Overall feeling at the moment: Well we fucked up, America.

This chapter is not quite as cracky/lighthearted as usual, which may be attributed to the fact Miki is in a labyrinth full of murderers with the powers to play God and my own personal existential crises of the future. That being said, Miki is in an enough of a "Nope" place by the end that her panic attacks and crises will mostly be pushed aside next chapter in order to flip off the universe.

I wanted to be done with the ROOT arc this chapter but it seemed weird to continue on where I finished, so you should expect one more. Then the next chapter should have the different POVs - including everyone's favorite bothersome genius!

Thanks everyone for sticking with me!

Also, warning for slight gore-ish imagery.

In Which I am Alice in Muderland

There is a good chance I did not go the way ANBU Asshole directed me. Like a solid 62%. Mayhap 73%.

It's rather hard to tell considering I'm in a dark underground labyrinth with literal ninja killing each other in the shadows. This isn't always quiet killing either – I'd already narrowly missed being buried alive once after one of the tunnels collapsed. Could have been a jutsu, could have been someone Green Beast level punching the hell out of a wall.

I've also almost been roasted alive by a raging fire. Almost knifed I can't tell you how many times. Thrown to the ground or into walls when caught in the middle of conflict or in a desperate attempt to get the hell outta the way. So I've probably almost died about twenty times so far.

It's been like ten minutes.

I press my back against a cold stone wall and breathe slowly, attempting to get my bearings. I lurk in the shadows of one of the hallways where the torches have either already gone out or been otherwise destroyed. It seems pretty hit or miss with whether or not a passage will be at all lit. Even the passageways with some dim light from torches are still swathed with puddles of darkness where the light can't reach. And as everyone knows, anything can be in the dark.

Goddamn villains and their need for dramatic flair. Like, you could've installed some fucking electric lights Danzo. This isn't the damned Warring Clans era.

A sudden low ringing in my ears alerts me to the fact that I am once again panicking. I take in a deep breath and let it hiss out as quietly as I can. I stay absolutely still and try to let my heart calm. I close my eyes, letting the chill of the stone behind me sink into my skin as I reach a hand up to massage the slowly forming headache behind my eyes.

Contrary to what you might assume, the headache is not from stress (well, there may be a bit of that) nor from any lingering effects my lovely masked healer may have missed from my previous concussion. Rather, it's from all the thrice damned chakra.

I hadn't noticed it so much in Danzo's Boss Room due to whatever seals lined the place, but the sheer volume and scale of the chakra signatures stuck here underground with me became readily apparent within minutes of me taking off. The people fighting down here, for the most part, aren't genin nor chunin (are there even any ROOT agents below ANBU level?) – they're the elite type with their stupid amount of chakra. Not to mention they're throwing that chakra around in often flashy jutsu that are bound to bring the ceiling down on our collective heads.

The air feels like molasses and for the first time in a while it feels like chakra's sheer presence will suffocate me. It hasn't been this bad in years. While I can get a bit out of breath and lightheaded in the presence of someone with particular power, like my main man Orochimaru, or volume, like Naruto when he's being a dumbass and throwing his chakra around like nobody's business, I haven't felt like I could just die from it in so long. I'd honestly thought I'd outgrown it.

But, then, there's a difference between someone's passive chakra and active. The latter is much more intense, and I've only really been around academy students throwing their weight around. I knew that, but I didn't think—

I haven't felt so helpless since those early days. Those days where my body wouldn't obey me, and I had too many thoughts in my head and the air was suffocating me and it felt like insects were skittering around underneath my skin and I knew, I knew something was wrong, but I just, I couldn't do anything whereamI—

I open my eyes wide, feeling panic choke the back of my throat. My breathing hitches and I fight for it to go back to normal. Think about something else. Strategize. Complain.

(I sure as shit can complain)

I mean, it just figures the talent that should give me an advantage in this hellhole is actually a liability. My chakra sense should give me an extra edge in being able to navigate easily in the dark while most others would have to rely on instinct. I should be able to easily identify where the ninja lurking in the dark are and sneak around fights until I can find my way to freedom.

Unfortunately, as always, my life is one long ruinous Shakespearean tragedy. Alas, my strength has become weakness and turned on me in a most inopportune twist of fate. Now all I need to find out is that Danzo is actually my (god)father and we had been turned against one another by time and fate!

