I want you to stop running from thing to thing to thing, and to sit down at the table, to offer the people you love something humble and nourishing, like soup and bread, like a story, like a hand holding another hand while you pray. We live in a world that values us for how fast we go, for how much we accomplish, for how much life we can pack into one day. But I'm coming to believe it's in the in-between spaces that our lives change, and that the real beauty lies there.

— Shauna Niequist


Antonio Fernández never saw Ludwig Beilschmidt cried before.

He never even saw him showing any kind of negative emotion at all.

But it had came to this. After a long struggle with his health and financial state, Gilbert Beilschmidt was forced to give up on his business and life, leaving his younger brother with debt and despair. Knowing Gilbert since the albino decided to raise Ludwig on his own, the news of Gilbert's death broke Antonio's heart more than the Spaniard expected.

Gilbert was a dear friend of his and Antonio was more than fond with Gilbert's existence. He was always such a fire cracker and seeing him made Antonio believe that dreamers will eventually get to where they dream of. But reality was cruel and Gilbert's brilliant idea had to be buried on the pile of failed experiment and eventual debt. When Gilbert's health deteriorated, Antonio knew he had to brace for the worst. He didn't know it would be so much more painful to see young Ludwig, no older than age of twenty-five, being left alone in the world.

Antonio was in no position of helping Ludwig, even financially. It was a little embarrassing to admit, but the thirty-six years old man was practically living of his partner Lovino Vargas. Antonio was Lovino's guardian until he reached a legal age, where the Italian was allowed to get back to his country and inheriting numerous amount of money from his grandparents. When Antonio thought he was heading towards bankruptcy, Lovino saved him. Now they didn't have to play the parent and child role again, for Lovino was in the position where he could declare his love to Antonio and saved him for life.

Antonio was sure that Lovino would allow Ludwig to stay on his mansion for sometime, but he knew he didn't really have long-term plan on how he could help Ludwig. The boy was left alone with such burden. Antonio didn't know whether he was so angry or so sad, but he knew grieving was such a tiresome experience. And he was just Gilbert's friend, not his brother or his only family. Antonio still had Lovino, but Ludwig had no one else. It must be more than very hard for him to watch Gilbert's coffin being lowered to the ground, to disappear from the surface of earth. It was enough to make stoic, sullen-faced Ludwig to cry—perhaps for the first time since forever.

And Antonio couldn't help but to cry too.


"Antonio, I truly apologise, but I can't stay in your place. Your partner doesn't like me," Ludwig shook his head.

Antonio gritted his teeth, "But I can't let you stay in this sad hostel forever! Lovino is just being childish, Ludwig. I can persuade him—"

But Ludwig just shook his head again.

They sat on the small deli across hostel where Ludwig stayed, where Ludwig had only two bags of everything that was left from his former life. Antonio treated Ludwig with Currywurst and hot chocolate for late lunch. The whole time, Ludwig refused to see him in the eyes, breaking Antonio's heart even more. He knew Ludwig didn't have enough money to have at least two meals per day, since those bastards had squeezed whatever money Ludwig left to cover Gilbert's debt.

After sitting sometime in silence while Ludwig finished his meal, Antonio felt his phone was buzzing. He took it out from his coat pocket and read a message from Lovino, stating that he had to do "another impossibly stupid job" for his twin brother, because the painter needed some kind of model.

Antonio smiled a little. Lovino's tantrum always brought smile to his lips somehow. He was quite disappointed that Lovino would have to act quite childish when it comes to helping Ludwig, but Antonio knew that they could become good friend if only Lovino gave Ludwig chance. But Lovino was still his saviour. He was still the love of Antonio's life. After glancing at Ludwig for a while, making sure he was still there and eating, Antonio tapped his phone and replied, 'What kind of model?'

Lovino's answer came almost immediately, 'Some kind of stupid buff male. Says he'll be paid handsomely. I don't understand artists, Antonio. Can't he be settled with farming tomatoes like me and stopped messing around with paint all day?'

Antonio chuckled. Lovino's twin brother was an extremely gifted painter who had held several major exhibitions all over Europe, though Antonio must say that he was just as unique as Lovino. Financially wise, his brother was on better position than Lovino. Antonio sighed, taking his sight away from his phone's screen. He wanted to help Lovino as always, but right now he had his plate full with Ludwig…

Wait.

Ludwig. Ludwig was a buff male! His struggle with his brother's life for the past several years didn't stop him from getting up early in the morning and working out. He was so disciplined to the point that Antonio found it scary.

For a moment, making Ludwig worked for Lovino's brother seemed like a brilliant idea. Lovino was well enough on his own, but his brother always got extra money from painting, coverage, and exhibition in general. He was more than capable to help Ludwig.

But…

But his brother was the exact opposite of what Ludwig was; efficient, disciplined, and thorough. They would look like night and day just by standing next to each other, since he was shorter, tanned, with far darker hair colour. Would they be able to work together? Antonio wasn't worried about Ludwig at all, knowing the German could pull off professional manner wherever he works, but Antonio wanted to make this work so bad. Throwing just about anyone at Lovino's brother could harm his relationship with the Italian as well.

But then again, Antonio thought, wasn't modelling simply mean that Ludwig just had to stand there and doing nothing? That alone should be enough. They didn't have to have same kind of personality when it was all about physique appearance for work. The Spaniard made up his mind. This seemed to be the best option for everyone, after all. It wasn't like he could visit this hostel every single day. Antonio knew Ludwig would be so much happier living with someone who would care whether he ate properly or sleeping comfortably.

So he returned his phone to his coat's pocket and looked at Ludwig who had finished his meal.

"Say, Ludwig... do you think you want to get job outside Germany?"


