Ch 4 – Mr. Mom

Fiona returned to the house in the wee hours of the morning, with the Axeman and his belongings, waking the entire residence with their overjubilant arrival. The Supreme found herself scared shitless, and for that reason, so happy to be in the strong arms of her beloved. He kissed her soundly, the purest of smiles on his handsome face as he held her tight, carrying her over the school's threshold putting her back on her feet ever so gently. Despite her fear, she giggled loudly into his mouth, having never felt so right with any man before in her life. And that scared her too.

"We're gonna have a baby." He laughed, rubbing the tip of his nose against hers, not noticing her disquiet. "We're gonna be a family, honey bunch!"

The axeman was elated. His days had ended, long before hers ever began and yet here they were: poised for a new beginning, one he'd always dreamed of, together. Fiona smiled as he cupped her cheeks in his giant hands and kissed the top of her forehead. The normally cold witch said nothing, just wanting to be cared for, to surrender for once in her miserable days. She didn't know, right then, what the future would hold, or how to tell this, strangely lovely man that the baby she carried inside, his baby, was going to be the purest of evil. And even she, a wicked, awful witch, was scared beyond measure.

"So, how's this going to work?" Delia crossed her arms angrily. The rest of the girls assembling behind her.

….

A little bit later, Cordelia confronted Fiona and the Axeman in the sitting room, Marie and all the girls hid around the corner, listening carefully.

"I don't want him in this house." Cordelia scoffed.

"Now don't be like that pumpkin, why I'm gonna be your new stepdaddy." The Axeman chimed.

"Well I've had my share of those."

"This is different Delia, I'm having a baby this time."

"You expect me to just let a serial killer live here with my girls?"

"I'm a changed man, Cordelia." The Axeman mused, gushing with pride. "I can prove it."

"You killed a boardroom full of men a couple of weeks ago." Delia deadpanned.

"To protect you, and your girls." He smiled, self-satisfied.

Delia said nothing, the sound of the crackling fire filling dead air.

"I told you we needed a guard dog, Delia. And I've brought us the best one I could find." Fiona smiled, running her fingers through her lovers' hair. "And besides, he's your baby sister's daddy. We couldn't turn him away, now could we?" Fiona felt like enticing her daughter, rather than demanding of her, just to toy with her further.

Delia fumed, remembering that her own mother had turned her father away. Whoever he was. "We do this on my terms." Delia demanded. "But a couple of warnings to you both. First, he can stay, on a trial basis, but the minute he so much as kills or slips up I'm telling you, he's out of here."

Fiona rolled her eyes, knowing that the baby under her heart met reinforced strength: at least for the forseeable future, and for that time, she'd be the strongest Supreme she'd ever been. Delia didn't have a chance in hell of getting her way.

"I promise. You won't have a complaint about me. I'll fit in, I'll pitch in. Like one of the girls." He smiled. "And I really think, in time, you'll accept me as your stepdaddy."

"Not hardly." Cordelia scoffed looking him up and down. "And second. She's a contemptable bitch when she's pregnant, so hold on buddy."

Delia left quickly, almost slamming the living room door. Fiona and the Axeman jumped.

"Well that went well, don't you think? Honeybunch?" He questioned, noting she stared off into space.

"I-I can't believe she remembered-"

"She was so little, the last time you were pregnant." He remarked, gently sweeping her hair out of her face.

"I-oh you would've known, wouldn't you? With you – always watching me, and everything."

Fiona had no idea what to say. She never spoke of the little girl she'd lost at birth, the one whose parentage, much like her older sister, had remained a mystery to her mother. That was the one thing Fiona took comfort in, this time around: she knew and loved the father. Delia had been a one-night stand, and she'd kept her because deep within, there was a heart inside Fiona that longed to be loved.

But the lost girl? Fiona had not been herself around the time of that child's conception. Delia, then two, had been very sick, and she'd just broken up (a couple of months before) with another lover. This one had been very serious. She'd thought he was the one. Depressed, the young supreme had taken her baby daughter to the school with her and barricaded herself there for some time. And during that time, she'd fallen pregnant. Somehow.

"It was you." Her breath caught in her throat. She backed up, frightened, his deep, normally irresistible grin chilling her to the bone.

"Yes. It was me."

…..

Fiona got up, hugging her middle tight as she paced. Frightened, disgusted, devastated all at once. She put her arm out, trying to keep loverboy at a distance.

"How could you ra-"

"No." He corrected sharply. "You were stone cold drunk, and I appeared to you. Not to take advantage, but because I knew you'd see me and never remember. I wanted you to see me, Fiona because I'd always loved you. I'd loved you all your life and you'd ever seen me." He followed as she paced in circles. "But then, you. Began to kiss me, and started to undo the buttons on my shirt… And you started to share your wine… and it felt so good and, you just kept pursuing me…. And for the first time, in years of agony I could really feel…"

Fiona turned to the axeman, believing him. Drunk and as depressed as she'd been, she would've absolutely pursued a strange man who showed up in her bedroom. Fiona's mind quickly turning to other matters.

