Two years later...

Warriors in the Garden

"It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war."

"She's eight months pregnant—she shouldn't be tryin' to run down two toddlers under the age a' two!" Daryl said to Carol, exasperated.

He'd just come in from a mission outside the walls and had been looking forward to seeing both her and the boys, but had been disappointed when no one was home. He'd tracked her from the pantry, where she'd been helping Olivia take inventory before the big Fair scheduled for the weekend, when everyone from the neighboring communities would descend on Hilltop for a celebration of two years of peace, to the field next to the community gardens where she'd been engaging in some target practice with a smaller version of his crossbow.

"You know he likes to play with Hershel and Tara likes having them to practice being mama with while Maggie's at work." Carol reminded him, shouldering her bow and then linking her arm through his to start him walking towards home. "I'm sure Eric is there too."

"That whole thing still..." Daryl squinted and grunted a bit uneasily. "Like everybody's tryin' to repopulate the earth."

"You know that's exactly what—" Carol rolled her eyes until she noticed his smirk and batted his shoulder. "Asshole."

"Just sayin' that between Aaron and Eric turkey-basting one with Tara and Maggie and now Claire looking for some stuff to start another one, plus Denise and Heath here and Rick and Michonne over in Alexandria due any day now we got a regular baby boom goin' on around here."

"Claire? She and Felicia are looking for a donor? How do you know that?" Carol asked, squinting at him.

The back of Daryl's neck reddened.

Carol's eyebrows went up, realizing just how he knew.

"I told 'em no." Daryl said, his mouth twisting in embarrassment.

"Without talking to me?" Carol said mildly and tilted her head at him, "Why?"

Daryl frowned at her, trying to gauge what she was really thinking. When their friends had approached him to father a child for them it had been with the understanding that it would only be if Carol agreed, and that it would be a co-parenting situation for both couples if they went through with it.

"You're a wonderful father, Daryl. Just because I can't have any more children doesn't mean you shouldn't." Carol said quietly. The complications that had necessitated the caesarian when Michael had been born meant that she couldn't get pregnant again, for which Daryl had been secretly glad. He didn't want her risking her life like that again.

"Don't want to have a kid with anyone but you, and we got two good ones already." Daryl said gruffly. Sam was a precocious twelve year old who'd taken on most of Daryl's mannerisms and at almost two, Mikey was also turning into his little shadow. Their lives were plenty full raising the boys.

"It's quite an honor." Carol replied evenly, though her eyes looked a bit misty. "I know they consider you one of their closest friends—like a brother. I could see that as a reason to agree to what they asked."

"Yeah... guess I do feel like I owe 'em...Claire especially... for what she's done for us..." his eyes rose to hers, "Wouldn't even been able to consider it if she hadn't gotten us past... what we needed to get past..."

They'd been in intense therapy since their return from Sanctuary and the capture of Negan, building on the love and loyalty they already shared. For Daryl and Carol to come to terms with the damage inflicted on them by others was still a work in progress.

Carol slowed her pace and stopped in front of the building on the main avenue of the community that served as the jail. At present it was empty, its most recent prisoner having been moved to the more secure concrete walled cell built by Morgan in Alexandria to house him long term.

"Are we past it?" Daryl asked.

"You got some measure of closure." Carol said. "I didn't."

In their therapy sessions Daryl had finally revealed that he'd killed two of the men who had raped him in the Wolves' camp. He'd done it to free himself, Aaron and Erin from the cell, but he had also done it to punish those who had tortured and humiliated him. His time there had made sexual desire something that he couldn't have without remembering the pain and degradation that had been visited upon him in his captivity.

They had returned him to the state of feeling worthless that he'd grown up with, something that had only been overcome before by the love and acceptance of Carol and his other friends, his new family after the Turn. The Wolves had ripped all that away from him and reset him to the small brutalized child who had been abused by his own father.

Yet even killing them hadn't really been enough. It didn't erase the feelings of inadequacy, the fear of any intimacy deeper than a kiss that a well chaperoned junior high student might share on his first date might go horribly wrong.

The problem was that getting closer to Carol, wanting her, made him feel like he was losing control and he couldn't stand that feeling. When it happened, he ran, afraid that if he didn't he would lash out blindly, unable to stop himself, possibly causing her physical harm.

Claire worked with him to desensitize his fight or flight responses. Anything associated with sexual intimacy, for both of them, had been a mine field of potential problems.

Carol of course had her own issues.

