So this story is kind of an alternate universe branched off the amine. So everything up to right after Greed island happened but the chimera ant arch did not happen. I haven't finished the amine yet but I really wanted to write this story. I'm sorry to my Hetalia fans but right now i'm experiencing a writers block with the other side of the mirror. I'll try to get the next chapter out but I don't know when that will be.

There's no light in this small cabin. The darkness shadowing everything, wrapping it up in its blanket. In the thick blackness, bright blue eyes cut through, allowing him to see who he desperately needs and wants.

Gon is laying next to him on the floor, his body covered by the rag they're sharing as a blanket. He's so close yet so far. Killua can almost feel Gon's breath on his face. He could get closer. But he won't. The ex-assassin watches as Gon's chest raises and falls, being calmed by it. Those sharp sapphire eyes scan up from his chest to examine his face. Gon looks so peaceful asleep and so very, very vulnerable. Killua could just strike up, turning his nails sharp, and rip out his throat in a second. It would be so easy. Gon's guard is completely down.

Because Gon trusts him. He trusts Killua enough that he falls asleep with ease next to him. Gon has even gone so far as to saying "I sleep best with Killua by my side!"...How embarrassing. How foolish. How...

Killua can feel his cheeks turn red, the fire reaching his heart making his chest feel warm. His lips twitch up into a small smile and he can't stop it. Gon will never know how happy those words made him feel or how happy it makes him that Gon trusts him so. He would never voice it. He couldn't. He could never explain this feeling in words. Though whenever Gon speaks his feelings about how much he trusts or appreciates Killua, the ex-assassin will say it's embarrassing and tell him not to say that but in reality Killua loves it. He loves the praises and being reassured that Gon still finds something valuable in him.

Killua's eyes can see well even in this thick darkness so he's able to take in the features of Gon's sleeping expression. He doesn't seem to be dreaming about anything. He just looks so calm. His lips are slightly parted, soft breathes passing between them. Gon has changed over the years, Killua can see it in his face. His chin is more defined and his cheeks too. His raven hair has gotten longer, spiking up more and looking out of control. His skin is such a lovely shade of tan, the tone of his skin has gotten darker with age. His skin glows as if the sun itself has wrapped around him and has become his skin. Killua allows his eyes to wander a bit on his best friend's body, taking in how it has also changed through these four years. Gon's waist is still small but his shoulders have becoming a bit wider. The muscles in his arms have grown and become more noticeable. If the rag wasn't blocking his sight he could see the out line of his chest muscles through his shirt.

A lot has happened in four years. There has been pain, fear, death, but most of all...it's been fun. It's been great. For four years Killua has been by Gon's side. Fighting with him, playing with him, laughing with him, growing with him. Despite all the bad that has happen, Killua is still here. He's still by Gon's side. He hasn't left him. He will never leave him. If Killua lost Gon, he would lose everything. Wherever Gon goes, he goes. Where Gon calls home, is his home. Killua still might not have a goal for himself but he knows that he wants to be with Gon. That's his goal. To be the best friend he can be. T protect Gon at all cost and to keep him beside him.

Gon is a god. He's an angel. Gon has given light to his life. He's become his light. He's become his life. Despite what he is, despite what he's done, Gon still decided to be his friend, his first friend. He put all his trust in Killua. Gon trusts Killua with his life. That alone makes Killua's existence something worth fighting for. Killua wants to live. He wants to stay by Gon's side.

Just laying here on the floor next to him, staring at his sleeping expression, he feels warm. He feels like he could be anything Gon wants him to be. He doesn't have to be a killer. Gon's told him so. He doesn't have to kill...He just has to stay with Gon. Forever. They promised each other.

Killua is content with just laying here, watching his best friend sleep for the rest of the night. He doesn't need to sleep. He can go days without it. Sleeping would mean being apart from Gon. He doesn't want to. Not tonight. Killua has already told himself he can't get any closer. He won't take advantage of his friend. Gon trusts him. Killua tenses a bit...what would he think if he knew I watched him as he slept?

This has been going on for awhile. Killua thinks the first time that he stayed up just watching Gon sleep was when he had went to Whale Island with him all those years ago. After Gon said how much fun he had with Killua around, he had felt his heart flutter. He felt light. He had fun with Gon too. It was just hard for him to voice. So that night, he watched Gon and thought about everything. He decided then that he would never leave Gon's side. Just as Gon promised, he would keep it too.

I wonder if Gon would be creep out if he knew... Killua's hand twitches at the thought, his gaze averts for a moment in shame. Would he be mad? Killua has to stop a bitter laugh. If Gon would be creep out or mad when he found out about Killua's sleeping habits then he would be disgusted and pissed if he knew what Killua has done with Gon's friendship, what he's done with his kindness.

He's twisted it. He's tainted it. Killua couldn't just have his friendship. No. Killua has taken his friendship and twisted it into something more. He wants to touch Gon. He wants to taste him. He wants to keep him all to himself. He wants to kiss those lips that are parted. He wants to feel through his hair. He wants to hear Gon speak his name. Killua isn't stupid. He knows what he's done. He knows what he feels for his best friend. Killua has taken Gon's friendship and ruined it. Like a hand covered in black paint going into a bucket of white paint. It's no longer pure. Killua tried. It wasn't like this in the beginning...or had it been?

Killua has fallen in love with his best friend. He lusts after him. Wants him in every way. Killua's not sure when this happened. It could have always been like this for all he wants to blame it on growing up. That's where all these desires have come from but deep down Killua knows maturating has only made the desires grow. He's had them all along. They were innocent enough at first. First, wanting to be Gon's friend. Then wanting to always be beside him. Wanting to be the one he relies on. Wanting to be so close to him. Wanting to touch him. Wanting to smell him. Wanting him to smile at him only. Wanting to feel those lips on his...It just got worse and worse. Gon has grown and Killua has noticed it. It was on Killua's 14th birthday that he realized he thought Gon was attractive. Then he couldn't stop noticing how attractive he was. How strong and rough he would be with him, only to be gentle and smile at him. It's grown and grown. Now that he's 17...He just wants to tear into Gon. He wants to claim him as his.

Killua's breathing picks up speed along with his heart rate as he stares intently at his friend's lips. They're begging to be kissed. It would be so easy. He could quietly move closer and steal a kiss. He would be Gon's first...or at least he hopes that he would be. Killua's eyes narrow at the thought of someone else kissing Gon only for him to take a deep breath.

He won't do it. He won't steal that from Gon. Killua doesn't deserve his first kiss or any for that matter. He knows how to restrain himself. He's gone through more torture than this. He'll keep all these feelings hidden and be the best friend Gon wants him to be.

Only when the lights are out, and darkness hides him. Only when his friend is asleep will he show his love, his longing and his want for him in his eyes. This is the only time he can be honest. The only time he can think about what could be, and what will never be.

Killua's glad the darkness is hiding him, that no one can see his face. He's sure he looks like a fool. A love stricken fool.

"...Ging..." Gon's eyebrows furrow, his eyes squeezing tighter for a moment. Killua closed his eyes quickly when he sensed his movement worried Gon would wake up and catch him staring at him but when he heard that name, he quickly opened his eyes. Killua frowns at the look on Gon's face. He's still asleep but he's having a dream. Probably a nightmare. Killua sighs, we haven't' found any leads on where Ging is in awhile. He's been moving fast, covering up his tracks. He really doesn't want to be found...but Gon won't stop till he finds him.

Killua will be with him all the way.

"We'll find him." Killua whispers in a soothing voice. Hoping that it doesn't wake Gon up but calms him down.

Gon's eyebrows slowly unfurrow. His tense body relaxing. "Killua..." Gon breathes out in his sleep, getting the ex-assassin to shiver, and his heart to flutter. His name sounds so sweet coming from those lips. At first he was worried that Gon had woken up but there was no change in his aura. Kullua has been with Gon long enough that he can tell the slightest change in his aura. He knows when Gon's asleep and he knows when he's getting ready for something big. He knows Gon in and out. At least he likes to believe that.

Gon suddenly rolls over, moving so that he's now laying on top of Killua's arm. The weight doesn't bother the ex-assassin but the heat does. He's too close. He's laying on him. He should move him. But before Killua can make a move Gon lets out a content sigh, rubbing his head against Killua's chest.

Shit. He can't move him now. He doesn't want to. Killua's eye lids lower as he slowly wraps his arm around the other boy, wanting to hold him close. Gon is breathing against his neck now. Killua's body is tense, his heart is pounding against his chest. This feels so good. He can smell him, that earthy smell. He can feel his warmth and his muscular chest against his torso. He can feel his breath and hear the ever so quiet snort he makes.

Killua takes a deep breath, willing himself to not get excited. He can't lose himself now. Gon trusts him. He can't do anything to him. Holding him is enough. Feeling him is enough.

So Killua holds Gon in his arms the whole night, never letting go. Gon snuggles up to him, he's even drooling on his shirt now but that's okay. Killua's happy with this. He'll hold back. He'll keep himself in check. But he burns for Gon. He burns him in all the possible ways.

I want you Gon...Killua wants to say this. He wants to whisper it in his ear but he doesn't. He just lays there with the other boy laying on him. He shouldn't want anymore than this. All the other desires he'll fight.

So in the morning, when Gon wakes up, he'll never know the thoughts Killua has had about him. He'll never know how close he was to kissing him. When Gon wakes up, Killua will hide his feelings away and be the best friend he deserves.

Or at least he'll try to. Things never go as planned with Gon much to Killua's dismay. It will be his doom or his salvation. He'll never know.

