Gamer4 in. Hope you guys had a happy Easter- I know I did! Kind of surreal, coming up on the end of this story- anything I have to say, I'll say in the endnotes. Alright, let's get going- Mario Mario and the Bottle of Lightning... final chapter.

Disclaimer: Raise one hand to the sky, raise them both, lift them high, and through the darkness we will stand! The time to start is now, and I can show you how! Come with me and the world will be even bigger than ever before!

Chapter XXXV

Mario Begins

In the years that followed, the next few days were days that Mario never really felt up to remembering. There were flashes, sure, but this was, without a doubt, the worst ending to one of his stories yet, not giving him much incentive to attempt to push past the mental barrier he seemed to have constructed. It was a haze of despair, but probably the worst part of all was when he'd had to confront Cranky and Diddy. He'd expected them to be furious with him, particularly Cranky, but this didn't seem to be the case at all.

"There's nothing you could have done, Mario," Diddy shook his head forlornly, his hat pulled down over his eyes. "The way we hear it, you already did everything you could."

"He'll always have a place in my hall of fame," Cranky sounded more somber than ever Mario had heard him, as he held the ape's tie in his hand. "I never said it to you, boy, but you were always a cut above the rest... and so are you, pyro. You've got a flaming spirit in you, son... never lose it."

Mario was on the verge of choking as he produced the sack of gold he'd won from the Games. "Here- take this. DK should have been the one to take it."

"No, boy, no," Cranky shook his head and waved a hand. "I've already got more gold than I know what to do with- you'd be doing this old man a disservice if you gave it to me. I'm sure that idiot grandson of mine would want you to have it- the only rival that could ever be worthy of him."

XXXX

Mario was lonely up in the dorm throughout the rest of that day- not that he was complaining. He needed some time alone- time to think about what had happened. The residents of the mansion were buzzing with various theories about what, exactly, had occurred in the labyrinth, and while Mario was grateful to the Master Hand and his comrades for doing what they could to keep people from trying to interrogate him, he still felt that being alone was the best option at this juncture. Gnawing at the back of his mind was a lingering worry- Glados, frankly, couldn't have picked a worse time to publish an article about how insane he was- how many would prefer to believe that over the truth- that the entire world was now in incalculable danger?

"Mom went home," came a voice from the door- Mario looked up to see Link entering. "Had a debate with the Master Hand first, though."

"About what?" Mario asked, raising his eyebrows- he'd never have envisioned such a scene.

"It didn't get too heated," Link clarified. "She wanted him to give you the all-clear to come right to Ordon Cottage from the Smash Bros. this summer- I was on board, of course, but he seems to want you to go to the Smiths' first, spend some time there."

"Did he say why?" Mario asked forlornly- the idea of returning to the Smiths' had rarely been less appealing.

"No- I'm sure he has his reasons- some weird, obscure reasons that would only make sense to him, but reasons anyways," Link muttered- he clearly wasn't all that happy with the idea either.

Several others tried to approach Mario over those days, but he couldn't stomach the idea of talking to them- not Lucina and her crew, not the other former contestants, not anyone from the other schools, not even the Faron twins- the only three Mario felt capable of really communicating with were Link, Zelda, and Crazy.

"Mez be glad you be on da down here, Marioz," Crazy greeted him one day, pulling him into a very handy hug. On the inside, he prepared bucket-sized glasses of Mountain Dew. "You be here in da Nick o- time! Ammy just be goin' back to da sub!"

"Ammy?" Link asked.

"Am... Am... Amaterasu!" Crazy finally enunciated. "Dat be hard ta say, so mez just be callin' her Ammy."

"So you've made up, huh?" Zelda asked slyly.

"Ah, me no knows what you be talkin' bout," Crazy waved aside. "We be tick as teeves all year!"

Crazy turned to Mario. "So... you be doin' good, Marioz?"

"Pretty well," Mario nodded.

"Mez gotta call bull on dat one," Crazy objected. "Dere no way you all good afta what be goin' on. But youz no worry- everyting gonna be 'kay faraday in da end. Da truth ish... me knows he be comin' back."

"What do you mean?" Mario's eyebrows flew up.

