A/N Ah, dear friends - we've come to the saddest point. The Posting of the Last Chapter. Always a sad time for me as I will miss all your love and support, the feeling that we're doing this together. You guys have been great.

And to all of you who start reading this story tomorrow or any time in the future. Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please leave a review if you feel inclined.

THANK-YOU!

Papaya

oO0Oo

Previously…

"He's okay." Henry said firmly. "Shawn's going to be just fine, Maddie. You don't need to do this."

"He's… he's alive?" She asked hesitantly, turning slightly toward him.

He didn't address her actions. There would be time enough for that later. Instead he said what she needed to hear: "Let's go see our son." The hand on her back slid around, lending both comfort and direction as he gently guided her out into the hallway.

Thankfully, Buzz's backup chose that moment to arrive, followed by Buzz himself. He looked a little sheepish, even though he didn't really understand what had transpired. Henry just nodded at him as they left.

oO0Oo

Madeline Spencer, the original target, had been kept from harm. Shawn and Juliet had been rescued, and would recover. Griffin would be incarcerated for the rest of his life, no chance for parole, not after this. Everything was going to be okay.

Now if only someone would tell Shawn...

When Shawn woke from the anesthesia, it was with none of the fogginess and confusion that usually accompanied such experiences. It was a jolt, waking up this way: suddenly coming fully alert, everything that had happened rushing at him all at once.

All things considered, a little vague disorientation would have been a kindness.

He woke to an empty hospital room which was, in itself, disturbing. Where was Gus? Where was everyone? Where was anyone? It wasn't the middle of the night, the sunlight filtering in through a window proved that. But he was alone.

He was also in an incredible amount of pain. It was hard to breathe. His chest felt ripped apart and raw and empty and none of these feelings had anything to do with the fact that he had been stabbed.

Juliet was gone. She was dead.

He'd 'lost' her once before and it had very nearly destroyed him, but that had been different: He'd had hope. He'd had hope that the loss wasn't permanent.

He knew then that he had hurt her, but he had also known that it was at least possible to get her back. There was at least a chance then that she would forgive him, and they could be together again.

Now there was no chance.

She was gone. She was gone.

That thought kept repeating over and over no matter how hard he tried to make himself stop.

How could she be gone? How was it possible that his sun – the center of his universe had suddenly been ripped away?

How could life continue? All the movies said that if the sun was gone the earth would turn cold and everything would slowly suffocate and freeze and die.

That was exactly how he felt.

And that wasn't his only source of pain.

Mom.

He'd practically told Mallow where to find Maddie. He might as well have driven his captor straight to her door, and handed him knives while he worked. He thought maybe he remembered his dad telling him that she was safe but he couldn't be sure. The thought felt woozy – more like a dream than the clarity of his memory. Probably it was wishful thinking.

He closed his eyes tightly, pressed his head back into the pillow, and tried not to cry.

Juliet was gone.

Mallow had taken his revenge on Maddie.

It was all his fault.

He considered ripping out all of his stitches just so that he could feel something else – anything other than regret and sorrow and loss. If only he could cause himself enough pain that the physical version would blot out everything else.

He never admitted it – not even to himself, but deep down he knew that there were four corners to his life; four people who kept him sane and centered and whole: Gus, Dad, Mom, and Juliet.

Shawn's world was listing heavily. It was going to capsize and sink to the bottom and he had no will left to try to stop it.

Without Juliet, he had no reason to live.

He didn't hear it but as his heart monitor sped up, down the hall at the nurses station an alarm began to beep softly.

oO0Oo

At the same time that Shawn was waking up, Henry and Maddie were headed for the recovery ward. Henry didn't know where the others were, but at the moment his priority was proving to his ex-wife that their son was going to be okay. He could still feel her trembling as he held her elbow.

Suddenly she froze. "What did I do, Henry?" she asked in horror.

He regarded her calmly. "Nothing, Maddie. You didn't actually do anything other than put the fear of God into a very bad heart." He smiled softly at her. "Any good parent would have done the same. I was tempted myself."

"Henry…" She protested. "I would have killed him if you hadn't stopped me." She looked at him with wide eyes.

Henry studied her for a moment before responding. "I don't think you would have. Not when it came down to it. You're not a killer."

