Let's Fall In Love!

En and Ryuu play a video game and come to the understanding that they are never playing video games together again.

Disclaimer: The following is a parody and the author asks you not to take it too seriously. Also this was partially inspired by an episode of "Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun". Including the title.

"Let's Fall In Love?" En read, glancing up from the game case with a critical look, "A dating sim? Really?"

"S-shut up!" Ryuu jolted, clutching the disc in his hand as if it were a precious treasure, "I don't know what sort of preconceived notions you have against dating sims, but this one's different!"

"I didn't say anything," En replied. In truth, he had nothing against that particular genre. It wasn't one he'd ever played before, and while he was aware of the stereotypes associated with its fanbase, as far as he was concerned, that had nothing to do with him. He'd never pegged Ryuu as being a fan of them, but in truth, he'd never actually thought of Ryuu in the context of video games; only women.

Women…

"Hey Ryuu," En asked, "Just out of curiosity, do you learn how to talk to your girlfriends from these games?"

"Yufuin-senpai, are you trying to pick a fight?" It was an innocent question, really, and En couldn't help but feel amusement at Ryuu's dark expression.

"Not really. I said I was just curious, didn't I? Kids today are so violent."

"Watch it, old man," Ryuu retorted and slipped the disc into the console before taking a seat besides En on the couch and taking the controller. He started up the game, skipping the opening movie to get to the start screen. The start screen was very pink and girly looking with the image of the game's high school behind a logo surrounded by ribbons. Ryuu never had an issue with it before, but he couldn't help but feel self-conscious about it now. He quickly pressed "New Game" and handed the controller to En, taking the game's case for himself.

A naming screen popped up. En stared at it for a moment. "What name should I put in?"

"Does it matter? Just make one up."

"Too troublesome."

"Seriously? Use your own name then."

"Isn't that weird? What name do you use?" Ryuu twitched.

"Are you being difficult on purpose, Yufuin-senpai?" he asked, well aware that he was dodging the question and hoping En wouldn't notice. Regardless of whether he did or not, the corners of his mouth curled into a smirk and he put it his name without another complaint. Then a screen asking for a nickname popped up.

Ryuu already knew the question was coming before En even turned to him. "You of all people shouldn't be struggling with this," he said quickly, "How about "En-chan"?"

En shook his head. "That nickname is a best friend privilege," he retorted and after a quick thought, just put in his first name again.

The game started up with the usual kind of introduction. You were a guy about to transfer into a new high school, blah blah blah… En skimmed through the dialogue as it came up on screen. As the school's opening ceremony commenced, he turned to Ryuu. "So what's the point of this game anyway?"

"It's a dating sim," Ryuu explained, "There are five dateable girls, and your goal is to get close to one of them, and get a happy end with her before you graduate."

"I thought you said it was different from other dating sims."

"I-it is!" Ryuu felt his face heat up, "The writing is actually pretty good, and the characters are pretty relatable. They feel more like real people than just stereotypes. Honestly, I almost feel like I know them."

"If you say so," En was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. If it really was that good, maybe he could recommend it to Atsushi later too.

They played on a bit, occasionally chatting about the setting and plot. The player character joined some weird "do-anything" club that all of the girls were members of, which seemed to be little more than an excuse for all of them to hang out after school.

"So then, these are the girls," En set down the controller when all five of them were on screen.

"Yep," Ryuu explained, "The first three chapters follow a common route so you have your chance to get close to whichever girl you like, and then from chapter 4 on, you start the story of whomever you're closest to and need to raise your relationship high enough to get her ending."

"Makes sense," En agreed, "How many chapters are in this game?"

"Depends on the girl. Yuryo's route is longest since she's the "main girl" and kinda oblivious about romance and the like."

"Yuryo?"

"The short blonde one," Ryuu explained gesturing to the girl in the center, "Norikura Yuryo. Cute, isn't she?" En looked at the girl with short wavy blonde hair, dressed in a sailor uniform. He frowned.

"Yuryo… isn't there a hot spring with that name?"

"Is there? Never heard of it," Ryuu shrugged, "The names in this game are weird anyway. But do you want to go with her?"

"No, the longest route seems like a pain. Who has the shortest?"

"That would be Haku Ai and Shirane Natsumi. Theirs are the same length."

"And they are?"

"The brunette and the blue-haired girl." The brunette, Ai, was the tallest of the group, with light brown hair up in a messy bun and an unkempt uniform. Everything about her told En that she would most likely be a pain to deal with. The other girl, Natsumi, by contrast seemed to project an air or kindness and gentleness. She had long straight dark blue hair, and a pair of glasses adorned her smiling face. Yes, she seemed like a good choice.

"Yufuin-senpai?"

"Let's go with Natsumi," he said confidently.

"You sound excited. "

"Do I? I just like her name, I guess."