"Me no be lyin'!" Crazy nodded. "Me call it tree yeas ago! Youz rememba- 'Some say he deads. Bubkiss, in mies opinion. I no tink he had enough humanity in him teh die.'"

"Yeah, I remember you saying something like that," Mario nodded. "I just didn't realize you'd remember."

"Mez be crazy, not 'tupid," Crazy pointed out. "'Sides, stupid is stupid does, brudda be sayin'. Brudda great guy- he knowz what we gotta do stop Grate Darkness get back ta powa- long we got brudda, every little ting gonna be alright."

Mario, however, was still depressed. "I wish my name had never come out of that bottle- I wish none of this had happened."

He felt a large weight on his shoulder, and realized Crazy was placing himself there. "Dat what anyone go true tings like dis be tinkin'. But we no change past- all we choose is what we do wit what life trow at us. Listen heres- life give lemons, you no gotta make lemonade- make life takem back! Throw dem right back- make life regret da day it be givin' ya lemons- getcha a combustible lemon n' trow it right in life's face!"

"That sounds like my philosophy, alright," Mario gave a weak smile. "So... the Word on the Wind says the Master Hand's giving you and Ammy an important job over the summer- care to spill the beans?"

"Course not!" Crazy shook himself. "Tip top secrets! Mez rememba what happen last time mies be given' way info brudda tell mez keep secret!"

"But it has something to do with Tabuu, right?"

Crazy flinched, then spoke in an unnecessarily loud voice, "Hey, buddies, dere still one Ultimate Chimaery left- wanna go visit?"

XXXX

As mentioned before, never before had Mario been so reluctant to return to the Smiths- packing up his stuff, knowing that when he unpacked, it would be in Peach Creek- almost drove him to hysterics much more effectively than any of the trials had. The last feast of the year was bound to be a nightmare- usually a time for celebration, for awarding the Smash Bros. Trophy to whichever group had earned the most points- but he could only imagine what would happen that afternoon.

Mario braced himself as he, Link, and Zelda entered the Dining Hall- to find it decked out entirely in black. Where the symbol of the winning group would normally be featured was a crest consisting of a large circle with two large, stylized letters within- DK. It didn't take a genius to tell what this was for.

Simon was at the staff table, looking weaker than Mario had ever seen him- though he had to slap himself, reminding himself that he never had seen the real Simon Belmont before. He wasn't surprised to see that he was extremely twitchy, jumping if anyone nearby so much as asked for the salt- Mario couldn't blame him. After the year he'd had, he doubted if Simon Belmont would ever be able to trust anyone ever again.

There was a haunted look in Wolf's eyes as well- Mario deduced that whatever the Master Hand's job for the anthro had been, it wasn't a pleasant one. The Master Chief was absent altogether- Mario wasn't sure he'd ever lay eyes on him again, and was even less certain whether he even cared. Ammy was still there, however, taking a new seat next to Crazy, rather than Master.

Speaking of the Master Hand, he was rising up. "Today," he spoke over the dead silence of the Hall, "we acknowledge a truly terrible loss. I have a great deal to say to you, but it must, of course, begin with this acknowledgment." He lifted his glass into the air. "To Donkey Kong."

Around the Hall, just about every student, from every school and group, stood as well, raising their glasses- Mario eyed Lucina, her crew, Kratos, Maya Fey and Lucas Ikari from Hal, Shulk and Fiora from Retro... "To Donkey Kong!"

Finally, his eyes found Pauline- nobody in the Hall looked even remotely happy, but she seemed the worst off- her eyes were red as though she' d been crying non-stop since that final trial.

The Master Hand continued. "If one ever needed to describe the virtues of being in Hal, they need use no words- simply quietly point to Donkey Kong. A good smasher, a hard worker, one who valued fair play, and who would defend his friends no matter the cost. No matter how distantly you may have known him, his death has affected you all- and so, I believe you have the right to know the truth behind it. Donkey Kong was murdered... by Tabuu."

Once again, Mario felt that all-too-familiar wave of panic ripple through the crowd. "The government," the Master Hand continued his speech, "would rather I tell you otherwise- that his death was down to an accident within the labyrinth. However, I could never speak such a falsehood- to make it sound as though Donkey Kong's death was down to his own stupidity is an insult to him- to who he was, to the memory of him, his friends, and his deeds. Donkey Kong did not die by stumbling over his own shoelaces- he died the way he lived, protecting one he had come to consider a friend- Mario Mario."