"You know I never agreed with the Council's reasons for keeping him alive." Daryl told her, "The man is pure evil and no amount of Zen or mercy is ever gonna make it safe to let him walk outa that cell." He took her hand and made her look at him, "But that don't mean I think you need to be the one to put him down."

That had been her promise, back when they'd been held at the Savior's camp, that she would end Negan for everything he had done to them: all the terror and abuse, the women he raped, the people he'd casually cut down like Glenn and Rosita. He had so much to answer for that one death didn't seem enough for him to suffer.

When he'd first been locked in the cell she had fully intended to make good on her promise. She'd heard Rick, Ezekiel and Maggie out, all of them voting to follow Morgan's lead, telling her it wasn't what people in a civilized society should do, that Glenn would've wanted him to be spared, that they didn't want their new alliance to be born in blood.

She'd called them cowards, unwilling to do the hard things. She argued that keeping him alive let the evil that he was fester. Instead they should cut out the infection, that blood-letting would wash it away and let them start fresh.

The only thing that had stayed her hand had been Daryl. He told her that if she took Negan out without the Council's blessing she knew she would be banished from all the United Communities and she had to tell him how they would survive outside the walls alone with their children.

It was the main reason they had stayed at Hilltop instead of returning to Alexandria. Carol missed Michonne especially, but being away from Rick, Morgan and Negan was best for her mental well-being.

There had been some compensation in the way life had gone in their new home over the last two years. She'd been overjoyed when, after coming to Hilltop for regular monthly therapy sessions, Claire and Felicia had decided to relocate here. Things became even better when Tara and Maggie had gotten together last summer. After they hatched the plan to have a baby with Aaron and Eric the men announced they were moving to Hilltop as well.

Having so many of their close friends around them gave Daryl and Carol a sense of stability that they hadn't had since the months of calm between the storms at the Prison so long ago. Like the alliance that united Hilltop with Kingdom, Sanctuary and Alexandria, both of them grew stronger with help from their friends.

"Missed you." Daryl said, stepping closer to Carol, his thumb moving to gently rub over the knuckles of the small strong hand he was holding.

"Missed you too." Carol agreed, enjoying him being so close, taking in the uniquely wonderful Daryl scent of motor oil and leather, pine and sweat.

"So are the boys staying with Tara and them?" he asked her in a low voice as they continued down the street towards their house.

"She offered." Carol said, her heart quickening when she felt his mouth dip close to the curve of her ear.

"All night?" he asked, his breath whisper soft, his nose nuzzling against her silver curls.

Carol stopped and drew back so she could see his eyes.

They had been closer than ever in recent months, but had never quite gotten back to where they'd been when they'd finally gotten together after Aaron and Eric's original matchmaking.

Claire had told them that it might never be exactly the same, that they had changed, been changed by all that they had been through since then. Added to that was the reality that they had a baby sleeping in their room and a preteen in the next room, making the kind of privacy they'd used to have a pipe dream the majority of the time.

For the first six months neither of them had felt safe unless the boys were within their sight, too many memories of what could go wrong haunting them. As time went by and no other major threats against the communities had reared their head they had started to believe that maybe things could get better.

This had been Daryl's first extended mission since they'd been at Hilltop. There had been recent rumors of some odd walker behavior and some brutal killings at the edge of the Savior's territory, so he'd gone out with Aaron and Jesus to meet up with Rick and Abraham to check on how Dwight was getting along as leader of Sanctuary. Morgan had decided to live there, saying of all the communities it needed him most. No one disagreed. Dwight could be hot-headed and short tempered, but with Morgan, Wade and Karla acting as his Council, things seemed to be going pretty well.

The flurry of activity preparing for the Fair had been keeping Carol busy, but her meeting this afternoon with Olivia had shown they were just about as prepared as they could be for its start in the morning. She'd been looking forward to Daryl's return, her daily rhythm just slightly but constantly off without him there.

The heated look she saw in his eyes matched what she'd been feeling while he'd been gone.

Carol nodded yes to his question about the boys and was rewarded with a pleased crooked grin.

"You smell so damn good." Daryl ducked his head back to her neck pressed little licking kisses along her jaw line. "Taste even better..." he chuckled when that made her let out a feminine groan, "...but I'm gonna need a shower. Smell like the road..."

"Need some help?" she offered. Taking showers together hadn't been one of the intimacy exercises assigned by Claire. They were allowed to touch, relearning each other's bodies and what brought them pleasure, but intercourse had been off the table until both of them agreed they were ready and discussed their reasons thoroughly with the therapist in a session. Claire had finally given them her blessing to try in their last meeting before he'd left on the mission to Sanctuary.

