in confusion.

Omega did not care. "Can we kill Solaris now?"

Eggman had to fight to avoid throwing up.

Knuckles turned to Tails. "Uh, bro, should we… stop her or something?" Tails was watching, with a hint of a smile. "Tails?"

Tails became flustered. "Uh-wh-what's the hurry?! Why are you in such a rush? Solaris isn't going anywhere!"

To the relief of everyone but Tails, Elise finally backed off. Sonic's eyes shot wide open. Only now, his fur had a brilliant, golden hue, and his eyes were a burning crimson.

Name: Super Sonic

Rating: Super Awesome

Super Sonic shook his head to refocus himself. "Whoa… I had a weird dream. I died, and… oh wait that happened." He looked over to his friends. "Thanks for the save back there, guys! Really!"

Instead of being relieved, everyone just looked kind of awkward. Sonic tilted his head.

"Did… did something happen while I was dead?"

"NO!" everyone answered at once.

"Just… look," Shadow started, "Mephiles merged with Iblis after you died. I also think he's the culprit, but that's not relevant now. He and Iblis became Solaris. Then he ended the world, but all of us and your corpse were the only ones left. So we grabbed the Chaos Emeralds and brought you back. We brought you back by wishing for it really hard. And nothing else." Shadow spoke the last bit through his teeth.

"I helped!" Eggman said. Tails glared a dagger at him.

"I helped more!"

"Can we kill Solaris now?"

Sonic nodded. "Good idea. Shadow, you've been my costar, so you should probably help."

Shadow nodded. "If it means getting this farce over with."

"Aaand…" Sonic scanned the crowd. "We'll need a third…" He noticed Tails clamoring for attention, but otherwise there was no movement. He sighed. "Silver."

(Homewrecker!) Tails thought.

"Yes!" Silver stepped forth. Sonic held out his hands and granted energy to the other hedgehogs.

Name: Super Shadow

Rating: Super Edgy

"It's been a while…" Shadow commented.

Name: Super Silver

Rating: Almost Awesome

"Cooool!"

"C'mon guys, no time like the present! …Or what's left of it!" Super Sonic took off, flying straight into the sun. Super Shadow and Super Silver followed suit.

"Do a good job, Sonic! And the other two!" Elise cheered.

"Do better than the other two, Sonic!" Tails countered.

Knuckles beat a fist against his heart. "You got dis, Sonic!"

Amy waved. "Bye Sonic, bye Silver!"

"Don't mess up, Shadow!" Rouge teased.

"Hit him once for me." Omega looked up.

Eggman held out a megaphone. "SHADOW, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I CAN KIND OF STAND. SO GOOD LUCK."

The sun faded, revealing Solaris resting in midair, high above everybody else.

He was a weird birdlike statue, with glowing eyes. His main body and arms were like stone. There was a faint implication of a red core in the middle of his main body, and he had strange stone wings extending from his back.

Solaris let out a contained howl.

Boss: Solaris

Danger Quotient: 999% (+)

[Music rec.: Xenoblade final boss theme, phase 1]

The super hedgehogs were flying around Solaris like flies.

Eggman's voice blared over a megaphone, reaching the hedgehogs. "HEY GUYS, SOLARIS EATS DIMENSIONS FOR LUNCH. HE ATE FLIPSIDE AND FLOPSIDE LIKE A DOUBLE-DECKER SANDWICH!"

Super Sonic looked down. "And?"

"JUST LETTING YOU KNOW… OH AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY FIND WHATEVER'S TETHERING HIM TO YOUR POSITION, THAT'S HIS WEAKNESS."

Super Sonic nodded. "Never thought I'd say this, but thanks, Eggman."

"WANT ME TO PLAY VIOLIN FOR MORAL SUPPORT?"

"That won't be necessary."

Super Shadow whizzed past, snapping his fingers like a madman. He flew all around Solaris, and with each snap, small darts of energy homed in on Solaris.

Solaris belted out a ghostly wail as it held up its arms to shield itself from the darts.

"Wow." Shadow spoke up. "You might actually be more of a pushover than Mephiles. Guess you're better at temporal destruction than straight-forward combat."

