"That changes things!" Headmaster Dippet beamed. "Here is your wand back, Ruebus, and you may continue to take your classes as normal."
XXXX
"I swear on my magic that I, Sirius Black, was not the secret keeper for the Potters! It was Peter Pettigrew! So mote it be!" Sirius glowed a bright white.
"Well, I'm convinced," the auror said, holstering his wand. "And to think, we were going to throw you into Azkaban without a trial for the rest of your life."
XXXX
"I swear on my magic that I, Lucius Black, only acted as a Death Eater under the Imperius! So mote it be!" He glowed a dark black, and his wand made a farting sound before it crumbled into dust in his hands.
"That makes things considerably easier," Barty Crouch Sr. said. "Have him lined up with the rest expecting the Kiss and bring in the next one."
XXXX
"I am not the Heir of Slytherin! So mote it be!" Harry Potter glowed a bright white.
"Thanks, mate," Justin Fitch-Fletchley said, shaking his hand. "I almost thought you were trying to tell that snake to kill me. Haha, you would have been ostracized all year if that'd happened."
XXXX
Harry once again held his wand aloft. "I did not enter my name into the Goblet of Fire! So mote it be!" He glowed white.
Three quarters of the school immediately threw down their 'Potter Stinks' badges and got on their knees to beg forgiveness.
XXXX
For the third time, Harry held up his wand. "Lord Voldemort really did come back from the dead at the end of the Triwizard Tournament. So mote it be." Yet again, he glowed white.
"So?" Professor Umbridge asked with a shrug. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda a big fan of blood purity."
"He's a half-blood. So mote it be." Harry glowed once again.
"HOLY SHIT!" The toad-woman began handing out copies of Advanced War-Magics to the Defense class. "WE'VE GOT TO STOP THAT FUCKING MUDBLOOD!"
XXXX
Harry nervously looked at the assembled Death Eaters as they held his friends hostage in the Department of Mysteries.
"Voldy's a half-blood, so mote it be," he quickly recited, a glow surrounding him.
"Well that was a waste of my life," Bellatrix Lestrange said, shoving Neville Longbottom to the side and apparating away to become an accountant or something.
XXXX
Dumbledore looked about the ransacked living room with Harry at his side and sighed as he held aloft the Elder Wand with his good hand. "Horace, I promise you you will not be held legally responsible for your actions, nor will anybody save Harry Potter and myself be made aware of what transpired between you and Mr. Riddle. So mote it be." An aura of truth surrounded Dumbledore.
"Well why didn't you say so?" Horace said from his disguise as an armchair. "He asked about making seven Horcruxes..."
XXXX
Voldemort watched as Narcissa Malfoy crouched over the prone form of Harry Potter, his eyes narrowed fearfully (though he never would have admitted it. "Does he still live?" he asked of her.
She hesitated, then: "No, my Lord!"
"Say it, Narcissa!" he pressed.
"S-so mote it be!" Her wand made the same farting sound her husband's had so many years ago as her aura glowed black. Voldemort saw fit to simply send a bout of Fiendfyre at the pair, and was rewarded with the dying screams of the lady Malfoy and the Potter brat. And, evermore, the rest of the wizarding world.
XXXXXXXXXX
I solemnly swear that wizard oaths are dumb as hell, and if you want to be a good author, you should never ever use them, so mote it be. *Glows white with truthiness*