Instead of fighting with his desires all night, Killua allows his eyes to shut, Gon's breathing becoming a lullaby.

Gon's eyes shoot open and when he sees the light pool in from the small holes in this cabin, he grins. He blinks when he feels that his head is on something firm and moving. He looks up to see Killua's face mere inches from his own, his breath felt on his cheeks. Gon wrinkles his nose a bit at the smell of morning breath but his amber eyes light up. "Wow Killua you're a nice pillow." Gon sighs as he nuzzles his head on his best friend's chest. He's able to hear his heart beat. Huh? It's beating pretty fast-

"Idiot." Killua's speaks hoarsely from his mouth being dry. Soon enough he has Gon in a head lock. "Don't say something so weird!"

Gon can't help to chuckle as he struggles against his friend, gripping his forearm and using a rocking motion to roll Killua over. "But it's true! I thought I was going to be all stiff when I woke up, but I feel amazing!-"

"How can you just say stuff like that?!" Killua and Gon roll around on the floor, the raven haired male chuckling, while the other is trying to hide his blush as they wrestle.

"It's easy! I just open my mouth and-" Gon opens his mouth wide as if to demonstrate only for Killua to let go of him suddenly, Killua getting up and jumping away from him, covering his nose.

"Gon your breath stinks! You need to brush your teeth."

"Hey! You stink too!" Gon frowns only to beam at his friend soon after, standing up.

"When we get into the city we definably need to wash up. We've been camping out here for a couple of days now." Killua's eyebrow twitches at Gon's comment but when Gon beamed at him he quickly averted his gaze, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah we probably should before we meet up with Leorio and Kurapika." Gon's eyes shine at the mention of his friends. He can't hide his grin and soon he's jogging in place. "I can't believe we finally get to see them again! It's been so long! Leorio is a doctor now and Kurapika's...well I don't know! But we'll find out what he's been up to soon enough!"

"Yeah." Killua smiles at Gon's expression, those blue eyes softening. He quickly changes that though with a smirk. "They're going to be impressed with how much I've grown, I don't know about you though. You're still a kid."

"I am not!" Gon points a finger at Killua, glaring at him. "You might be a little bit ahead of me but i'm not far behind. They'll be impressed with us both." Gon smiles then. "I know I'm impressed with you Killua. You're amazing. I couldn't have gotten to where I am today without you."

Killua's playful smirk is quickly wiped off his face. His blue eyes widen only for him to quickly hide his face with his bangs but Gon can still see the smile on his lips. "You and saying these things...You're still embarrassing."

"I'll keep being embarrassing if speaking how I feel is embarrassing." Gon grins before he grips his fists, those amber eyes shinning. "Lets hurry and head to the city Killua! I can't wait to show them what we have learned! And I just can't wait to see them!"

"Yeah!" Killua looks up, smiling slightly, those blue eyes of his gleam. Killua leans back from his waist, placing his hands on his lower back, stretching. "I'm ready when you are. While we're in the city we should get some new clothes. We didn't come prepared for camping out." Killua sighs when he glances down at his white shorts that are stained with mud and dirt. Gon had the idea of traveling to the city by moving across this forest instead of just taking a train. He wanted to be in nature and see the wild life. Killua had agreed that it would be more interesting than taking a train. They decided not to bring anything with them, to see if they could survive by their hunting abilities alone. Killua doesn't want to brag but after watching Gon fish, he's gotten pretty good at it. He could live out in the wild, if Gon wanted to.

"Nope! That's what makes it fun. We made such good progress that we'll be in town soon right?"

"Yeah. This cabin had been abandoned awhile ago but i'm sure it's close to the town. We've been going straight since we've come into this forest so if we keep going we'll reach the town soon enough." Killua lifts his arms above his head before pulling on his elbow, stretching his arm.

"Okay do you want me to get us breakfast? Or do you want to wait till we get into town?" Gon runs over to the Cabin window that is busted open. He peers out of it, beaming at the sight before him. This forest is beautiful and it reminds him of Whale island. The trees around the cabin sway sightly against the wind, the light peaking through the leaves. There's birds in the trees and a couple of squirrels chasing each other on the ground. Being out here with Killua, nothing but him and his best friend and nature, has been great. It was fun fishing with Killua and exploring this forest. "We should camp again some time. It was a lot of fun."

"We should wait to get into town and then get something to eat." Killua puts his hands in his pocket, kicking at the cabin floor. "We should do this again."

Gon nods, smiling out of window. After a moment his eyes become glossed over in thought. It's been so long...

"Gon?"

"Hm?"

"Is something wrong?"

"Not really. It's just been awhile seen we've gotten a lead on Ging hasn't it? 3 years without any hints or clues." Gon mumbles, watching the squirrels absentmindedly. "I wonder if i'm doing something wrong or maybe i'm not looking hard enough? Ugh what if I missed something?" Gon groans feeling his brain going on overdrive thinking of these 3 years and all the people he's met and if there was something that he could have missed. Just the smallest thing could have lead him to Ging and because he wasn't paying attention he-

"You didn't Gon. I've been with you this whole time. After Greed Island the trail went cold. The accompany was a dud. NO one was there. We searched that place the best we could." Killua frowns slightly.

"I hope we find a clue soon." Gon hums before he leans away from the window. He looks back at Killua to see him frowning. "It's okay Killua! We'll get a lead soon! And then I can finally introduce him too you! I can't wait." Gon beams, the light coming back to his eyes. Killua's eyes widen a bit before they soften and he smiles. "Ready to get moving? I wonder if Leorio and Kurapika are there yet?"

"Lets find out." Killua grins at Gon as they walk out of the cabin. "First one to get to town wins! Loser has to treat the winner."

"You're on!" Gon grins back. They smirk at each other for a moment before they take off running, their forms becoming a blur of white and black. Killua is in the lead but Gon is close on his tail. Gon passes Killua only for the ex-assassin to grab Gon's shoulder to force him back, a Cheshire cat grin on his face.

"Hey!" Gon chuckles as he jumps, using Killua's shoulders to hop over him, making himself in the lead again.

"I won't let you get away with that!" Killua laughs and soon the race turns into a pushing match between the two. Both of the boys grinning, smiling, laughing. Killua's chest feels light as it always does when he's around Gon, and Gon just feels happy, like he always does when he plays with his best friend.

Gon can see the town coming up through the trees, his eyes shine and he picks up the pace. He's going to make it! He's going to beat Killua and get a treat! Gon is stopped short of his victory when Killua soundlessly bounces, jumping pass Gon and taking off running at a greater speed than before. Gon cries out in surprise as he tries to keep up with his best friend and pass him again but it's too late.

"I win!" Killua throws his arms in the air, coming to a stop outside of the forest, a large grin on his face, and the look of victory in those blue eyes. He smirks at Gon as he comes running after him, stopping once he's out, panting a bit.

"Aw damn I was so close!" Gon groans, throwing his head back and stomping his foot like a child which only gets Killua to laugh at his best friend.

"You owe me a treat." Killua's smile turns cat like as he puts his arm around Gon's shoulder.

"Yeah." Gon grumbles before he smiles. "I'll get you next time! What do you want?"

"Oh i'll think of something." Killua winks before he lets go of Gon, putting his hands in his pockets, he starts to walk off, whistling.

"Okay." Gon runs a bit to catch up before he's walking side by side with Killua, his amber eyes taking in the town in front of them. It's small but Gon's sure they have plenty of shops. There's a lot of people walking around and it looks like if they keep walking forward they'll hit the town square.

"Lets get some new clothes first before we head to the hotel. There we can wash up and get something to eat." Killua glances around at their surroundings, taking in the many buildings, searching for a clothing store as they continue to walk on. He's also taking in the people around them, his keen eyes looking for anyone that seems suspicious or a threat. It's an old habit of his but there's nothing wrong with being aware of your surroundings. It's saved himself and Gon plenty of times.

"Sounds good." Gon nods. He notices that they're getting a lot of looks from the locals and when they walk close to someone their nose wrinkles. Gon chuckles. "We smell really bad."

"Who's fault is that?" Killua glances over at Gon before he starts scanning for a clothing store. He's aware of the stares as well. It doesn't bother him. He doesn't care that he stinks or looks bad for these people but a part of him feels a bit self conscious when Gon looks at him. Killua knows Gon stinks too but still. Killua likes to look his best for Gon. Despite the fact Gon probably doesn't even notice.

"Mine." Gon gives him a cheeky grin. "At least we stink together." Gon makes himself laugh at his comment. It feels like as long as He's with Killua it doesn't matter what they're doing or how smelly they are. Gon always has fun.

"Idiot." Killua grunts but he gives Gon a smile, that insecurity going away momentarily. He blinks when he spots a clothing store to the right of Gon. "There's a store there. We won't be able to try the clothes on since we're dirty but we know our sizes."

Gon follows Killua's stare, spotting the store he's talking about. The sign on top of it reads "Ross." Gon turns his body and starts walking towards the store, weaving his way through people with Killua right by his side. A couple of people bump into them only to cringe at the smell and quickly move away. Soon the people are making a pathway for them. Gon can't help to chuckle.

"I don't think we smell that bad." Killua's eye twitches. "I think they're over reacting."

"Killua could you call Leorio and tell him our plans?" Gon looks over at Killua as they walk into the store, many of the shoppers look up and stare with confusion.

"Sure." Killua pulls out his cell phone from his back pocket, the Beetle he bought four years ago still working great. He goes to Leorio's contact before pushing call. He follows behind Gon with the phone to his ear, his eyes looking around at the racks of clothing. So far nothing has caught his eye-

"Hey! Where have you guys been? I've been trying to contact you for days!" Leorio starts off shouting into the phone, getting Killua to pull the phone from his ear for a moment.

