Eric

The first thing I notice when I walk into the room is the disgruntled look on Caria's face. She looks to be deep in conversation with Amar but whatever it is that he's telling her isn't making her happy. Her eyes are dark and her lips are pinched and she's got her arms crossed over her chest. The word upset doesn't even begin to describe her expression.

It doesn't take too much longer for all the other initiates to fill the room, Dauntless born and transfers alike, and when all of us are present Amar begins to explain what's about to happen.

"Today you'll be going back into your fear landscapes," he says slowly, eyes sweeping over the room.

A few people flinch or tense up while some just sigh. Since we experienced our fear landscapes the very first day of initiation we all have some idea of what to expect.

"The first time we did this you went through all your fears at once. This time you'll be facing one at a time every day for the next couple weeks. Over that time the goal is to get out of the simulation as quickly as you possibly can."

I glance at Four and feel a small surge of jealousy. Only four fears to work through isn't going to take long at all.

"You'll go one at a time and I'll be the one to administer the test," Amar continues. He nudges Caria, who jolts suddenly and looks around. "Caria on the other hand..."

She runs a hand through her hair and states, "I'll be providing counseling."

I can feel a snort swelling in my throat but one of the Candor initiates beats me to it.

"Counseling?" Kyler asks incredulously. "Why would we need counseling?"

"The way you'll be facing your fears in the landscape is basically exposure therapy," Caria explains slowly. "When you come out of the landscape you're likely to be affected by what you went through for quite some time afterward. I'll be available in the infirmary to talk over what you face in your landscapes. Some fears are irrational but others can be explained, and the ones that can be explained can likely be fought here in the real world as well. If that's successful then it's possible that the number of fears in your landscape will decrease."

There's a silence in the room as her words settle. After another moment she shrugs.

"Counseling will be entirely voluntary. I won't seek you out or force you to talk. It'll be entirely up to you."

After another moment or two Amar calls the first initiate and Caria leaves the room. When she brushes past me there's a faraway look in her eyes.

Caria

No one shows up to see me for counseling until the third day.

There is a soft knock on the door to my office and then Four walks in. He stands awkwardly by the door, his shoulders pulled in.

"You can take a seat," I tell him, gesturing around the room.

He hesitates before he sits down on a plush couch across from my desk. He avoids eye contact, choosing instead to pick at a hangnail on his thumb.

I allow him to sit quietly for a solid ten minutes before calling his name. He flinches and shrinks in on himself before glancing up at me. His eyes are red.

"Tell me about your first day," I say.

"Heights," he answers, wringing his hands and looking back down. "I was stuck up in the air between two buildings."

I nod. "Heights is a common fear."

"It makes me feel stupid," he says softly.

"It shouldn't. It's a fear you face and overcome every day using the trains."

He shrugs, not at all comforted by my words. A fear of heights isn't the reason he's here, we both know that.

"What about yesterday? What was your fear then?"

"Small spaces. I was locked in a shrinking room."

I nod. "Claustrophobia will have fewer real life instances to encounter here in the compound."

"Yeah," he agrees, not really listening to me.

I give him time to broach the subject of his most recent fear but what he says next catches me by surprise.

"Did your father ever hit you?"

I purse my lips and look down at my hands. "Never physically, no."

"Today was my father," he says softly. "It was more a memory than anything else. He came home, he got the belt, he told me it was for my own good while he hit me."

My hands clench into fists as many things I've wondered about Four slowly fall into place. The reason he would leave Abnegation, his high tolerance for pain, his modest dress.

"On the train after the ceremony you asked my name," he reminds me, looking up almost shyly. "It's Tobias."

The name rings a bell but I can't quite place it. Four sees what must be confusion on my face because he ducks his head again and whispers, "Tobias Eaton."

Understanding strikes white hot.

"Your father is..."

"Marcus Eaton."

The knowledge that the head of Abnegation is a child abuser pushes anger through my veins. I feel it boil in my stomach as I continue to stare at Four, rendered so small by having to confront his memory in the simulation.

"What did you do in the simulation, Four?" I ask, knowing my voice is tense.

His fists clench and he looks up to meet my eye. "I fought back."

Something a little like pride begins to extinguish the rage in my belly and I smile at him. "Good."

"I didn't want to go back to the dorm after it was over, and everyone else goes to the cafeteria so I didn't want to go there either," Four says. He smiles almost apologetically as he confesses, "This seemed like a good alternative."

"Who all knows?" I ask. "About who you are."

