Jealous Much Chapter Twenty

Deal or No Deal

As it turned out, the sign had neglected to mention one minor detail. The distance from Long Island to New York City was way, way, way too far. I'd been walking for a half hour or so, give or take a few minutes, when I came across another sign on the side of the road. In white lettering, it said NEW YORK CITY- 50 MILES, like it wanted to make it very clear that I would never reach the city without help. I groaned. With no memories, I had no idea what I could do to get to the city. No clue where any bus stops might be or a rest station. I didn't even know where in the city I needed to go. I was travelling blind.

My feet were killing me- I hadn't really moved much in the past few days. The ground seemed to unravel into the night, an endless track of grey asphalt and the occasional car part. I stumbled along the muddy verge, avoiding puddles that had the viscosity of oil, not water. With every step, my shoes squelched. The laces had come untied, but I didn't particularly care. To anyone passing by, I probably looked like another homeless kid, making his way to nowhere in particular to continue his particularly uninteresting life. The whack job in my head was silent. The only reason I could tell that she was still there was the unceasing pressure in the back of my skull, a mild headache that liked to encourage murder.

I checked my watch again. In the pale light, it read five past one. The band was battered and the plastic covering of the digital face was scratched badly, but it still worked, so I hadn't thrown it away back at Camp. Goosebumps popped up on my arms as a breeze rushed by, sending an unruly lock of hair flopping over my forehead. I brushed it away with the back of my hand. I sort of wished a car would pass by and I could hitchhike, but with my luck I'd end up with some serial killer. Just what I needed- dismemberment. Wind whistled through the pine forest along the road, making an eerie chorus of groans and moans. The rustling of branches was unnerving and this time my goosebumps weren't from the cool air.

Finally, I flopped down under a tall pine at the edge of the road. I had kept going for another hour until my feet were soaked with scummy, cold water and I felt like collapsing. Something had urged me to keep going for as long as possible, but I couldn't.I had to stop, at least for a moment. The bark of the tree was rough against my back, even through the windbreaker. If I shifted at all I could tell that I had leaned up against sap that had dripped down the trunk of the tree, but I could care less. A couple of cars had finally passed by, but they were going the opposite direction. I had watched silently as their headlights faded away through the next curve or over a hill.

I hadn't expected it to be this hard. I don't know what I had been thinking, but I was starting to conclude that I was probably crazy. My windbreaker was doing nothing to block the breeze that had been steadily stronger and I shivered constantly as I huddled against the tree. The cans of food were tempting, but I had neglected to bring a can opener and I had no knife. No weapons at all, actually, which seemed to be a very bad idea in this new world I had been dropped in. For all I knew, there was a pack of monsters with glowing eyes and claws the length of my body hiding two trees away.

I sighed. How had I gotten myself here? At some point, I had to have had a family. A mom and a dad, maybe a little sibling. A brother that I could play ball with in a big yard of green grass while my dad would watch and my mom would call us inside for a snack, offering cookies and hugs and Band-Aids for the scraped knees I'd have from sliding to catch the ball. Or maybe I had a little sister that I protected and took her to slumber parties with her friends and had tea parties with stuffed animals. If I had a sister, I'd dress up in a knight's costume and she'd be the queen of the world. I'd just help her get there.

Ha! I am the queen of the world!

The little headache suddenly became much, much worse.

You are my assistant, little mortal. My vassal. You have sworn yourself to my service.

"No," I mumbled, suddenly tired. My aching muscles melted away, the world around me fuzzy.

My vassal, and we shall conquer the world. Kill all the demigods and let my children rule.

I hissed at the stabbing pain behind my eyes. It felt like tiny knives were hitting my nerves in rhythm. My hands shook at the malice in her tone. She sounded insane. She was insane. I was insane. Instantly, the tiny knives turned into full-fledged swords.

I shall forgive your gaffe only because you cannot remember, hissed the voice, like thousands of bees. The scraping tone unnerved me. It was unnatural.

I AM nature! I am the Earth itself! The ground around me shook and my tree deluged a storm of needles onto my head. A pinecone bounced off my forehead and rolled down the short hill, disappearing into the black.

"Wait!" I called into the dark. The trees stopped shaking. "You're Gaea" I could almost feel the spirit smiling and it forced the corners of my lips to tug up too. I shuddered and scrubbed a hand across my mouth. That wasn't me.