When she started to protest, he cut her off. "I've seen killers, Maddie. So have you. And I've arrested more than one person who killed when they believed it justified." He took her hand. "They always believe they're justified." He looked into her eyes sincerely. "You're not them."

He urged her back into motion with the words, "No one needs to know anything about this. Nothing happened. Now let's go see if Shawn's awake yet."

At that moment, they were interrupted by the nursing staff hurrying past them down the hall into Shawn's room.

Henry threw one last glance at Maddie and followed.

oO0Oo

They entered as two of the staff were already leaving. The remaining nurse finished straightening his blanket and explained, "Shawn woke up and was feeling some distress. We've given him more pain medication and that should help him rest."

Both parents were sorely convicted by the fact that their son had woken up and they hadn't been there for him.

Thinking only of Shawn, Maddie hurried to his side and took his hand, trying to reach him before the medication pulled him under once more. "Goose? Shawn, honey? Can you hear me?"

Glazed, tear-filled eyes that were barely open turned to her and tried to focus. "Mom?" he whispered.

She smiled gently and leaned closer, brushing back his hair gently. "I'm here, Goose. I'm fine. You did it. You protected me. I'm safe." She squeezed his hand, hoping desperately that her words sank in before he succumbed to the pull of Morpheus.

She was not to have the comfort of knowing if he heard her or not. Her son's eyes had closed without any further reaction to her presence.

Henry placed a hand gently on her back as he stood near her. "He heard you," he comforted, not knowing whether he spoke the truth or not.

He gazed at his son, taking in every bruised feature, and comforted himself with the thought that in a week or two he would be back to driving his father crazy. Then he looked at his ex-wife as she continued to hold Shawn's hand with her left and stroke his hair with her right. Nothing would get her back to normal faster than just being with Shawn.

He nodded to himself and went to report to the others. He knew It would do wonders for Shawn if Juliet was also present the next time he woke.

oO0Oo

The next day found Shawn in a private room. He had minimal monitoring since he was well on his way to recovery. In fact, his doctor expected him to be released from the hospital in only a few days, although it would be weeks before he was able to resume his usual level of activity - longer if he didn't behave himself.

He had woken twice, once when he was being moved from recovery, and once when his doctor had done a post-op exam. Neither time had any family or friends been allowed in the room and Shawn had not spoken. He seemed to want to go back to sleep as quickly as possible and no one saw a reason to object.

At the moment Shawn was asleep and dreaming. He knew he was dreaming, and he liked it. He often had lucid dreams and had gotten pretty good at directing them. It was especially rewarding when he had a vague awareness that things were not pleasant in the real world. Then his dreams really felt like an escape - almost a forbidden vacation, like he was getting away with something.

He had nearly perfected the skill at the height of his parents' fighting. He'd been so tortured by their behavior and the belief that they were fighting because of him, that he often dreamt about them during the night. Being able to change those nightmares into dreams about more pleasant times had been his salvation.

He was doing it now. He knew that something was terribly wrong, something that involved Juliet.

Somehow he had lost her.

His dream had begun as a fearful scramble through a forest searching for her. He could hear her screaming in pain, crying out to him to come and find her, to save her, but he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't find her, couldn't save her.

His mother's voice had intruded too. Calling to him with the same desperation, but from the opposite direction. Now he had to choose who he would try to save.

It was unbearable. So he took ahold of his dream and wrenched it in a new direction. He focussed on Juliet. He concentrated on his most fond memories of their time together and slowly a new image began to form: Their romantic getaway. Sure, it had all gone horribly wrong, but it was still among his favorite memories. He concentrated on just one: He and Juliet, sitting at a small table on the patio. She, looking exquisite in candlelight and moonlight, as they lightly, and with humor, discussed their possible futures. He remembered the beautiful sound of her laughter as he'd suggested names for their quadruplets.

It was all happening again in wonderful dream perfection.

He started to panic when he felt himself beginning to wake up. He couldn't face what was waiting for him. He just couldn't. It was too horrible to even contemplate. But he was starting to be aware of his surroundings: He was lying down, not sitting with Jules at a linen covered table. There was pain…

Desperate, he pulled this new knowledge into the dream. Okay- he was lying down… but he was lying on a chaise lounge beside the pool. Juliet sitting next to him, in her bikini, holding his hand. The pain didn't exist.

