Disclaimer; I do not own any of the character's in this, all are property of Shonda Rhimes and whomever else

This is the first fic I am publishing, thank you for clicking on this! Just before you start reading, here is a little more background for the story. The shooting never happened because I didn't like the shooting at all, Meredith never lost the first pregnancy and they had the baby, a girl. They decided to try again a year and a half after the baby was born, that is when Meredith finds out she has a hostile uterus. After no luck with trying for nearly two years, they decided to give up. They never tried to adopt Zola because it wasn't a good time for them, their daughter was only a year old.

This story isn't going to be just about Meredith's PTSD, it will have family issues and other everyday problems that will come arise in this. Main ships in this are MerDer, Slexie, Calzona, and Japril will also be together.

"Are you sure you guys don't want to do this?" Mer asked again. She tapped her foot against the floor, she hated talking about the plane crash and was ready to put it behind her. She still had a duty to Cristina and Alex to make this right, they deserved better than to just be thrown aside.

"Look Mer, if we do this lawsuit then the hospital will be liable, the hospital will go bankrupt and we will have no where else to go. If we do this then everything we worked for will all go down in flames," Derek spoke against it, he didn't like the idea of it from the beginning.

"We need justice for Alex and Cristina, for Mark almost dying, for the nights of wonder if we will ever be found, for your hand," Meredith kept on, She knew that she had Lexie on her side.

"I'm against it and I don't want any part in this. We can get justice for all of this but not this way," Derek argued, looking at Mark for help.

"She has a good point man, we could have died out there and someone needs to take the blame," Mark took Mer's side, wanting action.

"Think of the few good things that came out of this, most of us are alive, Mark and Lexie found their way back to each other, we got to stay in our home instead of moving away, and I get to spend more time with Maddie," Derek pointed out. Meredith sighed, knowing this was going to go on forever.

They continued to fight, Lexie took sides with Derek because she just wanted it all to be over. After an hour of back and forth, everyone decided not to file a lawsuit.

"Thank you, for finally agreeing with me," He smiled, taking Mer's hand as they made their way down to the daycare. He was proud that he won that time, it was rare he ever won an argument anymore. They walked into the daycare, the kids were scattered out in their groups. Maddie was playing at a table by herself, she has always been independent but will work with others when she has to or wants to. They greeted the daycare worker before going over to the table where she was sitting. Her dirty blonde pigtails that Derek fixed earlier that day had been messed up and her green eyes focused on the task at hand.

"She's more focused then most of the interns here," Meredith said in a quiet voice, Derek laughed and nodded along.

"Hi mommy, hi daddy," The little girl smiled up at both of us as we walked over to her table. She was creating a block tower with pink blocks.

"Hi pumpkin, you almost ready to go home?" Derek asked and she nodded.

"Go get your backpack so we can leave," Meredith said, she took the blocks down and put them away in their correct spot. She disappeared around a corner before coming back with a princess backpack on her shoulders.

"I'm ready," she giggled, looking up at the both of them. She grabbed on to Mer's hand. They all walked over, signing her out before walking toward the car.

"Mommy, why isn't you woking tonight?" She questioned, she was so use to Meredith be working almost every night and always questioned why Mer was home.

"Well because there are other doctors who can also save lives so I can spend more time with my favorite girl," Mer smiled down at her. Mer had a sudden bad feeling that came over her, it was a mix of nausea and sadness.

"But you is de bestest at it," She was confused, Mer thought to herself that should be here for her more often. That was the one thing she never wanted to happen.

"Your mommy is the best as it but sometimes she needs a break," Derek answered her this time, fumbling in his pocket with one hand. The automatic doors opened to go outside as they stepped out in the light drizzle coming down.

"Daddy, I can't get my shoes wet," Maddie stopped under the canopy.

"Maddie, come on, it's just water," Derek sighed. He seemed really tired and wanted to go home.

"Mommy," she whined. She gazed at her dad then her mom.

"Madelyn Rhea, just walk, the ground isn't even that wet," Meredith raised my eyebrow at her, Maddie also raised hers and crossed her arms. She was trying to get her way.

"No," she put her hand on her hips and bobbed her head, pulling out the full diva.

"Mads, come on. I'm really tired and me and your mom have to work early tomorrow," Derek tried to persuade her, which use to work but now she knows she can play him.

"Please daddy," she pulled out the puppy dog eyes and raised her arms at him, Mer knew this one was going to work. He sighed and picked her up, she grinned and kissed his cheek.

Mer looked over at him, rolling her eyes as we got to the car. He put her in the car seat before getting in the front seat.

"Do you want to stop somewhere and get something to eat?" He asked, starting the engine as he backed out of the parking space.

"That sounds fine, I guess you can just stop and grab a pizza," She sighed, gazing out the window. She wanted that lawsuit, she had lost her back-up person that day and she didn't know if she was ever going to see her daughter again. She still had flashes at night occasionally, something that she should have talked to someone about. Her thoughts seemed to fade away as she stared into the night sky. She still had trouble with darkness but it was getting better.

