This can be read as a stand alone or as part of my Hysteria, Hysterical, Outrageous! series.

I must thank Just Jeanette for the post on the NCIS Facebook page that got this started and some ideas within.

ZCIS.

"What are we going to do Jimmy? What are we going to do?" Tony DiNozzo asks as he paces the autopsy suite.

"Firstly I suggest you take a deep breath and calm down."

"Calm down? I am perfectly calm."

Knowing that if that were the case he'd not have been called Jimmy Palmer decides it's wiser not to comment further on his friend's state of mind. "We've a lot of good ideas..."

"But a victim. We don't have a victim. Every crime drama needs a victim. You know when we pitched the network Zombie Criminal Investigative Service we promised to provide fresh ideas. This ep is shaping up to be perfect. It has everything those fans want. There's just one thing missing."

"A body."

"Yeah and we're on a deadline." Tony stops pacing and leans up against an autopsy table. "Read me what we've got so far."

Palmer clears his throat. "Ideas for the ZCIS sweeps special. The two part episode (as that is all the actress is available for) will feature former assassin turned zombie criminal investigator Ziva David who works alone under the agency's auspices. She specialises in revenge attacks, has Daddy issues, and trust issues especially when dealing with her colleagues."

"Good. Good." Tony nods encouragingly.

"ZCIS in this ep will be run by Director Zebra David. Zeevah Dahvid will be boss of the team that always has Ziva David's six. It will include Senior Field Agent Ziba David and Zeeva David the team's computer expert. They are supported by Ziver David a dedicated forensic scientist and Dr Siba David, a wise and canny medical examiner."

"Now for the bad guys. I love this part."

"Ziva David's main nemesis..."

"Therefore the team's. Remember it's all about her."

"Right. It will be Shiva David. Also there's the colleague who is obsessed with Ziba David over a relationship that never was and never will be. Her name is Tiva David."

Tony starts to pace again muttering. "A victim, a victim...". A few minutes later he stops suddenly. "I've got it." He's grinning slightly manically. "And it comes with a great twist."

"What is it?"

"The victim will be a fan of Ziva David who choked to death on fish crackers. Zebra will order Ziva, Zeevah, Ziba, Zeeva, Ziver and Siba to investigate."

"And the twist?"

"It will turn out the victim didn't choke to death."

"So?"

"The victim just ceased to exist."

"What? I mean why?"

"Couldn't live with the fact there wasn't enough Ziva in the show."