He began to relax as he heard her voice. "Shawn? Are you awake? How do you feel?"

He wanted to tell her he felt glorious here in the sunshine next to the pool, gazing at her beauty, but his mouth wouldn't move. He held tight to her hand, trying to cling to the dream, but her hand, instead of lulling him back into the dream, pulled him towards awareness.

He concentrated on the feel of her hand in his. A feeling he would never again experience in real life.

In spite of his best efforts, he began to wake.

But the touch of her hand, instead of fading, became more tangible.

Without opening his eyes, he finally got his lips to move. "Jules?" he whispered, terrified that this awareness of her presence would suddenly vanish. "Jules?"

Her hand squeezed his. "I'm here, Shawn. You're going to be okay."

"Goose, honey? Can you hear us?"

As his mom's voice registered, his eyes opened in utter disbelief. Yes, he was lying in a hospital bed in a considerable amount of pain. And it really was hard to get his lips to move. But his mom was sitting to his left, gently running her fingers through his hair, and his beautiful Juliet was sitting to his right, holding his hand and smiling at him.

He blinked.

He felt tears welling up in his eyes and willed them away.

"Real?" he whispered.

Juliet smiled.

His mom's fingers left his hair and ever so gently caressed the side of his bruised face.

"I certainly hope you aren't in the habit of imagining me with two black eyes." Juliet chided while smiling lovingly, her own eyes filling with tears that she quickly brushed away with her free hand.

"Beaut'ful" he whispered, wondering again why it was so hard to speak even though he was now fully awake.

"Don't try to talk, Goose." Came his mother's gentle voice. "I'm afraid your jaw is wired shut for a while."

"But don't worry. You can still have smoothies." Juliet added.

Shawn looked up at his mom. "M's'rry"

Then her eyes filled with tears (Why was he making everyone cry?) as she leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "I'm so glad you're safe, Goose. Everyone's safe. And Griffin is back behind bars for good this time." She kissed him again before settling back into her seat.

He turned and gazed at Juliet. "Tho't you're dead." He whispered. "Thought I l'st you b'th"

Her eyes turned sad and she caressed his hand. But before she could speak, Gus arrived with a tray of large styrofoam cups with straws poking out the tops. "Is he awake yet?"

Sniffing, Juliet turned to him. "Just now." She smiled. "Did you bring the smoothies?"

"Hey, Shawn!" Gus grinned. "Everybody is having a field day with you having your jaw wired shut. I've never seen Lassiter so happy."

Shawn rolled his eyes, but tightened his hold on Juliet's hand.

Gus began handing out smoothies, announcing flavors as he went. "Mango." went to Maddie, "Acai" went to Juliet, "Whey To Go Bananas for me and… drum roll, please… Pineapple for Shawn!" He handed that cup to Juliet as well. "You wanna help him find a spot for the straw? Cause I'm not doing it." His voice was light and filled with humor, but when his gaze met Shawn's an understanding passed between them. They were all celebrating the end of a horrible ordeal, and the fact that everyone would eventually return to normal.

Juliet leaned forward to help as Henry arrived. "Hey Gus, you got my Tropical Twister with the energy blend?"

Gus handed over the final cup. "Right here, Mr. Spencer."

Henry grinned at Shawn and watched Juliet patiently guide the straw between his son's lips. "How's he taking the news that he can't really talk or chew for a couple weeks?" But like with Gus, Shawn could see the concern around his eyes.

Maddie smiled. "I think it's just now sinking in." she chuckled as Shawn's eyes widened.

"B't… B't…" He stuttered.

"Shh." Juliet coaxed gently. "You'll be fine. Just eat your smoothie."

Feeling the straw carefully with his tongue, Shawn took a sip. It was delicious, and the cold was soothing.

He looked around from Gus to his dad, to the mother he thought he'd betrayed and the beautiful girlfriend he'd thought had died because of him. They were all whole and healthy. They were all worried about him.

They were all going to be fine.

He took another deep pull from the straw and sighed in satisfaction. Who needed dreams when your reality was this good?

oO0Oo

END
oO0Oo