A/N: ok so this is my first ever attempt at any fanfiction or publishing anything or heck even writing. I realized that I should have put something rather important. so this has not been updated or added to, if youve already read it. I simply realized i needed a disclaimer. I own nothing. Not the Tim McGraw song nor the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. Wish I did, but sadly, I don't. :(
She left me.
I'm sitting on the bed in the playroom. Head in my hands. Tears streaming down my face.
She left me.
Why couldn't I just give her more like she asked. Why am I so fucked up. Fifty shades of fucked up. That's what I constantly told her. It's so true. I mean if I wasn't then I could have given her more.
She left me.
She told me she loves me. After I belted her and she yelled at me, she could still tell me she loves me. Why couldn't I say it back? Even if I felt I was lying I could still have said it. Maybe then she would have stayed.
She left me.
Would she have stayed if I said it back? Or would she have ripped my heart out by still leaving? I guess I'll never know. The tears keep coming
She'll leave me again.
She's upset over today. My staying with Leila and leaving Ana to her friend. She's demanding answers. Answers I don't want to give.
She'll leave me again.
I can't tell her I fuck and beat little brown haired girls because they remind me of the crack whore.
She'll leave me again.
I hear myself tell her. See the shock and horror in her eyes and on her face. She's breathing faster. Looking like she wants to run away from me. I start to panic.
She'll leave me again.
She turns to walk away. No! She can't leave me again! I'm kneeling. In Sub position. She looks on in horror.
She'll leave me again.
She's begging me to get up, she has to command it. I'm her Sub. She holds all the control. She has to command it.
She'll leave me again.
She commands me to look at her. She's crying. No Ana, don't cry my love. Please don't cry. I'm crying enough for both of us. We continue to cry as we hold each other in a grip that screams of never letting go.
She's leaving me.
I called her stupid. I demeaned her. I'm going to be a father. A great gift and I demeaned the woman giving that to me. What have I done?!
She's leaving me.
Sawyer called. She's sick and going home. What have I done to her? I tried to apologize but she wouldn't hear it. I don't blame her at all.
She's leaving me.
Sawyer called again. Ana snuck out of the apartment! I got a call from the bank asking for authorization on a large cash withdrawal. She confirmed, she's leaving me.
She's leaving me.
Welch called. Hyde is out! Ana! I have to find her! I can't let him hurt her! Oh God don't let him hurt her or our baby! Please let me find her!
She's leaving me.
We were too late. She won't wake up! Why won't she wake up?! Mom says she's fine, she's just healing. She needs the rest for her to heal. Please Ana. Please wake up. I lay my head down on her bed and cry.
He's coming.
Ana didn't leave me. She's here with me in a new home and we're expecting a son soon. I'm terrified but excited at the same time.
He's coming.
Ana wakes me. Says it time. Holy Fuck, it's time! I start to panic. She grabs my face and kisses me. The panic ebbs. I call Taylor and set everything into motion.
He's coming.
We head to the hospital. She's in pain and its killing me. I hate seeing her in pain. No more babies. I can't see her like this again. At the moment she agrees.
He's coming.
We've been here for hours. Dr. Greene says something is wrong. They're rushing her to the OR. Emergency C-section. I'm being told to put on scrubs and not to worry.
He's coming.
He's coming. They've cut open Ana's lower abdomen and will pull him out. I'm afraid. He's out! What's happening. Dr. Greene says she's bleeding too much! No! Ana! I'm crying, please don't leave me.
He's here.
I hear my son. Crying. He's being handed to me and I'm ushered out of the OR. Please God don't take her from us! Please!
He's here.
I look at the beautiful little boy in my arms. Our Teddy Bear. They brought him to Ana's room once he was clean and his tests were done. He's perfect.
He's here.
We're waiting on news of Ana. She has to be ok. She has to help me be a good father. She has to stay and love us. Please don't take her. Let her stay.
He's here.
She's ok! Dr. Greene says she ruptured something. I'm not listening, I'm only hearing "she's ok" on a continuing loop. They roll her bed into our private room on the maternity ward.
He's here.
I lay next to Ana who's finally awake. Teddy on her chest, them both in my arms. Life is perfect. We're crying tears of joy. How is it possible life can be so perfect.
I don't know why they say grown men don't cry, we cry. We cry tears of sadness and tears of happiness. It's ok for a grown man to cry.
Ana tells me she wants another baby. My tears are tears of joy and laughter.
The end.