A/N: So. I'm disgusting for writing this but whatever! As the title suggests, this is based on the beautiful Harry Potter fanfic titled My Immortal. It was a great troll fic (or bad fanfic? No one is sure). I thought Prussia would be extraordinary as the new Ebony.

So, this is going to be intentionally bad. I promise I'm not actually this awful. The actual fanfiction by Prussia will be at the end, up until then is build up. Not all of this will be the troll fic. There will be breaks for sanity purposes.

Prussia's chapters will be short so this story as a whole won't be entirely long. It is heavily based on My Immortal but I will be trying to make it different so it's not just a retelling.

Enjoy... well, as much as you can, anyway.

Chapter 1: Sapn

World Meetings held in America were always a poor idea. One: the country was so large that it took weeks to travel from one end to the other. Two: each part of the country had its own climate and weather—nothing was ever consistent! Three: depending on the individual state and time of year it could be a delightful trip to The States or hell on earth. Texas in August had hospitalized Russia from the heatstroke and Michigan in January caused the Mediterranean nations to huddle together to share warmth like penguins.

They were in New York, a more common location, this year: New York, in a swanky hotel that overlooked a nice park, which didn't matter this month since it was covered in four inches of snow. There was a snowstorm blowing around outside but lucky for the nations the hotel was well ventilated and well heated. Most of the windows in rooms like their rented meeting area weren't even capable of opening for safety reasons.

The meeting finished up and Germany stepped down, respectfully allowing the home nation to close it up. America flashed his cocky smile, reminding the others of his previous gloating about how fantastic this state was and how wonderful the hotel was.

"And, in conclusion," he boomed out, "Thanks for choosing America as your destination for serious meetings!"

Germany sighed and removed his reading glasses. "America."

"Sorry! Anyway guys, be careful those of you heading out to other hotels or the airport. It's getting bad out there."

Suddenly everyone could hear the wind beating on the windows and the creaking of nearby trees bashing together. Britain stood by the window, shocked by the amount of snow. All the cars in the parking lot were covered in thick snow and the streets, previously salted and cleared into bike lanes for the most part, no longer held track marks and were a pure sheet of white.

The sky itself was a muted color, once blue but obscured by the white mass floating and blowing around the sky. The corded phone on the table by the door rang and America jogged to it and answered it. He put it back down, turning to the group.

"Uh, guys? I got some bad news."

Britain gasped. "Oh please, no! Not a repeat of the winter of nineteen-eighty!"

America sheepishly smiled. "Yeeeeah, about that… the hotel manager called. I guess he's calling every room. We're sort of snowed in. You can try to leave if you want but it's frost-bite cold out there."

Spain gasped.

"And it's New York and all. So you could probably be stabbed by cold and angry homeless people on your way out."

France gasped.

"But don't worry! There's still a few free rooms so we can all share beds and have a fun sleepover for a few days until the snow melts! Which is estimated for next Wednesday!"

Groans filled the room.

America smiled again and mumbled about this not happening if they had their Global Warming superhero like he suggested years before. He left the room to seek out the hotel manager to snag as many rooms as he could for the personifications.

"Cool, we have WiFi!" Prussia excitedly announced, tablet in hand. "Now we won't be miserable here at this stupid American hotel!"

Spain and France hopped up and joined their best friend, dragging their chairs to his side of the large table. Romano looked annoyed to be abandoned but instead scowled and joined Canada (who hadn't spoken all meeting and looked a little lost).

"What's this?" Spain questioned, pointing to the brightly lit page on Prussia's tablet. It was brighter than the sun. The room dimmed as countries seated by the windows pulled down the shades and curtains. It was snowy so there was no sun… but it was snowy so there was a constant snow blindness threatening their retinas.

"Only the most awesome thing ever!" Prussia cheered. France was ignoring the tablet, trying not to draw attention to his technophobia. He was uncomfortable enough as it was! First, trapped in a hotel with Britain and all that sexual tension! And now the internet!

The albino tapped at the screen and enlarged the page.

"This is my fanfiction I've been working on."

"Fanfiction?" France asked, turning back to his friend. "Like teenage girls write?"

"NO! Like awesome adult men write!"

Spain had been reading over the words on the screen. He stopped and excitedly cried, "That's my name! Are you writing about us?"

France cocked an eyebrow. "Fanfiction?"

"Well, historical fiction. Which I'm a fan of."

The door to the room smacked into the wall as America hurried back in. "Dudes! I talked to the manager and he's already given up most of the rooms to homeless people or whatever. He said he'd send a bellhop over to bring us their extra blankets and pillows, though. So no worries!"

Britain stood, knocking his chair down. "Do you honestly expect me to sleep in this room? With the frog?"

