A seat in the bus to the end of the road

Part 2

The pain stayed there. Hours of crying turned into days and days turned into weeks. Not one single day went without tears being shed because of the albino ex-fiancé of mine. He had come over on multiple occasions, trying to talk to me and Black*Star send him away every time. After his visits, flowers and chocolate came. A Dozen perfect red flowers every day with a note attached which said "I'm sorry. I love you to the end of the world. Xoxo Soul." I hated the gifts. Every time the doorbell rung and the delivery came, it always sent me into a crying frenzy and the torment, pain, agony and the memories of him and The Dealer always came to my mind. The romantic flowers and my favorite chocolate being send to me every day.

Black*Star had enjoyed the chocolate at the beginning since he was always the one eating them and throwing away the flowers, two weeks in he had snapped and gone over to Soul's apartment. The deliveries had stopped and instead texted came to my phone, the same as the messages he wrote on the flowers. That was easier to take care of since I could block his number.

Soul used every possible way in order to reach out to me. Social networks, letters, messages he had written on the window on the apartment in the middle of the night, sending people over to talk to me about accepting him. Everything. Not a single day went by without him trying to reach out to me. Not a single day without me having a meltdown because of the ordeal I had witnessed on Black*Star's phone.

Black*Star had confessed of knowing about Soul and The Dealer and told me he was going to come to the apartment that same night and show me the video because I deserved the truth. Soul had begged him not to show me the video and he had given him twenty-four hours to tell me about what happened or else he would come and tell me himself. I had forgiven him since he had good intensions and it wasn't his fault Tsubaki accidentally taking his phone. I didn't hold a grudge toward anyone of them.

Two and a half months later, I found and apartment for myself and Tsubaki and Black*Star were more than supportive to give me spare furniture they had so I could live in my apartment. They gave me a bed, a table, two chairs, a couch, silverware, plates, glasses and other kitchen necessaries.

One week later the unbelievable had happened.

"K-Kid?!" He stood there. My first love. More beautiful and handsome than I could remember.

"Maka." Gentlemanly he grabbed my hand and planted a kiss on it before his golden eyes looked up into min. "It is nice to once again bask in the beauty of your presence."

I had totally forgotten how it was being with a gentleman. While Soul had only done small romantic gestures very rarely. Like when I dressed up, he only commented I looked nice. Not ever when I woke up like a mess or in our everyday life. Once he had left behind a note in a movie case, a romantic move case. The note said "You need lovin'? Ask me and I will be more than happy to show you some lovin " With that, he meant sex. No romantic or emotional connection, only physical.

Kid was oozing off romance. He showered me with compliments and when I was at my worst, he was complimenting on my intimate beauty, beauty he would want to capture in a box all for himself. Not just with the compliments, he came bearing gifts. White Lilies mixed with Daisies, my favorite combination of flowers. The flowers only made my heart clenched with hurt, reminding me about Soul's red roses. He sent me roses when he knew I clearly liked Daisies and Lilies better. It agonized me even more, realizing how dysfunctional the relationship was. The wedding was supposed to bring people together, but it had only torn us apart, shown me a side of Soul I didn't like. One really bad argument would send him to the bar to get drunk, high and fuck some chick to then return and keep it a secret from me while I made a fool of myself, feeling guilty over what I had said and made up for it when he only pretended like everything was fine.

But with Kid, he was something extra. Like the vanilla in my cocoa and my conditioner to my shampoo. After the kind of relationship Soul and I had, it felt like I needed to be close to Kid. Like I carved romance and that kind of emotional intimacy. I was starved and Kid was the only one who could still the emotional hunger.

Kid came over to my place every day work was over and we ate dinner together and cuddled up on the couch, talking about our lives. I told him about Soul and his recent cheat. I told him everything. About the faults in my relationship with Soul and about the hurt I had experienced and my wish to take things up once again with him. He had agreed, how he too wanted to start dating me. I had thought he would kiss me then, but when he left, he respectfully kissed my cheek with a promise of taking me on a date on Friday.

The bliss of finally reunite with my first love didn't last long. Not until Soul found out about Kid and I.

