Fear. It was what kept me up at night. Fear that my brother, who was born just an hour after me and the night said goodbye and the sun was rising, would be consumed by the sickness that had left him bedridden sometimes for days at a time. Fear about what would happen to our city, the inevitable civil war that was waiting to break out. Fear that my actions wouldn't be enough. But for what it was worth, I was willing to try.

The original plan was for my brother Benjamin to transfer to Dauntless, and I would transfer to Erudite. He had studied the factionless fighting, learning their methods. I had listened to the Erudites in school having discussions, taking notes inconspicuously when I could, and reading them at night. However, when Jack became sick, our plans were switched. He showed me how to fight, I taught him about different subjects. We taught each other how to pretend and blend in.

We accompanied each other to the Choosing ceremony in early May, arms linked and smiles on our faces. Choosing was easy. I gave Jack a hug before he went up, smiling reassuringly at him.

"Don't study too hard," I quipped quietly, then let go of him as he made his way up on the stage.

Joining our adopted factions was going to be harder, we knew. Most Amity went to Abnegation, Candor even. Erudite and Dauntless were more exclusive, they were harder to survive in. But I was prepared. I knew the sort of looks that I would get, and I internalized my feelings of anxiety and inadequacy and smiled instead, taking the band-aid from the young Dauntless boy who offered it to me, taking a seat in the front row and holding my head high.

Running was easy. Jumping into moving train cars was not, however.

"Whoa, that was quite an entrance, sunshine!" A female voice said from under me.

"Oh, sorry! So sorry!" I got up, looking down to see a Dauntless-born girl with fiery red hair cut down to her temple.

"It's fine, Amity, really," she got up and stuck out her hand, smiling. "My name is Kiernan."

I flicked her hand away and instead went in for a hug. "So nice to meet you," I said, rubbing her back. "I'm Victoria."
"Well, that... That was a hug!" Kiernan says, flattening her hair, which stuck out cutely in different directions. "Yeah, sorry. It's kind of a habit," I sighed. Before I could continue, Kiernan looked out of the car.

"It's almost time to jump." I looked out as well, seeing nothing but open space. "Jump?" I asked. "Yeah, theres gonna be a building coming up. Watch me, run from back here-" she stepped back in the car, "-and run out. Lock your knees and try to make yourself roll when you land so that you don't get hurt too bad. The first jump is always the hardest!"

I watch as Kiernan stepped back, and got ready to run. "See you on the roof, sunshine!" Kiernan disappeared into the sun, and before I could give myself a chance to hesitate, I repeated her actions, her words swirling in my mind. Gathering my skirt, I ran out of the train car and into the open air.

We all start somewhere.

I was the second person to jump, right after a Candor transfer. I felt Kiernan pat my back as I walked forward, making me smile a little. I had decided, once I laid eyes on him, that I would not make eye contact with Eric. I didn't want to ever get on his bad side. I kept my eyes straight ahead, and gathered up my long skirt as I stepped up on the ledge. Looking down, I saw a dark hole. I closed my eyes briefly, not wanting to take a long time, and looked up at the clear blue sky. Still looking up, I took a step forward, and fell into nothing.

"I don't know how I'm going to put up with wearing so much black," I mumbled to Kiernan as we made our way into the lunchroom. Sure, I was comfortable, wearing black jeans and a dark grey sweater, but all the dark colors just bummed me out a little.

"Well, I sure don't know what you mean," Kiernan said, smiling.

Once we reached the entrance, I saw Four, who would be training us. "Uh, give me one second," I said, turning to Kiernan. She nodded nonchalantly. "Sure, I'll be right over there," she pointed to a table.

"Okay, see you in a bit." I walked over to Four, who himself was making his way over to a table. "Four, hey," I walked beside him. He grunted. "I have some questions about the, uh, rules around here," I spoke, trying to keep up with him. "Rules, initiate?" Four sat down at an empty table. I sat down in front of him, hands on the table.