"You're the father of that child." She said aloud.

"Yes. That was my child. And I'd wanted to meet her."

The axeman had never been so livid, or heartbroken as he was the day he figured out his baby wasn't coming home from the hospital. He hated what it'd done to his Fiona, and moreover, deeply lamented that it'd dashed all hopes of his becoming a father: even, from a distance.

"I did everything a mother, everything a supreme could, to find her. And I never…"

The axeman grabbed her elbows, getting down on his knees before her, and looking up. "It's not your fault. You're a perfect mother."

"I'm a deplorable mother. One of them hates me, one of them was stolen from my arms, and the third one… She'll hate us both: I can promise that."

"We're going to have a beautiful new start, no matter what anyone says."

"She's out there…" Fiona lamented, turning her mind to something she thought she could, in some universe, fix.

Fiona knew she could never change the outcome for the child she carried, or the destiny it would fulfill for her, but she could still try to fix what should've never been broken. That second child was out there, alive, and lost. And as long as she was breathing, Fiona knew it wouldn't be too late to try to find her and bring her home.

"Oh why am I getting so sentimental?" She asked, drying her tears with the back of her hand.

"You're nesting, baby doll." He smiled, reaching over and drying her eyes. "It'll all be alright, we'll win Delia over. We'll have a lovely new baby, and somehow, we'll find our daughter. How old would she be, again? I don't have the sense of time you do."

Fiona sighed. "Oh? 32? I guess." She laughed. "And here I am, pregnant. Come on, I'm tired and defeated. Let's go to bed." She took his hand.

He smiled, liking the idea of spending his first real night in that bed with her as her partner rather than the ghost who haunted her.

"You know, now that she's grown you'd think she'd be easier to find." He said as they made their way out of the room.

"Oh?"

"Sure. She must be one powerful witch." He teased. "But she probably doesn't even know it."

The thought struck Fiona deeply, and she took it to heart. The two continued out of the living room, hand in hand and silent, neither noticing as they passed Misty who'd sat outside, the living room in the dark, listening to the conversation.

"Oh, My." Misty shook as she watched Fiona and the axeman head up the stairs. And with that, she passed out cold.

…..

Misty shifted nervously in her seat as she watched the axeman, now wearing an old fashioned, woman's apron, proceed to make breakfast for the entire house. How on earth could this possibly be? How could she be the offspring of the baddest witch in town, and a dead serial killer? Misty paused, her head swimming in agony at the though, her stomach sinking at the gut realization that she knew it to be true. It made all the sense in the world. Their baby had gone missing around the time she'd been born and fate had brought her back here. Moreover, Fiona's incredible power, and axeys' status as being a member of the undead had manifested themselves in her – explaining her own gifts, and her ability to manipulate the nexus between life and death.

"Eat up, Misty, wouldn't want it to get cold." The axeman said kindly, placing a large plate of eggs and waffles in front of her.

"D-" Misty was surprised she'd even thought of calling him daddy, let alone almost said it. "Mr. Axeman, do we got any bagels?"

"Oh nonsense Misty, this is part of a balanced breakfast for growing girls like you." He smiled, returning to the cooking.

"Well I aint' exactly growin…."

"Look who bought into the food pyramid bullshit." Madison came into the room, a lit cigarette in hand, and sat beside Misty. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Why I'm becoming Mr. Mom."

"Huh?" Misty and Madison questioned.

Being a member of the undead, card carrying, the axeman found he didn't need to sleep quite as much as the next guy. So, eager to fit in at the house, he'd started to watch movies and tv shows about modern fatherhood…. Or what he assumed was modern fatherhood. While Fiona and the rest of the house slept, the axeman had viewed hours of media that would forever sway his opinion on what it met to be a good parent, and in some way a good man.

His own father hadn't been this way at all, but he supposed times had changed. And now, so would he. The whole house would in some way, forever lament the night the axeman had been reeducated, and forever changed, by TV dads. He'd learned an assortment of things. This Ward Cleaver fellow had taught him to be fair, but patient, even when the Beaver did climb into that coffee cup – and, had also reminded him that it'd be okay to start smoking a pipe again.

Mike Brady had taught him the importance of family unity, and elaborate vacations the axeman didn't realize were out of the realm of reality. Danny Tanner had taught him the value of cooking and obsessively cleaning for your family. Then there was this other guy, who had 8 Rules for dating his daughters… Axey, knowing how men could be, found this a brilliant idea. When he looked around the house, he realized he didn't really even know how many young women dwelled within its walls. But they were his responsibility now, and by thunder, there would be new rules about dating, for their protection, of course.

But it hadn't all come together for Axey until he saw Mr. Mom. He knew women were liberated now, look at his Fiona, after all … but he had no idea there were stay at home dads, and it was such a disasterous job. The thought didn't scare him away, but rather embolded him to do better for the unborn little witch who would be his second chance at a happy life. Besides, this Tony Micelli was also a stay at home dad … or whatever he was supposed to be. He was up with women's lib, he was a manly man, and he had his shit together. Axey knew he could do the same.