Solaris' eyes flashed, and hardened Eyes of Solaris appeared. They all turned to stare at Shadow, and began flying toward him.

Super Shadow shrugged. "Whatever. I'll just have to-"

"I GOT IT!" Super Silver announced. He grabbed the eyes with his mind, stopping them short of Shadow. "Did I do good?"

"You mean 'did I do well'. And yes." Shadow crossed his arms. "You know what to do now."

"Right!" Super Silver floated in place for a few seconds. "… Uh-"

"The same lousy technique you're always using! Geez!" Shadow rolled his eyes.

"Oh, uh, yeah I knew that…"

Super Sonic hung back, snickering. Shadow eyed him. "You know, Sonic, you can help out. Kind of the reason we brought you back."

"Oh and here I thought you guys just liked me or something." Sonic japed.

Shadow smirked. "Now what would give you that idea?"

"I WILL END THIS NOW!" Super Silver called, focused on Solaris. One by one, he slammed each of the eyes into the god's stony arms, shattering them.

Solaris wailed again, flailing his arms. Without their armor, it could be seen that his arms were rather spindly and bioluminescent.

"That's your cue." Shadow remarked.

"Good luck, Sonic!"

Sonic mimed rolling up his sleeves. "Time to show this creep the real super power of-"

"Today, Sonic." said Shadow.

Sonic shrugged and charged up a golden spindash. He zoomed right through Solaris' core, shattering it.

Solaris screamed and began twitching and writhing, even bending his joints in unconventional ways. Sonic floated back to the scene of the fight.

"Uh, that means we won, right?"

Solaris exploded, and pieces flew everywhere. But before anyone could react, the pieces flew back to their original position, reforming Solaris. The god let out another unearthly roar.

Solaris' wings were different, more traditional. They were similar to the Soleanna emblem. Worst of all, his core was fully regenerated.

Boss: Solaris (Reborn)

Danger Quotient: ?

[Music rec.: Solaris, phase 2]

"Here it comes!" Shadow warned.

Solaris immediately started throwing dozens of lasers at the hedgehog trio. They all flew out of the way, and began to dart about the airspace, dodging more lasers, followed by more hardened Eyes of Solaris.

Down below, everyone was getting anxious.

"Nooo! Blast it all! Is Solaris truly unstoppable?!" Eggman stomped his foot and threw down the megaphone. Elise shook her head.

"No… Solaris has a consciousness! That's his core!"

Rouge gave Elise a look. "Uh… like the thing that just got regenerated after Sonic smashed it?"

Amy tilted her head, trying to get a better view of the fight. "So… what if we just make him unconscious?"

Eggman put a hand to his chin. "Hmm."

Knuckles looked back and forth between Amy and Eggman. "Wait, really? It can be that easy? Tails homeboy, what do you think?"

Tails was watching the fight with glee. "KILL HIM, SONIC! KILL HIM UNTIL HE'S DEAD!"

Knuckles grimaced. "I liked it better when you were the straight man to my antics."

The doctor nodded. "Yes, they can probably knock Solaris unconscious, and he'll lose control from there. That could give them an opening! I knew spending recess reading about ancient gods instead of making friends would pay off!"

Omega revealed a machinegun arm. "And you are sure we can't just shoot Solaris to death?"

Super Silver crashed into the ground in front of everyone. "Ow… I'm okay." He got back up. Just as he was going to take off, Amy grabbed his shoulder.

"Wait! Silver, we have an idea for you guys! Knock him unconscious by attacking his core!"

Super Silver turned to Amy. "So… we do what we've been doing?"

"Pretty much!"

"Cool!" Super Silver gave Amy a thumbs up and flew back to the others. Solaris was taking a break in between onslaughts.

"Nice of you to join us!" Super Sonic said with a smirk. "Bring any souvenirs?"

Silver gave Sonic a big grin. "Only the secret on how we can beat Solaris!"

"Eh, it's not a chilidog, but I'll take it."

Silver could not tell if Sonic was joking. "We knock it out by hitting the core over and over!"