"Calm down we had our phones off."

"We went camping!" Gon jumps into the conversation, being able to hear Leorio.

"Camping? Well you could have kept your phones on! Are you in town now?"

"Yup we just got here. We're going to buy some clothes before we head to the hotel and wash up. Where's the hotel?"

"It's in town square. You won't miss it. I already payed for your guys room. I hope you don't mind sharing a room but I thought it would save me some money if you two bunked together. There's a fold out couch so you won't have to sleep in the same bed."

Killua's heart starts to beat a bit faster at the thought of sleeping with Gon. He's done it many times before but each time it feels like the first. He acts like an embarrassed school girl with a crush. Killua can't help the disappointment he feels when Leorio mentions the fold out couch. Well maybe I don't have to let Gon know... Killua shakes his head. "I don't mind sharing. Me and Gon usually bunk together."

"Good! Just tell the receptionist your names. Your room is next to mind. Once you're ready come over. I have something to tell all of you."

"Oh?" Killua raises his eye brow. Gon suddenly grips his arm, getting Killua to look down at him only to feel his throat go dry at those big amber eyes that are looking up at him, straining to hear the conversation. It's too cute. He's too cute. Killua can feel his warmth on his arm. He quickly looks away, trying to focus on the conversation at hand.

"What's he saying Killua? Is Kurapika there?" Gon stands on his tip toes, trying to lay his head on the opposite side of the phone so he can hear too. Now that Leorio isn't shouting he can't hear him anymore.

"He's saying he's gotten us a room at the hotel and that he has something to tell us." Killua glances at Gon only to quickly look away, his bangs covering his eyes. Gon pouts. He likes Killua's hair but those bangs get in the way a lot. They block his face from him. "Is Kurapika there yet?"

There's a pause on the other line. "...No not yet. I've been trying to reach him too but he hasn't picked up. I'm sure he's coming though. He said he would!" Leorio speaks reassuringly. Killua wonders if he's reassuring them or himself.

"Kurapika isn't there yet." Killua says to Gon without looking at him, knowing he's still looking cute and he's still clinging to his arm much to his pleasure and dismay. Gon doesn't understand what he does to him. "Alright old man we'll meet up with you soon."

"Okay good- hey don't call me an old man! I'm only-" Killua hangs up the phone, a smirk on his lips.

"Let's look at the clothes now." Killua still can't look at Gon but his heart is beating faster. Gon is still hanging on to his arm. Will he stay like this?...I hope so.

"Okay! I hope Kurapika will be here soon." Gon lets go of Killua's arm, turning his attention to the clothing racks around them. He doesn't see the slight slumping of Killua's shoulders.

"Yeah." Killua puts his hands in his pockets, following Gon, the warmth of his best friend still lingering on his arm. It felt nice having Gon cling to him. His body so close...Killua shakes his head and composes himself. Stop it.

Gon looks around in the men's section, unaware of the internal fight his best friend is having beside him. Gon looks around at the selection, thinking of his friends he hasn't seen in so long. Leorio has something to tell us? I wonder what it is. I wonder if Kurapika has found all his people's eyes yet. I hope he's given up on revenge...He'll make himself sick.

Gon grabs a white wifebeater, and a pair of green sweat pants. I can use this for training and sleeping in. Gon wonders if he should just wear this when he sees his friends. He looks over at Killua who has already picked out a black shirt and blue sweat pants. Looks like he had the same idea as me...Gon smiles but knowing Killua he'll probably pick something else to wear. Killua has always been more fashionable than him. For the most part Gon would wear the same thing, not bothering to change much but Killua has worn many different outfits through the years. I should wear something different too.

Gon looks at the clothes again, trying to find something that catches his eyes only to stop on this one shirt, his eyes lighting up. "Killua!"

"What?" Killua looks over at Gon only to blink when Gon holds a light blue shirt towards him with white roses on it.

"You should get this Killua! It would look good on you. It would go with your eyes." Gon states with a big smile, getting Killua to sputter, his cheeks getting red before he could stop them.

"what's with you s-saying these things! You should be looking for clothes for yourself idiot." Killua grumbles, his bangs hiding his face away from Gon again. The raven haired hunter frowns.
"But it would really look good." Gon pouts getting Killua to tense, his fingers twitching. Gon unaware how close his best friend is from pouncing on him. "Fine I was just trying to help you out." Gon huffs before he puts the shirt back, looking at it with disappointment. When Gon thought about Killua wearing this shirt in his head it looked perfect. The light blue going with Killua's blue eyes and the white roses matching his hair. Those bangs would be brushed out of the way so he could see his face completely. Gon sighs. Oh well. Gon leaves the shirt and starts looking around for himself.

Killua watches Gon walk off before he looks back at the shirt Gon had picked out just for him. Killua's cheeks turn pink. He said I'd look good in this shirt. Killua remembers the pout on Gon's face and his heart flutters. How can I not get the shirt now? Killua grabs the shirt off the rack and hides it under the black shirt he already picked out, too embarrassed to show Gon that he's getting the shirt yet. Killua picks out some jeans that he thinks will go well with the shirt. Satisfied with his clothing choices he looks over at Gon to see how he's doing.

Gon is staring hard at a clothing rack, rubbing his chin, his eyebrows furrowed. Killua is about to ask if he needs help only for Gon to groan. "Killuaaaaa can you help me?"

Killua winces at the way Gon calls him, inwardly groaning. Gon don't say my name like that! You're too much really! "Sure." Killua walks up to Gon.

"I can't figure out what I want to wear. I'm not good at clothes shopping. You've always been good at picking good clothes to wear. You always look stylish. I want to look good too." Gon mumbles, his eye brows scrunched.

Killua's eyes widen slightly. So he has noticed? Killua feels light from Gon's complements and he grins when he hears Gon mumble the last part. "Aw but you always look good Gon-" Killua almost chokes when the words are out, his eyes widening. He whips his head over to look at Gon in horror, his blood turning cold. I've screwed up! He'll know! He'll want nothing to do with me-

"Really?" Gon blinks looking over at Killua. He looks surprised. "But I always wear the same thing. You wear something different all the time and the clothes always go together." Gon smiles brightly. "that makes me feel good that you think that Killua! It doesn't bother me but at least I know I don't look bad to you."

Killua's cold blood suddenly turns very warm again. His heart flutters and picks up speed. Gon wasn't embarrassed by his comment. He didn't even act like Killua saying he looks good was strange! He really is dense. Good...of course when Gon acts like this it feels me with false hope. Hope that he likes me as I like him... "Will you still help me pick out something nicer though?" Gon's question snaps him out of his thoughts, he wills his cheeks to turn pale before he looks back at Gon.

"Sure Gon." Killua smiles and he knows it's a bit bigger than it should be as he happily starts going through the clothing rack, picturing everything on his best friend in his mind. He picks out a black shirt, thinks for a moment before putting it back. Gon looks best in light colors. His favorite color is green so maybe I can make a compromise. "So what's with the sudden interest in clothes? And looking good?" this is news to Killua. This is the first time Gon has asked him to do this or has said anything about looking nice. Is Gon growing up now?

"I'm not sure." Gon thinks about it. He thought about Killua always looking nice so he wanted to dress nice like him too. He shrugs. "You always dress nice so I wanted to dress like you for once." Gon sees Killua tense a bit in the shoulders before he starts looking through the clothes again. Why did he tense? Does he think i'm copying him now? "I also wanted to look nice for Leorio and Kurapika. It's been so long." Gon adds.

Killua smiles to himself, a giddy feeling overwhelming him. Gon wants to dress good to be like me? Killua feels honored. He looks through the clothes with more vigor only for the feeling to fade when Gon says the last part. Killua frowns. He wants to look good for Leorio and Kurapika? I guess that makes sense. It has been a long time. But for some reason Killua can feel the dull burn of jealously in his chest. He quickly puts it out. What's wrong with me? It's not like Gon likes Leorio or Kurapika! Leorio is an old man and Kurapika...he's old too. Gon probably doesn't even like men. Though the last thought dulls the jealously it almost makes him ache inside. Gon doesn't like men. He wouldn't like me.

Instead of letting himself fall into depression he pushes the thought from his mind and focuses on the clothing in front of him. Gon being beside me is enough. It's a lie but he'll believe it. He'll hold on to the lie to keep him sane.

Killua's eyes light up when they fall on a dark green shirt with a black shadow of a fish. As soon as he saw it, it screamed Gon to him. "What do you think about this?" Killua grabs the shirt and holds it out for Gon to look at. "it's nothing fancy but it would be different than what you usually wear. Also you could wear some jeans with it. There's not too much to choose here from."

Gon stares at it for a moment, Killua shifting a bit thinking he's going to dislike it only for Gon's eyes to get bright. "Cool! It has a fish on it! Thanks Killua!" Gon takes the shirt from Killua. He walks over to the jean rack and picks out a dark pair of jeans. "Is this good?"

"Yeah that will look nice together." Killua smiles, his mood instantly restored by his friend's smile.

"Alright! Lets pay for these and get to the hotel! I'm so excited!" Gon beams before he runs to the front of the store, Killua right beside him, those eyes watching him soften. "We would like to buy this." Gon smiles at the man at the register, putting his clothes up on the counter. He looks at Killua. "Would you like me to pay for yours too? It could be your treat."

"Nah i'll pay for my own. This isn't want I want to spend my treat on." Killua winks.

The man at the counter looks between them. His nose is wrinkled but he starts ringing Gon up, watching him warily. Killua glares at the man. He's acting like Gon's going to steal something.