Mario turned red- he'd been wondering if his name would come up. "That Mario Mario sits here with us today is down to the lengths Donkey Kong went to to protect him in his time of need. He returned the favor by risking life and limb to return Donkey Kong's body to his family- in the way that Donkey Kong embodies everything it means to be Hal, Mario Mario embodies everything that makes a good Nintendo.

"In this time, I am reminded of the purpose for the Console Games in the first place- to bring us all together and form bonds between us- bonds unbreakable even by the toughest steel. Considering Tabuu once more walks among us, these bonds will be more important in the coming months than ever before. Difficult and dangerous times are ahead, make no mistake. We must remember now that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts- never has it been more apparent to me. True, we all come from different places, in many different forms, speaking different tongues, but in the end, our hearts beat as one.

"One of these days, you may find yourself forced to make a choice- a choice between what is right, and what is easy. If, one day, you find yourself in that situation, remember Donkey Kong, the ape who was kind, brave, honest, and true... right until the very end."

XXXX

And so it came to be that the school year finally came to a close. Mario was all ready to leave the mansion, along with Link and Zelda. It was a beautiful summer's day as they headed down the steps and began making tracks towards Kurain... and the Great Fox.

As they made their way, they heard a call- "Hey, slick, you didn't think you were getting out of here without a goodbye, did you?"

Snake and Otacon stood before them, Snake taking the lead, Otacon lingering nervously in the background, as ever. "We're just about to shove off in the good ol' Elsa," Snake noted. "But this was my last year- graduating this summer, then we'll see if I might get a job over here in your country- be sure to say 'hi' if you ever see me, okay?"

"O... okay," Zelda mumbled under her breath, trying to avert her eyes from Snake's glorious washboard abs.

Snake's smile disappeared. "Look, Mario... sorry about what happened with the Kong- really, I am. I know that pain- the pain of losing someone close to you. He was a good guy- I'll always remember how he treated the rest of us- not a single difference, even though we were from a different school."

"Thanks," Mario nodded forlornly.

"I'd say my piece for him, but I think Snake just said it all," put in a voice from behind them- they turned to see Sonic approaching. "Thought I'd stop by and say goodbye, too. Hey, Snake, hope there are no hard feelings about the... well, you know..."

"Oh, of course not," Snake shook his head. "I know the situation- it wasn't your own will." Nevertheless, he seemed a little more urgent than usual when he turned to Otacon and said, "Well, we should get back to the Elsa- she's about to push off."

As they left, Mario snapped his fingers. "Hey, Sonic, that reminds me- how are you and your school gonna fly the halo back home? Without the Master Chief, I mean?"

"Oh, don't worry about us," Sonic smirked. "The Chief didn't actually do any piloting himself- he just kinda gave the orders we could have easily figured out on our own."

"What's gonna happen to Mycrowsoft without him?" Mario asked.

"Well, our school didn't hinge on him nearly as much as this place seems to hinge on the old Hand- we'll do just fine. We always have."

"Sonic," Zelda spoke up quietly. "I..."

"Ah, you don't have to say it," Sonic shook his head. "I think we both knew from the beginning it wouldn't work out- the whole thing was too similar to... you know, that one game. I'll carry on- though feel free to stay in touch, alright?"

"Will do," Zelda smiled weakly.

The teapot whistle sounded, and Mario looked around in surprise- but Link didn't look angry, more like he was struggling to hold something back- which he failed in. "Can I get your autograph?!" he burst out.

Sonic blinked, but gave that trademark grin of his as he took a pen from Zelda and inscribed his name on the inside of Link's floppy green hat.

The sun continued to shine overhead as the Great Fox lifted off. Mario couldn't help but notice that Zelda seemed to be in a particularly good mood about something- when the snack cart came around, Zelda footed the bill for their usual end-of-the-schoolyear snack feast. Mario was about to ask her when she produced that morning's issue of the Fourside Tribune and began flicking through it. Resigning himself to the worst, he asked, "Alright, what's the robot got to say today?"

