I walk into the study room, of course I'm early, but for some reason Jeff is already here. I sit in my regular seat, only one chair between us. As usual, he is on his phone, even though we all know he has no one to text. I pull out my binder, and check my agenda. I look up to see Jeff quickly looking away. I am about to ask what that was about, when Troy and Abed waltz in, who're talking about Inspector Spacetime.
"Hey, Annie," Abed greets.
"Hi, Abed," I respond. He then turns back into his conversation with Troy. Britta and Shirley arrive next, laughing about something and sit down.
"Hello, Annie," Shirley says in her Miss Piggy voice.
"Hi, Shirley. So, what were you guys laughing about?" I ask. I glance over at Jeff, who now has his phone on the table and looks to join in the conversation.
"Oh, nothing, sweetie," Shirley answers quickly.
"Didn't sound like nothing," Jeff states matter-of-factly.
"It was nothing you'd wanna hear anyway, Jeff," Britta retorts and then turns her attention to me, "I'll tell you later, Annie."
"Oh, okay," I say hesitantly.
It is near the end of our third at Greendale, which means next year is our last. I know we've evolved and are friends outside of school, but once we're out of here and back to the real world, I feel that we are going to grow apart. Jeff will go back to his lawyer life, Britta will, I guess, try to be a psychiatrist, Shirley has her business, Pierce, well I don't know if he'll ever graduate, Troy and Abed will probably make movies together. And then there's me. After Greendale, I suppose I will find a hospital administration position, and live a boring, non-studygroup filled life. Any who, back to reality, there are fifteen minutes before Biology starts and I now have nothing to busy myself with. I look at Jeff who already happens to be looking at me, and he holds my stare. I quickly look down, blush a little, and fidget with my hands. I look up again and over to Abed who gives me an "I saw that" look, and raises his eyebrows. I shake my head to silently say "It was nothing" and go back to fidgeting with my hands.
"I'm going to head to Biology early," I say a little too fast and loud.
"Me too."
I look over to find Jeff gathering his things. I get out of my chair and start for the doors. From behind me I can hear Jeff's footsteps and someone asking, "What do you think that was about?" I'm sure Abed will answer with some ridiculous TV or movie reference that doesn't even fit. Soon, Jeff is walking beside me quietly.
He speaks first, "So, got any plans over the summer?"
"No, I'm probably just going to hang out with Troy and Abed in the Dreamatorium a lot and stuff like that," I answer.
"Same here."
I look at him, confused, and he clarifies, "Oh. I mean that I'm not really doing anything, not playing in the Dreamatorium with you guys."
"I figured," I say, "So, why were you at the study room so early today?"
"I actually wanted to talk to you something," he says nervously.
"Oh, really?"
I can only imagine what he could want to talk about. After the potato incident last week and finding out about Starburns' death everyone hasn't really been the same, including Jeff. We had a little service for him on Monday, where many people had actually shown. That weekend Jeff had invited the whole study group to his place for food, games, and drinks.
/"Pierce claims to have a smoking hot date, who is probably a prostitute again. Shirley called and said she has to stay home with the boys because they all have the cold. Britta said she had already made plans to go to some protest," Jeff recites to me.
"Oh, okay. So, it's just Troy, Abed, you, and me tonight?" I ask.
Jeff nods, "Yup."
We turn to Troy and Abed who are dressed up in their Inspector Spacetime costumes. "Why are you guys dressed like that?" Jeff asks.
"Well, let's just say, we can't stay too long," Troy says and then they do their handshake before plopping on the couch.
I head into the kitchen to search for a drink, but the fridge is clear of any alcoholic beverages.
"If you're looking for this you could've just asked," Jeff holds up a bottle of expensive looking scotch as he leans against the entrance to the kitchen, watching me.
"That's not really what I was looking for, but it is alcohol and it's better than the crap beer Abed and Troy brought," I say with a smile.
He sends me a classic Winger smirk and grabs a glass. Jeff hands it to me to hold as he fills the glass halfway with the caramel colored drink.
"Thank you," I say as I swish around the liquid in my tumbler.
"No problem. Let's go out into the living room to check on the two knuckle-heads," he says with a smile in his voice.
I take a sip of the contents in my cup and it is quite bitter, but I get it down as I scrunch up my nose. I open my eyes back up to find Jeff staring at me. I give a small smile and blush.
Jeff snaps out of his stupor and says, "On second thought, want a tour of the apartment?"
We step out of the kitchen, me sliding past Jeff who still had been leaning against the wall.
"We're gonna have a look around real quick! Be right back," I announce to Troy and Abed who just smile and then give each a knowing glance. As I walk away, I can hear them whispering something and then do their handshake.
With Jeff leading the way, we go into what looks to be an office. The walls are a neutral brown color, a fancy metal bookcase rests on the far wall, and a plain rug lays in the middle of the room. In the corner is a nice, new wood desk. It all looks very expensive and untouched.
"Wow. It's pretty nice, for you," I say.
"Well, I had some help from a designer. All I did was pick out that bottle holder," he points to somewhere behind me. I look where he's gesturing towards and, sure enough, there's a fancy rack full of wine, scotch, and several other expensive looking alcohol bottles. "Would you like a taste test?" He goes over to the rack and pulls out a drawer that holds glasses. He grabs a bottle that is unfamiliar to me, and pours a little in two glasses. "Here," he says and takes my glass full of scotch, replacing it with the new drink. I throw it back and he only takes a sip.
Maybe a sip would've been a better idea.