"Okay." Gon smiles at his best friend.

"Your total will be 3,000 jenny."

"Okay." Gon takes out his hunter card and swipes it on the card reader, the man's eyes widen but he doesn't say anything.

"your receipt." the man mumbles, handing him the piece of paper before he puts the clothes into bags and hands them to Gon. Killua places his clothes up next, taking a deep breath knowing Gon will see the shirt he picked out-

"hey!" Gon's amber eyes get bright when the cashier pulls out the blue shirt to ring up. He looks over at Killua with bright eyes. "You're getting the shirt!"

"yeah, yeah don't make a big deal about it." Killua waves him off, averting his gaze.

"Yeah! You should put that on right after we wash up! It'll look great!" Gon's eyes are too bright.

Before Killua can scold him for being embarrassing ,the man in front beats him too it.

"Are you two like...together?" He rings up the last of Killua's things before putting the stuff in bags. Killua can't stop his face getting cherry red. He opens his mouth to answer only for Gon to beat him too it.

"yeah we're together!" Gon shouts loudly, smiling brightly. "We've been together for four years!"

"Gon!" Killua sputters, looking at him with horror. Killua knows his best friend. He knows that he's not meaning romanticly but the fact that they've been traveling together. He can't stop himself and he hits him over the head, hiding his face. He's so embarrassed...but manly at himself. He can't deny the nervous happiness he felt at Gon saying they're together, even though he knows it's not the way he wants.

"Ow what was that for?!"

"For being an idiot." Killua grumbles, the blush reaching his ears.

"You've been dating for four years?" the man stares at them in disbelief after watching Killua just smack the other boy.

"Dating?" Gon blinks, turning to look at the man. "No we've been best friend for four years! We've never been apart since we met! At least most of the time we were together." Gon remembers they were separated a bit after the hunter exam.

Killua makes sure he doesn't show his disappointment. Yes, friends. Remember that Killua. His blush fades and he glares at this man. "Stop asking us questions and just tell me what I owe you."

"4,000 jenny."

Killua swipes his hunter card and the man hands him his receipt. "Come on Gon lets go." Killua grabs his bag of clothes before marching out of the store, pissed off that guy would ask a question like that. Of course they're not together. It should be obvious to everyone. Why did that guy have to bring up something that he can't have?

"Is something wrong Killua?" Gon catches up to his friend, looking over at him.
"That guy just pissed me off." Killua grumbles.

"Why? He wasn't mean." Gon tries to think if the man had done something that would make Killua mad but he can't think of anything.
"First off he was looking at us like we were going to steal something second of all he asked if we were in a relationship with each other. That's ridiculous. Two men being together." Killua scoffs like he's disgusted, trying to desperately hide what he's really feeling, his body tense, waiting for Gon's response. "He thought we were gay."
"Gay?" Gon blinks, not really understanding what the problem is. "What's gay mean?"

Killua can't help but to hit his hand to his face, groaning. Why does Gon have to be so innocent? Why doesn't he know anything? Killua doesn't want to have to explain this but he already started so mind as well finish. "Gay means that you like another male if your a male. Like if you liked a boy just like you would like a girl." Killua mumbles, feeling his stomach twist, ready for Gon to say something like 'ew' or 'i'm definably not gay then'. He'd rather hear the latter then the former.

"Oh so that's why he asked if we were dating! I didn't know two men could go into a relationship." There's no disgust in his voice. Only curiosity. "How does it work?"

Killua's cheeks tint. "Why are you asking me?" He coughs. "And aren't' you pissed that he thought we were dating?...that we like each other." Killua doesn't know why he's pressing. He should stop before he gets hurt. He's playing with fire.

"No i'm not mad. We do like each other!" Gon smiles.

"Not romanticly though!" Killua closes his eyes, he almost shouts but he keeps himself in check.

"...What's the difference?" Gon tilts his head. Killua groans. Why Gon? Why?

"There's a big difference stupid!" Killua growls, pointing a finger at Gon.
"Then explain it to me." Gon glares a bit at Killua calling him an idiot with that look on his face.

"You should know this! Since you're the one experienced with dates and all." Killua huffs, jealously rearing it's ugly head.

"Well all the ladies were nice to me so I liked them but I don't like them as much as I like you." Gon hums, thinking back to his dates on the island. He doesn't notice Killua's face turning bright red before he hides his face with his bangs.
"Why are you so dense?!" Killua sighs in frustration. Gon just doesn't get it. Killua doesn't know if he can explain it to him.

"If I have it wrong, teach me then Killua." Gon looks at him with determination. "I don't get it. What's the difference?"

"The difference is that you want to kiss the person you like romanticly! You think they look attractive and you love the person that they are. You want to hold them and touch them. You want to be with them all the time and you think about them all the time." Killua growls out but his heart is beating too fast. It almost feels like he's confessing though he knows Gon's not aware of it. "You want that person all to yourself and you'll do anything for them."

Gon thinks back to some of those romantic movies he watched with Mito-san. He remembers seeing the lovers kiss, and hug and do the stuff Killua is talking about. So that's the difference between the like he has with Killua? But it sounds a lot alike. Gon thinks about Killua a lot and he wants to be with him. He'd do anything for Killua. Gon hasn't thought about if he would want to Kiss Killua. He thinks Killua looks good, he's in great shape with a nice muscular frame. His hair is a bit longer, like a big white main. Gon loves the person Killua is too. Gon thinks hard, still trying to think of the difference, or if there's even a difference between this romantic like and the like he has for Killua.
"So now you know." Killua grunts, snapping Gon out of his thoughts. "I'm taking a shower first when we get up to the room." Killua marches ahead.

"Okay." Gon frowns, not really understanding why Killua is acting like he's mad at him. Maybe he's irritated because I didn't know the difference? Killua always has to teach me things. I wonder if he's getting tired with how dumb I am? Gon shakes that off, keeping up with his best friend. The whole thing was just hard to grasp because Gon hasn't felt romanticly for anyone. At least he doesn't think so. He didn't want to kiss the older women he went on dates with. It seems the difference between the two likes are very thin. Gon knows he shouldn't talk about it anymore so he looks around for something to talk about or something that will cheer Killua up. He knows it must be hard having a friend like him.

When they get into the town square, Gon's eyes light up when he sees a small stand selling pastries. "Hey Killua look! Do you want to get a snack?" Gon catches up to his friend, and smiles.

Killua had time to calm down as they were walking. He feels bad he snapped at Gon because of his feelings. It isn't Gon's fault he's sick. Killua looks over at his friend when he calls him, and when he sees the smile, all that anger and frustration fades away. Gon is looking at him like he's unsure, afraid Killua will snap at him. He frowns and He looks over at the stand he's talking about and nods. "Sure those cupcakes look good." don't look at me like that gon...I don't mean it.

"Yeah!" Gon brightens up when Killua starts acting normal again. He grabs his friends arm before pulling him over to the shop, Killua gasping at the sudden touch and being pulled. Once again, Killua is feeling warm. How can Gon just bring so many different emotions out of him? "Which one do you want?"

"that one." Killua points at a purple cupcake with a butterfly on it. It looks like it would be the most sweet. Killua gets ready to take out his card only for Gon to beat him too it.

"Could I get that purple one please." Gon smiles at the lady, handing his card to her. She nods, smiling as she gets the cupcake out. She hands it to Killua who is staring at Gon, those blue eyes becoming bright again, and his chest light.

"Hey I didn't say I wanted this to be my treat." Killua grumbles, looking down at the cupcake.

"It's not! I just wanted to buy it for you!" Gon grins brightly at his friend as he gets the card back, thanks the lady and starts walking. "Where is the hotel?"

"right there." Killua points to the large building across from them. His lips twitching up in a smile as he takes out the plastic butterfly and sinks his teeth into the cupcake. So sweet. This cupcake can't even compare to Gon though. The two boys walk in a comfortable silence as Killua enjoys his treat and Gon's watches him from the corner of his eye. Killua is thinking this is all he needs, while Gon is thinking that this is all he wants. One of them is lying and one of them is being honest.

But they both want to be together like this. Forever.

"This feels so much better!" Gon sighs happily as he comes out of the bathroom, wearing the outfit Killua had helped him with, teeth and hair brushed. Steam escapes through the bathroom door when he walks out. The warm water felt so nice on his skin and scrubbing away the dirt felt like heaven. The bathroom is great too! Painted a nice blue with a large shower. The room that Leorio got them must have cost a lot. In the room there's one large bed with a window next to it and a couch next to the wall with a large screen TV on it. The floor is covered with white carpet and the wall is a cream color. It was nice of Leorio to pay for this room. Gon's train of thought stops when he walks into the room and his eyes fall on Killua.

Killua is staring out of the large window, staring down at the town. He's wearing the shirt Gon had picked out for him. It fits nicely against his muscular torso, and shows off his arms. Killua has his arms crossed, those blue eyes glossed over, and his white hair framing his face. Just like Gon thought. Killua looks great in the shirt. He looks pretty with the white roses. It would complete the look if he had a blue rose in his hair. If I find one I should ask if I can style his hair. Even from here it looks like Killua's eyelashes are long and his long hair just adds to the picture. He looks powerful and pretty at the same time. Gon feels this strange feeling inside his chest. He feels warm and he has the urge to get closer.