"You sure?" he asked her, feeling her pulse quicken against his lips.

"Yes." Carol told him and she felt his smile on her throat and then the little nip and kiss there to seal it. They'd shared a bed since coming to Hilltop, taking comfort in the closeness, but again, Claire had imposed limits on their sexual behavior and they'd obeyed her to the letter... until recently.

It had been the night two weeks ago when they'd come home after the Council meeting about the disturbances near Sanctuary. They'd surprised Daryl by asking his opinion on the matter and taking his advice to send a group to investigate further.

Hours later she awoke to find him sitting on the side of the bed, his pale bare scarred back and chest contrasting with the dark bronze of his shoulders and arms, his face contemplative. She moved closer to push his hair back off his brow to place a kiss there; making him smile his crooked smile at the reminder of the first time she'd done it, understanding she still felt he was the equal of anyone with whom he cared to compare himself.

He turned and put his arms around her, pulling her closer until she was sitting across his lap, her arms around his waist and her head resting on his shoulder.

"I should go with them." Daryl said, resigned.

Carol hugged him more tightly.

"Don't want to." he sighed. "Don't wanna leave you."

Carol raised her chin so her lips brushed against his pulse point. His hands smoothed down over the soft cotton of her sleep shirt finding the curve of her hip even as he dipped his head to find her mouth. She opened to him, his tongue tentatively exploring. When she returned the kiss he grew bolder, his hands finding and lifting the hem of her shirt so he touched the soft skin beneath, cupping one rounded cheek of her in each palm.

The noise she made before deepening the kiss even more was a moan of encouragement and taking that as a sign to continue, Daryl carefully fell back on the bed, bringing her with him, one hand still on her ass, the other working to keep pushing at the fabric covering her to reveal more of her lightly freckled flesh.

Her mouth was soft and insistent on his and he let himself get lost in the sweetness of her, thinking only of her, how much he wanted to never stop kissing her, touching her, making her happy. He used his tongue to tease and tempt, breathless with rising desire, his caresses becoming heated.

When her shirt got caught under her breasts she made a noise of distress and broke the kiss, pushing at his chest and he immediately released her, sliding back and away, his eyes full of concern.

"Sorry... I... oh fuck..." he murmured, taking in her flushed cheeks, swollen mouth and eyes brimming with tears. Daryl frowned, his eyes rising to the workbook that was always beside their bed. Claire had brought it from Alexandria for them and they still used it, working through their pasts so they could have a future. There were rules and boundaries and he didn't want to do anything to screw all that up.

"I want to keep touchin' you..." he said slowly, finally realizing what had been bothering him, her silence. "But you ain't said a word. I need to know you want this too... that you're not just letting it happen..." he saw her frown. "Need to hear you say yes, you want me to touch you, to make you feel good."

He needed to know she wasn't retreating into her numbness, the coping mechanism that had served her so well with Ed and Negan, just giving him what she thought he wanted and taking nothing for herself.

Carol blinked at him, wiping at the tears that spilled over and swallowing hard after a choked sigh.

"Yes, I want you to keep touching me. I want you to make me feel good." she said, her voice husky with desire. Then she smiled and pulled her shirt off over her head and laid back, her eyes holding his with a look of such trust and love it made him tremble.

"You need me to stop, you know the word." he reminded her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. When she'd begun their therapy, Claire had insisted they both have safe words. The second it was uttered everything stopped, no blame or recriminations allowed.

"I know." Carol agreed, pulling him closer, "You... you the same."

"My hands and mouth on you okay?" he asked, checking her boundaries. Touching each other over their clothes or with toys had been part of them getting to know their needs and limits. They'd both been able to orgasm that way, which had been a huge breakthrough, but they hadn't been truly skin to skin in this way. Giving oral sex was fraught with bad memories for Carol and receiving it was for Daryl, so he wanted to try being the giver.

Carol nodded yes.

He moved in to start kissing her again, dragging both her hands above her head and holding them there.

"Keep 'em there." he said between kisses and she nodded yes again, both recalling how she'd inadvertently sent him into a fugue by gripping his hair when he'd last tried this back in Alexandria.

Daryl worked his way from her lips to her neck, then collarbone, licking the slender prominence from side to side before settling in to suckle at her breasts, his whiskers rough against them reassuring her that it was him. He released her hands and his moved to cup and fondle, treating each of the creamy mounds like precious treasures.