"Mer, what do you want on the pizza?" Derek asked, causing Meredith to pull herself from her thoughts.

"Hmm?" She questioned.

"Pizza toppings?" He asked again.

"The usual," she sighed as she watched him climb out of the car. She found it odd her daughter wasn't talking up a storm like she usually did on the rides home. Meredith grazed back, noticing the sleeping toddler in the car seat. The wave of nausea came over her again, she felt like this time she was going to hurl. She searched her purse and the car for something to relieve it, suddenly came across the hard stripped candy as she popped it into her mouth. The peppermint coated her tongue and immediately made it go away.

"I can't be getting sick," she groaned quietly. She watched as Derek came back to the car, pizza box in hand. He handed her the box as he got into the car, putting his seat belt on.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked, noticing her pale color.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little nauseous," she assured him. He placed his hand on her knee, her palm covering his hand as they drove to their house in the woods.

"Do you want to carry her in or wake her up?" Mer asked, gripping the pizza box. She was hungry, the pizza smelled surprisingly mouthwatering.

"I'll carry her in and wake her up to see if she wants to eat," Derek climbed out of the car, taking the toddler from her car seat. Her arms reached around his neck and her head found his shoulder.

Mer grabbed the pizza box, climbing out the door and to the front door. She quickly unlocked the door, turning the light on as she got inside. She went to the kitchen, sitting the box down on the table as Derek came inside.

"Maddie, do you want to eat or just go to bed?" Derek asked her, still in his arms.

"I'm sleepy," she mumbled more but that was all you could make out of what she was saying.

"I'll go put her in the bed," Derek started up the stairs. Meredith grabbed down two plates, opening the box. The gooey cheese seemed to be calling her name, she grabbed a slice and took a bite.

"You look like you are enjoying that pizza," Derek sounded amused, staring at his wife. He removed the velcro straps attached to the cast on his arm, placing it on the counter top.

"I guess this is just something I was wanting," she giggled, causing him to smile. His wife's giggle seemed to always brighten the mood. He grabbed a slice also, taking a bite. He didn't see why Meredith enjoyed pizza so much, it was always so unhealthy and greasy. It reminded him of college, something he doesn't want to relive.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" She asked him, placing the crust of the first slice of pizza on the plate and grabbing another slice.

"I have a 10am lecture and then two skills labs with the residents," He watched her closely as she devoured the pizza.

"Lucky you, do you want me to take Maddie into daycare when I leave or will you? I have to be there at 8am," She sat the half-eaten slice on the plate, moving over to the stools to sit down.

"No, I'll take her but are you going to do what we talked about?" He asked, talking about the therapist he saw that helped him come to terms with his hand.

"No Derek, I told you I don't need a therapist. I am fine," She told him and everyone else the same thing over and over again. She didn't enjoy telling people about her problems, she had never had to before.

"Ok, I just thought it would help with the nightmares," He bit the tip of his tongue as the words left him mouth, regretting his actions immediately.

"They aren't nightmares, I don't have nightmares. I have bad dreams and they will go away soon enough. Everyone - almost everyone lived, I have no reason to see anyone now would you stop nagging me about it," She was getting angry, he always pushed her to see a therapist every since the accident happened.

"Mer, I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again," He moved behind her stool, placing his hands on her shoulders and massaging slightly. She leaned against the back of the stool, her upper back laying against his chest.

"Maddie is asleep, and we are arguing. I don't think this is a good picture," She looked up at him, the soft look in his eyes turned to excitement and lust.

"I can think of something better to do," He smiled, she smiled also, biting her lower lip up at him. She stood up, he grabbed her back and pulled her against him.

"I like the way you think," Her hands went around his neck, pulling his lips down to meet hers. She let a giggle pass by her lips as he lifted her up, her legs wrapped around his waist as he carried her to the closest counter, sitting her down.

He ran his hand from around her waist, sliding his hands under the hem of her sweater, up her stomach to the lace bra she wore. He quickly removed the sweater, parting their lips for just a moment before his lips attached to hers again. Their close encounter was quickly interrupted by the sound of knocking on the door.

"What the hell was that," Meredith questioned, her arms still around Derek.

"I don't know, want me to go check?" He asked, looking at her. She shook her head no.

"If it was important, they would have called first," she started to kiss him again and the knock on the door came again, this time it was louder.

"Come on, I saw both cars and I know you are home," The voice called, it shocked both of them. Derek helped Meredith off the counter, she grabbed her sweater as Derek went to open the door.

"What are you doing here?" He questioned, looking at the petite figure standing on the front porch.

"I haven't seen you in two years and the best I get is what am I doing here?" She scoffed, bypassing Derek as she walked into the living room.

"Nice house, guessing I was interrupting whatever was going on between the two of you?" She looked between the messy curls on Derek's head and the heavy breathing coming from the both of them.

"Amy, What are you doing here?" Derek said again.