Super Shadow glared. "That's… exactly what we've been doing."

"Yeah but… I dunno, they just told me to tell you guys!"

Super Shadow sighed. "Whatever. Nothing to lose at this point."

The ultimate lifeform flew closer to Solaris. The primordial beast prepared to fire a laser, but Shadow teleported in time to avoid it. He reappeared.

"Chaos Lance!" Super Shadow threw a larger version of the Chaos Spear into Solaris's core. The god-beast cried out in agony. Solaris then grabbed the spear with both hands, trying to pull it out. Shadow frowned. "No good. It's not deep enough."

Eggman's voice returned with the megaphone. "DON'T LET HIM REMOVE IT!"

"Leave it to me!" Super Silver declared.

Silver focused his energy and created twin golden psychic knives. Silver spun around and threw them both at Solaris' arms, severing them from the main body.

Solaris thrashed his head around in pain, and Sonic gave a thumbs up. "Now it's my turn!"

He began to charge up spindash like before.

"Heheh! All right, Solaris! The present? That here-and-now you took? I'm gonna take it back! You might think this world is yours, but I have news for ya! This is my world!"

"Quit talking, you'll waste energy!" Shadow demanded.

Sonic continued charging. As he prepared, his friends and allies encouraged him.

"Go, go, Sonic! You're my hero!"

"Show that fool, homeboy!"

"I love you Sonic!"

"Watch yourself, Big Blue!"

"No seriously, hit him once for me."

"Sonic, I don't like you and you don't like me, but I need you to make this count!"

"Do it, Sonic! I know you can!"

Sonic. Thanks for looking after Silver. Now go! Show Solaris why he's messed with the wrong timeline!

Super Sonic finished charging and bolted straight for the Chaos Lance lodged in Solaris' core. A bright beam of gold rammed the lance, pushing both it and Super Sonic through the other side.

NOW LOADING…

Solaris thrashed around some more and fell limp.

NOW LOADING…

Super Sonic sighed, shaking his head. "Stupid loading screens."

The three hedgehogs lowered themselves back to the platform and reverted back to their normal forms. All of their friends gathered around to cheer for them, while Eggman crossed his arms and nodded with approval.

Hsssssss

Everyone looked to where Solaris used to be. A white light began to emanate from his position, and it shortly overtook all of them.

…

Elise and Sonic were floating out in the middle of nowhere. Sonic spoke first.

"I'm… pretty sure we won. But in that case… What's going on?"

"Look!" Elise pointed, and Sonic turned. There was a brilliant, white flame. "The true Solaris."

The duke and his young daughter were in a dark hall, lit only by the small flame that was Solaris, kept in an ornate lantern.

"Look at that, Elise. That's Solaris. One day when he gets bigger, we'll be able to use him to control time!"

"And then we can see Mama again!"

"I was going to go back and warn my younger self to go on that diet, but resurrecting your mother works too. Come now, Elise. Let's go home."

"Daddy, can I have security guards for my birthday tomorrow?"

"What for?"

Once the duke and his daughter left, Sonic and the contemporary Elise stepped out and approached Solaris.

"So…" Sonic scanned the flame. "This is Solaris' true form."

Solaris spoke to Sonic, in a helium whisper. "Oh yes!"

Elise opened Solaris' lantern and carefully picked up the little tray upon which the flame rested. "If we put out the flame, Solaris will never grow. They'll never experiment on him, Iblis and that crystal hedgehog will never be created, and my father might even have a chance to live."

Sonic nodded. "Sounds good. I'll let you have the honors."

"B-but Sonic. This means… we wouldn't have ever met!"

Sonic looked around awkwardly. "Uh, oh really? Golly, darn shame. Well, at least we enjoyed our time together- pleaseputouttheflamenow."

Elise began to tear up. "Sonic… just know that I'll miss you. You've helped me. So much."

Sonic rubbed the back of his head. "Uh… yeah. No prob, bob."

Elise stared blankly. "… It's 'Elise'."

Sonic gave Elise a thumbs up and she nodded, sporting a tearful smile.

Solaris was extinguished.