"Wow Killua you look great!" Gon can't help to shout, smiling brightly. He's happy too that Killua bought the shirt he wanted.
"Gon!" Killua tenses at the sudden outburst, looking at Gon only to feel his heart skip a beat at the way Gon is looking at him and his words. Killua's cheeks turn pink. He opens his mouth to comment but Gon's look has him speechless. He's frozen by him.
"I knew that shirt would look good! It makes your eyes pop." Gon beams. He frowns when those bangs get in the way of seeing Killua's face. He moves over to his friend quickly. "This would make it perfect!" Gon pushes his friend's bangs out of the way, revealing those large blue eyes that are looking at him with surprise and something else. Killua's cheeks are so red. He really gets embarrassed too easily. "There, that's better."

"G-Gon..." Killua's voice gets lower, those wide eyes becoming half lidded. The slight gives Gon another weird feeling in his body. He hasn't seen this look on his best friend before. He doesn't understand what it means. Killua is leading closer too, his hands resting on Gon's shoulders. Killua pulls him closer till their chest touches. As soon as their bodies connect, Killua's eyes snap back open. He jumps back in a blink of an eye, shock on his face. Gon frowns, tilting his head. What was that? Killua's never done that before.
"Killua?" Gon takes a step closer.
"Ah sorry I was just..." Killua averts his gaze, his bangs covering his eyes but Gon can see how red his face is. All of a sudden Killua looks back up, a grin on his face, the blush gone. " ….distracting you!" He puts his hands on his hips. " I was going to push you down for embarrassing me so much but I decided against it once I got a better look at you." Killua turns his back to Gon, chuckling oddly. "I'm so proud of myself. You look good in the outfit I picked for you. I didn't want to dirty it." Killua is losing his touch with lying. Gon just threw him off with his words and that look he gave him. It made him all warm and happy. He was really about to kiss Gon then. He almost couldn't stop himself.

That was too close. Wayyy too close.
"Oh." Gon tilts his head. The distraction definably worked. Gon blinks when he thinks more about what Killua said and he grins. "I think it looks good on me too, Killua. You have good taste."

Killua takes a breath and calms down, glad Gon bought his terrible lie. He turns back around to look at Gon who is looking down at his clothing. Killua allows himself to quickly check his best friend out. The dark green shirt goes well with him, every move he makes his muscle can be seen moving under it. The dark color make his amber eyes look even brighter than they already are. Killua thinks he may have done a too good of job.

"Yeah I do." Killua grins, putting his hands in his jean pockets.

"Lets go see Leorio now that we don't stink!" Gon chuckles before he runs out of the room excitedly, Killua walking slowly behind him,still trying to calm down his heart. "Leorio it's us! We're here!" Gon pounds on the door, almost knocking the door off the hinges in the process.

The door opens soon after with Leorio standing there, a grin on his face. His eyes light up when he sees Gon. "Gon! Look at you! You've grown up! It's been years!" Leorio wraps his arms around Gon, giving him a bear hug. "Seriously what happen to that little boy I met all those years ago? Seeing how big you've gotten almost makes me feel old."

"That's because you are old." Killua grunts, smirking when Leorio glares at him only to grin soon after.

"Killua! Still the little ass hole I remember. You've grown too. Your hair has gotten long!" Leorio takes a step back, looking between the two, shaking his head. "Man time flies. It's been years and yet here you two are, still together just like you were back in the hunter exam and afterward. It's refreshing." He chuckles. "You two both look strong. I have to say I'm a bit jealous. I wouldn't want to have to fight either of you. I can just feel it coming off you two. Wow." Leorio grins before stepping to the side. "Come in, come in! Let's talk in my room instead of out in the hallway like a bunch of weirdos."
"You're the weird one." Killua stuffs his hands into his pockets as he follows Gon into the room. "You know I'm surprised. I thought you would be walking with a cane or something or look even more old but you haven't changed much." Killua studies Leorio. He looks the same height, his build is a bit bigger but really he looks the same.
"Yeah! You haven't changed at all!" Gon nods, smiling.

"Psh don't change what isn't broken. Told you I'm not old. I'm in the prime of my life!" Leorio glares at Killua only to smile, holding out his arms. "Feast your eyes."

"Ew." Killua snorts, and Gon just laughs at his friends.

"I missed you Leorio." Gon cuts in before Leorio can start a fight with Killua. "How was school? Was the exam hard? Have you started working as a doctor yet?"

"Ah I missed you too Gon. I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch. School was brutal. So much paper work and so much money spent. I did odd hunter jobs in my free time so I really didn't have time for too much chit chat. I thought about you guys though. The exam was pretty hard but I knew I would pass. There's no way I wouldn't have." Leorio laughs loudly.

He didn't think he would have passed...Killua rolls his eyes, this simple minded man so easy to read.

"I've gotten a job at the hospital at my home town. I'll be working there after I finish business here."

"Business?" Gon and Killua blink, this catching Killua's attention.

"Well once Kurapika is here I can tell you what I mean." Leorio gives them a grin. "Don't worry, it's not bad."

Killua gives him a doubtful look, raising his eyebrow. He looks at Gon to see if he thinks this is suspicious. "Alright! Sounds good!" Gon gives him a thumbs up, smiling brightly. Of course Gon wouldn't sense the weird atmosphere. He's too dense! Killua looks at Leorio, really studying him. The man is picking at his pants, his eyes slowly moving around. He looks restless. No, nervous. What is he nervous about? If there's nothing wrong?

"So what have you two been doing?" Leorio stops looking around to look at them, he smiles, that nervous air leaving him. "Did you find your dad Gon?"

The boy in question tenses, his eyes lowering. Killua frowns looking at his friend in concern before sending Leorio a glare. He knows Leorio didn't know but still. He'll get pissed at anyone that upsets Gon. The older man seems to realize his mistake and frowns.

"No luck huh?"

"I wouldn't say that. We learn a lot in Greed island. Me and Killua became a lot stronger." Gon smiles but his eyes aren't as bright. "We beat the game and we got to take three cards home. We decided that we would take 'accompany' which is a card that takes you to anyone you've met in the game. There was a name in the list of players that I didn't remember meeting. I thought I was Ging so we used the accompany card out of the game to be transported to him. I believed we were going to finally see Ging." Gon groans. "But he wasn't there. There wasn't any body there. It was a dead end."

"We searched everywhere. There was no other clue." Killua puts a hand on Gon's shoulder, knowing he doesn't need his support, but he wants to give it. "We've been searching for a clue from Ging ever since."

"Man he did not make it easy for you did he?" Leorio frowns, a flash of anger comes to his eyes before he cools it down.

"No and i'm glad." Gon suddenly smiles brightly, catching both Killua and Leorio off guard. "If it was easy then what would be the point? Ging wants me to be worthy enough to find him. If I can catch him, i'll prove to him i'm worth knowing."

"Gon." Killua stares at his friend in awe, at the determination in those amber eyes, before he smiles softly. Glad the fire is still there and strong.

"And i'll find him someday. I've gotten a lot stronger. It's only a matter of time before I find Ging. I'm excited to see him."

"I know you'll find him." Leorio smiles. "If it's anyone who can do it, it's you Gon." Gon smiles, those eyes full of fire, fuel is added to his fire with his friend's support. "So what did you two do after looking for clues?"

"We just trained. Brisky ended up finding us again." Killua makes a face. " We trained. Worked on our techniques. We explored." Killua tries to sum up these 4 years but it's a bit hard. They did so much. Killua's only summarizing it.

"That doesn't tell me much, I already knew that." Leorio grumbles before looking at Gon. "So was the game worth all that money that old geezer bought it for?"

"Yeah! Greed island was awesome. I had a lot of fun." Gon beams. "Ging did a great job making it! I got to met some of my dad's friends too! Didn't you have fun Killua?" Gon looks over at Killua.

"Yeah I did. It was interesting." Killua averts his gaze, scratching his cheek, remembering Gon's words in the game.

"Thank you. I'm so glad that I met you." those words had set Killua aflame. That may have been where he realized this deep love he has for Gon. Or maybe it had just opened his eyes to it. Killua had fun. He had so much fun because he was with Gon.

Leorio watches the two with a smile but soon he's back to messing with his pants and looking from side to side. Looking at the door then looking at his clock. "So...did you guys stay in touch with Kurapika?"

"It was hard to reach him. He usually didn't answer our calls if we did try to call him." Killua shakes his head. "The last I heard from him was when we were trying to beat Greed island. So years and years ago."

"Yeah I haven't heard from him in awhile either. We talked a bit more after we met in yorknew city. We talked a couple of nights but they weren't long conversations. The last time I talked to him was a month ago when I told him I had passed my exam and I wanted to arrange a get together here with everyone. He said he would come so now we're just waiting on him. Damn guy is late. Who does he think we are? He's acting like we have all the time in the world." Leorio grumbles.

"What's the rush?" Killua questions.

"I guess there isn't a rush." Leorio sighs as sits down on a couch, Killua and Gon sitting on the bed next to each other.

"Are you worried he won't come?" Gon frowns. Killua's surprised that he hit the nail on the head.

"N-No of course not. The bastards going to come. He better come. I paid for his room and everything!" Leorio's eye twitches, his face getting red.

"I hope he comes. I want to see Kurapika! It's been so long. I've been worried about him. Did he say anything about the troope when he talked with you?"

"No nothing." Leorio suddenly gets serious.

"I wonder if he's given up on his revenge." Killua glances over at Gon to see what he thinks. Gon is just staring down at the floor, he looks deep in thought.

There's a knock at the door getting everyone to look towards it. Killua doesn't miss how Leorio's whole face lights up. But Gon is the first one at the door.