Carol writhed on the bed, arms above her head, her fingers gripping the pillow, fighting the need to hold his head to her to insure he kept licking and kissing, sucking and nibbling at her tits, nipples so tight and sensitive she was close to coming from that alone. When his right hand slid down over her ribs and belly to pet at her sex she hissed in a breath that became a moan.

"Easy..." he soothed, lifting his mouth from one breast to switch to the other, slipping two fingers along the seam of her center to part the labia and circle within just as he drew on her nipple hard, holding it deep and tight against the roof of his mouth and suckling rhythmically.

"Oh God!" She cried out, her eyes tightly shut, coming in a flash of light, quick and bright, bucking against him helplessly.

Daryl felt the rush of heat and softening slickness against his fingers and continued with his mouth at her breast until she subsided, her chest heaving with short panting breaths.

She thought he was done when he withdrew his hand and lifted his head and she opened her eyes to thank him, but he was staring at her, sloe-eyed through his mess of bangs, licking her dew off his fingers.

Carol reached for him, but he shook his head no and captured her hands again, lifting them to grasp the headboard railing. His powerful biceps bulged as he held himself above her, one hand braced on either side of her shoulders and as she looked down his body she could see the outline of his rigid cock under his sweats.

His shaggy mane brushed against her face as he lowered his lips to hers, making love to her mouth with the deepest of kisses, fucking his tongue in over and over, the most suggestive thing he'd ever done. She arched up into him, rubbing against him, bare breasts to chest and he groaned, leaving her mouth to rain open mouthed kisses down between her breasts and then sucking down on the skin under her belly button, marking her.

"You still good? You want this?" he asked breathlessly, pressing a kiss to her mound, pretty sure he knew the answer, but wanting to be absolutely so.

"Daryl!" she whimpered, and it came out like a plea, but he took it as an order, slipping back until he could spread her wide, arranging her legs over his shoulders, his hands under her ass holding her open for his feast.

"This?" he asked, using his tongue flat against her in long slow licks.

She purred at him, a kitten rumble deep in her chest and then and throaty mewl of assent.

Then he stopped for a few beats, making her wait for it.

"This?" he asked before beginning again, this time with quick flicks with the tip of his strong tongue directly on her clit and she cried out, arching up again and her legs were shaking.

After a bit more of that he stopped again.

"This?" he asked and then he licked down and thrust his tongue up and into her heat deeply while sucking at her clit like the sweetest juiciest peach imaginable. When he slipped back to tongue at and rim her smaller opening he felt her start to freeze up on him, so he slowed and withdrew.

"Wanna give you more..." he rumbled, sitting back up enough to lean over her and meet her eyes, his voice slow and hoarse with need, "...but you tell me stop n' I do."

"Daryl?" Carol sounded unsure. She's seen how hard he was... part of her wanted nothing more than to have him deep inside her, but they'd had boundaries imposed on them for a reason...

"Just my mouth and fingers—that still okay?" he asked gently, "I can use the vibrator if that's better for you."

"No—it's okay—I want to feel you, your touch, just your hands and mouth on me." Carol told him, feeling brave for saying it.

The vibrator was easy—a guaranteed orgasm in five speeds—and Claire had Carol use it to masturbate early on to prove to her that she could still have a natural physical response to sexual stimulation. Both of them had to relearn that. Daryl had to become comfortable enough with his own body's responses again to masturbate alone as well.

The next step had been for both of them to get themselves off in each other's presence. And now they'd reached the point where she was comfortable with him using the vibrator on her and he was able to have her in bed with him while he jerked off, his hand inside his sweats, her touching and kissing him elsewhere on his body, usually spooning him from behind, showing how much he truly trusted her.

But this? Him giving her full on oral with no toys? Nothing else between them? This was breaking new ground for them.

"Hey," he said quietly, reaching up and putting his hand over her racing heart and then leaning down to kiss her lingeringly. He could tell she was nervous, perhaps worried if she didn't come this way he would take it as his failure, or worse, hers.

"Hey." she smiled back shyly and he kissed her again reassuringly.

"It ain't just about gettin' off, right?" Daryl reminded her, "It's about us being close, just you n' me. If it happens now, great, if it doesn't, no worries. Not all we got together. We got a life."

Carol nodded, but then bit her lower lip and sighed.

Daryl knew what she was thinking. Even after all this time he had difficulty with anyone else seeing and touching his unclothed body, even her. He endured the regular physicals he was required to have because he'd been so severely injured by the Wolves, but only from Erin. The prospect of being examined or treated for an injury by either Dr. Carson or any other man threw him into a panic. He endured it only if both Erin and Denise were out of the fort and it was an emergency too severe to wait for their return.