…I take that last one back. I don't want that man's genes anywhere near me.

An involuntary shutter flows through me; I swear I can still feel that guy's sludgy chakra creeping just outside of my senses. Every pool of darkness seems to be home for the spiderlike energy to lay in wait for an unwitting victim.

The dark – I've never been particularly scared of it, but I've always had a vivid imagination that loves to run wild. It has a lovely habit of coming up with unlimited horrors waiting patiently for me under the cover of darkness. And not only do I have a lifetime of horror movies in my head, but actual bullshit ninja magic killers actually waiting to off me.

Thinking about it, I've probably been in one place for too long. I need to move on soon, but I wasn't joking about my ability turning against me. I try to spread my awareness and pinpoint chakra signatures. A sharp pain blisters through my mind and I flinch, grabbing my head in agony.

I gasp in pain and my eyes flutter, seeing nothing but black with a faint glow towards my right. It looks like I will only be able to rely on passive sensing to alert me to immediate danger. In other words, I won't be able to navigate in the dark with any degree of certainly. Looks like I'm going to stick to the lighter areas where it's even easier for homicidal ninjas to see me. Ideal.

I sigh and do my best to ignore the pain in my head. Another advantage to being trained as a child soldier is that we've been taught how to shake off pain from the start of the academy. This goes under the category of most of the other practical lessons I learn from ninja school: useful, if horrifying.

I stand up and shake my legs. I take a step forward and a stab at my best impression of being silent. I trail my hand along the wall to my right, fingers skimming the occasionally smooth, occasionally rough surface.

I pad along until I'm on the edge of light. I stop and strain my (non-chakra) senses in an effort to detect danger. I can hear the distance rumble of fights, but the sounds seem weirdly muted. There are probably some kind of seals or otherwise weird jutsu-y nonsense lining this place, considering it hasn't all come down on our collective heads yet. It's possible that something may be interfering with how one can perceive things. This is, after all, an underground cult-insurgency that the Hokage is not supposed to know about, for all that obviously didn't work out. There must be something that stops all the superhuman people in the village with enhanced senses from being able to detect this underground hive.

In that vein, it's possible that something here may also be interfering with my chakra sensing on top of my oversensitivity acting up. Not like I'd be able to tell unless people cut this shit out and if the absolute chakra saturation down here miraculously broke down instead of lingered.

I hum in the back of my throat and decide to walk into the light, as you are never supposed to do. I shuffle into the relative light of the corridor. Which would still be considered dim as hell just about anywhere else. Straining my eyes doesn't show me anything alarming. The earthen hallway continues down for a while (I have no sense of distance, so don't ask me to estimate) until it hits a dark end and looks to split off into two forked paths. Four or five doors pockmark the otherwise featureless walls.

It's a bit frustrating that I can't just check if anyone's within the rooms, considering I can normally locate people blocks away if I want to. Any temptation I have is pretty firmly pushed down by the constant dull throb in the back of my head and the struggle to keep my body from thinking it's being drowned in chakra. Just that thought makes me swallow roughly, feeling as if there's something blocking my throat.

I give a little shake of my head and wince before creeping forward. Hiding out in a room right now sounds rather nice, to be honest. Even if not necessarily practical since I'd be literally backed into a corner if anyone should decide to come in or, I don't know, somehow set this place on fire.

The urge to snoop around a bit in petty vengeance is also there. But most of all I just want to get the hell out of here and never go underground again. I've never been claustrophobic like I know some people—(your mom was, you remember her right/Oh shut up not now)—to be, but being trapped in an anthill full of psychopathic murderers will make anyone develop a certain aversion. Plus, I just don't like the feeling of being trapped, full stop.

And the constant threat of dying, I guess.

I pad along, eyeing the doors but not entering any. When I reach the end of the hallway I end up going left after a flare of chakra to the right sends me staggering. I continue on that way for a while, having to backtrack every so often when fights sound a bit too close or I head towards somewhere where the chakra is just so saturated that it's too oppressive to move forward.

Even though my sensing is shot to hell, at least I can still wrap my chakra up into an unnoticeable ball perfectly well. The former even negates to negative effects of the latter, where my range is significantly cut down. Now I'm leaning on my ability to null my presence to avoid confrontation.

