Proper apologies are to be found at the bottom. Yes, I'm forcing you to read through the whole thing before getting an apology from me. Or, you know, just scroll down to the bottom of the page and not mind the story at all. Dirty cheater.

Disclaimer: The To Aru franchise is not owned by me. If it was, it would have long sunk because of my poor time management and commitment issues.

Back to the present

The elevator dinged as it reached the 7th floor of a certain dorm. As the doors opened, out stepped a sweating Kamijou Touma, complete with a bunch of groceries on hand and a snoring Mikoto on his back. Somewhere along the way, Mikoto had fallen asleep, which just prompted the youth to take even more care not to rouse her from her slumber while making his way back home.

The sky had already been dark for some time now. It being a Saturday, one would expect the streets to be filled with people once the sun had set. Miraculously though, Kamijou had avoided bumping into anyone the entire way home. He was thankful for that at least; he had no idea how to explain himself if he was caught and questioned by a passing Anti-skill or Judgement officer. Worst of all, it would have defeated the purpose of trying to keep Mikoto's state of inebriation a secret.

So, rather uneventfully, Kamijou Touma had finally reached the finish line that was his dorm room. He tapped the door lightly with his foot a few times and shouted, "Oi Index, open up, my arms are kinda full and-" Oh right, I sent Index away to Komoe-sensei's, didn't I?

He moved to reach for his keys in his pocket when-

"Just wait a bit human, I'll get the door open," Othinus's voice rang out from inside the room.

It had slipped his mind that there was another freeloader that now took residence in his room.

A scuttling sound could be heard from the other side of the door. A minute passed with the noise still going, but the door still remained closed. Kamijou had begun to wonder if he should ask if everything was alright when the door finally swung outwards.

"...Othinus?"

The ex-Magic God was dangling helplessly from the door's handle. Given that she was only fifteen centimeters tall, her feet were well off the ground. How the hell had she even managed to reach that high?

Othinus greeted him with a straight face, "Welcome back."

"..."

"..."

They stared at each other for a good five seconds. Showing an enormous amount of self-control, Kamijou refrained from saying anything as he put the bags of groceries to the side and held an empty hand just below Othinus's feet. Othinus let go of the door knob and landed on his palm. He promptly lowered her closer to the ground; low enough to allow Othinus to jump off.

"... Can I just say something?" Kamijou nervously asked once they were inside.

"Why? Nothing happened that's worth talking about. There's no point in you asking for permission."

"B-but what that just now? How were you able to reach the door knob like that? Is it the same as with insects that even though they're smaller, their disproportionate strength more than makes up for it? Like how fleas can jump a thousand times their height and still land safely, or how ants can carry a hundred times their own weight that can easily crush them to death?"

"... Of all things to compare me to, those are the ones that you choose? An ant and a flea? Insects? It's because of how small I am now, isn't it? Do you really want to be beaten up that badly?"

Othinus was exuding a murderous aura, one thick enough that Kamijou couldn't help but take a step back. He could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

"Ah, er, sorry. I-I just said the first things that came to mind, really, hehehe." Kamijou tried to pacify Othinus's anger. "...But it sure would be convenient for staving off Sphinx from your food, huh?"

This comment earned him a punch to the shin. While normally one would kick instead of punching it, such was the physical limitations imposed upon Othinus by her own body. Nonetheless, even with her diminutive state, the damage delivered was pretty much the same, if not more.

"YYOOOOOOOWWWWW! Would you not attack me while I'm carrying someone on my back?! And do you have any idea how dangerous the situation would be if we were to fall over and Misaka bumped her head and woke up?!"

"Then stop saying stupid things all the time. Just so you know, I believe that corporal punishment is the best way to teach someone that they're wrong. So don't expect me to hold back if you keep saying idiotic things like that."

"Why so much contempt?! Don't tell me that you're actually mad about me foiling your plans back in Sargosso and that you plan to take that rage out on me now that I've somehow lowered my guard around you?! That you're actually just waiting for me to be asleep, then you would— GAAAAAAHHH! FUKOU DAAAAAAAAA!"