The year was 2006. It was a magical time. The seventh generation of video game consoles was setting in, Sonic the Hedgehog finished researching the Arabian Nights, Shadow had come to grips with his backstory, and it was the fifteenth anniversary of the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Nothing could go wrong.

Not even during the Sun Festival of Soleanna, a town which rested in a distant and absurdly realistic corner of the world. Things were innocent. No danger had presented itself. Not even any camp and unintentionally entertaining shenanigans. At least until Eggman launched his scheme to harness the power of Dark Gaia and rule the planet- but that's another story.

Elise stood upon a fancy boat in the middle of a canal, before some robed sages on a platform.

"Yo princess, snap out of it!" a lady-in-waiting called.

"Sorry, I just imagined a blue hedgehog running past us, along the street."

"Oh… good for you? You should take the torch now."

High above the festivities, Sonic the Hedgehog watched the whole thing with a grin. It became a frown.

"… Yep, still remember." Sonic held out his wrist, to speak into a communicator. "How about you, Tails?"

"Yep."

"Yeah, we should leave." Sonic said, turning his gaze to the moon.

Epilogue – Sonic 2006 Animal House Ending

[Credits music: Shout, by the Isley Brothers]

(Imagine footage of the characters, pausing when captions appear.)

Elise – Elise was kidnapped the next morning after the festival. Her father, having survived in the new timeline, put out a bounty for her safe return. She has yet to be returned.

Espio – Espio became a street performer, living from day to day, breakdancing and doing rap battles for the public. He was later arrested when he was found smuggling red rings out of Chun-Nan.

Sonic Man – Sonic Man went on an expedition to find Christmas Island to learn the secrets of Sonic's speed. The trip ended early when he realized that he had no idea where Christmas Island was. He cried himself to sleep that night.

Zazz – Zazz became a door-to-door Tupperware salesman, along with the rest of the Deadly Six. No one buys anything because Zomom eats the products, but Zavok's death glares ensure sales regardless.

Pietro – Captain Pietro never became a Soleanna guard and instead took to performing saxophone at the local club. One night he fell asleep in the back, neglecting to blow out his birthday cake candles. The club burned down during his nap, and Pietro woke up in prison.

Eggman – Eggman put together a weekly tabletop group in an effort to make friends. Only Mighty the Armadillo, Jet the Hawk, and Big the Cat showed up. Their sessions usually derail into rules lawyering and arguing over whose turn it is to pay for takeout.

Omega – Omega became ordained and now had the power to wed. He held a conference amongst GUN and had several agents married against their will. It was later revealed that his license was not genuine, and Omega was excommunicated from the church.

Rouge – Rouge got lost in the middle of a heist trip when she saw something shiny. She was later found on a deserted island, proclaimed as the queen of the island. Before GUN could rescue her, they had to present her with several gems to remind Rouge of her true self.

Shadow – Shadow realized his true calling and became a Drivers' Ed instructor. Several of his students failed their tests and went home crying, and it was suggested that Shadow try being more patient. Shadow had his superiors fired and inherited their responsibilities and the coffeemaker.

Amy – Amy tried to free animals from the Soleanna Zoo, in a fit of confusion over the difference between her friends and the regular animals. They found her riding the giraffes, cackling like a madwoman. The animals pledged their lives to Amy.

Blaze – Blaze was approached with an offer to star in a cat food commercial. She accepted, but then things got awkward when she came to the set holding a fork and knife, with a napkin tied around her neck. They shot the commercial anyway.

Silver – Silver tried to make fast cash by entering himself into a dog show under the name 'Venice'. He was found out immediately, yet somehow still won the grand prize. Silver proceeded to spend the money on a new car.

Knuckles – Knuckles went on to drop the best album of 2006 'Kibbles and Chaos Emeralds', inspired by the sadness he feels when he wakes up and remembers that he's not in the 90's. He was later approached to perform the song on SNL.

Tails – Tails was found in a closet with a mutilated Egg Pawn, wearing its head as a hat, mumbling about the apocalypse. When the story hit the news, the footage became viral and Tails became a minor web celebrity. Tails embraced his fame.

