Author's Note: Time is immutable, or is it?

Epilogue 3: Reflections

Set in time 1 year before chapter 49 of Jealousy (the 'end' of the actual story)

...

I see another one.

Once again, the telltale signs of time are written on his face. Yet another wrinkle, this one near his left eye.

He's standing there on the grand balcony hugging me goodbye. Why magical business always calls him away today of all days I can only guess. Each and every year on the anniversary he is gone.

But perhaps it's better this way. The magical threads of fate protecting him from seeing me in pain, from seeing me mourn publicly for Sam as is required, as is customary. But perhaps he knows I would mourn anyway, and chooses to go.

He says goodbye with kind eyes and warm smiles before a final assault by the children, and then he's gone. Off to the southern realms, the reason doesn't even seem to matter. He reassures me he'll be back by the witching hour, and all I can do is wait.

I go about my day, but then the anointed hour comes. Aaron and Willow must stay behind. They have no reason to mourn, and can't understand why this needs to happen. I can't let Aaron go.

Yet another year has passed. The people have gathered in song at the base of the mountain. I had but a small inkling of the devotion the people had towards Sam's family. Their adoration borders on religious, and to them the passing of a king is of special significance, as if the souls of fallen dragon kings might guide them on their own journey through the netherworlds.

It's always the same. I find myself kneeling in the same place I did years ago, the same pain, and the same loss. As I kneel before the tomb hours pass while the people cry out in songs of remembrance, songs of heroism, songs of celebration for a life cut short entirely too soon. One day I'll die, and I'll be laid to rest right here, next to the fallen king. It won't be enough. It could never be enough. When I'm there all the words come out. The words I couldn't say, the ones I wish I had said. I'm usually drawn back into my memories, but today amongst the sorrow of the past I am plagued by the new wrinkle that streaked along Cedric's face.

I see it coming, the cruel and unyielding march of time. We were already so far apart in age. It never bothered me when I was younger; we had our whole lives together just waiting to be experienced. But now, now that we're getting older… That's not really true. He's getting older. The magic within me is keeping me young. Younger. Each day seems to separate our ages a little more. One day he'll be gone, and I'll be here, all alone, with only our children to keep me company. Then there will be two gravesites I visit.

Finally the ceremony is over. I walk to the gateway of the tomb and place my hand upon it. I've never entered. I tell myself that being here is enough, that remembering is enough, for both the people and myself. But it's a lie. I look to the distance and there upon the mountainside is yet another tomb. Now that I recognize the conjured tombs of the fallen kings I've spotted several around the base of the mountain. Hammond notices my fixation on the monument and sighs.

"Which king was he Hammond?"

"That would be where Eret's father fell."

The realization is horrifying and altogether expected. That Sam fell within striking distance of his father an irony not lost on her, and why Sam had spent so much time in the shadow of the mountain, enough so that the vision of his Nihmzahe had come to him there. He came often to mourn the departure of his beloved father. I catch Hammond looking around at the several other monuments, all in the shadow of the mountain. The mountain Aaron, made in the fracturing of the world. A sudden thought grips me, and filled with trepidation I stand and summon the courage to finally ask Hammond the question that's been festering in my mind for years, the reason I've never brought my son crystallizing in my mind.

"Hammond, have all of Drago's descendents died at the foot of the mountain?"

He confirms my fears.

I return my gaze to the tomb my hand still rests upon, and reaffirm my solemn vow in the quietest of whispers. "Don't worry, I'll protect him."

Not a minute after returning and Aaron has deluged me with hugs. As quickly as he appeared my son is gone again, bounding off to an adventure, or more likely a tussle with his sister. Oil and water, light and dark, as contrasting as… I try not to let my mind wander as to why, but on this day it's forefront in my mind. Perhaps that's why Cedric always leaves, and returns once it's over. This day acts as an unfettered span of time to let me mourn without worry for his feelings. Hammond also watches Aaron bound away, the affection of a lifetime spent doting on him clearly evident on the battle hardened man's face. Perhaps he's remembering Sam as a child as well.

"Hammond."

His attention is caught, but can I really command this? Is it my place to try and twist the hands of fate?

"Yes my Queen?"

"Aaron is never to go to the shadow of the mountain. Under any circumstances."

A deep, knowing sigh comes from the man, and slowly his head begins to nod. But then, another sigh. He's holding something back, and all the internal fears that seem to manifest when Cedric is gone come streaming forth. Hammond notices, and before I collapse inward he reassures me. "I understand my Queen. It is, after all, a dangerous place. It is central to our people, the summation of the magic that created our nation and the divinity of our kings, but I will instruct all to keep him from that place."

His reassurance for a minute calms my inner storms, and I stare after where Aaron has disappeared into the castle. A more affectionate child I've never known, but then again I didn't know Sam as a child, before his father was taken away by Sarai.

Sarai. Thrice I've tried to finally defeat her by forcibly removing the magic within her. They were all equally unsuccessful, but the last time… The last time Cedric almost didn't survive. He tried so hard to help, he was so brave in the face of unrelenting danger and overwhelming odds. I smile and almost laugh remembering how he used to be, so insecure and unsure of his magic.