I have to scrunch up my nose and shut my eyes again to take the burn that is slowly making its way down my throat, this time worse than the last. I hear a chuckle and peek open an eye. Jeff is laughing at me into his glass as he goes to take another sip.
"What's so funny?" I manage to cough out.
He shrugs, "Oh, nothing. But, maybe next time just take a sip."
"Maybe you should've told me beforehand," I say and swat his chest, "Jerk. What was that anyway?" Jeff picks up the bottle and turns it to show me. "Ah, whiskey."
"Yup. How 'bout some wine?"
"Sounds like a good change." He pours me a glass as I lean against a wall. "I can't believe Starburns is really gone," I whisper.
"I'm not surprised." I look at Jeff, shocked. "What? C'mon, I mean he was a drug dealer for crying out loud! We didn't even really associate with him, anyway, no need to feel bad now. We got him fired and then convinced Abed to take over, just for chicken fingers."
"Jeff, that's beside the point! It doesn't matter if we talked to him every day or not," I argue and throw a hand in the air, "He was still a human being, just like us. We knew him! The death of a colleague is hard to cope with. I don't know if Abed can handle this for much longer!"
"Abed is fine! Annie just… I don't know! Everyone takes death differently. Just calm down. It'll be fine," he says as he walks over to me and takes the glass from me and places it on his desk. Jeff then takes my hand in his. I look down at our intertwined fingers.
"Annie."
I look up as Jeff looks down at me. With his free hand, he cups my cheek, still looking me in the eyes. He leans in, slowly closing his eyes. I close the rest of the space between us to meet his lips. /
As he says this, we reach the biology room. "Well, later then?" I ask.
Jeff nods, "Yeah, later."
We sit down in our chairs, which are right next to each other. "Did you do your homework?" I ask him just to make conversation since I know he didn't.
"Actually, yes. I did." I look at him, eyes wide in surprise. "What? Can't I get like a "Good job?" or a gold star sticker for doing my homework all on my own for the first time?" He smirks at me.
"I could think of many ways of rewarding you," I say before realizing what I just said.
His eyebrows raise and he smirks, "Oh, really? Later then?"
I blush and focus on rearranging my books. The hand that's on my knee is covered with his hand. I look up and Jeff is still smiling at me. He rubs his thumb in a circle before removing his hand completely to avoid suspicion from the group when they pile in.
Throughout class I had felt Jeff's hand rub lightly against mine, but I managed to get through it without drawing attention to us. Professor Kane releases us for lunch and I slowly pack up. I feel everyone pushing out of the room…except Jeff. I pretend not to notice him, but he lightly grabs my arm, forcing me to acknowledge him.
"Annie, can we talk now?" he asks quietly.
I look around the emptying room, "Yeah, but not here. Follow me." I pick up my bag and almost grab his hand, instead I just walk out with him following. When I reach my destination, I glance back at Jeff, who smiles because he remembers this room. It is the small room where I had found Jeff after he had run off because I showed the really embarrassing video of him to win the election. I smile at the memory, well the good part of it, as I step in. Jeff slides in and shuts the door behind him. "Annie," he clears his throat, "so, about that talk…"
"Yes?"
He takes a step closer. I can feel the heat radiate off him. Jeff takes ahold of my hand in his and looks straight into my eyes. "Annie, I know that we've been…well we've been avoiding this," he points a finger at himself and then at me, "Us."
"Jeff, where are you going with this?" I ask hesitantly.
"Annie, just hear me out. Ever since that first kiss during the debate, I've felt something for you. When we had our first real kiss I just wanted more, but I knew…I know that back then it wouldn't have ever worked, but now's different." He shifts feet, "Now we can try this. We can be an 'us'. I know that it's been three years that you've been ready, but I want you to know that I've also been waiting. I haven't been trying to make you sad or seem childish because of your feelings, not intentionally. Annie, I really like you, and I'd really like to try to be something with you. If you still feel the same." He smiles big and kisses my hand sweetly. But, I snap out of my 'Jeff haze'.
"It's been nearly three years and now you're telling me this?" I let out a puff of air without realizing I had been holding my breath. "Jeff…I really appreciate your honesty and I know that must've been hard for you, but how can I just forget everything you've put me through? You kiss me, and then you ignore me for the next three months! And then when we had that pen incident and then we worked together to 'solve' the 'conspiracy theory', but then you completely denied that there had been anything between us when I brought up the 'Annie of it all'," I say exasperated.
"To be fair, if I had just admitted to it and kissed you right there, I would've definitely been tarred and feathered! Britta, and especially Shirley, would've killed me," Jeff interjects.
I cross my arms over my chest, "Well, maybe if you had just pulled me aside later on and told me it wasn't all in my head after all, it would've been easier! You made me feel like a little schoolgirl with a crush who doesn't know anything. And, now you come to me a year later to tell me all this? How do you expect me to just forgive you?" I can feel the threat of incoming tears of frustration in my throat and welling up in my eyes, "Jeff, I just can't do this right now." I remove my hand from his, even though it is one of the hardest things I've had to do. Jeff Winger, the man I've been in love with since I met him, has just confessed his feelings for me and I'm the one running away. Without looking back, I exit the room.
I hear Jeff call out, "If it's any consolation, I had kind of told you how I felt at the beginning of this year, remember?"
I turn around to find him around the corner of the wall I'm leaning on. "I'd like to forget about that, actually. It wasn't my greatest moment," I say with a laugh.
"Wasn't one of mine either. Listen, I understand that you need to think all this over, but just know that I really care about you, Annie," he says this as he locks his gaze with mine. He gives my hand a squeeze and a light kiss on my cheek. "See ya later, milady."
I watch as he walks down the hallway.