"What are you doing?" Fiona asked, holding her robe shut tight, hugging herself as she walked in the room. She felt sick, as if the smell of breakfast might make her heave everywhere.

"Why I'm following the lead of the great Tony Micelli." He explained.

"Huh?"

"He's Mr. Mom-ing it for that fossil you're carrying." Madison explained with disgust as she grabbed her coffee and left the room.

Misty swallowed hard, alone with both of them now, wishing Cordelia would show up as Fiona sat down beside her.

"God that smell." Fiona began to grumble. She jumped when Misty placed her hand on her arm. The sick gone in an instant. Fiona looked up, surprised.

Misty smiled bittersweetly, wondering how she wanted this to turn out. She took a deep breath, opting for the now or never option. She didn't want them looking for some other girl, and bringing her in here when she'd always been looking for family and she knew without question this was it: whether she liked it or not.

"I um. I heard your conversation last night." She said, noting Fiona start to fume at the idea that she'd been eves-dropping. "And I think I'm her. I think I'm your daughter."

And with that, Fiona passed out cold, Misty catching her before she could hit the ground.

….

"Fiona, sweetheart, babydoll, wakeup." Axey soothed, trying to get her to stir by waving bacon under her nose.

"Yuck!" She retched, waking slowly.

Misty watched nervously as Fiona woke and Cordelia starred her down.

"How can this be?" Delia asked. "Although, this is the first really crazy thing that's happened in a while that actually makes sense.

Misty smiled deep, happy to know that at least her wood-be big sister would accept her.

"W-what?" Fiona asked.

"Mother." Delia began. "Misty thinks there's a chance she's my lost sister."

Fiona looked up at Misty, looking her up and down but said nothing. She'd known there was something to it, the minute she'd seen Misty on tv. It was why she'd come back here, been so outraged by her death when she didn't often take the time, as a Surpreme, to care for her people. Fiona considered that maybe she'd known. Even then.

"Come here." She said quietly.

Misty smiled, going to Fiona's side (where she still lie on the couch). Fiona took her face in her hands ands and began to see.

….

32 Years Earlier – New Orleans

Fiona woke groggily to the sound of a newborn crying. This birth had been hard, and like before she'd been alone and was left alone when it was finished.

"Hmmm Lucy." She mumbled. Half asleep, the Supreme stuck her hand into the plastic bassinet at her side, finding that it was empty.

Her eyes flashed open as the sound of a newborn, her newborn, crying continued to grow more distant. Ripping the IV out of her arm, she got out of bed and ran, stopped by a pool of deep burgundy blood outside her door, where both of the guards who'd been her supposed protectors had been slain.

Fiona shrieked in horror, covering her mouth as tears poured down her cheeks, but didn't waste a beat, running after the sound of her precious daughter. But by the time she got to the end of the hall. Nothing. No sound, nothing to tell her which direction it'd gone. No spell to bring the baby's wood-be captor to justice.

"Help! Somebody please!" She cried.

Dropping to her knees, the Supreme started to sob as nurses came to tend her and started to look every which way. Fiona looked up as she sobbed, her arms splayed as if sacrificing herself at an alter. It was in that moment, that Fiona Good first found she was lost.

…..

Fiona smiled, coming out of her second sight, tears streaming from her cheeks.

"You have royal blood running through your veins." She confirmed, choking up.

Misty started to cry too, and without asking, hugged the woman who she'd barely dared to speak to prior to this.

"Mama." She said.

Cordelia watched, a mix of jealousy and joy on her heart as Fiona ran her fingers through the hippy witch's hair. Delia decided to butt in and got on her knees alongside Misty, joining the hug.

"Baby sister!" She cried. Misty let her in the hug quickly, the younger sister as eager for the relationship as the older one was.

"I-it's really her?" The Axeman question, barely able to move.

"Yes, it's really her."

"Hi daddy." Misty smiled, biting her lip as she got on her feet. "It's really me."

"Munchkin!" He'd learned this word from Uncle Jesse, the coolest of the TV dads.

Misty squealed, eager to hug her father for the first time.

The axeman laughed, hugging her tight. "Hi doll baby." He whispered.

"I can't believe it." Fiona mused happily. "Oh!"

Cordelia still knelt at her mother's side but turned to her expediently when Fiona yelped. Delia and Fiona watched, amazed when her middle seemed to stir to life. A little hand or foot, or hoof… pressing the up on the underside of Fiona's still flat middle.

"Ohhhhh noooo!" Fiona cried.

Axey and Misty paused, marveling over what they were seeing. Misty backed up in fear, her newly found father taking her in his loving arms.

'That thing…' She thought. 'Is pure evil.'

Fiona stared as the hand print (or whatever it was) subsided, and Cordelia didn't budge.

Mother and daughter shook, their eyes meeting in total horror.