He banged loudly on my front door, yelling and screaming and begging me to open the door. I was already dressed up in a fine purple dress with sequins decorating the hems.

I opened the door and he burst inside. "Please tell me it's not true! Please tell me you are not together with that― with that― Runner!"

I crossed my arms over my chest and arrowed my eyebrows. "It is none of your business. How did you even know I lived here?"

"It is my business!" He exclaimed and grabbed a hold of my shoulders. "You're making a mistake! Remember how he just walked away from you in junior year? He will do it again! He will just hurt you!"

"At least he won't cheat on me." I pushed him by the chest and fisted my hands. "He loves me and he does respect me and he does appreciate me. He shows me he still loves me through all of these years and I do like him." I threw the words like knifes. It was visible, for every word it was like a punch to his gut and tears welled up in his eyes. "I would rather take the chance and trust him than turn him away and be miserable for what you did."

He stood still. His eyes wide and tears rolled down his cheeks. He wasn't ashamed for showing his tears for me. "I fucked up." He said. "I fucked up in the worst and sickest way possible. It was me who picked up the pieces of you when Kid broke your heart. It was I who was always there for you. And I'm still here."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "Like I would ever go to you for comfort. You are unable to sooth anyone's pain."

"I may not be the first person of your choice." He walked up to me and his hands on my shoulders. He didn't held my shoulders hard. He held them softly as his thumbs caressed the exposed flesh. "But I will still be here. My door will always be open for you and I will be here for you when he breaks your heart, because he will break your heart. He will use you and when he gets tired, he will throw you away like he did in high school."

"He is a better man than you. He won't do it."

He did not replied to it. "I love you." His hands released my shoulders and enveloped me in his warmth. "I always will." He inhaled my scent shakily and deeply.

I shuddered. His smell far too familiar and far too good for my own good. His tender arms hugged me lovingly and I could feel his affection and love toward me oozing off his body. My fingers tingled and I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and burst out in tears, telling him to promise me to never do such a horrible thing to me again and love me like never before and to never ever leave me. I'm too deep. Too far away to go back to him. He may be what I want at the moment because of our past, but Kid is what I needed.

"You're always going to be my number one girl. You'll always be my girl in my mind." He pulled away from me, leaving soaked spots on my bare shoulders. "You look really beautiful by the way. I'm just sad it isn't for me." I let him finish. He leaned forward and his lips kissed my head. My hands on pure instinct reached out for his jacket to pull him closer, but then froze and dropped them down to my sides. "Even though you are with Kid," he pulled away from me and tugged at his collar and revealed a silver chain with my engagement ring hanging in it, "In my mind, you will always be with me. You will always be in my heart."

Oh God! He kept the ring! Around his neck! My heart raced and I gulped loudly and I knew if he stayed long, I would break down and asked him to stay and hold me the rest of the night.

"Goodbye Soul." I whispered and looked away from him, tears prickled at my eyes.

He leaned forward again and pressed his lips against my cheek, way too long for my liking, because I liked it far too much. He then pulled away and walked out of my apartment for good.

It was over. It was finally over. He had finally accepted we were over and gave me the space I needed to pick up things with Kid. It was just, when he came and picked me up and brought me to the fancy restaurant, I could only think about Soul and comparing him to Kid. Soul had never brought me to any expensive restaurants. For dates we had taken a stroll in the park and shared a cotton candy or chilled at home watching movies. Never had Soul and I done something larger, taking the step further.

Kid had pulled out my chair and held doors open, something Soul hadn't done either. I should be feeling loved and the tingling in my stomach, but I could only picture Soul doing the same and only the fantasy brought out the desired feeling, only they were tenfold. My stomach twirled like a ballerina and my body heated up. Oh, why couldn't Soul have done something like that? Why couldn't I have done something to spark the romance intimacy between us? All I had thought about was creating the perfect day for us, with Soul. In the end, we bad both ruined the engagement. Me pushing and tugging at Soul, he may have dropped the bomb, but I do have some ownership in the breakup.

I couldn't think about Kid. When he took me back to his home, he kissed me. It was nice, feeling his lips on mine, but they didn't make my body go haywire like Soul did. Even though when I hated what he did, his kiss on my head and cheek drew more feelings out than his kisses on my mouth.