Yes. I am the Earth and I shall reclaim it. The conviction in her voice ensnared me, making me want to leap up and go fight something, anything. I looked up at my tree. The branches tilted towards me menacingly as the moaning and groaning got louder, even though the wind had disappeared. If I could have, I would have leapt up and run, as fast as I could until I couldn't move anymore, but the ground below me was soft and sticky. I was trapped. The voice in my head started to speak again as I scrabbled at the earth, desperate for release. My backpack, which I had propped up next to me, was stuck too when I tugged on the straps, hoping that maybe, inside, I had packed a knife or even scissors that I had forgotten about.

The forest moaned again, an eerie howl.

You have agreed to serve me. You cannot leave. The buzz of Gaea's voice made my hands slow as I tried to keep shoving away the dirt. My limbs were heavy, like I had gained a hundred pounds. I didn't want to fight, did I? Fighting was useless. I had to serve Gaea. I didn't want to move. I was being silly.

Good, boy. Very good. You don't want to leave me. I will protect you. Together we shall kill the traitors.

Yes! The traitors! Those demigods. I should have killed them when I had the chance, not run away. Yes, that was right. They were evil and we were right. They deserved to die. Didn't they?

"I'm sorry, Mother. I should have killed them." My headache subsided as Gaea's approval swept through me. Why had I been fighting, again?

You should have. Look at me. Look what they have destroyed. Open your eyes to the true horrors the demigods have pushed on your poor Mother. I did not deserve this. Obediently, I rubbed at my eyes, surprised to find them sandy and gritty. Everything came into focus. The ugly highway, cutting through nature like a poisoned knife. The pools of oily water on the edges, toxins sinking into Gaea's skin.

Yes, I was right to fight the demigods, wasn't I? They had ruined all of this. But some small part of me argued otherwise. It wasn't all their fault. They hadn't built these roads, or dug the oil from the earth-

Gaea shrieked indignantly, sending my head pounding. They invented these ideas! Children of loathsome Athena ruined it all! Hephaestus' spawn built it! Look what they did to you! Trapped you, tried to force you to their side, to poison you with their medicine.

Yes. No. Yes. No. Had they tried to kill me or had they tried to save me? Was it all my fault? Was it theirs? Did we share the blame? The hammering in my skull was distracting as I tried to think.

Trust me, child. But I couldn't! She had done nothing for me! I wanted memories back, of sunny days and sports and cookies and family. Of a time before all of this, when I was perfectly happy in my quiet world. It had been quiet, hadn't it? No evil spirits and Earth Mothers and monsters and gods. I wanted to know what it was like to not be terrified of your own mind. I didn't want to know that Gaea existed.

Trust me! The pounding was harder, more forceful. Insisting that I listen, that I give myself over to Gaea. It was so tempting. Couldn't she had asked for anything else besides trust?

We shall punish them for their treachery. It didn't seem like anyone besides me was being punished for anything. Did they deserve to die? Did Gaea deserve to die?

Why did I have to be the one to decide? I was only one person, alone on the side of the road, trying to hitchhike three thousand miles across the country with the vague dream of finding memories. Of finding myself. Not of finding bodies, or killing the people that once inhabited them. Not of choosing between two sides I knew nothing about. Branches stretched towards me, brambly weeds hissing closer. I shrank back as much as I could while glued to the earth. Gaea hissed in my head and so did the forest, reaching closer, grasping at me. Choose! the world insisted.

Or die.

Hey there!

I hope everyone liked this chapter. Just so you know, edits were made to Chapter One in conjunction with this. That's how it will be working from now on. With each new chapter, you also get an edited chapter. So be sure to check those out!

A quick note: Concrit is great. I love concrit! Reviews are what make the world go 'round or whatever. Telling me you hope my family will burn in a fire is not great. Doing it as an anon so I can't report you is even less so. I get that you may not like Mark. That does not translate to wishing death on me. You're forewarned, anon. Flames are not how you express your feelings towards a character or an author. I know I'm preaching to the choir with most of you, but now it's said. I don't suffer bullies.

On a lighter topic, I'll be starting a QOTC, or question of the chapter. Answer in a review, if you like! Also, I'm still open to having someone beta or read the chapters before they go out. The only requirement is that you are willing to use Google Docs and emails. I don't like the site's DocX system.

QOTC: What's your favorite moment of the story so far?

~Dreams