It is a hard fought ability. You can't sense yourself very well, or if at all, so it's hard to tell if it's working. On top of that it's a bit of a weird experience to try and withdraw your chakra from where it's flowing through you and stuff it into a little ball in your gut.

Or that's what I imagine I'm doing at least. You would think it would feel uncomfortable or cold with how I explained it, but it actually feels more like if you were hiding under the covers. Warm, maybe a bit stifled, but safe. It's a bit of a reflex now when I want to avoid people (cough Ino and the Fan Girls) but it doesn't exactly work when they can already see you. Took a while to accomplish to any given degree, even with my freaky manipulation.

But when you're trying to avoid Orochimaru, one must pull out all the stops. He may not be an active sensor, but when a ninja reaches a certain level they tend to gain skill at passive sensing. It's like when people say you have a sixth sense that lets you know if someone's there. It can also unconsciously lead you in the direction of someone you're looking for if you're familiar enough with their chakra. It's much easier to hide from a passive sensor than active, since passives tend to only sense the excess chakra one unconsciously releases into their surroundings (though ninja often stop doing that with the more control and discipline they gain).

Not that hiding from my Bro usually works. The man knows.

Man, this is probably his fault, somehow. Things usually are. I'm going to write him an song and serenade him. There will be no escape.

I jerk out of my thoughts when I hear a rumbling from behind me. I perk my ears and listen harder, straining my eyes in the dim light of the hallway I'm currently in. Yep, the sound is definitely getting closer.

"Fuck."

That may very well be a cave in heading my way. Or a particularly epic ninja fight producing unidentifiable sounds. Both equally as deadly. I also do not know how to deal with either.

So, run. Right.

In between one breath and the next I'm sprinting. I ignore the aches in my body resultant from this night. Or however long I've been here. I gasp in the stale air and stop trying to be quiet, as I have had 0% success at running silently in my training so far.

I hook a right at a pass and keep going, hoping to put some distance between me and the sound. I realize that I've run passed combatants as red hot pain stings my arm and I understand it's been sliced, probably with a kunai. The sudden pain makes me falter, but over the sounds of my gasping breaths I can hear the rumble even closer, so I continue on. I also don't want to test what made whoever threw that kunai from getting it somewhere vital.

I hear a yell from behind me, catching a "Doton-", before my feet are suddenly out from under me and the earth is fucking moving.

Shit, shit- is this is an earthquake or- no, wait, earth ninjutsu thing, so not the sound. So what's the sound, why the jutsu—

Another shout fills my ears and a gurgle of pain before the earth stops moving and with a tilt of my head (when'd I get on the ground?) I realize that the floor has risen in several places, and this fact and the somewhat panicked cursing of one of the two ninja behind me confuses me before the rumbling is overwhelming and a giant wave of water comes spilling over where a wall of earth rose just feet from the ceiling and crashes towards me.

I have but moments to catch and hold my breath before a force concusses me and I'm suddenly surrounded by cold and dark as the water sweeps me along.

It vaguely registers in my head that the water must have put out the sconces that made any light available at all. Most of any rational thought is drowned out by panic. The already preexisting panics of being trapped in a murder labyrinth, my chakra sense not working, and my condition acting up joins forces with the oh god I'm gonna drown panic and becomes a force of Super Panic. Doesn't help that this water is clearly from a jutsu since of course more goddamn chakra is pressing up against my sensing.

But, like, no, no time for a panic attack, me. Gotta have air first before you lose it all in tightening of the throat and gasping breaths. Gotta get outta the goddamn water first. No, no drowning.

(You know what mom was also afraid of—Oh my God shut the fuck up this is not the time—)

I flail and try to make my way up, somehow, but I could have been heading down for all I knew. There is no light to tell which was which since I was in a fucking underground cave system.

And, well, there's the thought that the water fills up the entire hallway and there is no air to breathe, but that's a decidedly Not Nice thought and we're going to ignore that.