"Kurapika!" Gon shouts, his smile bright as he flings open the door. It gets even brighter when he sees it's really his friend standing before him. Kurapika has gotten a bit taller, and his blonde hair is to his shoulders now. He's wearing his blue traditional slash with black clothing underneath. He doesn't look much different but Gon can tell he's grown. He's stronger now. His gray eyes light up when they met with Gon's.

"Ah Gon, Hello." Kurapika smiles as he walks into the room, his eyes falling on Leorio and Killua next. "Leorio, Killua." He nods at them, his smile staying.

"What took you so long?" Leorio grumbles but there's a skip in his step as he walks over towards Kurapika. Gon closing the door and taking his spot next to Killua.

"I ran into some trouble so it took a bit longer to get here than expected."

"Trouble?" Leorio's smug look falls and he frowns. "What trouble? You alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine. It was nothing." Kurapika gives him an reassuring smile before looking over the three others around him. "It really has been four years hasn't it? It's hard to believe but as soon as I saw Gon I knew it was true. You two have grown a lot."

"I've grown more." Killua grins when Gon gives him a look.

"Yeah right! I've grown more!" Gon puts a hand to his chest.

Kurapika watches as the two boys go back and forth, his gray eyes softening. This is nice. Gon and Killua are as close as they were 4 years ago if not closer. Kurapika watches them, noticing this different look in Killua's eyes when he looks at Gon. It keeps disappearing so Kurapika's not sure but it kind of looks like-

"So what have you been doing? After I last saw you at yorknew." Leorio's voice breaks him out of his thoughts. He looks over at the man who is slightly taller than him instead of towering over him like all those years ago.

"I've been searching for my brethren's eyes, taking jobs that will get me into the black market to track those that have purchased them. It's been more difficult than I first expected. I've gotten half of them so far. I've plenty more to go." Kurapika looks at Leorio but he can see that Killua and Gon are now looking over at him.

"Do you need any help?" Gon gets closer, those amber eyes eager.

Kurapika smiles at his friend, the light in his eyes so nice compared to the darkness he's been in these couple of years. "No. This is something I must do myself."

"Okay just remember that we're always here if you need us! Right Killua?" Gon looks back at his friend. Killua smiles from being brought into it, nodding.

"Yeah."

"Oh congratulations Leorio on becoming a doctor. You've reached your dream." Kurapika smiles gently over at the older man.

"Yeah! Congratulations!" Gon cheers.

"Congratulations old man."

"You guys." Leorio scratches his cheek, they're a bit pink only for his eye to twitch at Killua's comment. Gon once again steps in before there's a fight.

"So what did you want to tell us Leorio? It sounds like it's important." Gon gets in front of Killua, his eyes full of boyish wonder.

"Ah yeah that." Leorio turns away from everyone, staring at the wall, his back towards them. "I guess it's time to say it. Well I..." Leorio scratches the back of his head. "It's been so long since we've been together like this. And from what I gathered from you all is that you're still working on your goals." Leorio's voice is low. "So once this meeting is over, we probably wont see each other for a couple of more years right?"

Gon frowns. Killua doesn't respond.

"That's true. This is a life of hunter. Separation and reunion is an normal occurrence." Kurapika closes his eyes, looking away. "Really it's the life of any human being."

"Right." Leorio takes a deep breath before he turns towards them, smiling. "So why not make this time together special?" He pulls out 4 pieces of paper from his jacket. "I've gotten us four plane tickets to an awesome island. It's a resort with a lot of historical value. They have a beach for swimming, plenty of beach games. They have many competitions there like dancing and arm wrestling, and fishing. They have a dungeon challenge and caves that are full of treasure, anyone willing can go down to try to get it but they say no one's come out." Leorio grins when Gon looks like he's about to pop from excitement. "There's a cooking competition and they have the best chocolate cake in all the land." Killua eye brows raise at that. " They have an amusement park and a water park! This place is amazing! The view is gorgeous. They have a natural wild life reserve and I'm sure many more cool things!"

"Wow that sounds amazing!" Gon's eyes sparkle, gripping his fists.

"Doesn't it?" Leorio looks at Killua and Kurapika, many Kurapika. He knows Killua will follow Gon so once Gon is in, Killua is pretty much in too. "So what do you guys say to a vacation? I already have the hotel picked out and our rooms are paid for the first week!" Leorio looks between everyone. "I was thinking we could stay there together for a month. It would be a nice break from everything and we would get to spend time together without worrying about enemies or whatever. so...what do you say?"

Killua glances towards Gon who is biting his lip, shaking his fists up and down like he's a child again. Those amber eyes excited. Killua smiles softly. Well, my minds made up. As long as Gon wants to go then i'm okay with it. This island sounds interesting.

"I'm in! A month isn't long and we'll still be able to train! I want to go in the dungeon and the caves! I want to swim and compete in the fishing competition! I want to go to the amusement park and-" Gon is speaking so fast, Killua wonders if he's getting a breath in.

"Down boy." Killua pays Gon on the head, but he can't help the smile on his face. Gon whips over to look at Killua, those amber eyes so bright that it makes him want to glance away but he doesn't.

"Don't you want to go too Killua?!"

"Yeah I do but i'm not going crazy about it." Killua chuckles. He beams secretly when Gon grabs his arms and starts shaking him.

"Killua freak out with me! The dungeon sounds so cool!" Gon squeals, almost getting Killua to blush but he holds it. God he's so cute.

"Oh alright." Killua closes his eyes before they open and he grins largely. " The dungeon sounds awesome!" Killua starts shaking Gon back, both cracking up afterward.

"So Gon and Killua are in." Leorio chuckles at the two boys before he looks over at Kurapika. He feels a bit worried when he sees that Kurapika is looking down, those gray eyes glossed over in thought. "What do you say Kurapika? It could be like old times. A month isn't too long." He tries.

"Well..." The blonde closes his eyes.

"Aw come on Kurapika! It will be fun!" Gon grins over at his friend.

The blonde opens one eye to look at Gon before he looks over at Leorio who is also looking at him hopefully. Kurapika sighs. This was a trap. "Okay." Kurapika smiles. "I'll come. I suppose taking a month off will be okay." will it really be okay? It's going to have to be...I can pick up where I left off when I get back.

"Like hell it's okay! It's going to be great." Leorio's eyes light up and he grins at the blonde's answer before looking over at the younger two males. "now that we decided, lets talk about the bills. I'm covering the first week. I think we should rotate each week for the hotel rooms. We all pay are own way into the attractions. Does that sound fair?"

Everyone nods.

"So then it's settled! We'll head out in the morning to catch the train at 8:00 am. It's a 10 hour trip in total. 8 hours by train then 2 hours by boat. So are first day at the resort will be just settling into our rooms and getting some rest."

"We should also plan for what we are going to do for the day after." Kurosawa speaks up, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"So how many rooms did you get?" Killua keeps his face blank but he's a bit worried about what Leorio will say. He's hoping he'll be cheap again and get a room for him and Gon to share. Killua isn't use to sleeping far from Gon now. He likes to be close. As close as he can be to his best friend.

"Well the rooms are a bit pricy there. I couldn't talk my way into lowering the cost." Leorio grumbles "So I only got two rooms. So two people are going to have to share a room-"

"I'm with Gon." Killua cuts him off.

"like I didn't see that one coming." Leorio grumbles but his lips do an odd twitch. "Guess that means you and me are sharing a room."

"...I guess I don't mind." Kurapika crosses his arms.

"You guess?" Leorio's eye twitches.

Kurapika gives him a light smile, enjoying the normal feeling of this. It's just like old times. They're all together, teasing and having fun as if there isn't a care in the world. This vacation will be interesting that's for sure.

"This is going to be awesome! I was just starting to get bored too! Maybe we'll run into some monsters to fight in the cave Killua! Wouldn't that be great?" Gon grins at his friend. He feels too hyped up. This vacation sounds like too much fun. "And the best part is that we're going to get to spend a whole month together! I'm happy."

Killua watches Gon go on with his excited rant, those blue eyes soften. Kurapika smiles at his younger friend. Gon will always have a special place in Kurapika's heart. He's like a precious little brother or a son. Gon had interested Kurapika from the start. Ever since Gon had jumped out to grab a hold of that man's ankles, almost losing his own life in the process, Kurapika had his eye on him. Gon's kindness and simpleness got to him and won him over.

"Im happy too." Kurpika gets his happiness out of that bright smile that hasn't been dulled over the years. Killua suddenly stops looking at Gon to look at Kurapika. The blonde doesn't let his smile fall but Killua seems to be studying him now. Ah, maybe I've been staring at Gon for too long. Killua is one to notice small details.

"You know what makes me really happy?" Leorio walks over to the mini fridge in the room, he opens it up and pulls out a large bottle of champagne. "Some bubbly! Lets have a toast! To cerebrate this occasion!"

"Leorio, Killua and Gon are too young." Kurapika gives him a disapproving look.

"I'm pretty sure you're under age too." Killua grunts.

"I'm not going to give them that much! I'm sure you two have already had alcohol before right?"

"Yes." Killua's nose wrinkles.

"No." Gon blinks, looking at the bottle of champagne with curiosity. "Does it taste good?" Gon blinks again, looking over a Killua. "Wait when did you have alcohol?"

"I said I was immune to poisons." Killua shrugs his shoulders indifferently. "Alcohol included. I've been trained."

"Alcohol is a poison? Then why would we drink it?" Gon frowns at Killua. He doesn't like hearing Killua say that. Killua hasn't talked much about his past but Gon knows that it was bad. He knows they hurt Killua to train him to be a killer. Killua was suffering long before Gon even knew him. Thinking of that mansion gets him to grip his fist.