It was amazing that Mikoto still managed to sleep through all that shouting and jumping about.

After they had both calmed down a bit, Kamijou carried Mikoto to his bed and laid her down gently. As he looked down at her still-sleeping figure, he couldn't help but notice the minute details about Mikoto: her light snoring, the way her sweat-matted locks clung to her face which was still slightly flushed, the way her chest rose and fell with each breath. Kamijou couldn't help but gulp at what he was seeing.

W-what's this? What is it with this sudden development? Just because she's all serene-like and not trying to zap me, it's like I've suddenly stumbled upon a different version of Biri-biri! Or is it simply that I'm suddenly seeing her in a new light now that she's all peaceful like this? Arrrgh! Could this be what that bastard Aogami calls a gap moe?!

Kamijou proceeded to slap himself in order to stop the impure thoughts that threatened to sprout from within his teenage mind. This earned him an odd look from Othinus who was standing by the side of the bed.

Having cleared away the Aogami-like train of thought that almost began, he also noticed that Mikoto's clothes were damp with sweat too, especially in the front. It seemed that she got most of it from his own sweaty shirt while he was carrying her.

Not good. If she were to sleep like this, she's sure to catch a cold by morning. I better do something about it.

"Othinus, come here and help me get Misaka out of her clothes."

"..."

"...Eh? O-Othinus-san? W-why are you glaring at me like that?"

"So that walking library of a nun wasn't exaggerating when she told me all about your tendencies. You really are a perverted pig that takes advantage of any situation, aren't you? And to think that I was defeated by the likes of you. Tch, you and your kind make me sick, and that's something coming from an ex-Magic God like me."

"W-what are talking about Othinus-san? I-I think there's some sort of misunderstanding going on here. I just wanted to— W-WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PULL OUT THAT KNIFE FROM?! ARE YOU SOME SORT OF CROSS-DIMENSIONAL CYBORG CAT OR SOMETHING?! WHAT DO YOU PLAN ON DOING WITH THAT?! SERIOUSLY, PUT THAT THING AWAY, I'M STARTING TO GET CONCERNED FOR MY WELL-BEING OVER HERE!"

"For all the crimes I've committed, I suppose it is only right that I do something for the world in repayment. By ridding this world of even one lecherous pervert, I believe that I can help make it a slightly better place. It can even be considered a partial atonement for my sins. Do not worry, I will take care of your Imagine Breaker once you have departed from this world. Brace yourself."

"Don't be so quick to write me off as useless and beyond saving! At least try to reform me before giving up and going straight for the kill, damn it! This is just a misunderstanding! I just wanted to get her out of her wet clothes so she wouldn't catch a cold, honest! So please put that knife away before you gouge my eyes out with it!"

Othinus considered his words for a bit before putting the knife away, while Kamijou remained cowering in the far corner.

"Honestly, do you never think about your words before you open your mouth? Now I see why that nun is so fond of biting your head. It's a wonder that you managed to survive this long without getting killed by someone you somehow pissed off."

Kamijou absently scratched his head as he got up from the floor. "W-well, I can't help it if I seem like this at times. Hehehe, so, uhm, with that cleared up, would you help me with Misaka's—" His words were stopped cold by another one of Othinus's glares.

"You really are a hopeless idiot, aren't you? Can't you imagine how inappropriate this situation is? A pure (Did Othinus just call Biri-biri pure?), sleeping girl about to be undressed by a hormonal teenage boy in his bedroom. Whoever you ask, surely they'll say either of two things of the boy: that he's a horny bastard, or an idiot beyond saving, with the latter choice clearly referring to you."

"..."

"Stop staring at me like that. Like I said, if I don't say things bluntly you will never learn, being the idiot that you are. Now go and change clothes in the bathroom; lest you may not have noticed since you were busy worrying over that girl over there, you yourself are clearly in need of a change of clothes. I'll handle changing her clothes. Just because I'm this small now doesn't mean that I can't do such a simple task as this."

Othinus shot him a dark gaze and added, "And if you even consider taking a peek, you'll get what's coming to you. Is that clear?"

"...Okay."