"You, Amar, and Tori," he answers. "You're the only one I've told myself, though. Tori did my aptitude test and Amar has seen the simulations."

I nod. "Well I doubt anyone else is going to be coming to see me today. Want to head to the training room? I can show you a few more moves for your next simulation."

He tries to squash the smile that grows on his lips as he nods. "I think I'd like that."

In the training room we kick our shoes off and hop onto the mat for a hands on approach.

"When you're going for the face a punch isn't the smart choice," I explain to him. "You're liable to break a finger or a knuckle if you go about it wrong. The better thing to do is to take the heel of your hand here and aim upward into the nose."

I move quickly, showing him the proper stance and stopping just short of driving my hand into his face. He flinches back but grins at me.

"Could we fight for real?" he asks, taking a few steps back from me.

"Four, you're a great fighter but you couldn't last two minutes in a fight against me," I tell him with a smirk. "And if I send another initiate to the infirmary after kicking their ass Thompson is gonna be pissed at me."

He looks contemplative for a moment before asking, "Why did you fight him?"

"I'm on a short fuse around visiting day," I tell him. It's mostly true, after all. "I needed to blow off some steam and I knew Thompson would actually give me a fight."

Four nods for a moment before his eyes widen and he looks pointedly away from me, a flush rising up his neck and face. It takes a moment for me to realize why he's reacting in such a way, but when I do my skin prickles and I look in the opposite direction as well.

"Ah, right. Sorry about that. I tend to get kind of... irrational around my family."

There's a tense silence between us, but it eases slowly until finally Four murmurs, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I snort and shove his shoulder. "That's supposed to be my line, initiate."

His smile is small and he rubs the back of his head. "Of anyone you could talk to about it I'll probably understand pretty well."

My heart aches at his words and the nonchalant way he says them. I heave a sigh and gesture for him to sit with me on the edge of the mat.

"I never fit in growing up in Amity," I tell him, leaning forward to slip my shoes back on. "They put a lot of emphasis on peace and hard work and it all sounds good in theory but I couldn't solve all my problems with people the way Amity wanted me to."

Four nods but doesn't say anything.

"I got into a fist fight when I was a kid and my parents flipped out. Especially my dad. He just didn't understand why I couldn't be the sweet little girl he wanted or why I was so much more of a handful than either of my brothers had been. He became even more strict, and everyone put even more emphasis on diplomacy to fix problems and all it did was make me want to leave even more."

"Little rebellions," Four offers, his voice soft in the large room.

I snort and roll my eyes. "He considered everything I did to be a rebellion. When I transferred he wouldn't even look at me. My mom was the one to come see me on visiting day, and even then it was obvious she didn't want to be here. So she said if I became a full fledged member I should go to see them in Amity instead. Even as she said it I could tell she didn't think I'd really make it. I think it was her way of saying they'd feed me if I became factionless."

"... But you do go to see them."

"Yeah... but it's not out of love. It's more out of spite than anything. To show them I'm not just living in Dauntless, I'm thriving. I'm the opposite of everything they tried to instill in me and I'm just bitter enough to want to rub it in their faces."

Four's silence makes me realize my words might be a little more harsh than he was expecting, so I look up at him with a grin. "Plus the food is incredible."

He cracks a smile. "Growing up in Abnegation I didn't even know food could taste so good."

"I can't even imagine," I tell him, wrinkling my nose and standing.

"Why did he call me a toy," Four asks quietly, catching me by surprise.

I shift uncomfortably and run a hand through my hair. "It's... complicated."

He nods. "Will you tell me someday?"

"... Yeah. Someday."

I reach out and squeeze his shoulder while offering a smile that I hope is reassuring.

He stands suddenly, his own hands reaching for my shoulders. He looks like he's just had an epiphany and he asks, rather loudly, "Will you go to the tattoo parlor with me?"

I bite my lips to stop a laugh from slipping out. "Four, you don't need a Dauntless member's permission to get a tattoo."

He flushes but shakes his head. "That's not it. I- will you just come with me?"

"Sure."

"Who's done your tattoos?" he asks while we wait in the parlor, examining the pieces hung on the walls.

"Tori does all of mine."

He nods and I see him reach for something from the corner of my eye. I glance over to see him holding the symbol of Dauntless: a fire inside a circle.

"That'll be an easy one to get done," I tell him. "They apply these ones on the wall differently than the others."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Because they're pretty common picks they have ways to apply them quickly and easily so they can get cranked out instead of having to spend half an hour on each one."