"If you say so. Do you at least want to know who the other two are?"

"Sure."

"Alright, so the one with green-ish hair is Tsurugi Enso—

"Enso…" En repeated the name thoughtfully, "That's interesting."

"Weird name, I know. And the one with pink hair is Aino Ryuko," Ryuu gestured to the last two girls, "Anyway, are you set on Natsumi?"

"Yeah."

"Alright," Ryuu grinned, "Somehow I had a feeling you'd go for her."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I always pegged you for liking the nurturing, domestic kind of girls." Ryuu said that so confidently that En wasn't really sure how to respond. Honestly, he'd never thought about it at all.

"Alright then, anything I should know about her?"

"Not really. She already starts off pretty friendly towards you, so just appeal to her caring side, and she's pretty easy to score points with."

"…That word choice sounds wrong."

"It's a game Yufuin-senpai."

Admittedly, Ryuu wasn't sure what it was about Natsumi that made him think she was En's type, but the more they played the game, the more she just seemed to fit. Ryuu had played through all of the routes before, so he knew exactly which choices to make at each point, but surprisingly so did En. Even though he swore he'd never heard of the game before Ryuu showed it to him, he was practically an expert. And considering Natsumi was the type of character who didn't like to burden others with her feelings, it was actually really impressive that En knew just when to push and when to back off. Ryuu's own experience with that route was pitiful in comparison.

And yet, En wasn't happy. The further they went into the game, the more intense his face got, and it wasn't just because he was getting into the game (which he was).

"Now you see, her apron here is too low cut," En complained, "She's leaving too much of her outfit exposed."

"She looks cute though," Ryuu shrugged, "It's fanservice."

"It's not practical though," En argued, "You know how many good shirts Atsushi's messed up over the years? Aprons are important."

"Er, okay then," there were some topics Ryuu was afraid to ask En about sometimes.

Sometime later, a different issue cropped up.

"This girl is just unrealistically patient," En chortled, "There are limits to how long one can let another sleep-in without snapping."

"Are you saying this from experience?" Ryuu tilted his head.

"Yeah. Atsushi's limit is fifteen minutes. If I'm not up and dressed by then, he gets creative."

"…Creative." Ryuu repeated, then shook his head, "No, forget it." He didn't feel like mentioning that fifteen minutes was also a pretty generous amount of time to wait for someone to wake up.

And then, there was a third incident.

"Is it me, or is Natsumi kinda clingy?" En frowned. They had safely reached the last chapter, they had enough points with Natsumi to get her ending.

"How so?"

"I mean, she seems kinda attached to me."

"She's in love with you. That's the whole point."

"Yeah but," En sighed, "The player character is such a jerk to her. He's an unmotivated lazy bum who practically forces her to dote on him 24/7 and she's always so happy to do it. It pains me!"

Ryuu's jaw dropped. "What?"

"That kind of thing doesn't seem right."

"But, but, you also show her your dependable side. You're the shoulder she can cry on!"

But En wasn't convinced. "Still doesn't feel right. She's just always there, you know."

"Yufuin-senpai, it's a game where you're trying to win her over. Of course, she'll be in every scene."

"I know that," En snapped, "But she should argue back and force her way a little. I'm always telling Atsushi to be more assertive too."

Okay, this couldn't have been a coincidence anymore. Once the ending credits started playing, Ryuu turned to his friend. "Yufuin-senpai, why do you keep comparing Natsumi to Kinugawa-senpai?" En fixed him with a blank look.

"I am?"

"Yes!" Ryuu cried, "Every time you open your mouth you bring him up. He's not the one you're…wait." Ryuu frowned as one of En's previous comments echoed in his mind. "Atsushi… Natsumi… Yufuin-senpai, why was it that you chose her route again?"

"Huh? 'Cause it's the shortest. And I liked her name, I guess. It's a nice name."

"Natsumi," Ryuu repeated, "as in "Summer"."

"It's my favorite season," En admitted, "It's always so warm and—

En's eyes widened. Ryuu covered his mouth with his hand to hide his grin as En started repeated the word "No" in increasingly horrified tones as he fumbled for the game's box.

"So basically," Ryuu laughed, "We just spent that last few hours wooing Kinugawa-senpai. This is awesome!"

"No it isn't!" En snapped still scanning the box, "For one thing, Natsumi is nothing like Atsushi."

"Yes she is!" Ryuu exclaimed jumping up, "She's serene, compassionate, wears glasses, has blue hair, hides her true feelings to avoid trouble, spoils the protagonist rotten—

"Two of those are just aesthetic choices!" En yelled, "And those qualities aren't all that unique either."

"So you keep saying," tears formed in Ryuu's eyes as his sides started to hurt from the laughter. En just scowled at him and turned to the back cover of the game case where all of the game's heroines could be seen. He studied it intensely.