Having received a severe reprimanding from the fifteen centimeter tall being, the poor, abused Kamijou could only hang his head low in surrender as he got his pajamas and proceeded to the bathroom.

During a previous incident concerning a scantily-dressed imp and a loli head of a magic cabal, the bathroom's wall had been carved out, resulting in his bathroom's entrance being reduced to a gaping hole in the wall. Of course, he had received a scolding for destruction of property from his dorm manager while he was still confined to the hospital.

Amazingly enough, he had returned yesterday to find that the hole leading to his bathroom had been fixed. Kamijou had no idea where the fees for the repairs had come from, but he was thankful for whoever it was that covered the expenses. Now, he no longer had to worry about Index infiltrating his bathtub-bed in the dead of night.

After he locked the door behind him he let out an exasperated sigh.

Why does this keep happening to me? And here I thought that having Othinus here would make handling Index easier. Now, even with Index away I still have to put up with someone troublesome. The level of abuse I suffer has only risen! Nothing has changed for the better! If this trend goes on, the next freeloader that I'm forced to take in may very well be the death of me!

Of course, these thoughts were merely Kamijou lamenting his own misfortune. He continued to wallow in self-pity as he began to put on his pajamas.

After receiving an all-clear signal from Othinus, Kamijou exited the bathroom newly clothed. Mikoto was still lying down on the bed, but now she was wearing a pair of Index's pajama bottoms along with one of his shirts. Her Tokiwadai uniform was now laid to the side folded neatly.

It crossed Kamijou's mind to ask Othinus how she had managed to do all that alone in the short amount of time he was changing, but thought the better of it, lest she get angry again and punch him or worse.

As he came closer, he could hear that Othinus was mumbling something to herself.

"(Well at least I was somehow bigger than she is where it counts. Even though it's in the past now, I can still take pride in that fact. Hehehehe.)"

"Did you say something Othinus? And why is there a smug look on your face?

"Never mind that. Now," Othinus turned to face him as she expertly changed the subject, "are you going to tell me why you took this unconscious girl back to your dorm room or should I go call the police first?"

"Why are you assuming that my intentions were bad to begin with?!"

Kamijou launched into an explanation on how he found a drunk Mikoto in the park, and the circumstances why he couldn't just leave her by herself in that state. (He emphasized that he had nothing to do with how she had wound up drunk in the park in the first place.) All throughout his storytelling, Othinus just sat on the bed and listened.

"—So this is the 3rd level 5 of Academy City? The Railgun, was it? Isn't she the one that beat you back in Denmark?"

"Er, actually, she just caught me off-guard then. And it wasn't as if we were really fighting like that back then. I just wanted to have her give up and let us pass through."

"That still doesn't change the fact that she beat you. What, are you so petty that you can't accept the fact that you were beaten by a girl?"

"Please stop putting words in my mouth, I said nothing of the sort!"

"I still don't get why you can't just hand her over to the authorities— what do you call them? Anti-skill? Why not let them handle the situation?"

"Well, Misaka is actually the poster girl for the power curriculum program in Academy City. If word were to get out that their poster girl got drunk while still a minor, it would be a pretty big controversy. It just might be enough to turn away some people from enrolling in the program. Misaka would get in a lot of trouble with the officials of the city if anything like that happened."

Othinus nodded at this. Then, as if realizing something, Othinus stood up abruptly on the bed.

"Wait, so you mean to say you carried her all the way from the park to here on your back, and you didn't bump into anybody?"

Kamijou was surprised at Othinus's sudden outburst. He scratched the back of his head while wearing a stupid grin on his face.

"W-well yeah, I think. It went smoothly all the way to here, I didn't even have to hide behind corners or anything like that. I guess I was just lucky? Hehehe-"

He stopped mid-laugh, frozen, with his mouth still open.

Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait. Me? Lucky? Isn't there something wrong with this picture?

He realized just how absurd his words had been.

Othinus seemed to realize this as well. She was shaking her head, as if from pity.

"Could it be that you just used up what meager luck you have left for the next month or two just to pull that off? If that's the case, then expect that things will now almost always take a turn for the worse whenever you're involved."