On top of not knowing where to move, the water is a riptide whipping me this way and that in its inexorable movement forward. It's hard to fight against it to move anywhere but where it wants me to be. Especially when this body has a very limited experience in swimming in the first place. Even more powerful limbs and a somewhat extended lung capacity compared to those of children in my world will only last me so long at this rate. Especially when I have nothing to hold onto-

Sharp pain jars my shoulder as water rockets me into a solid object. I unconsciously exert my chakra and suction onto it as hard and I can. The water harshly buffets me and it whips passed, but I am no longer towed in its wake.

…Well, okay, maybe I meant that last bit a little metaphorically, but I will definitely take it literally.

I take a moment to gather myself and try to blink out disorientation. Considering I'm still underwater, this doesn't necessarily help much. I observe what I pretty much already knew; complete darkness with no indication to which way is up. My brain can't even come up with a way of figuring it out even if my chakra sense wasn't making me want to gag.

As I mentally catch my breath I realize I have very little actual breath left. The burn of my lungs is real and I know I have little time left before my body decides Game Over. So I don't think about it and start climbing 'up', or the direction my head is facing.

Climbing in itself is not an easy job. Although the impromptu river of water feels like it may have marginally slowed down, it is still the fastest current of water I have experienced in both my lives. Every time I unstick a hand or leg to the wall to painstakingly pull myself further up, I'm sure I've been swept slightly father to the left. This becomes increasingly true as I do not break through the water and become more desperate.

I grit my teeth and feel my lungs will fail me at any second. My hands and legs scrabble more desperately as my chakra control becomes sloppier. I keep going, one after another. Come on, come on…

Another inch up

And another

Death feels closer than it did earlier, with Danzo. I had honestly thought he was going to kill me but it wasn't the same. Somehow, it was expected, maybe? When you think about dying here, where I am, it's not surprising for it to be Danzo.

Another

You're kidnapped to an underground lair where you meet a politician villain that you distinctly don't like, lose your temper, get bitch slapped, and are like "yeah, I'm gonna die." And it's really, kinda, almost like a joke. Because, yeah, you're in the Naruto world.

AnotherAnother

Danzo's certainly a viable option to get killed by. Hell, I've thought Orochimaru would kill me many a time; still might. But that's still par for course, isn't it? Danzo, Orochimaru, Pein, Tobito, Zetsu. Hell, Zabuza, Haku, Gaara, Itachi.

Another—

It's all according to script, isn't it? Getting killed by villain characters, or at least "misunderstood" ones.

But drowning underground alone in some jutsu some dumbass shinobi extra cast? That's not something you unconsciously expect. Not something you feel like you can accept. Ignoble, maybe. But it's not like my first death was so dignified either. So why does this bother me beyond basic survival instincts?

What do I have to live for? What does death mean to me, when I've already lost everyone I've ever loved and everything I've worked for? When I live in this frankly fucked up world, no matter how I play in it? When this isn't even the same story I loved as a child?

Anoth—

Why—

I gasp as my head breaks the surface, eyes blinking wildly. The surprise and relief momentarily relaxes my grip on my chakra, causing me to jerk to the left and almost go back under as the water catches me up.

I choke on a cry and quickly reassert my grip. I spare a moment to just breathe, trying to soothe the burning of my lungs and aching limbs. Darkness still pervades and the rushing of the water is almost overwhelming. I have no sense of where or how far the water took me and a chill shivers through my body at the combination cool air and cold water.

But my moment of relative peace is broken as I hear splashes and shouts behind me and realize that the ninja that had been in the same corridor as me are likely not dead and were in fact better equipped than me to handle random floods.

So I decide to keep going up.

While water walking is theoretically within my capabilities, I'm not feeling up to the whole trial by fire thing and my body feels like it's half jelly. A nice solid wall or ceiling would be preferable.

Plus, I want nothing to do with water at the moment.

So I firm my chakra and begin to pull up. I begin to tremble as soon as I pull myself out of the water, my body registering that it was in fact cold. There is a way to circulate chakra to heat yourself up, I can do it in a rudimentary manner, but it is already bad enough that I had to unfurl my chakra to climb. Circulating it leaves an even bigger margin for sensing. Plus, I don't think shivers will be the thing that kills me in this situation.

I continue to pull myself upwards. In about five or six body lengths I hit the ceiling. Thinking about it, this corridor seems higher than the others I've been in. A particularly violent shiver wracks my body at the thought if the water hadn't swept me here or if I had tried to get out at a different hallway.