"You know there was something bothering me about this game for a while, and I think I'm starting to get it now," he frowned, "Hey Ryuu, you've played all of these before right?"

"Yep. Some more than others too."

"Really? Who's your favorite?"

"Oh that's easy," Ryuu leaned over and pointed to the green-haired girl, "Enso, definitely."

"What's she like?"

Ryuu sat down and considered it for a moment, even crossing his arms to give himself an air of sophistication. "She's a bookworm," he finally said, "I'm sure you've noticed, but she's always reading books, talking about books, and even judges things in terms of books. And in her route, you get to see that books are practically a lifeline for her. She has some trust issues, 'cause people are unpredictable, but books don't betray. Yeah, she's really cute."

En nodded and "hmm"ed to himself thoughtfully. "Hey Ryuu," his voice was teasing, "Can you repeat that, but subbing out "books" for "money"?"

Now it was Ryuu's turn to turn fifty shades of crimson and lunge for the game's box.

"Well?" En wore a smug smile.

"L-lots of people are like that!" he countered, but now that it was in his head, it wouldn't leave.

"Yeah, yeah, so you keep saying," En sighed, admittedly bothered by how attached he got to a fictional character who just happened to remind him a tiny bit of Atsushi, "Still that's a pretty weird coincidence. Even their hair colors match."

"Tell me about it," Ryuu held up the box, "And looking at it now, Ai is starting to remind me of you, Yufuin-senpai." Ai was the tall, harsh-looking one, En reminded himself. She appeared often enough in Natsumi's route acting as a sort of support pillar for her. En found her annoying, but it was clear that she cared deeply for her friend (who affectionately called her "Ai-chan.")

En grimaced.

"Yeah well, Pinky is definitely you, Zaou. She's boy crazy, energetic, gets bad grades, likes cherries, is always playing with her phone—

"So what? Don't compare me to a fictional character!" Especially not to my least favorite one of them, he added mentally. Though Ryuu liked all the girls in the game, that one always rubbed him the wrong way somehow. He wasn't sure why though.

"Also, her name's Ryuko," En finished, "It doesn't get more you than that."

Ryuu shuddered. "So then Yuryo?"

"Childish, friendly, excitable, oblivious to love, friend to all animals, works in her family-owned maid café? That Yuryo?"

"Yumoto," they both said at the same time.

For a while, neither of them spoke, not sure of how to even process this kind of revelation.

"Are we a cliché group?" En finally asked, "If we fit the character types of a dating sim so perfectly, I mean?"

"Us? No way," Ryuu grumbled, "But you know, I can't help but wonder about some of the side characters now."

"Which ones?"

"All of them," Ryuu's frown deepened, "Like the male friend, Tama. He never shuts up about love and is always pushing you forward in it. He's really annoying at first, but he grows on you over time. And despite his age, he talks like an old man."

"Wombat," En clicked his tongue in frustration, "Then there's the student council president, Ginchiyo. She's pretentious and seems to have it out for our do-nothing club."

"That does sound a bit like Kusatsu," Ryuu agreed, "Oh did you know? She actually has a secret route in the game. You have to finish both Ai and Natsumi's stories to access it, but it's worth it. She's such a tsundere in her route."

"And now she sounds even more like Kusatsu," En shuddered, "The vice president didn't really stand out much, but the treasurer reminds me of Gero. Narcissistic, petty, long pink hair… what was her name again?"

"Utena."

They considered it for a moment.

"Okay seriously, what the hell is this game?" En looked over the box, "What do you know about it?"

"It's the first game made by a group called CIDE productions, it was released pretty recently… Oh and I'm never playing it again!" Ryuu scowled in disgust.

"This is seriously freaky," En rubbed his temples warily.

"Agreed." Ryuu nodded.

"Wanna pretend this never happened and never speak of it again?"

"Definitely."

Then after another contemplative moment, En added,

"Wanna make Io and Atsushi play it, and see who they pick?"

"Definitely!"

A/N: If you made it this far, thanks for reading! ...I honestly have no idea what I was thinking. I just suddenly really wanted to write this. I'll write something more serious next time, I promise! (Not sure why, but I love the idea of En and Ryuu hanging out and being bros. I have another (saner) idea for that too)

Some, uh, name puns that might need to be cleared up:
Enso= Chlorine. As in the periodic table element next to Sulfur.
Yuryo is, in fact, the name of hot spring. Three guesses where it's located.
Gin= Silver, Kin= Gold ;)
All mentioned last names are mountains in Japan. You don't know how giddy I was to use the name "Aino" of all things! (And as a side note, google "Mount Shirane" for another example of my total maturity in all of this :P)
(Shirane and Aino were the only ones chosen for a reason. The others were all just random "whatever sounded good" ^^")

As for CIDE Productions, I'll leave that to your imaginations!

...Am I kicked out of the fandom yet?