Sonic – Sonic unintentionally brought about a new fad in Mobius fashion by wearing a flea collar and accidentally leaving it on after it stopped working. Sonic appeared on the cover of magazines, with articles detailing his perspective on fashion. A special Sonic-themed version of flea collars began production, and Sonic is still receiving royalties to this day.

The End!

Author's Notes:

There we go, a bit longer than usual, but still shorter than Chapter 11. And we're done! This was a fun story, even if some parts of it weren't that thrilling for me to write. I had fun overall. I guess I'll describe a bit of backstory before going into chapter notes.

It all started when I watched restupurae play through this game. It got me a little interested in seeing this bad game for myself. Then a few months later, Monty Oum of Rooster Teeth passed away. I was saddened by this, and needed a distraction. I bought Sonic Lost World and Sonic Generations, and eventually got around to playing them. This is when I really got my Sonic muse. I started thinking of writing this story, then the final push was when I read the Several Wills trilogy by Child at Heart Forever (go read it). All this combined, I sat down, shared some ideas for character quirks and the story summary with my friend and my brother, and I began.

Overall, I feel good about this story. I feel this one might even top Kingdumb Hearts II, the last full-scale parody I wrote. There was plenty of material to work with, and I could have fun with the game's reputation and the legacy it would leave behind. Silver, Shadow, Eggman, and Sonic Man have been my favorite characters to write, as I've said before.

Quite a few things went unexpectedly. Tails usurped Knuckles as the weirdo of his trio, Eggman's insecurities weren't planned until after Chapter 1 was written, I didn't even think of the Solaris Cult until I got to that part of Chapter 10. Shadow was also going to be more focused on serving his country, but that later died down in favor of him serving as the straight man, which works best for him. After Chapter 7, Mephiles wasn't really that fun anymore, but I still have a soft spot for him in my heart. Oh yes.

Anyway, chapter notes.

Mephiles' laugh was a textual recreation of his actual, signature laugh. I'd heard it used in so many parodies that it was kind of cool to hear it in original context, even though I already knew.

The entire End of the World sequence before Solaris went by a lot faster than I'd thought it would, but I'm okay with how it turned out. Eggman kind of stole the show again, but it was his last major scene, so I allowed it. Shadow also took control of the scene, but he's the de facto leader when Sonic's indisposed, so it makes sense for him.

I think the sketches of everyone finding Chaos Emerald were hit or miss for me. I liked some more than others. Knuckles and Rouge had it the easiest, but the game footage I saw made their parts look really easy. I wrote Amy's section being easy (via the Vanish Cap) just to mess with Solaris. I'm not sure if the Chaos Emeralds were gathered by those certain characters, but whatever.

Sonic's revival… happened. It definitely happened. I couldn't bring myself to actually describe it, but we all know what happened. Tails' reaction to it is a reference to the film, Top Secret. And Silver noticing it before it happens is based on the game. Watch him right before it happens, he knows it's coming.

I wanted to have Solaris speak to the heroes a few times (in the voice of Mephiles), but I think one thing the game did get right is how Mephiles/Solaris doesn't talk after the merge. It made the transformation and the aftermath more effective (though in this game, you can only do so much). But I couldn't resist giving True Solaris a helium version of Mephiles' voice. Though I am pleased with the banter between all the characters during the fight.

I tried not to be too hard on Elise during the final scenes, Sonic made sure to maintain some semblance of civility. The end of the game is rather open to interpretation. It's later said that no one remembers, but Sonic continuity is shaky. At least in this version of the story- everyone who'd made it to End of the World knows what happened. Sonic's still out of the loop on what Elise did to wake him up, but that's fine.

As stated, the final bit is a parody of Animal House.

And there we have it, my own take on the big bad game itself. I'm still feeling good about doing a Xenoblade parody, so after I take a break, I'll see what I can do. No promises, but I'm really feeling it. … Don't worry, I won't abuse that line.

I'd like to thank SEGA for better or worse, as well as retsupurae. I'd also like to thank my reviewers and anyone who's taken the time to read the story.

Hope you enjoyed. See you on the next one.