"Oh, nothing at all," Zelda smiled. "Funnily enough, she hasn't printed anything since hte day of the trial. In fact," that smirk was creeping out her companions more and more by the second... "I don't think she'll be writing anything for a good, long while!"

Mario blinked- his usually composed friend was on the verge of laughing maniacally. Link asked for him, though- "Okay, Zelda, spill it- what are you talking about?"

"I've got her number!" Zelda's smirk widened. "I've figured her all out, and if she tries to pull any of her usual bull ever again, she's gonna find herself in a nice cell in Subspace!"

"I can tell you've been wanting to tell us all this for a while," Mario noted.

"Oh, yeah," Zelda nodded. "Didn't think it was right to do it earlier- you know... but now, it's about time it all came out!"

"More brilliant word choice," Mario noted. "So, what's your conclusion?"

"I got the idea back when you called the Dark Trio Bud, Dud, and Spud," Zelda recalled. Smiling at the raised eyebrows of her male companions, she elaborated. "Spud- you know, potatoes! Thinking about them made me realize... every time we were finding out about something Glados was finding out about too, there was a potato nearby! By that fountain where Crazy confessed to Ammy, in my towel when Sonic was asking me to Mobius, when Mario passed out in Lucario's class-" She smiled at their gasps- she was right.

"But... but what does that mean?" Mario asked, bewildered beyond all description.

"Well, not all sliders turn into animals," Zelda explained. "It's rare, but some can turn into other forms... like, for instance..." She produced a small jar with water and a couple holes, "a potato!"

"You're smegging me!" Mario exclaimed. "That's not- that can't be-"

"But it is," Zelda smirked. "Just look!"

She turned the jar a bit to allow the potato to roll around, revealing a mechanical eye of sorts pressed in to one side- currently red in abject fury. "How... how long has she been in there?"

"Oh, ever since I caught her while you were with Nurse Tessie."

"That was a week ago!" Mario gasped.

"Oh, don't worry, she'll survive as a potato does- as far as the confinement- small price to pay for everything she's been doing, wouldn't you say?"

Mario and Link gaped- Zelda could be downright scary when she wanted.

"I'll let her out after I get home from Seatac," Zelda explained, leaning back with that smirk still on her face. "I've given her specific instructions- she's going to take a one-year sabbatical. One article in that time, particularly of the defaming variety, and I go straight to the government with this- she never went through the proper procedure to do this, and she's been misusing it- that's worth a few years of prison time, at least. After that, if she can stick to a year of writing without her usual BS, we can go our separate ways- though, of course, one hint of trouble, and the government gets to know her dirty little secret!"

"Well, well, well, homy," came a derisive voice from the hall. "I guess wollywogs can solve a mystery or two! Not that it matters, what with the Great Darkness back and all."

The Golden Trio closed their eyes, then slowly turned to see the Dark Trio in the doorway. "So, the status quo is back to normal- for now," Bowser was smirking. "Big, fat, Din-loving deal- like it'll matter once he takes over."

Mario slowly slipped on his hat, and could see Link reaching for his sword as Zelda slipped on her gloves. Bowser, too busy gloating, didn't notice. "He'll come for you, first, dogs! Well, I say first, but, of course, that was really Donk-"

SLAM, SLAM, BAM!

Fire flew, wind tore, swords struck, and stars were spit. When the dust settled, Mario blinked to see the Dark Trio laying, battered, burned, and broken on the floor. On the other side were the twin puffballs, chests still heaving, unusual looks of animosity on their faces.

"We were just stopping by to pay a visit when we heard these winnicotts," Kirby explained. "Didn't care much for what we were hearing when we did..."

"I just swallowed up Wario and spit him out," Meta noted, a slight look of disgust in his eyes. "What did you do, Kirb?"

"Stole Ganon's power and smashed his own face in with it," Kirby recalled- looking, they could see he had adopted Ganondorf's wild red hair and inverted unibrow. He crouched down and a star flew out of the top of his head, returning him to normal.

"Well, there's an empty compartment next to us- what say we load them in there?" Meta suggested. "Don't want to tarnish our trip back home too much..."