But still it's not enough. I knew after the last battle going after Sarai with him would only end in our deaths. It's just not enough, I'm never enough. I'm brought out of the downward spiral by Hammond, who seems to know too much of what I'm thinking. Many years of practice reading the silent king has made him an excellent observer.

"You protect our kingdom, and his heir. He would rejoice in that Sofia."

"But Sarai's still out there, and until she's truly defeated we're not safe. Aaron's not safe. I just…"

I can't bring myself to say it. It seems a betrayal of the highest order, but then reality is never the fantasy one wants to make of it. I turn to look out over the mountains. Cedric is nowhere to be seen, and the sun is about to set. There will be several more hours before he's home.

"Your majesty?"

"I just can't defeat her without Sam."

His magic, his power. If he was only still alive somehow they could have worked together to defeat the woman and restore a lasting, meaningful peace to the world. The incursions on the dark continent, the ominous signs, they are always there below the surface. Cedric's ancestral spells keep the witch at bay, but for how long?

Bedtime, washings, stories of dragons, magic and heroic knights fill the air, and a pair of weary children doze silently in their beds. I stand above my own bed unable to enter dreamland, a poignant reminder that it's empty while Cedric is gone. The stab of loneliness only offset by the irrefutable knowledge that he'll be back soon, very soon.

But someday he won't be there. Time is marching onward, and as of late he's begun to grow tired. Always a night owl Cedric's now taken to sleeping just after the children go to bed. Time marches on. Last week it was a new grey hair. More and more have started to appear in places other than his bangs. He's aging. It's coming on slow, and with little children about the place and royal happenings the days are long, but the years, oh the years are so short. It seems like just yesterday Willow came along. How he doted on her, every coo, every cry was met with affectionate care. I'd worried how our son would take it, but he's such a kind and caring little man. I'd worried how Cedric would handle children, being so averse to them for years. But they're his, and he loves them in that way.

But the wrinkle is still stabbing at my mind, like a splinter refusing extraction in the worst possible way. It's mocking me. It's one of many now. Cedric's still so handsome to me though, in his own way. I've tried to ignore the signs, but there they are about his face for all to see. I've tried to distract myself, pretend it's not happening. I've tried everything to make this feeling go away. That… one day he'll be gone, and I'll still be here. I need to share another piece of him. I need to push this feeling far away.

Is it the magic? Is it the spell we've shared that makes me think this way? Or is it the magic we don't share. Or maybe it's something more? I can't help but feel like time is slowly slipping away. Is one lifetime enough? Is his lifetime enough? Would another make it better? Or would it just be… more?

Maybe one is enough. Maybe… that's all we need, that's all he needs. He's happy, and it makes me happy too, deep down, to know the joy his life has become. I can't bear to go to sleep alone and so I wait for him to return along the balcony. It will be a few hours still, but I can wait.

His thin fingers trail along my shoulder. I was so lost in thought I hadn't noticed his arrival. I fling myself at him, knocking him backward. He takes it well, considering I might just break him. Laughing aside he realizes my mood. I know he knows it always happens when he's gone, but still I can't make it stop.

"Spent the whole day upset again, didn't you? Honestly why you work yourself up is beyond me Sofia."

"I'm just so glad you're home."

I see a spark in him, that glint in his eyes when magic is afoot. It always made me flush with excitement and energy, but ever since the spell it also fills me with the warmth of place and purpose. Slowly he draws out a little vial, and I recognize it instantly.

"Well you see I was passing by a certain mountain you might recall if you try hard enough and something reminded me of a cheeky little princess who just had to drag a hapless sorcerer into the frigid night. Does that drum up any memories for you?"

I stroke my finger over it and recognize the swirling light within it. "You captured a bit of the solstice." I smile at his devious glint.

"Well yes, I thought it might brighten your mood. By Merlin you're always so somber when I'm gone."

"I just think about things. Sad things."

"I know dearest, I know."

It's time for sleep. I can see he's weary, and I try to convince myself that a long day of travel would make anyone tired. It seems to work, and I can feel my mood shift to a happy serenity just by watching him drift off. But I can't let him rest yet, the thought I arrived at earlier still weighing on me. Best to let him get drowsy before I ask though.

"Cedric?"

"Hmm…"

I curl up alongside him, for warmth, and something else. That got all of his attention. I didn't have to ask with Willow, he was desperate for her, but it had been so long and he seemed reticent for another. I drop my voice in the way I know he likes, "Cedric…"

I've got him. He snaps to attention. "Just a minute, let me grab some potion, love." I stop him. It takes him more than a few seconds, but the realization dawns. "But uh… are you sure about this? You've thought this through?"

Does it matter? In the end he agrees. He always does. Another piece that we will share forever. Another little love to manifest our energies on. We'll look back on it and agree that it was always meant to be that way, that our family wasn't complete without another. Sometimes I wonder if life and the business of living is really a choice, or something predestined. Is their some unseen hand guiding our actions, even now? Even without the aid of the Amulet, lost forever to history.

He fills the room with the light from the solstice. It mirrors my own soul, how he fills the corners of my existence with light and love. I know he feels the same about me, as if we were always meant to be.

THE END.

Author's Note: Well, this is it. The final chapter. I just want to give my deepest, heartfelt thanks to those of you who read this through to the end. Please feel free to review the story or PM me if you have any further questions, I'm happy to answer reader mail.