"It makes you feel good." Leorio chuckles, ignoring Killua's statement. It's not something to dwell on. "It lets you unwind and it just opens you up. It's not poison like It will kill you but if you drink too much it messes with your head a bit."

"messes with my head?" Gon frowns over at Leorio who is busying himself with getting out a couple of glasses. He pops the cork on the bottle before pouring it into the glasses.

"Leorio." Kurapika warns, glancing over at Gon.

Killua doesn't say anything but he's shifting a bit.

"It's fine! I'm not giving him much and he's 16 teen years old. He can have a glass! He's not a kid anymore! Right Killua?" Leorio looks to the other teenager hoping to get someone to back him up. Killua looks up in thought for a moment before looking at Gon.

"A glass won't hurt. I'm actually interested in seeing how Gon will react when he takes his first sip." Killua's smile is cat like.

"That settles it! Two against one!"

"What about you Gon? Do you mind?" Kurapika crosses his arms. "Don't let them peer pressure you."

"We're not peer pressuring him! What are you his mother?" Leorio grunts.

"No I'm interested. If Killua and Leorio say a glass won't hurt I trust them." Gon smiles at Kurapika to reassure him. Kurapika sighs.

"Alright I guess that settles it then."

"Damn straight!" Leorio grins as he hands everyone a glass. Gon stares at his, inspecting the clear liquid that is has filled his glass half way. Gon isn't aware of it but all eyes are on him. He takes a experimental sniff only for his whole face to scrunch up.

"It doesn't smell like it's good."

Killua can't help to chuckle at the look on his friends face, both Leorio and Kurapika cant stifle their chuckle either.

"It's not going to smell good just take a big gulp of it when we do the toast." Leorio chuckles before he holds up his glass. Kurapika and Killua also hold up their glasses so Gon follows their example, not really sure what's going on now. "So who wants to start?"

Gon glances between everyone. Kurapika speaks up. "I'll go first. Lets toast to Leorio becoming a doctor and reaching his dream. You've done great Leorio." The blonde smiles at his friend, the older mans cheeks tinge slightly but he grins.

"Lets toast to being back together after four years!" Leorio shouts.

"Lets toast to this vacation." Killua offers.

Everyone looks at Gon who only stares back at them blankly. I think I'm suppose to say something. Killua is looking at him with amusement, Kurapika has a patient smile on his face. Leorio is grinning at him. No one explained to Gon what a toast was but after watching everyone else do it, Gon thinks he gets it. He's suppose to say something he's happy about? Something to celebrate.

"Lets toast on our friendship." Gon holds up his glass as high as he can.

"Amen!" Leorio cheers. "Now we clang our glasses together and take a chug." Everyone starts moving their glasses closer slowly so Gon follows suit till all their glasses touch making that clanking sound he was talking about. Gon immediately takes a chug of the drink just like Leorio said, ignoring how bad it smells. Killua and Leorio wouldn't let him drink something that would really hurt him. He trust them. So he'll listen to their instructions.

Gon swallows, regretting it immediately. The liquid feels hot as it goes down his throat and his esophagus making his chest feel warm. The liquid itself tasted strange. Like strawberries mixed with rubbing alcohol with bubbles in it. "Blah." Gon shakes his head, showing his distaste for the drink before he looks over at Killua. He's surprised when Killua chugs the whole glass in one go. His face never changing as we swallows. Gon can only look at him in awe. Killua chuckles at the look his best friend is giving him and the look of disgust on his face.

"You didn't like it Gon?"

"NO! It was nasty!"

"I thought so too."

"But you just chugged it all?" Gon stares at Killua in disbelief when he shrugs his shoulders indifferently. Some times he feels like he'll never understand his best friend.

"This champagne was cheap. Not the best. Not all alcohol tastes like that. I'll find a drink that you'll like." Killua winks.

"Hey! Shut up! Be grateful I even shared my alcohol with you." Leorio growls.

"If you think you can find a drink I'll like then okay. I trust you Killua." Gon smiles despite the bad taste in his mouth. His head feels a little fuzzy too. It's not a bad feeling. Killua's playful smile falls a bit at Gon's honesty. He quickly looks away, his bangs hiding his face. He nods, not looking a Gon for a moment. I'll find you something worthy of those lips...Killua wills his blush to leave him and his heart to stop fluttering. He just wants to grab his best friend and kiss him senseless. When he says he trusts him it just makes him so warm. It's hard to bare. It's like he's on fire. Even if it's something simple like finding Gon an alcoholic beverage he'll like, Killua will take it seriously. He'll act goofy about it but he always comes through for Gon. Killua just wants to please his best friend after all.

Kurapika raises his eyebrow, noticing Killua's behavior. He takes another slip of his drink, taking a deep breath. He looks over towards the window, his eyes widening when he sees how dark it's gotten. It's late. Time sure flies with these guys....Kurapika smiles.

"You two should get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long day." Kurapika speaks up when Gon suddenly yawns.

"Aw but I wanted to talk with you guys some more!" Gon pouts.

"They're will be plenty of time for that kiddo." Leorio smiles. "We're going to have a whole month together. I'm probably going to get ready for bed soon."

"Come on Gon." Killua puts his hands in his pocket before he turns on his heel and starts heading towards the door. He's ready to get away from the other two. It's hard enough dealing with just hiding his feelings from Gon but he doesn't like the two extra eyes that could catch him in a time of weakness.

"...Okay." Gon follows after Killua before he turns back at his two friends. "Good night! See you tomorrow!" he waves, walking out with Killua, the door shutting behind them.

Kurapika waves, smiling. "Will you stay with me and have a few more drinks?" Kurapika looks over at Leorio who is pouring himself another glass. He smiles, unsure. "I feel like we have a lot more to talk about."

"...Sure." Kurapika takes a seat in front of Leorio, letting the older male pour him some more champagne. "What more would you like to talk about?"

"anything. Tell me what you've been up too. It feels like we haven't been able to talk in forever even though we've talked a bit on the phone a month ago." Leorio drinks before locking eyes with the blonde.

"What I've been doing isn't interesting." Kurapika looks down at the drink in hand before taking a sip. "I'd much rather hear about how your schooling went and now that you're a doctor what you're planning on doing."

Leorio takes another drink before letting out a chuckle. "I'm making my dream come true Kurapika. After this vacation i'm going to go back to my home town and treat the sick. I'm not going to let anyone lose someone to disease on my watch. It will be expensive but I'll work as hard as I can."

"I"m happy for you. You're a good man Leorio."

"I'm not that good." Leorio waves him off but Kurapika can tell the man is beaming. "Now let me tell you about my schooling. It felt like all I was doing was sitting on my ass and reading the whole time and..."

"I forgot how hungry I was!" Gon finishes stuffing the last couple of french fries in his mouth, closing his eyes to savor the flavor. He rubs his stomach, satisfied with the cheese burger and fries Killua and him got at the restaurant in the hotel.

"Me too we were so busy with getting ready to see everyone that we forgot about getting something to eat." Killua sighs in contentment, moving his trash to the side to lay on his stomach on the soft large bed.

"I know that Kurapika said we should get some rest but now that I've gotten something to eat I don't feel like it." Gon lays down next to Killua, staring at the TV that isn't turned on. "Are you tired?"

"No." Killua gets comfortable next to his friend, well aware that their arms are touching. He won't move away.

"We should do something fun." Gon smiles over at his friend. "Tomorrow we're going to have plenty of time to rest on the train."

"What do you want to do?" Killua raises an eyebrow, glancing over at his friend.

"I don't know what do you want to do?" Gon gives him a cheeky smile, Killua giving him a pointed a look.

"Don't' start that again." He grunts but his lips twitch into an amused smile.

"Ugh but I don't know what to do Killua." Gon rolls so he's on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He stares for a moment. "I'm really happy about this vacation."

"Me too. It sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. I"m looking forward to the chocolate cake."

"Of course you are." Gon chuckles. "I'm looking forward to everything. It's been so long since we've all been on an adventure together." Gon smiles to himself, the smile soon fades from his eyes though. "...I hope while I'm gone I don't miss anything from Ging."

"you won't." Killua puts a hand on Gon's shoulder. He wants to offer comfort but a part of him wonders if he's touching Gon for his own benefit. Killua has noticed that he's more touchy feely with Gon. The other boy hasn't said anything about it. Killua wonders if he's even noticed. When they were 12 Killua didn't touch him much but as the years went by he became more open with Gon. The more open he became the more he touched Gon and wanted to touch him. "You won't miss anything. Don't worry about that."

"Yeah you're right." Gon smiles again, enjoying Killua's hand on his shoulder. It feels nice knowing Killua is there for him. He isn't judging him either. He can feel it in his touch. Gon jumps up in the bed and grins at his friend. "Maybe we can find a game to play, or something to watch on TV or something!"

"What game?"

"I don't know." Gon scratches the back of his head as he gets off the bed. He turns on the TV and starts flipping through the channels. Not finding anything worth watching he groans. Gon doesn't like being bored and he doesn't want Killua to be bored either. He thinks to himself as he takes off his shirt and starts to unbutton his pants.

"G-Gon what are you doing?"

"I'm getting comfortable." Gon blinks, looking back at his friend in only his boxers. Gon doesn't feel the less bit self conscious. He's been naked in front of Killua many times.

"Well don't just start taking off your clothes." Give me a warning first. Killua averts his gaze, trying to keep himself from checking out his best friend. As soon as Gon started taking off his clothes, Killua's breathing had picked up. He couldn't stop himself from taking in that muscular back or from going lower to look at that nice plumped ass. Gon's body is perfect.

"Why not?" Gon blinks at his friend.