She let that sink in for a while before adding, "If I were you, I'd start sincerely praying for my life."

"They could have at least had me bump into someone I could somehow explain the situation to! That way, the blow to my stocked up luck wouldn't have been so drastic! Does this mean that I have to lock myself in my room until the new year rolls in? At this rate, nobody would find it surprising at all if a meteor somehow appears and flattens me and only me! Gaaahhh! At least give me back some of my luck, damn iiiiiiit!"

After emitting a guttural scream of despair, Kamijou flopped down on the floor, unmoving. Othinus alighted from the bed and approached him. When she was right next to his head, she began pulling and twisting his ear.

"Human, did you die from shock or something? If so, then come back to life and look at the time, it's already late and you still haven't cooked dinner for us and your guest."

"..."

"Stop moping about already. As if you aren't already used to being unlucky all the time. And besides, everything I said was mere speculation. We have no way to tell if that's really the case, so just suck it up and go about like normal as if nothing had happened. Isn't that what you're good at doing anyway?"

Othinus had a point. Kamijou begrudgingly got up from the floor and patted the dust off of himself.

"You know, ever since you moved in here with us, my every waking moment have become completely filled with verbal retorts and physical harassment."

"You're just imagining things because your stomach is empty. Now go and fix something up for us to eat already."

Having just come back from grocery shopping, Kamijou's choice of what food he could possibly prepare was vast. And since a particular nagging nun that would always pester him to cook faster was absent for the night, he could actually take advantage of the moment and cook something he had been meaning to try for a while now. He confirmed that he had all the ingredients he needed and proceeded to work on the dish. Shortly after, the sound of chopping and sizzling filled Kamijou's room.

With all the misfortune that constantly surrounded him, it was easy to forget that Kamijou had spent the last half of the year or so taking care of Index, a feat that no one who knew of her monstrous appetite would dare say be easy. Even if Index wasn't really picky with what she eats, the culminated experience that Kamijou earned from repeatedly fixing up food for her was not something one could just dismiss. Add to the fact that he lived next door to someone closely related to a high-end maid-in-training, and that he was constantly exposed to different culture's cuisines, it would suffice to say that his cooking skill was already beyond the average person's.

After just a few minutes, an aromatic smell wafted from the kitchen area to where Othinus and Mikoto were. Othinus sniffed the air and was intrigued at how good it smelled. Even Mikoto started stirring in her sleep. Othinus padded over to the kitchen where Kamijou was stirring a pot while lowering the heat of the stove. She tugged at his pants bottom and gestured to be brought up to the kitchen counter.

After Kamijou put her down on the counter, he scooped up a spoonful of what was cooking and put it onto a tasting dish. He angled the dish in his hand towards Othinus.

"Here, taste this Othinus. Ah- hey, don't forget to blow on it first, it's piping hot… So? Do you think it needs more salt?"

"... Wow. This is actually quite good. What is it?"

"It's just miso soup. I added in a bit of dried scallops, along with a little chili to spice it up a bit. A friend from the Amakusa church one cooked it for me and Index, she was kind enough to leave behind some tips if I ever wanted to try cooking it myself. I never got around to trying it until now."

"I'm impressed, human. I honestly never would have thought that you had this kind of skill."

"Hehe. Just because this Kamijou Touma's life is full of misfortune, doesn't mean that I spend all my free time dodging knives, bullets, esper abilities and magic spells. Of course I would have one or two hidden skills that are just waiting to debut to the world! Impressed?"

"Not really. That Ollerus disguised as Thor is still a better cook in my opinion, and that's saying something given how that guy chooses to spend his free time. But I guess that's to be expected since he's always with that Saint maid girl."

"Haha, ha, ha… I can't believe that I'd lose to someone who looks so laid-back all the time. I just can't win, can I?" Kamijou exclaimed with a sigh. He grabbed a frying pan from the drawer and put it over the stove. After lighting the fire, he proceeded to prepare the ingredients for the next dish as he let the soup simmer for a bit more.

Speaking of which, I wonder how Itsuwa is doing? I haven't seen her at all since I came back from that World War 3 fiasco. I hope she's doing okay…

"A-chu!"