But then, the water can't be unlimited, since the chakra in it feels like its shaped, or from a jutsu, as opposed to natural chakra. So someone didn't accidently hit an underground water source or something. With all the divergent paths in this place, the water will have to spread thin eventually.

Still, the ceiling feels rather solidly lovely and completely dry so let's go up there for a while. I slide my hand onto the smooth surface of the ceiling then edge the rest of my body onto it. I wince slightly at the feel of being upside down and my aching head heartily disapproves. Probably not the best choice but my need to be as far away from the water as possible may be a little unreasonable, I can admit.

Once again, there is totally a way to regulate this because ninjas go spider man and hang upside down all the time, but this one I don't know at all. I've hung upside down before but I've never felt the need to stay so for extended periods of time. So I've never learned the trick behind making sure your blood doesn't rush to your head and your balance doesn't go wonky. Well, now I certainly have some motivation.

I'm sure Iruka shall be thrilled at my new motivation to selectively learn.

Curled up against the ceiling nestled in the crack of the wall, I rest. I slow my breathing and attempt to regain a sense for silence in anticipation of the ninja fight I know is approaching me. The sound of metal hitting metal and disturbed water grows closer. Hopefully I'd remain unnoticed as they pass and then be able to wander along the ceilings and walls until I find a part of the base not flooded with water.

I breathe steadily and stare into the black. Then, between one moment and the next, brilliant light flashes into being.

The sudden brightness burns my eyes and it is only surprise that keeps them widened to take in what is happening.

Lightening arcs through the water, painting the deep liquid with streaks of white. It lunges and twists like snakes, dancing through the water and above it.

A crackling fills my ears, a low grumble of radio static. Less jarring than the sudden light but no less potent.

A hiss growls out of the back of my throat as some of the electricity arches up to meet me. It dances along my still wet skin, leaving trails of white hot pain as it goes. I can feel my hair, previously matted to my head, fluff out and stand on end, as if I were a cat raising its hackles.

A burning smell assaults my nose where only a dank and dampness had been. I yelp and my body jolts involuntarily with electric impulses.

My left leg unsuctions itself from the ceiling, my heart jolts, and I'm not sure if lightening or fear will give me a heart attack first.

I slam my leg back to the surface, ignoring any pain, and completely flatten myself out onto the ceiling. I ride out the jolting of my body, ignore the feeling of burning, trying to pretend I can't smell something cooking.

No, whatever is happening to me here many lengths above the water, it would be so much worse in it.

I open my eyes again, not realizing they had closed, and look down, blinking rapidly at the dark spots clouding my vision.

But they couldn't prevent me from seeing the dark shape back lighted by the lightening. It floats along the water, steadily sinking deeper but still clearly visible in the vivid arcs of light. It takes but a second to place the shape; especially with the other similarly shaped one floating farther away, appearing to be faintly twitching.

I am distantly thankful my face is already facing vaguely downward as nausea hits me and vomit forces its way out of my mouth. It meets the water with a plop and sizzle as my eyes don't leave the bug eyed face of the charred corpse flowing steadily away from me.

The smell of cooked flesh assaults my nose anew and my stomach knots itself until I'm retching, one hand leaving the ceiling until my face faces fully downward.

I hiss and spit, the rancid taste in my mouth actually preferable as it chases away some of the smell in the air. My eyes stream and my nose runs and I'm gasping and quivering and in pain. Oh God, dear lord—

Then the light is suddenly gone as quickly as it came. I hang for a moment, dangling still and stunned.

I then huddle into a ball, eyes closed and shivering, doing my absolute best to concentrate on keeping my chakra flow steady in the face of the involuntary jolts my body is still giving. I cling to the ceiling with all my will because I sure as shit am never going in that water again.

I try and blank my mind, try to ignore the burns I can now feel scorching my body. Nothing deadly, nothing like- well. Well.

It was just more pain on top of what I already have. But damn, damn this is some kind of hell place I'm in, isn't it? Like what the hell, it's like I'm going through some goddamn trial or something. Like, I don't think whoever the fuck ran the labyrinth in Greek mythology had to deal with this holy flood, heavenly lightning bullshit. Just had to fight a bullman or something dumb like that.