His hands wandered over my body, taking the zipper in his hands and started to pull it down. My dress soon tumbled down to the floor and I was left in my underwear, feeling the cool air hitting my skin and the uneasy feeling only grew.

Kid ripped off his shirt and his hands attacked my bra, massaging and rubbing, only his touch didn't bring out anything. We had never had sex or touched or seen any of each other's private parts since we wanted to wait till we were eighteen. He would be the second guy I was with. I wasn't okay with it. I didn't want it. At least not now.

"Kid." I grabbed his hands off of my chest and held them in my hands. "We are going too fast."

He cocked his eyebrow questionably. "Too fast? We dated for almost three years in high school. We know each other. This can't be too fast."

"Yes it is." I released his hands. "I'm still hurt from what Soul did. I'm still hurting and I'm not ready to start things off with another guy. Please, if you truly love me, then wait for me. I need to handle my feelings and maybe one day in the nearest future we could be together for real."

He sighed loudly, backpedaling and taking a seat on the bed behind him. He rested his head in his palms and his elbows on his thighs. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I'm going on a business trip in a week."

In that moment, I realized two things. One, he had no intentions of starting a relationship with me, all he wanted was sex. Two, Soul was right. He had intentions of using me to then leave me.

I felt cheated on. Not to the length of the kind of cheat Soul did, it was more like a cut on the fingertip. It didn't hurt me, I was ashamed for giving him a chance when I should be alone and working on myself.

I raised my hand and slapped his cheek hard before I quickly got dressed and walked out of the house.

Months went by and it had now gone a little over six months since the day inside of the lingerie shop. The day I found out about Soul's infidelity. I was living my life alone from a male companion. I still had mixed feelings about Soul, which I was dealing with every day. I threw myself in my work and went out with Tsubaki regularly to have someone to talk to about Soul. I knew Soul had been hanging out with them too since one day when I visited Black*Star and Tsubaki, Black*Star was on the phone with him.

Tsubaki came out and told me she was pregnant, and she had asked me to be the godmother. And she had told me she had invited Soul to their "Celebration of Fertility." She wanted both of us there since we were both close friends she would want to have with her. She had begged me to come even though he would be there, and I had accepted it. I couldn't be selfish and walk away because he would be there. We were adults, we could act civil around each other.

A week before the Celebration of Fertility, or CoF like Black*Star called it, my car suddenly broke down so I had to take the bus to work and back.

The bus was empty except for me and the bus driver in it. It was already dark outside and I was exhausted for working another night overtime. The ride was soothingly and I kept my eyes closed, resting as much as I could.

The bus slowed down before it came to a halt, picking up another passenger. The sound of the rough voice of the male bus driver was distance as I kept my eyes closed, almost falling into a deep sleep.

"Maka?"

I opened my eyes and met red ones. It was Soul. He was different. His hair was longer and he had grown a beard on his jawline. He hadn't been shaving for a while and dark bags decorated under his eyes.

"Soul." I whispered, still stuck in awe at the sight of him. I hadn't seen him in months.

"Um," He looked at the bus driver before his gaze returned to me, "Can I sit beside you?"

Without verbally answering him, I moved my bag from the seat for him to take.

He took the seat beside me and tangled his fingers together. His eyes looked forward as I looked out of the window again. We sat in silence. No one said anything. Our shoulders occasionally touched when the bus turned.

After all of these months, my heart still speed up and my fingers tingled, wanting to reach out for his hand and take it in mine. I wanted to lean toward him and rest my head against his shoulder like I had done so many times. I wanted him to wrap his arm around my shoulders and hug me like he always did when I caught him making breakfast in the morning. I wanted to smell his cologne and drift into the world of the past, the memories when we were together and everything was fine. No weed trouble. No Kid trouble. Just us. Happy.

"So," he cleared his throat. "Why are you taking the bus, if I may ask?"

"Car broke down." My eyes stayed on the outside of the bus, watching as buildings and street lamps went by. "You?"

"Battery died." And silence fell over us again before Soul took the initiative to talk again. "You cut your hair."

Oh yeah, I had. I cut off my long hair to my shoulders and kept the bangs. "Yeah. You saved yours."