"No one is making you sleep with me, mon cher."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT."

America's face fell. "I'm sorry but this is the best I can do. Maybe we'll get lucky and some of the homeless Americans will choose to go brave it out in the negative-thirty degree weather. Would you prefer that?"

Britain awkwardly looked away. "Well, if it's for your people… I suppose it's alright…"

"Great! I'll go around and see if there's anything else I can wrangle us!" With that the blonde was bouncing back out of the room, cheerful as ever.

Spain giggled, covering his mouth shyly with his tanned hand. "Gilbert, this is hilarious!"

"Danke, danke!"

"What?" France asked. "What did he write?"

Spain scooted his chair back and offered France his seat, which had a better view of the tablet. France cringed at being close to the piece of technology but took the seat, never wanting to be rude to overly-polite Spain. "Read this. He wrote about us and it's muy beuno."

After some French complaint about the blinding screen, Prussia tapped at the settings and turned it down to dim. France coughed a bit, taken off-guard by the writing.

"Gilbert, you're not very good at writing in English, are you?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"…Never mind, then."

The night ran on and the sky darkened, though it never returned to the usual black sky of America. The snow left the entire world tinted white. The window, if looked through, only saw a world of grey and barely-recognizable buildings. A bellhop had come by the hour before with a tall cart filled with folded blankets and pillows liable to fall off the stack.

The cart was still in the room, abandoned by the wall, while the blankets and pillows had been divvied out to the nations. Italy was adamant that he could share his rations with Germany and Japan, arguing that Romano could share with 'Big Brother Spain' when he objected ("You will not sleep with that potato-eating bastard as long as I live!").

The floor was covered in sheets and blankets and pillows. Some of the people (Greece) had already curled up and took to sleep. Meanwhile everyone else was awake, hoping for some kind of miracle to melt this snow instantly. Maybe a volcano could go off and they could all walk out in shorts and T-shirts. Maybe not.

While everyone was claiming their spots on the floor Prussia was snickering at his own story and its true unadulterated brilliance. He cleared his throat and then stomped his boot when nobody paid attention to him. He sat atop the meeting table, legs crossed, tablet on top.

"Everybody! Pay attention to me!"

More groans filled the room.

"Since the TV isn't working and the internet is cutting out, I'll provide you losers with entertainment!"

There was an awkward silence followed by Spain clapping his hands enthusiastically.

"I will be reading a story about all of us that I wrote myself!" He flipped his short hair about and deeply and dramatically sighed. "Alright, Kinder, gather around and Cool Uncle Prussia will read you all the greatest story ever written, originally from The Awesome Prussia's Diary: Volume two-hundred and forty-seven!"

As Prussia got comfortable and began reading his before-the-story disclaimers and warnings, everyone shut their eyes, hoping to be unconscious before they were tainted with Prussia's creative writing. Italy curled up between Germany and Japan on their blankets. Germany shuddered for what they were all about to be exposed to.

Warnimg: I don't own the countries but I do own their asses lol. If ur against porn then go away loser virgin nerd bc im getting sum in this fic and you cant stop it. And Austra can go fuck off git away from my story u loser arschloch!1!1

Guten tag my name is Prussia Gilbert Beilschmidt Ivory Fritz the Grate (I get my name from my hair its al white if u couldn't tel). I'm tall and i like to work out so I'm really muscley and I have great fashion sens. Today Im wearing my black army boots that lace all the way up to my knees and I had on my Prussian bleu (it's not fuckn midnight blue if you think that Crayola coloring oppression is okay then you can go fuk urself and gtfo of my fic) and my jacket was also me blue and I had on my favorite black tie and best iron cross and my super smexy black leather gloves. They hide my pale hands and everyone is alwaus super jealoius of how pale I am and stupod posers like Austrians always try to get my skin color but they can't get enough conceler to hide their ugly fuckn moles that aren't even beauty marks.

sO im was walking to the world meating which was in Prussia this time (my country not me you sickos) and we were gunna get drunk and celebrate me being a country because they finaly kicked that loser Austria out of countryienity.

I got 2 the meeting hall and all my friends were there with beer and porn and Span and Frants were already a little drunk and I laughed and they laughed and thn I drank a lot with them.

"Hey Prussia!" I looked up and it was…. Hungary!

"Hi Hungry" I said shyly and she look shyly at me to. "Wahts up?"

"Nothing" she said.

Then Sapn and France called me over an I left and drank more with them before the meting.

A/N: I'm so sorry.

"Countryienity" is Prussia being a moron and fusing "Country" with "Christianity."

Tune in for the next installment of everyone reading this losing their brain cells!