(AN: This fan fic was recommended by Nessie71, and I have read it before, and I admire the author, and I've wanted to do something with it for ages, and then I finally got the idea.)

Chapter 1: The Big Three

Future Foundation Headquarters. 10:30 a.m.

"Mr. Togami, a new report just came in," said the secretary, slightly nervous.

Togami sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. "Bring it over here. It better not be a waste of my time." He moved his laptop to the side of his desk to make room for the file.

"Well, sir, i-it's… um, well…" The secretary stumbled over her words, trying to describe what the file was. "It's a confession… of sorts. It has to do with Super High School Level Despair." With those last five words, Togami lifted his head from what he was currently working on, his eyes staring intently at her.

"Why didn't you say so earlier? Any information will help. You know this."

"But it's obviously a false al-alarm… the grammar… spelling… direct contradiction of the facts…" Her stuttering was getting worse, much to Togami's annoyance.

"Spit it out already, or I'll have you put on cleaning duty!"

"Right, um," With a shaking hand the secretary handed the file to Togami and continued to try with her explanation. "You know how some people glorify the Mutual Killing School Life?" Togami nodded. "Well, some people have been writing… stories about it… and, well… this particular one has been spreading around the internet almost unnaturally fast, like a virus… And because it mentioned…you know…so I've asked for-" She was interrupted as someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." Togami said, and the door opened, an ahoge peeking out, followed by the rest of the person it belonged to, and following him was a long wave of purple hair.

"Mr. Naegi, Ms. Kirigiri… I'll leave you to it then. Hopefully any questions you have will be answered by the sticky notes in the file." The secretary bowed, and nervously walked away, wanting to leave before they started reading.

There was a small silence after she left. Naegi was the first to speak. "So… what's this about?"

"It was hard to understand, even without the stuttering, so let's just get this over with." Togami answered, placing the file on his desk so that all three of them could see it.

"Let's begin." The young detective said.

*'**"***"**'*

SO YAH DIS IZ TA FIST CHAPTA OV MA FANFIC CUZ ITZ AWSUM AND STUV. I UZED SPEL CHK ON DIS CUZ I RLY CAR ABOT ITTTTT!11111!11 DIS IZ MA FIRSD FANFICCC EVAH SO DONT FLAM. OK HER WI GO!

Togami: What is this nonsense? It doesn't make any sense.

Kirigiri: And this is related to Super High School Level Despair, how?

Naegi: Come on, it can't be that bad.

(base by grangerpixel)

Kirigiri: What does it mean by base?

Naegi: There's a picture here, maybe that's what it means.

*Look it up on DeviantArt yourself to see the picture*

Togami: What's wrong with her hair? And why are her hands so tiny?

Kirigiri: I would guess that it's dyed. The sort of color isn't natural. As for the hands…artistic license?

Hi! My name (watashi) Nagiko Jirijiri and I am thirteen years old.

Naegi: Look, there's a sticky note here. It says, "The original story is in English, but some words are in Japanese, and these are indicated by bold parentheses." What is that supposed to mean?

Togami: No idea. And isn't thirteen a little young to be involved in a high school?

I have ankle length rainbow colored hair that I was born with and sky blue eyes.

Kirigiri: I still stand by my statement. That hair is impossible.

I have very pale skin that shines likes the moon. I have scars on my upper back and on my palms from when I was young and I never show them to anybody because they are so ugly and I think they take away from my natural beauty.

Togami: Sounds like someone has a high opinion of herself.

Naegi: I'm not sure you're one to talk…

Togami: Right, 'Mr. Average' the one who has no self-confidence until-

Kirigiri: Boys, we get it. She's a little conceited.

I always wear purple fingerless gloves with metal plates on the back and a sunset colored mask to hide my mouth and nose. I also wear a black to blue ombre belly shirt and a short, plaid skirt. On my legs I wear tall black socks. People tell me that I am VERY (kawaii) and hot.

Togami: This is awful, absolute garbage. Who takes that long to describe their appearance?

Kirigiri: I bet you can't describe your clothing in only one sentence.

Togami: Tell her, Naegi.

Naegi: Well, um, let's see… I usually wear my Future Foundation uniform, which is a standard black suit and tie, white dress shirt, and a pin with the word for future on it.

Kirigiri: Togami, I asked you, not Naegi.

Anyway, I go to a school called (hopes peak academy).

Kirigiri: Hmm, another sticky note. "School does not receive proper grammatical respect."

You have to be VERY talented to get in. I was enrolled under the title (Super Duper High School Level) Ninja.

Togami: What's with that title? It's not even remotely close to what it actually is.

Naegi: Well, the sticky note says, "There are many translations of the title and this story combined two versions. It is regarded as annoying to English speakers."…Huh.

Thats right. Im not just some pretty little girl. Im a ninja. A killer. I can do things that most boys wish they could.

Togami: Like we need more murderers in that humanity-deprived school.