"Uh, yeah. For example, what are our boundaries in this building? Where can we and can't we go?"

"You," Four gets a plate from the middle of the table and begins to fill it with food, "go where ever you're supposed to go. Listen to those above you." He doesn't look at me once, making me stare at him more. I tilt my head to the side. "Okay, cool, what about-"

"You're still talking to me?" Four looks up, a clearly annoyed look on his face. I can feel something pass my body. Annoyance. I bite my tongue and raise an eyebrow. "Enjoy your lunch, sir," I smile sweetly at him and get up, walking towards Kiernan's table.

If there was something I was good at, it was being nice to people.

I was restless that night, sleeping for three hours then waking up for two, then sleeping until Four woke us up two hours after that. I have been here for less than a day, and I already missed the open air, the moonlight, the sound of crickets. I missed my home.

My group of transfer initiates was built of ten, four Candor, one Abnegation, four Erudite, and myself. Most of them seemed alright, except for two Candor boys and an Erudite girl who seemed to be teaming up. It didn't look good at all. As I was getting dressed, I caught the boy from Abnegation staring at me. I smiled at him and he quickly looked away.

"What's your name?" I asked, zipping up my jeans. "Matthew," he mumbled, looking down at his feet. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, which was right next to mine, already dressed.

"I'm Victoria. I'd hug you, but I don't think that's allowed here," I smiled at him. I threw on a black crew neck shirt and leaned down to get my boots from underneath the mattress.

"Really? I didn't think they had rules here," Matthew's mouth turned upward in a small smile.

"Wanna walk together to breakfast?" I asked him when I got my boots on.

"Yeah, I like being early to things," Matthew got up slowly and gave me an open smile. We were about the same height, his hair short and dark. His eyes were also dark, black almost, but on closer inspection I could see that they were just a deep rich dark brown. He had a couple of beauty marks on his face, some trailing down his neck and down to the rest of his body, I assume. He was pretty good looking.

"Hey, you wanna know what else? We should be friends," I told him, with a smile that must have made me look crazy. "You Amity sure do take friendliness to the extreme, don't you?" Matthew smiled again. I shrugged. "Its nice to be nice. Its even nicer to have friends."

"You will begin training today. You will fight each other two days from now. Rankings will be put up each week, final rankings for this stage will be up in a month. After stage one, the bottom two initiates will be cut. You will be trained separate from the Dauntless-born but ranked together. Any questions?" Eric's voice boomed around the huge training room.

Dark and brooding seemed to be the preferred aesthetic around here, and our trainers were no exception.

"Good. Partner up, start warming up!" No one moved, and as soon as I saw Eric was going to open his mouth again, I grabbed Matthew's hand and we walked away from the group. I heard the other initiates follow suit, and soon enough every pair had their own space and light chatter began to fill the room.

"What do you think of him?" Matthew said, his eyes flicking to Eric. We sat down on the floor. I spread my legs and began to stretch; Matthew began to follow me.

"He seems alright. I mean, I don't really think I was expecting anything different." I crossed my legs butterfly style, and was pleased when Matthew did the same.

"I like his whole look. He's actually handsome, I think. I wonder if he was a transfer?"

Matthew snorted. "I doubt it. Guy looks like he's been born and bred here. And isn't this sort of a shock to your system? I mean, at Abnegation we'd see Dauntless guards every few weeks. They'd barely go to Amity, right?"

"I have some friends who work at the fields beyond the fence and they have described them to be. Also the factionless... It just looks like what I had in mind," I got up, raising my arms up and stretching. "It feels so good to move. I barely slept last night, I thought I was going crazy," I said with a laugh.

"I want everyone running, now!" Eric's voice snapped me out of my relaxed mood. I felt tension seep into my shoulder blades. "Okay, Amity, let's run," Matthew sighed, getting up. I tied my hair up, "Let's go."