From there on out, it was a relatively peaceful flight- Zelda returned Glados to her bag, not feeling the need to explain the whole thing again to the twins, who were more interested in the game of extreme poker they'd started with Mario and Link in any case.

Mario looked out the window at one point, still burning with curiosity- even if they refused him, the worst they could say was no...

Turning, he asked, "So, you ever gonna tell us who it was you were blackmailing?"

"Oh, don't even worry about it," Meta shook his head. "It doesn't even matter anymore- we threw in the towel on that one a while back."

But, emboldened by Mario's questioning, Link and Zelda joined in, pestering them until they finally surrendered.

"Okay, okay, fine, you win!" Kirby raised his hands in surrender. "It was Ballyhoo."

"Ballyhoo?" Mario raised a lone eyebrow. "You're not saying he was-"

"No, no, it had nothing to do with that gongshow," Meta denied. "Believe us- that guy doesn't have enough brains to read a Dr. Seuss book, let alone get caught up in all that smeg."

"Then what-"

"For you to know," Kirby put on a mystical voice, "we must take you back through time, to the moment that we met up with him at the Grand Prix..."

"Two puffballs made a bet with the big mouth that Germany would win, despite Mobius's seeker getting the smash ball," Meta continued with that odd, mystical voice.

"The big mouth wrote these puffballs a check, but when they went to cash it, it bounced back in their faces..." Kirby concluded.

"Maybe it was a mistake!" Zelda put in fairly. "I'm sure he didn't mean to-"

"Such is what these puffballs first thought," Meta agreed. "They tried to contact the big mouth, and get a better check this time around, only for him to ignore their very existence... every time these puffballs made an effort to approach him or write him, he always had some excuse up his sleeve..."

"Until one day, the smile vanished from Big Mouth's face, and he said that the bet was null and void, because the puffballs had been underage at the time when the bet was placed..."

"The puffballs demanded that, in that case, their money be returned..."

"But Big Mouth said that he was doing the puffballs a favor by teaching them not to get caught up in such shady business, and to make the lesson stick, he wouldn't return a single coin," Meta concluded.

The teapot whistle began once more- this time, it really was anger building up in Link. "But... but that was all the money you had!"

"Your telling us," Kirby nodded. "But, as it turns out, Ballyhoo's got his comeuppance anyways- the reason he couldn't ever pay us back? He's got himself caught up in this big web of gambling debts- owes a few hundred gold coins more than he can pay."

"He had to borrow a bunch of money from the goombas to pay it all off, but now he can't pay them back, either," Meta agreed.

"And, of course, goombas aren't nearly as nice about this kind of stuff as we are- they've been tailing him all year, too, until he finally tried to get off the hook with them by..." Kirby almost broke down laughing. "I don't know if I can even say it with a straight face..."

"Why? What did he do?" Mario asked, intrigued.

"He... he placed a bet on you to win!" The twin puffballs broke down entirely. "Said if you won the Games, they had to call the whole thing off- but they're not much nicer than he is when it comes to this stuff- they said you tied with DK, when he was betting on you to win alone."

"So that's why he was so intent on helping me this year," Mario rubbed his eyes. "Well, that's that mystery solved."

Further conversation was interrupted by a voice speaking overhead- "Now arriving in Seatac Airport- please prepare yourselves for landing."

XXXX

When they finally felt the bump that meant they were free to leave, Mario spoke up. "Link, Zelda... go on ahead. The pyro has some business with the puffballs."

Everyone else raised their eyebrows, but Link and Zelda shrugged, grabbed their carry-on, and headed out.

"What is it, Mario?" the twins asked as one. Mario reached into his pocket and produced that accursed bag of gold coins.

"Take it," he said, brandishing it at them. "I didn't really earn it- I only got to the end of the labyrinth because of DK."

"Mario-" Kirby gasped. "This... this is..."

"Ten thousand gold coins, I know," Mario nodded. "Take it and open up that joke shop you're always talking about- it doesn't take Zelda to connect the dots and realize that's what you wanted the money from Ballyhoo for."

"But... Mario, we can't just take-" Meta started, but Mario cut him off.