At the sound of a cute sneeze, Tatemiya Saiji put down the plate he was currently washing to look over to the right and at his partner, Itsuwa. It was just after lunch time in England, and the two were cleaning the dishes together after eating lunch with the rest of the Amakusa Christians.

Itsuwa had put down the towel she was using for drying off the plates that Tatemiya handed over to her, and instead had a handkerchief over her mouth.

"Oi, Itsuwa, are you alright? Did you catch a cold or something?"

The Amakusa-style Church incorporated magic into their everyday routines and gestures. As such, catching a disease, even one as measly as a cold, was treated very seriously by their sect. Tatemiya was genuinely worried for Itsuwa, but Itsuwa denied his inquiry while waving her hands at him.

"I-I'm okay Chief Pontiff-sama, really! It's nothing to be worried about," she dismissed his concern with a smile on her face.

"Hmmm, well okay then, if you say so." Tatemiya shrugged and went back to washing the dishes.

He couldn't be sure if it was just him, but for some reason, Itsuwa seemed oddly happy and perky for the rest of the day.

After having cooked a multitude of dishes due to getting a bit carried away by the absence of a meddling sister, Kamijou tried to wake Mikoto up to get her to eat something.

When finally up, it seemed that Mikoto was in some kind of post-drunken stupor or something. They had somehow gotten her to sit on the floor facing the table, but that was it. No matter how much Othinus or Kamijou talked to her or waved their hands in front of her, she merely continued to stare blankly at the wall while swaying slowly in place. It also meant that the dreaded (one-sided) confrontation would be left for tomorrow.

He didn't know whether to be thankful or not for Mikoto's state of stupor.

However, once the food had been laid on the table, she had immediately begun devouring the food in front of her. Kamijou was particularly quick to react to this and grabbed some of the food away from her. He set what little he could get his hands on on the floor. At least he and Othinus had something left for them to eat.

"O-oi, Misaka, take it easy with the food, will you? Ahh, you might choke if you try to eat that piece whole, you need to— uhmm, ah, nevermind."

"Oh dear, it seems like that nun has a budding protege in this esper that she doesn't know about."

"Please refrain from saying such ominous things so casually Othi-chan. I fear that if it comes out of your mouth, the probability of it actually happening might skyrocket. And I just know that somehow, I'll get cajoled into being responsible for the repercussions. What then would become of this poor Kamijou?"

It seemed as though this particular dorm room was cursed to always have one resident with a black hole for a stomach. Kamijou resigned himself to such a fate and silently resumed eating from the plates set on the floor, all the while watching Mikoto devour the food on the table.

"Still though, I never would have thought that Misaka was one to eat like this. It definitely clashes with her ojou-sama character background— err, come to think of it, I guess this just adds another nail to that coffin"

Othinus set down the bottle cap she had been using as a bowl and turned to answer him.

"It's more probable that her body subconsciously craves to be filled to counteract the alcohol in her system. Consuming alcohol results in a loss of nutrients that it needs, to an extent. You mentioned that she was tossing her guts earlier, right? That may be why she won't respond to any of our actions; her body wants to replenish what it lost. She must just be running on her body's cravings alone. Just let her eat as she pleases for the moment. And don't forget to leave a bottle of water for her to drink after; her body needs to stay hydrated as much as possible. Alcohol is a strong diuretic, she'd become severely dehydrated and suffer from a massive hangover the next morning due to the lack of fluids. It's best to try to keep as much water in her as possible for the time being."

Without breaking stride or pausing, Othinus held out the bottle cap towards Kamijou. "More rice please."

Kamijou's face bore an incredulous look as he stared at Othinus. It was the kind of face one would be expected to make after hearing a friend oh-so casually disprove string theory or if they suddenly listed off over a hundred fetishes that they were into; one of these which actually happened to him before.

W-wow. Thor was right, she really does like to explain things doesn't she?

Othinus was not amused with the face he was making. "What? Why are you making such a stupid face human?"

"Eh, no, I just, err… I never expected such scientific… er, terms, coming from a magician, least of all from you."