Daryl took a deep breath and re-positioned their bodies until they lay on their sides facing one another. Keeping his eyes on hers he trailed his hands down his own chest and abs until they were stopped by the waistband of his sweats.

"I want you to touch me..." he told her. "I want your hands on me when I'm touching you." Then taking another slow deep breath he pushed his pants down over his narrow hips until he freed his erection.

Carol kept her eyes on his face as he took her right hand in his and brought it to encircle the shaft. He shuddered slightly but wouldn't let her pull her hand back.

"It's just us." He whispered and his mouth came open and his eyes glittered as he fought with himself to stay in the moment with her.

She leaned in and kissed him, closing her teeth over his full lower lip and sucking on it, the tiny bite of pain making him moan into her mouth. She brought her left hand up, cradling his balls as she firmed her grip on him with her right, her thumb moving up and back over the prominent vein on the underside.

"Just us." he repeated, releasing his grip on her hand so he could find the warm wet haven at the juncture of her soft thighs, parting it with trembling but sure strokes of his fingers.

They traded kisses and touches, finding their releases separately but together.

Two days later they had the session with Claire where she'd told them they had gone beyond her expectations and she'd removed the restrictions.

That night Michael was sick as a dog, probably from eating something he shouldn't have while out chasing after Sam and the other bigger boys, and they had to stay up and care for a weeping, puking, sad toddler.

The next morning he'd left on the mission to Sanctuary.

Now he was back and they were practically necking in the middle of the street in broad daylight, much to the amusement of several passersby.

"They're staying all night?" Daryl asked again, this time a bit plaintively, looking at Aaron and Eric's house across the street, making her chuckle.

"All night." Carol nodded but then tilted her head at him and smiled, "You want to stop and see them first, don't you?"

"Then the shower," Daryl nodded, and then kissed her, making sure she knew he was all about them going home alone after they checked in with their sons.

"Good thing she resigned from the Junior League; they're making quite a spectacle of themselves." Aaron sniffed to Eric from the Adirondack chair next to his on the porch, ribbing him about what he'd thought of Carol when she'd first come to Alexandria.

"Junior League?" Tara snorted from the rocking chair next to him, little Hershel cuddled into her side asleep, curved around her big baby belly. "She's our warrior queen."

"Mommy! Daddy!" Mikey chirped, scrambling off Sam's lap on the porch swing and running over to rattle the bars on the baby gate in front of the porch steps, followed by his brother, making his parents break into huge smiles and hurry towards them.

AN: Warning: Comic book Spoilers!

I think this might be it for this ones, folks! I don't have the heart to take them into the next crisis in the comics, the Whisperers, in which a lot of fan favorite characters get taken out in one fell swoop at the big all community Fair, so I choose to just end it there with some happiness for Caryl.

I hope their on-going recovery rang true. It's not a one size fits all overnight process and requires a great deal of commitment to undergo such intense therapy. It took Carol and Daryl two years and a lot of work to get to the point they are at in this chapter.

I kept Negan alive (parallel to what Kirkman did in the comics where he's still alive, ugh!) mainly to keep Carol at Hilltop & so away from him as well as from Rick and Morgan. They both get on my nerves because of the way they treated Carol on the show. At the Prison Carol becomes a warrior in a garden, while Ricks tries to be a gardener in a war. Rick's banishment of her and Morgan's weird stalker obsession both made her doubt her (correct) natural instincts to protect those she loves. Rick outright murders people in their sleep and Daryl blows up a road full of people with an RPG and Morgan zeroes in to guilt trip Carol for what she's done? Seriously? I hate the whole Morgan/Carol story arc with a passion.

I tried to resolve some of the other character fates, though I know I probably left some hanging. At some point in the last two years Richonne happened, as did Heath & Denise, which is straight out of the comics, though I gave them a much happier ending. Taggie (Mara?), (something that people had been predicting could happen if Glenn gets his comic book fate) was also a choice.

The need to repopulate the earth would be a driving force for any survivors of such a devastating depopulation event as the walker sickness, and the need for genetic diversity would require women to have children with multiple men, so the idea of Daryl fathering a child with someone else and Tara having Eric or Aaron's child and all of them raising it together could become the norm. I suppose Enid, Carl and Ron could make it work in a few more years...

Thank you so much to everyone who has read and commented on this one. I think it's one of the longest I've written and dealt with issues that are very important and personal to me.