"Yes, yes you flipping can- I don't need this money, and I don't particularly want it, either. If you can't take it as a gift, consider it an investment instead- I'm not giving it to you, I'm buying something with my money- to me, this is just a bunch of metal, but what I could really use is a few good joke items- try to get this story back on course with humor. There's some seriously dark stuff ahead, and I think I speak for Gamer4 and everyone else when I say we'll be relying heavily on you to lighten the mood. So take it."

"Mario-"

"Take it, or I'll immolate both of you!" Mario raised a handful of fire. "If all that still isn't enough, then do me a favor- take some of it down to Toadette's and get Link a decent set of fancy clothes- I don't think he can stand another year with that Rimmer outfit."

Finally, the twins swallowed, reached out and took the gold.

Back out on the platform, Mario rejoined Link and Zelda.

"What was all that about?" Link asked promptly.

"Nothing, just discussing this series's future," Mario shrugged.

Zelda nodded. "Yeah... I remember the past few years, we thought this would just be a light-hearted story with some laughs and a few light-hearted jabs at the source material, but with this... everything's going to change now, isn't it?"

"I'd say that's a distinct possibility," Mario nodded as they headed towards the gate back to the muggle world. "I guess we'll just take Crazy's advice- throw ourselves into the future and deal with what comes as it does."

XXXX

Once more, it feels so surreal to finally come up on the end of this story- I'm guessing many of you already realize why I was so eager to wrap it up on this particular day, but if not, let me point it out- it is now exactly one year to the day since we set out on this journey together. A more fitting wrap-up date I couldn't think of, especially considering that this chapter marks the end, not only of this story, but of the series at-

Yeah, no one's buying it this time, are they? Alright, I'll wrap up the end-notes, get the credits rolling, and, just as a bonus, give you guys a little flash-forward to the next story. As far as that story goes, I don't know exactly when we'll get started on that one- whether it'll be a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months- hard to say. It depends on various factors, but I would say you can at least expect it by the end of June- so, yeah, sometime between the end of this week and the end of June. Big window of time, I know, but I definitely hope to see you guys there- I looked forward to this story a lot, enjoyed writing it even more than I thought I would, and regret nothing now that it's reached its conclusion, but I'm actually looking forward to the next story even more. Why? Well, I'll explain then- give another reason for people to come back, if they weren't planning on it already. Okay, enough end-notes- let's get to the credits and a quick preview. Until next time, please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, flames, not so much... Gamer4 out.

PS: In the credits, you'll see a few characters credited as CF- that stands for Canon Foreigner. Essentially, I didn't make the character- they are from a video game- but they aren't playing any actual role from the original story, kind of starring here as... themselves. Like Lucina, and, of course, the Slender Man.

End Credits

(In order of Appearance)

Markiplier (Markiplier) as Frank Bryce

George Locke II (Earthbound 0) as Tom Riddle Sr.

Maria Locke (Earthbound 0) as Mary Riddle

George Locke I (Earthbound 0) as Thoms Riddle

George Locke III (Kinda-sorta Earthbound 0) as Tom Riddle Jr.

Mumkhar (Xenoblade) as Peter Pettigrew/Wormtail

Tabuu (Super Smash Bros. Brawl) as Voldemort

Dry Bones (Super Mario Bros. 3) as Nagini

Adrian Andrews (Ace Attorney) as Bertha Jorkins

Mario (Super Mario Bros.) as Harry Potter

Link (Legend of Zelda) as Ron Weasley

Rob (NES peripheral, Mario Kart DS, Super Smash Bros.) as Percy Weasley

Kate Smith (OC) as Petunia Dursley

John Smith (OC) as Vernon Dursley

Bill Smith (OC) as Dudley Dursley

Riki (Xenoblade) as Pigwidgeon

Parakarry (Paper Mario) as Hedwig

Bootler (Paper Mario) as Errol

Flurrie (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door) as Hermes

Meta Knight (Kirby) as George Weasley

Kirby (Kirby) as Fred Weasley

Rusl Faron (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) as Arthur Weasley

Linebeck (Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass) as Charlie Weasley

Midna (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) as Bill Weasley

Uli Faron (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) as Molly Weasley