I mean that one girl just had to fight a glittery David Bowie in leggings and some muppets on acid. God, I'd totally go for that; where're my creepy muppet companions? I could use some saving the day through the Power of Friendship™ right about now. Naruto's hair even kind of matches the red ones who get a cut scene and dismember themselves. How'd that song go?

"So when things get too tough,

Something about something dragging on the ground,

And even down looks up,

Bad luck"

…

Heh

I don't realize I'm snickering until it rattles my already unsteady body. I clamp a hand down across my mouth, feeling the remains of something wet and the grinning outline of my teeth press into my palm.

I open my eyes to darkness, fluttering my eyelashes to get rid of the excess tears. I feel them curl away from my eyes, dripping around them and spiraling downwards across my forehead before reaching the mass of wildness that is my electrified hair.

Heh, electric blue.

I try in vain to stop the newest rounds of snickers from bubbling up from my gut. My eyes sting from the burning light. My head feels like it's about to fall off. My body is ready to throw a rebellion.

I can't stop laughing.

I press my hand harder against my mouth, curl around my stomach and try to find a semblance of calm in my mind. But it's blank, nothing but inane thoughts whirling through it. Nothing but references that don't even apply in this world and observations that don't hurt to think.

I blink, expecting to be greeted by more darkness when I open them, only to find myself gazing into two red pinpricks. They are about on the same level I'm on. I blink again and they're closer. Again and they're close enough that I can see that they're eyes.

Two bright red eyes that glow like twin blood moons on a night without stars. Giving off light but somehow not leeching any of the shadow out of the darkness. Two pools of ink sit in the middle of each eye. Black commas orbit around them as if they hold some kind of dark gravity. They spiral lazily, languidly, and I feel caught up in their dance.

I can't look away.

I blink and the eyes may be a little closer but I can't really tell at this point. I feel my eyes open wide and I try not to blink and hold the bloody stare. The other doesn't blink either.

It still smells of burning.

Even with only passive sensing I can feel chakra brush up against me. It is the still brother of the dark water below me, calm and deep and deadly. I feel like I'm drowning.

The only sounds are the gentle rush of water and my muffled laughter.

There is only red and black.

Slowly, another shape forms into view. Where there was once darkness, a light starts to grow. It is dim at first, before it steadily grows brighter, a fire stroked to life. A white crescent carves itself into existence, a gentle curve framing the two pools of red.

A grinning smile salutes me. I can see glittering fire roil behind the teeth, so hot that it burns white.

If I wasn't upside down it would be a frown.

The eyes narrow slightly with the appearance of the grin, the spiraling dance imperceptibly quickening. I see the neat white lines of teeth part, a crack opening between tombstones. Fire licks its way out between them. The sound of something close to a sigh and the flames suddenly lurch closer—

I blink.

The apparition is gone. It couldn't have been there but for a few moments.

A demon had smiled at me.

(It wasn't a demon, you know that/you sure about that?)

Right.

My breath escapes me in a great whoosh and I'm suddenly not laughing any more. The grin had taken my laughter with it.

Right.

Well, this has made my situation clear to me.

Obviously, I was thinking too literally in terms of "labyrinths".

Obviously, I am currently moonlighting as Alice. Didn't they sometimes call it the "Underground" instead of Wonderland? It fits perfectly! I clearly just met my (demonic) Cheshire Cat.

Mr. Twitchy is my (dead) white rabbit, who was late in getting me to Danzo. Who is the Red Queen of his hive-mind minions. I guess ANBU Asshole could be the Mad Hatter who people always interpret as my ally in spin offs but is really just kinda a dick who doesn't do much but give unhelpful advice.

That's not everyone, I'm pretty sure, but, hey, it's not like I've found my way out of wonderland yet. I'm still curled up here on the ceiling in the dark above a most likely still somewhat electrified impromptu river of water with no clue how to get out. I giggle (oh, nope, there's the laughter, it's never really gone) and it sounds a little crazy even to my own ears, but that's okay.

We're all mad here, after all.

I do not own Jim Henson's Labyrinth. I am only marvelously baffled by it.

So, yeah, Miki didn't fair too well this chapter. Which should be expected, really, but she's not too thrilled with being fucked around with by life. Expect her to be a bit more proactive next chapter and less cautious.

Pffft who needs caution?