But I was also Despair. SDHSL Despair. We took over Hope's Peak and, inevitbly, the world.

Kirigiri: How can she so nonchalantly claim to be someone who wants nothing but death, destruction and despair?

That is, until I met Naegi.

Togami & Kirigiri: *Cold stares towards Naegi*

Naegi: N-no, I've never met anyone like that! Honest! I-it's just a story, right?

It was two years after I came to Hope's Peak when that boy chnaged me forever.

Naegi: … Please stop staring at me, it's a little scary…

We all stood in the gym. Thats where the note Monokuma(-sama) wrote told us all to be.

Kirigiri: Actually, we were told to meet in the entrance hall to make our introductions. Then over the PA system he called us to the gym.

Togami: But why would she call that black and white devil sama?

Many of my class mates stood around me and I felt the horrible despair of knowing what would inevitably happen to all of them.

Naegi: Wait, I thought you liked despair, so why would you call it 'horrible'?

I walked around talking to all the despairingly boring students i would be stuck with.

Togami: Are you including me in this over-arching description?

Naegi: That's not fair, everyone is-was, interesting and unique in their own way.

Maizono was a jelous bitch and her singing voice was really terrible.

Naegi: What… the hell did she saw about Maizono? You can't judge someone you don't know!

Togami: Everyone does it all the time, so I don't see why you're so upset.

Kirigiri: I agree with Togami, but that sort of insult is uncalled for.

I cant stand pop idols because they are only famouse because they are pretty and most arent even that pretty. People tell me I am much prettier than all of them combined and my singing is much better.

Togami: If you're so great, why aren't you on the stage? Going on about how great you are is grating and a waste of time.

Naegi: But Togami-

Kirigiri: Shh. Give it a second.

Togami: …My claims are not unfounded, unlike this person's.

SOOO then Monokuma(-sama) told everyone that in order to get out we have to kill eachother butt I didn't really listen because I already knew all that crap.

Kirigiri: She doesn't seem to care about anything not pertaining to herself.

after the irrational punk tried to kill Monokuma(-sama) (like a weakling like him could...) everyone else decided to investigate.

Naegi: Owada wasn't a weakling!

Togami: But he was an irrational punk.

But then that damn jerk Oowada punched Naegi-kun!

Kirigiri: That makes it sound like Owada attacked without any provocation.

Togami: I believe Naegi was trying to stop my disagreement with him.

Naegi: Disagreement? You compared him to plankton.

I didn't know Naegi very well then, but he was totally cute so I walked up to Oowada and attacked him with my awesome ninja skills.

Kirigiri: Those are very vague skills.

I didn't kill him because Monokuma(-sama-sensei) told me not 2 kill anyone YET.

Togami: What is with these honorifics? And even if you did kill Owada, it would be the fastest class trial ever, as well as being the most boring.

Then I picked up the unconscious Naegi, to a JELOUS look from Maizono.

Naegi: You know what I said about giving this a chance? Well, I take that back and throw it out the window.

I took Naegi 2 his room and unlocked the door with my special key. I decided to wait for him here until he wakes up.

Kirigiri: She is blatantly not taking the facts into account.

Naegi: T-that… that bitch.

Togami: I don't appreciate that type of language in my office.

WUZ ITT GUD?!1111 let MI KNO!

Togami: I cannot believe anyone could actually be this stupid.

Kirigiri: Well, members of Super High School Level Despair are not exactly sane.

Naegi: Promise not to tell anyone about this?

Kirigiri: Deal.

Togami: Are you sure…? Fine.

*'**"***"**'*

When Naegi asked to keep it a secret, Asahina had just happened to be walking by. Curious, she poked her head through the crack in the door. Struck by a wave of mischievousness, she ran in, grabbed the file and ran off with it, holding it high above her head.

"What's this?" She asked, glaze covering her lips. "Is it top secret?"

"Asahina!" Naegi cried. "Give that back! You really don't want to read that!"

"You sure, well, come and get it!" Asahina knew that this was immature, but seeing everyone's faces was just too funny. She took off, Naegi running after her, but he knew he could never catch up.

Kirigiri and Togami just looked at each other when another secretary walked over towards them with a file in her hands. "Ms. Kirigiri" She said, "Do you want part two of that file?"

Togami considerably blanched. "Part… two? How many are there?"

"Sir, it's still continuing, and there are several others like it. I sent one over to Asahina this morning. Would you like to see it?"

"No thank you. If she's already read it, then it's fine." Togami resisted his morbid curiosity, but just barely. "How many others like it are there?"

"There's four that we know of, but there could be more."

Kirigiri finished the conversation. "Send them in."

(AN: I plan on doing multiple fics in this story, including You Shook Me All Night Long, Despair Infestation (but that one is going to be redone, so this one is iffy), High School of the Dead, and anything you guys recommend. DR1 fics only, and they have to be bad. Hope you enjoyed!)