Peach (Super Mario Bros.) as Ginny Weasley

Zelda (Legend of Zelda) as Hermione Granger

Simba (named for one of my cats) as Crookshanks

Meowth (Pokemon) as Crookshanks

Cranky Kong (Donkey Kong Country) as Amos Diggory

Donkey Kong (Donkey Kong, Country, Mario Sports games) as Cedric Diggory

Gaignun Kukai (Xenosaga) as Basil

Gaignun Kukai Jr. (Xenosaga) as Basil's partner

Kyon (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya) as Mr. Roberts

Otacon (Metal Gear Solid) as Gabrielle Delacour

Solid Snake (Metal Gear) as Fleur Delacour

Diddy Kong (Donkey Kong Country) as Seamus Finnigan

Ness (EarthBound) as Dean Thomas

Captain Falcon (F-Zero) as Oliver Wood

Lucas (Mother 3) as Ernie Macmillan

Duster (Mother 3) as Justin Finch-Fletchley

Kumatora (Mother 3) as Angelina Johnson

Turner Grey (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations) as Bode

M. C. Ballyhoo (Mario Party 8) as Ludo Bagman

Manfred von Karma (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney) as Barty Crouch Sr.

President Shacho (Pikmin 2) as CF

Pikmin 2 Ship (Pikmin 4) as CF

Birdo (Super Mario Bros. 2) as Winky

Olimar (Pikmin) as Cornelius Fudge (cool version)

Dickson (Xenoblade) as Bulgarian Minister

Viridi (Kid Icarus: Uprising) as Narcissa Malfoy

Bowser (Super Mario Bros.) as Draco Malfoy

Ghirahim (Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword) as Lucius Malfoy

Main party from Xenogears (Xenogears) as Irish Quidditch team

Various Sonic the Hedgehog characters (Sonic the Hedgehog) as Bulgarian Quidditch team

Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog) as Victor Krum

Slender Man (Slender Man mythos) as CF

Glados (Portal) as Rita Skeeter

Roy (Fire Emblem: Binding Blade) as Sirius Black

Luigi (Super Mario Bros.) as Neville Longbottom

Ganondorf (Legend of Zelda) as Vincent Crabbe

Wario (Wario Ware, Wario Land) as Gregory Goyle

Crazy Hand (Super Smash Bros.) as Rubeus Hagrid

Boo (Super Mario Bros.) as Peeves the Poltergeist

Samus Aran (Metroid) as Minerva McGonagall

Pikachu (Pokemon) as Filius Flitwick

Hero's Shade (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) as Bloody Baron

Rauru (Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time) as Fat Friar

Pit (Kid Icarus) as Sir Nicholas De-Mimsy Porpington (Nearly Headless Nick)

Pichu (Pokemon Gold/Silver) as Colin Creevey

Plusle (Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald) as Dennis Creevey

Pauline (Donkey Kong, Mario vs. Donkey Kong) as Cho Chang

Master Hand (Super Smash Bros.) as Albus Dumbledore

F.L.U.D.D. (Super Mario Sunshine) as Sorting Hat

Simon Belmont (Castlevania) as Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody

Rosalina (Super Mario Galaxy) as Fat Lady

Teddy (Earthbound Beginnings) as Lee Jordan

Proton Jon (Proton Jon) as Salazar Slytherin

Lucina (Fire Emblem: Awakening) as CF

Robin (Fire Emblem: Awakening) as CF

Daisy (Super Mario Land, Mario sports games) as Pomona Sprout

Ilia (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) as Lavender Brown

Ultimate Chimaeras (Mother 3) as Blast-ended Skrewts

Lucario (Pokemon Diamond/Pearl) as Sybill Trelawney

Wolf O'Donnell (Star Fox) as Severus Snape

Captain Matthews (Xenosaga) as CF

Okami Amaterasu (Okami) as Olympe Maxime

Shion Uzuki (Xenosaga) as CF

KOSMOS KP-X (Xenosaga) as CF

Kratos (God of War) as CF

Yuna (Final Fantasy X) as CF

Maya Fey (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney) as Susan Bones