"Yeah. Didn't really feel like cutting it."

"You grew a beard."

"Yeah, thought it might be cool."

We still didn't look at each other. "If you ask me, I think you would fit better in sideburns if you want to rock the long hair. Girls love guys with long hair and sideburns."

"Do you?" For the first time, he turned toward me and I could feel his eyes looking at me.

"I have always preferred shorter hair and a smooth face." I didn't me his eyes.

"Like Kid?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess."

Silence once again fell, but Soul was certainly not quiet. His clothes rustled as he squirmed in his seat as if he had ants in his pants. "Are you coming to the CoF this Saturday?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Tsubaki want me there, then I will be there. You?"

"Yeah. Black*Star threatened to confiscate my bike if I didn't come."

"You think it was him who ran your battery out?" I asked, turning toward him, his eyes met mine. "I mean, maybe like a taste of how it would be like if you didn't come."

He nodded and he unclasped his hands, putting them on his thighs. "Yeah, I think so too." The conversation had hit another dead-end. No one looked away from the other. I looked into his ruby eyes. The last time I had looked at him, those eyes were twisted in pain and tears had flooded down his cheeks. Hurt. Pain written in his eyes and sorrow carved into his skin.

"How has your life been then?"

"Oh," He bit his lower lip, "It has been a rollercoaster. Caught chlamydia―"

My eyes widen. "You caught chlamydia?!" I exclaimed in shock. My heart sunk to my stomach and unwillingly I felt cheated again and worried for his well-being. Two completely opposite feelings battling out. Worry of course had to win.

"Relax." His hand grabbed mine and gave it a squeeze. My eyes looked to our hands before I looked back into his eyes. It's just like before. When worry creeped up on me, he would grab my hand and squeeze it. It's so familiar. "I've been treated. I'm clean now. I wasn't surprised. Blair spreads her legs for anyone and I was stupid for interacted with her. I did deserve the disease and I'm just lucky I didn't catch anything incurable."

Blair. The Dealer. I remember as if it was yesterday.

"Did she…" I gulped. "Get pregnant?" I didn't want to know. Soul wasn't of any of my business and I didn't even want to know if she was―

"She tried to trap me at the beginning, saying she was even though I never… you know… the chances were slim and the truth came out she wasn't ever pregnant."

I sighed in relief and squeezed his hand. "You dodged a bullet." Oh, I do not want to release his hand.

"Yeah. I did." The corner of his mouth twitched and I swear I imagined it, but did he move closer to me? "What about you? What have you done all of these months?"

"Nothing really. Worked. Hung out with Tsubaki and Liz. I'm actually planning to travel to Rome to check out the food and European culture."

"With who?"

I pressed the stop button since my stop was close now. "At the moment it seems like I will travel alone. Tsubaki is pregnant and therefore won't want to travel, Black*Star would be glued to her side and Liz can't because of her kids."

The bus started to slow down and came to a halt. I got up from my seat and our hands separated to my disappointment. He moved out of the seat so I could get out.

"What about Kid?" He spat out the name.

"Oh, he and I are over. You were right." I moved pass him. "I will see you at the Celebration then, bye." I left a stunned Soul behind on the bus and I got out. The cool air hit my skin as I tightened my jacket around me, the bus drove away. The snow beautifully danced down from the sky as I started to head toward my apartment.

"Maka!" I turned around and I saw Soul throwing himself out of the bus and ran toward me. "Wait!" His feet hit the fallen snow and up to me. "I forgot," He panted, "To tell you, to give me your bank account numbers so I can return money to you from the wedding."

I smiled at him. "You didn't have to get off the bus for that. You could have told me at the Celebration."

He smiled sheepishly at me. "Okay, you got me, it is dark and I don't want you to walk alone."

I blinked. "What about you? Your apartment is at least four miles away. You can't walk home in the dark either."

"I will take a cab. Don't worry about it. I will be fine." His hand took mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. Oh dear, my heart is melting.