Killua doesn't answer. He just sits up in bed and takes off his shirt and pants as well, leaving his boxers on. He moves over to the dresser to pull out his blue sweat pants. It's not cold in here but he wouldn't be able to sleep with Gon in just his boxers. Killua knows he would get excited.

Gon watches as his friend puts on his pants. The raven haired boy finds himself following the creases of Killua's abs. The ex-assassin has always been in good shape and with age he's only gotten bigger. Gon feels this strange feeling in his stomach when he looks at his friend, with his hair brushing against his shoulders and his bangs framing his face. Gon feels drawn to his friend as he slowly gets back on the bed and crawls towards him. He gets on his knees on the bed and starts pulling Killua's hair back, running his fingers through his hair as if he's going to put it into a pony tail. "I love your hair."

Why does Gon have to be so hot? He's not modest either. He'll just strip naked in front of me without the slightest warning. Gon better be happy I have self control or I would have jumped on him. Killua's cheeks are pink as he works on getting his pants on. He's aware of the bed creaking behind him. Gon must have gotten back on the bed-

Suddenly hands are on his hair. Killua's breathing stops, his heart doing a strange flip as he feels fingers going through his hair, pulling his hair back ever so slightly. Killua feels like he could die when Gon says "I love your hair." in what sounds to him like a low sensual voice. Killua can feel Gon's breathing on his back causing goosebumps to form on his arms. Killua stays completely still. He's afraid to move. Is this really happening?

"W-What?" Killua squeaks out. He wants to slap himself afterward.

"Your hair. I've always loved it. It looks so fluffy and thick. I really like it this length. And it's so soft." Gon mumbles as he continues to run his fingers through Killua's hair, the ex-assassin having to stop himself from leaning into the touch. Killua swallows the purr at the back of this throat. "Can I braid it?"

so many thoughts are going through Killua's mind right now but he doesn't voice any of them. "S-Sure." Killua breathes out, trying not to sound breathless or heated. Gon's nails on his scalp, the slight pulling of his hair and Gon's words are driving him crazy. His face is flushed and heat is gathering below his waist. It's almost too much. Killua has lost the will to stop this. He's too happy right now. He loves the attention. He's beaming from learning that Gon likes his hair, even more so that he wants to braid it.

"Yay! Okay take a seat and i'll see if I can find a couple of things in the bathroom." Gon lets go of Killua's hair much to his disappointment and gets off the bed to run to the bathroom. Killua takes this time to sit on the bed and grab a pillow to put over his waist just in case. He tries to calm his heart rate down and think straight.

"...I didn't know you knew how to braid hair." Killua looks down at his hands. "Where did you learn that?"

"From Mito-san." Gon hums as he comes out of the bathroom, hopping on the bed. He takes a seat behind Killua. " she taught me so I could braid her hair at night. She would sleep on it and her hair would be really wavy. It was pretty." Gon smiles at the memory as he takes the brush he found and starts to brush Killua's hair. He makes sure he's gentle with the knots so he doesn't hurt his friend as he gets them all out.

Killua sighs in contentment, closing his eyes at the feeling. It's almost surreal. He almost can't believe this is happening. It feels so nice. Killua is on fire from all the attention Gon is giving him. "Oh I see."

"You should sleep on it tonight. I'd like to see how your hair would look." Gon puts down the brush and starts using his fingers to pull the hair back.

"Mm okay." Killua blushes when a groan escaped his lips. Gon doesn't say anything though as he continues to work on his hair, pulling his hair and his nails on his scalp. Why does he have to be so good with his hands? Killua's going to have to take a cold shower after this.

Gon hums to himself as he starts braiding the ex-assassin's hair. He's surprised how easy it is to work with. It braids nicely too. As he gets to the middle of the braid, one of the strands is being stubborn so he has to tug at it a bit harder. Killua makes a sound, causing Gon to stop. "Are you okay? Did that hurt?"

"No..." Killua blushes. He's found out something about himself. He loves having Gon pull his hair. Even when he does it a little it turns him on. Killua can't stop his thoughts from turning dirtier. An image forcing it's way into his mind. Gon gripping Killua's hair, pulling hard. Gon's face flushed red, Killua on top of him, thrusting into his best friend. With every thrust Gon pulls on his hair getting him closer to finishing-

Killua opens his eyes quickly, his boxers getting too tight for his liking. He really needs to take a cold shower now.

"Okay." Gon continues on with his torture not knowing or sensing the change in atmosphere as he braids his best friend's hair. It feels so soft. I wonder if Killua will let me do this again some time? Gon smiles at the thought as he finishes up the braid, wrapping the end with a pony tail. "There! All done! Now let me see." Gon gets off the bed to get in front of Killua. His smile falls when Killua hides his face from him. He's breathing a bit harsh too. Gon frowns. "Did you not like it?" He can't help to feel disappointed.

"No I liked it!" Killua almost shouts, looking up at his best friend, his cheeks still flushed. They get darker from his outburst.

"Killua you're all red! Are you hot?" Gon frowns and puts a hand on Killua's forehead . "Do you have a fever? Should I get Leorio?-"

"Nah i'm fine." Killua waves him off, getting up quickly with the pillow still on his waist. "it's just hot i'm going to take a cold shower! I'll be fine! Be right back!" Killua quickly runs to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Gon blinks, staring at where his best friend was a second ago. Wow Killua can move so fast. Gon frowns. I hope he's not getting sick. It would suck if he was sick for the vacation. But Killua said he was just hot so Gon will believe him. "Are you going to take out the braid?" Gon calls after his friend. There's a long pause before Killua answers.

"No. I'm keeping it in."

"Okay." Gon beams slightly. He walks over to the thermostat in the room and checks the temperature. It's70 degrees. It's not really hot but maybe it is to Killua? Gon puts the temp down to 65 hoping that will help Killua. He did look like he was really hot.

Gon lays in bed, sinking into the mattress, waiting for Killua to come back out. He really enjoyed playing with Killua's hair. It felt different from playing with Mito-san's for some reason. He felt...closer. He also had that strange feeling in his stomach. Gon wonders if he's getting sick. Sometimes when he's with Killua he gets this feeling. It's not bad but he doesn't understand it. It usually doesn't stay with him too long. He hasn't told Killua because he doesn't want him to worry. He doesn't want Killua to think that he makes Gon sick or something.

As he lays in bed, cuddled up in the blanket to keep warm, he slowly starts to to fall asleep. His last thoughts are of Killua and the strange feeling he's been starting to give him.

"My..." Kurapika walks into his hotel room and shuts the door behind him. His cheeks are a bit flushed from the alcohol. He isn't drunk, just buzzed. It was nice listening to Leorio talk about his schooling and how hard the test were. The stories of him getting in fights with the teachers were funny. The alcohol and Leorio talking distracted him from what he's been doing these last couple of years. Kurapika walks into the bathroom, looking into the mirror. He splashes water on his face and drys himself off. When he looks at his reflection again, the makeup he had applied is gone, exposing the dark circles under his eyes and the bruise on his cheek. The bruise should heal soon but for now he'll have to keep covering up.

He had ran into a member of the troope on his way here. He shouldn't have but he couldn't stop himself. He tracked the man by himself. It must have been a new recruit but he couldn't stop himself when he saw the spider tattoo on the back of his neck. He lost it. Kurapika is sure that this new recruit's purpose was driving him out. He shouldn't have killed him but the guy was better than he expected. He landed a hit on him.

Kurpika's eyes turn red thinking about what happened, grinding his teeth. His rage is still here. He doubts it will ever leave him.

I'm sorry for lying to you Gon, Leorio, Killua...it's just better this way.

Killua breathes heavily as the cold water falls on his chest. He makes sure he doesn't get his hair wet as he waits for the freezing cold to get rid of his problem. His blue eyes are glossed over, and his stomach is twisting. He can still feel Gon's fingers in his hair and see the image of Gon on his back, his legs over his head with Killua over him. Killua shutters, closing his eyes tightly trying to stop thinking of the very, very hot image.

Soon the cold water works it's magic and killua's able to block his dirty thoughts. He sighs as he turns off the water and gets out of the shower. What is wrong with me? Gon is my most precious friend. Yet i'm thinking about him in such a filthy way. If gon knew... Killua hugs himself. He feels guilty. Shameful. He can't even imagine what Gon would do if he knew the dirty thoughts he has about him. He'd probably look disgusted. Or angry. He wouldn't want to be his friend anymore.

Killua looks at himself in the mirror, at his hair that Gon had done with care. All Gon was doing was braiding his hair. He took such an innocent act and made it deeper. It had felt so nice. Gon was complementing his hair...why couldn't I have been content with that? Killua smiles slightly at his reflection. Gon is really good at braiding. He's surprised.

Killua puts his sweat pants back on. I'm sorry Gon. So much for keeping these feelings hidden. He was close to losing it today. He almost kissed Gon and then he had such thoughts with Gon still awake and touching him! It's getting harder...

Killua takes a deep breath before he walks out of the bathroom. "I feel better now Gon. Do you want to play a game or something now?" Killua puts his hands in his pocket. He blinks when he sees that Gon is laying in bed with his eyes closed,a calm expression on his face. "I thought you said you weren't tired." Killua can't help to chuckle, his eyes softening at his friend. He walks over to the light switch and turns off the light. He makes his way over to the couch and lays down on it. He's not going to sleep with Gon tonight. He doesn't deserve to. He's also afraid he might do something that he can't control. Killua glances over at Gon's sleeping form in the darkness one last time before staring up at the ceiling. He can't watch him tonight.

Killua needs to get a hold of himself before he loses everything.