Waluigi (Mario sports games) as CF

Master Chief (Halo) as Igor Karkaroff

Shulk (Xenoblade) as CF

Captain Price (Call of Duty) as CF

Steve (Minecraft) as Poliokov

Mido (Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time) as Argus Filch

James Sunderland (Silent Hill 2) as CF

Dovahkiin (Elder Scrolls: Skyrim) as CF

Teddy (Earthbound Beginnings) as Lee Jordan

Vaati (Legend of Zelda: Minish Cap) as Marcus Flint

Paula Polestar (Earthbound) as Katie Bell

Ana (Earthbound Beginnings) as Alicia Spinnet

Reyn (Xenoblade) as CF

Ron Delite (Ace Attorney- Trials and Tribulations) as CF

Peasley (Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga) as CF

Mr. Game-and-Watch (Game-and-Watch series) as Mr. Ollivander

Sharla (Xenoblade) as Madam Rosmerta

Metal Gear (Metal Gear) as Swedish Short-Snout

Eggbot (Sonic the Hedgehog) as Welsh Green

King K. Rool (Donkey Kong Country) as Chinese Fireball

Ridley (Metroid) as Hungarian Horntail

Yoshi (Super Mario World) as Dobby

Erde Kaiser (Xenosaga) as CF

Red and Blue (Pokemon Red and Blue) as Magical Menagerie proprietors

Kay Faraday (Miles Edgeworth: Ace Attorney) as CF

Happy Mask Salesman (Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask) as Mr. Borgin

Chell (Portal) as CF

Juju (Xenoblade) as CF

Cody Hackins (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney) as CF

Aura Blackquill (Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies) as CF

Saria (Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time) as Parvati Patil

Ilia (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) as Lavender Brown

Professor Layton (Professor Layton) as Charity Burbage

Fiora (Xenoblade) as Roger Davies

Melia Antiqua (Xenoblade) as CF...?

Xel'lotath (Eternal Darkness) as Fridwulfa

Kjelle (Fire Emblem: Awakening) as Professor Grubbly-Plank

goombas (Super Mario Bros.) as goblins

Poe (Legend of Zelda) as Moaning Myrtle

Freddy and Luther (Freddy Fish) as CF

Mikau (Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask) as Merchieftan

Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney) as CF...?

Epona (Legend of Zelda) as Buckbeak

Loftwings (Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword) as hippogriffs

Franziska von Karma (Ace Attorney) as Barty Crouch Jr.

Whatevers (Mother 3) as nifflers

Andrew Ryan (Bioshock) as Cornelius Fudge (Winnicott version)

Wright (named after the aforementioned Phoenix Wright) as Fawkes

Ho-ohs (Pokemon) as phoenixes

FLUDD (Super Mario Sunshine) as Sorting Hat

Tome of Eternal Darkness (Eternal Darkness) as Pensieve

floows (Super Smash Bros.) as dementors

Judge (Ace Attorney) as CF

Winston Payne (Ace Attorney) as CF

Ares (God of War) as Antonin Dolohov

Oersted (Live A Live) as Evan Rosier

Cackletta (Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga) as Travers

Straybow (Live A Live) as Mulciber

Zant (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) as Rodolphus Lestrange

Magalor (Kirby's Return to Dreamland) as Rookwood

Veran (Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages) as Bellatrix Lestrange

Kahn and Karen Wong (Xenogears) as Frank and Alice Longbottom

Gato (Chrono Trigger) as CF

necromorph baby (Dead Space) as weakened Tabuu

Redd White (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney) as Mr. Goyle

Twinrova (Legend of Zelda) as Mr. Crabbe

Dahlia Hawothorne (Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations) as Macnair

Sarah and Jake Mario (OC) as Lily and James Potter

AND

? ? ? ? ? ? (? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?) as Dolores Umbridge

XXXX

Andrew Ryan strode through the Government building- there was only one destination on his mind. He had to get there quick...

He found the door he was looking for and swung it open- sure enough, the individual he'd been seeking sat there behind a desk. "It's time," he spoke. "The prophecies of old are coming to fruition- the Master Hand is moving against us, under the guise of attempting to fight the Great Darkness. Only one person can save us now... you know what you must do."

The smasher looked up over their desk, a nasty grin spreading across their face. Their lips parted, and they began to laugh. "Nwehehe... Nwehehe... NWEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

The Super Smash Bros. will return in...

Mario Mario and the Order of Philanthropy