We started walking home toward my place, hand in hand. The silence was comfortable, just like lying on a bed of the softest material and silk sheets wrapped around me. There is nothing I would rather do right now than to hold his hand and stroll around in the dark like how we always used to do. Going through parks, hearing Soul complain about the weather or the sweet gestures he did like walking around puddles with me so my shoes wouldn't get wet. Of course, he did complain about the detour, but he still did it.

"So, you and Kid are done?" Soul asked.

I have a feeling he just recklessly stopped the bus just to come to me because of the subject me and Kid not being together.

"Yeah, I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship and he wasn't ready to wait for me." I said, swinging our entwined hands, his smooth and long fingers in mine. How I had missed this. "It didn't hurt. I mean, we weren't really in a serious relationship. It wasn't hard walking away from him."

"I'm glad you weren't hurt." He looked at me, his nose and cheeks turning slightly red from the cold. "I mean, it is a shame it didn't work out―"

"Oh shut up, you are happy it ended, you don't need to pretend." I playfully tackled my shoulder into his.

He smirked wide. "Oh yeah, I'm more than pleased it is over. You are single, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, have been for a couple of months now and I have no plans of changing that statues any time soon." My apartment complex started to come into view to my frozen toes pleasure. "I still have feelings to take care of and I'm not in need of a boyfriend or anything. Right now, alone is where I need to be."

"Maybe you are in need of a boy friend."

I raised my eyebrow. "I just said I'm not interested."

He chuckled. "No, no." We started to walk up the stairs to my front door. "I mean, a guy friend."

We reached my floor and we walked down the hallways, leading to my front door. "I already have Black*Star."

"Maybe you need another one?" We both stopped in front of my door and he stood so close to me, definitely too close for my comfort. I want to grab a hold of him and reel him close to me.

Yes! No! "Maybe." I smiled and looked down at our hands. "I don't know."

"Can I call you tomorrow? You know, maybe going out for a cup of coffee or something."

Coffee? With him? Oh, my heart is speeding faster than a high-speed train.

I should refuse. I know I should refuse. He had hurt me badly and who knows if he would do it again. "Okay." But I couldn't refuse. I don't hate him, I hate what he did.

He lit up like the sun. "Great. I will call you then." His hand slipped from mine and he started to back away. "I'll see you, Maka." He turned around and started to walk toward the stairs.

My heart started to speed. "Soul!"

He turned around and he looked at me with the softest of eyes. "Yeah?"

I gulped loudly, trying to calm down my racing heart. "Can you call me tonight when you get home? I just want to know you got home safely."

He smiled softly and nodded. "Of course, as long as you have unblocked my number."

I nodded. "Right."

He waved again and continued to the stairs. I fished up my keys and started to unlock my front door, I watched Soul's white hair disappear down the stairs.

I bit my lower lip. I didn't want things to end like this between us. We are on the right track of becoming friends, but I do not want him to walk away from here. Not in the dark. Maybe not ever. Even though the whole scenario, I still loved him with passion and I wanted him. I wanted to give him another chance.

I left the keys in the lock and darted to the staircase. "Soul!" I crashed into the railing and looked down the staircase. "Soul!"

His head peeked out up from the stairs, two levels down. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Are you single too?" I looked at his face, my hands tighten on the railing.

Slowly he started to head up the stairs again, not breaking eye contact. "Yeah. Never went on a date or kissed a different girl since you left me."

"Have you smoked since it happened?" I could feel tears pour up in my eyes. Joy and relief and the emotional vortex of mixed feelings shook my body.

"No. I don't have any plans of every doing it again." He walked up another level toward me.

"Do you still want me? Do you still love me?" A tear drop rolled down my cheek and dropped down through the staircase.

"Yes. Oh yes, hell yes. Of course. I love you! I only have eyes for you!" His steps grew quicker as his eyes grew larger and hope glistered in his eyes.

I gulped loudly and my throat ran dry. "I love you, please, take me back."

"Idiot." He broke out in a full sprint up the stairs and our eyes tore away as he focused on run up the stairs to me and soon, only a few steps separated us. "It is I who should be asking that."