Ludwig Beilschmidt couldn't help but to feel cheap when he heard that he was offered to become model for a painter. So now he was down to the degree where he sold his look, his body to live. But after a moment of hesitation and brows furrowing, Ludwig knew he really didn't have a choice. Antonio also mentioned the possibility of the painter giving him accommodation and Ludwig felt he would at least feel better living somewhere he didn't have to share bedroom with another seven people, with most of them being backpacker and changed regularly every weeks or so.

The next day, Antonio took him personally to bring Ludwig to this painter, a twin of Lovino. The journey from Germany to Northern Italy took sometime. Ludwig didn't know much about Lovino, let alone his twin brother. He could understand, nevertheless, why Lovino thought rather badly of him. Gilbert's reputation certainly didn't help and Antonio always helped him big time that it was easier to think that Ludwig only used Antonio for easy money, though Antonio denied it repeatedly.

"Do I need to know anything about this painter, Antonio?" Ludwig asked while he was sitting next to Antonio on his car. He couldn't help but to see grimness in everything, even on the beautiful Italian scenery outside. They were close to the painter's place now. Ludwig was aware of the prospect that his new boss would be offended if he didn't know him as famous painter.

Antonio chuckled, "I don't think so, Ludwig. He's a very, very easy going person."

Ludwig didn't really like the sound of that. He was the complete opposite of easy going.

Antonio watched his expression and laughed, "Relax, Lutz. It will be fine. Unlike Lovino, I must admit, Feliciano is such a sweetheart. You'll fall in love with him in no time."

That was the first time Ludwig heard the painter's name, the name of his new boss and Lovino's twin.

"Feliciano?"

"Oh, yeah, that's his name. I just realised I never told you that."

"Feliciano? Feliciano Vargas, that Italian painter?"

"Well—yes."

"He's… Lovino's twin brother?"

Ludwig knew about Feliciano Vargas. When he was just a teenager, he came to solo exhibition of the Italian's works on Berlin. Gilbert promised him that someday they would be rich enough to buy just one painting of Feliciano Vargas. Ludwig only rolled his eyes to his brother's remark, but he secretly wish that his brother would fulfil that promise.

Even though Ludwig knew nothing about art since he spent the majority of his life hoping he could be engineer while studying engineering in university, he saw absolute beauty in Feliciano Vargas' painting. What was also amazing was the painter wasn't far from his age. He was only about five years older if Ludwig recalled correctly.

Now he was going to meet the infamous Feliciano Vargas and even work for him.

"A-Antonio… are you sure it will be okay?"

"What do you mean, Ludwig?"

"I mean… me… working for Feliciano Vargas… I don't think I make the cut."

"Oh, Lutz… relax! You will be just fine. Feliciano will like you."

That didn't convince Ludwig, but it wasn't like he could ask Antonio to turn back. Beside, Feliciano Vargas already held a solo exhibition in Berlin when he was only on his early twenties. As much as Ludwig hated to admit it, Feliciano Vargas' wealth was quite appealing for him now.

"Are we still far from his place?" Ludwig asked after some moment of silence. He loved the view of beautiful field outside, but he couldn't wait to get there. He was a fan of Feliciano Vargas' works after all.

"Well, all these fields belong to him," Antonio shrugged.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. You will be swimming on wine when you get there. But maybe he'll get you best German beer if you ask him…"

"I can't possibly do that, Antonio."

Antonio only chuckled.

After fifteen minutes of ride, silence-filled since Ludwig wasn't really able to say anything, they finally saw a large mansion in the distance.

Ludwig ran out of words as they drove closer to the mansion. After the gate automatically open at the sight of their car, they went through a garden. The garden was beautifully arranged with perfect mix of shrubs, trees, and statues of various pose and size. The place was awfully quiet for some reason.

"Feliciano loves his solitude—or so Lovino told me," Antonio said, as if he was able to read Ludwig's thought.

Ludwig only smiled weakly in return. He wasn't sure on everything. He never worked as model before. What if Feliciano didn't like him? What if he couldn't work properly for he had experience at this job at all? Before he could ask more questions that seemingly had no answer, the car he was in stopped.

Antonio parked the car right before marble stairs to main door. Ludwig couldn't help but to feel intimidated as he took one of his bags while Antonio helped him with the other.

Antonio rang the bell after throwing a calming smile toward his friend's brother. Ludwig thought it would take sometime until the door was open, but it opened almost immediately.

A man stood behind the opened door. He was at least three inches shorter than Ludwig. His hair was auburn and his eyes were the colour of honey. His first word was, "Ve…!" Followed by, "Antonio! It's a-really nice to see you!"

After greeting Antonio with a hug, his sight fell to Ludwig behind Antonio. The German couldn't help but to gulp when Feliciano Vargas laid his eyes on him for the first time. Ludwig didn't know whether he just imagined things or not, but he believed that the Italian's eyes were lit up as he saw him. Ludwig opened his mouth to greet his new employer, to say something at all just to be polite, but Feliciano spoke first.

"And you must be Ludwig Beilschmidt! Welcome to my house! I'm Feliciano Vargas. It's a pleasure to meet you!" Feliciano Vargas chirped cheerily, walking towards his new model before giving Ludwig the tightest hug the blond ever received on his life.

Antonio smiled as Ludwig glanced at him confusedly, having Feliciano Vargas' arms around his waist.

The Spaniard mouthed, 'I told you he will like you.'


I read a book on a famous painter and his model and I can't help but to write a GerIta version of it. I hope you enjoy this opening chapter as much as I wrote it. I can't wait to write Ludwig and Feliciano living together. See you on the next chapter.

The cover image I use for this story is a public domain. The image is made by weinstock at pixabay.