"Do you have any of these?"

Before I can answer there's a scoff from behind us.

"No, Car here likes to make everything more complicated for me," Tori says, smirking at me.

"All of mine are unique," I explain. "They're important to me."

She waves me off and takes the picture from Four. "Do you want this one?"

"Yeah." He reaches behind him and places a hand on his upper back. "Here."

Tori and Four disappear into the back for about five minutes. When they come back out Tori asks me, "Are you getting something, too?"

"Not just yet."

"Any other touch ups?"

"I dunno. You'd have to tell me how my back looks."

She gestures for me to show her and I shed my shirt without a second thought, turning to show her my back. She examines me closely, running a finger down my spine and making me shiver.

"You should be fine for a little while longer with this one," she says finally. "It's gonna be a fun one to touch up."

"It's gonna be a bitch and a half is what it's gonna be," I grumble, pulling my shirt back on.

She slaps a hand to my shoulder. "Don't be a baby about it."

I poke my tongue out at her before noticing Four's dazed look.

"Hey, what's up? You okay?"

He blinks, eyes focusing on my face before looking away with a growing blush. "Nothing."

Tori snorts from beside me. "We'll get you over that Abnegation modesty yet, kid. Car has a bad habit of losing her clothes."

"... He knows," I mutter, blushing and rubbing the back of my neck.

"Oh does he?" she asks, smirking and nudging me in the ribs.

I cough. "You remember how I told you about this last visiting day...?"

Her brows furrow a moment in thought and then her eyes widen in realization before she bursts out laughing.

If anything, Four's face turns an even deeper shade of red.

"I really liked that dress, too," I sigh. "It really brought out all my bruises."

"You just hate clothes," Tori jabs while returning the Dauntless symbol to the wall of tattoos.

"They're restrictive," I counter.

A cough behind us catches our attention and I turn to see another blushing initiate in Eric. He shifts awkwardly, not making eye contact, and finally Tori asks, "Just how many initiates have seen you naked, Car?"

I open my mouth and close it, trying to think of the proper answer as the two boys exchange a look.

"Half naked," I correct, though it's really not much of a defense.

"They must be absolutely scarred," she drawls, throwing me a smirk before turning to ask Eric what he wants done.

He gestures to his eyebrow and she moves to wipe down a chair and disinfect a large curved needle.

"Eric has seen you naked?" Four asks lowly in my ear as we leave the shop.

"Half naked," I grumble. "I was drunk and he was out past curfew so I had him help me back to my apartment. I think I asked him to help take my pants off? It's a little bit foggy."

"I guess that's not so bad-"

"I'd already taken my shirt off at the bar."

Four starts to laugh but it morphs into a groan and he rubs his face.

"What?"

"I told Eric that I'd gone with you on visiting day but I didn't tell him about... that."

"He probably didn't even hear anything," I say. "And if he did he probably has no idea what really happened."

"He's gonna ask about it," Four answers confidently. "I know it."

I shrug. "Tell him whatever you want. Or don't. I don't really care."

We're halfway back to the infirmary when he asks, "Why don't you care?"

"Four..." I shake my head and sigh. "People are going to think what they're going to think, no matter what the truth might be. I can try to correct them and waste everyone's time or I can just roll with it."

He looks like he's about to say something so I reach out and stop him.

"Don't worry about it, Four. You should be focusing on your simulations, not on my reputation."

"... Okay."

"Okay. I'll see you later, Four."

And with that, we part ways.

A/N: I don't even have a good explanation as to why this chapter took so long to get done but here it is! A bunch of filler and interaction between Caria and Four before we get into some real drama.

Also, since the question was asked a while ago I'll just go ahead and answer here: the pairing of this fic is very much Eric and Caria. She spends quite a bit of time with other initiates and other people because it exposes more of who she is as a character and how she may act differently around others. Fleshing out my characters and making them more interesting and/or realistic is important to me as a writer, which is why Caria isn't spending all her time attached to Eric. As an OC she has her own life and experiences within the Divergent universe (some of which are about to be brought up pretty soon). As for whether I'm basing Eric off the books or the movies, I'm mixing a bit of both, because I absolutely love Jai Courtney. It's going to be gradual though, little changes to his appearance here and there over the course of the fic.

Anyway! Thanks so much for reading and sticking with me and I hope this chapter at least sort of makes up for the long wait for an update. All favorites, follows, and reviews are greatly appreciated! Have a nice day!