"I want you back." I ran down the last step as he ran up the last toward me. I threw myself down the steps and he caught me, our lips meshed together and the frozen heart of mine suddenly shocked with warmth and love. The same heart that was frozen since I saw that video. His lips moved chaotically against mine, communicating love, affection and a long-term commitment to me and me only. His hands held me so tightly against him, locking me against him forever and I didn't mind since I tugged at his neck, pulling his face closer to mine as I angled my head to take him deeper into my mouth. Our tongue danced the waltz of love and affection. It was months since the incident, but we hadn't had such a heated kiss for more than that.

"I love you." He murmured with his tongue still in my mouth and his hands pressing on my back. "So, so, so, so much." I could barely make out his words with his tongue in my mouth and my mouth moving eagerly on his.

I could stay here forever, in his arms, his mouth on mine and his tongue gently massaging mine. I loved him, terribly badly. There was just a slight problem.

I broke the kiss and rested my forehead on his, standing a step taller than him. "Your beard is itching."

His eyes blinked and he broke out laughing. "That's why you don't like beards?"

I blushed and nodded, my arms still tightly wrapped around his neck. "I'm not ready to jump back in our relationship like nothing happened." I whispered. "I want to take this slow and build up my trust for you again. I might have forgiven you, but I certainly haven't forgotten."

"I understand. Can I officially call you mine?"

I kissed his forehead and held his head in my arms. "Yes. Don't make me regret this."

He kissed my neck and his arms tightens around me. His lips planting kiss after kiss on my exposed neck, sending shivers down my spine, only reminded me it was a long time since we had been intimate. My thighs quivered in excitement, but I wasn't going to go after my need and lust.

"I won't break your heart or your trust." He whispered between delicious kiss and joyful nip of my skin. "And by the way, would it be wrong for me to propose to you on our first date?"

I pulled away from him and playfully punched his shoulder.

"Alright!" He chuckled. "I get it, I won't do it." He exposed his sharp teeth in a playful smirk. I had never seen him this frisky before, well, maybe in our senior year when we had sex for the first time. He was extra happy and very much sexual playful. He was like a secret spy on a mission to seduce me into bed and oh damned had he succeeded plenty of times. He knew my body inside out and exactly what would push me over the ledge of no returning on sex. "That is, if you don't want me to propose."

I giggled and playfully swatted his ass, ushering him inside of my apartment. "Be careful with what you say or you might sleep on the couch tonight." I did not have any plans of sharing a bed with him. I knew if we would share a bed, we would sleep together and I'm not ready to take that step again. It was just fun giving him a little slim chance of hope just for him to end up on the couch. Maybe we would make out a little before we went to bed. I have missed those lips of his and we have some lost time to catch up on kissing.

He had made a mistake when he was drunk and high and I knew he would never have slept with her if he was sober. I love him and I hate what he did. If he plays his cards right, he might have me back in the apartment again at the end of the year.

EXTRA SCENE

Two years later.

I giggled madly as Soul pulled me forward with a large grin on his face. "We are really going to do this, aren't we?"

Soul nodded eagerly as he turned around and brought his lips on mine as he backed toward the building which is our destination. He kissed me quickly but did not hesitate to show me the love he holds toward me. "Getting cold feet?"

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck, his hands immediately latching onto my hips. "No, just wanted to make sure this is what you want." I rest my forehead on his as I angle my head. You never know with Soul, maybe he would feel like making out some more before we walked inside.

"Hell yes. You know the only part I care about is saying our vows and finally putting a ring on that gorgeous finger of yours." I was right. He angled his face and all he needed to do was lean down and a make out session would begin. In public. A little PDA had never killed anyone. "The question is, is this what you want? It was you who grabbed the ring and started to drag me toward the court house. Are you sure you don't want the big wedding? You know Tsubaki, Liz and Black*Star will flip out for us to sneak away and get married in secret. You know how Liz and Tsubaki have prepared themselves and burning the baby fat just so they would look good as bride's maids."

Oh how I wanted to rise and kiss him. He was adorable. "I just want to marry you already. I couldn't care about a big wedding and the dress and the cake. All I want is to get married and catch our plane to Rome."

His eyes lit up and I could detect hunger and tons of tons of love dancing in his red eyes. "Let's do this then." I seriously thought he was going to kiss me. Instead he pulled away and started to drag me. "Let's get married at the court house!"