"You insult me human. Of course I should know at least this much. Don't forget that the first process I planned to use to summon Gungnir utilized both science and magic. I'm not completely ignorant of science, so it stands to reason that I am somehow knowledgeable to a certain degree. And besides, this is basic stuff for teenagers to know, and I'm still technically a teen. What, don't tell me you don't have any experience with alcohol before?"

"Just that one time, and I was kind of forced-fed it even then. Does that count?"

Othinus couldn't help but sigh at this. "Just give me some rice already."

After a few minutes of ravenous eating passed, Mikoto grabbed the bottle of water Kamijou had set down beside her. She drained it all in one go, and right after emptying it, slowly closed her eyes and dropped facedown on the table with a dull thud.

"Zzzzzzz… Thankzzz for the… Zzzz…"

It seemed that Mikoto wouldn't be getting up again for tonight. With the frenzy finally over, Kamijou let out a sigh of relief. Despite the eagerness that frenzied-Mikoto had shown, she still wasn't able to completely clear the table of food. He was relieved that Mikoto's stomach capacity was still leagues away from Index's.

"Knowing one black hole incarnate is enough for one life. Thank goodness at least that Misaka isn't like Index. Speaking of which, I should put some of these in the fridge for when Index comes back."

"Pass me some of that miso soup first human."

"You're still not done eating?"

"You do realize that I am making do with a bottle cap and toothpicks as makeshift eating utensils. These aren't exactly made for eating, just in case you didn't know."

"Okay, okay, here you go. Jeez, even after eating you're still cranky."

"Hm? Were you muttering something human?"

"N-nothing, nothing!", Kamijou sighed. "Fukou da."

"I thought so. Also, some more of that fried chicken please."

Rather than watch Othinus try to eat fried chicken that was the size of her face[1], Kamijou opted to clear the table instead. He stored what food was left in the fridge and put away the dirty dishes in the sink to be washed.

The unfortunate boy's dorm room fell into an uncharacteristic atmosphere of peace. The only sounds to be heard were from the running water from the tap, the clanking of plates, the sound of Othinus eating, and a faint snoring from Mikoto, who was still sleeping facedown on the table.

Ahh, it's times like this that should be treasured. Normal folks who argue that living like this is bland and boring don't know how good they've got it.

After washing and putting away the utensils (Othinus's included) and re-applying the bandages to his arm, he tried to rouse Mikoto once more to get her off the table. Alas, Mikoto was unresponsive again, so he was forced to hoist her back onto the bed. It struck him again how such a powerful (and scary) girl like Mikoto could seem so dainty and light. Of course, he was aware that voicing these concerns out loud if she was awake would just contribute to more injuries in his part.

"You're pretty touchy-feely with your girls, aren't you?" quipped Othinus from the side of the bed.

"Says the freeloader who just looks on and doesn't help. And what do you mean by 'my girls'?"

Kamijou tucked Mikoto (who was mumbling something about Gekota, spiky hairs and idiots) into bed, making sure that the blanket completely covered her body. He wouldn't want her to catch a cold from the lately freezing nights in Academy City. Once satisfied that she would comfortable, he moved to the foot of the bed and proceeded to gather Mikoto's clothes in his arms.

"Oi oi oi, wait a moment there."

"Hm?"

Othinus bounded over to him and pointed an accusatory finger at the seemingly confused Kamijou.

"What do you think you're gonna do with those, huh?"

"What, with Misaka's clothes?"

"What else would I be talking about? Are you the kind of pervert that goes to sleep while burying his face into used women's underwear? Have you been doing it all this time in private with that nun's clothes? You make me sick."

"Why is it already an established fact that I'm a pervert?! Can you at least let me defend myself before labelling me as something like Aogami's apprentice?!"

With a sigh, Kamijou opened the balcony door and proceeded outside. Othinus followed right behind him.

"Look, it wouldn't do to let her go home tomorrow still wearing our clothes, right? I figured that I would just hang them up here to dry out at least. That way, she'd have something decent to wear."

Plus, I won't have to endure a returning-of-washed-clothes-after-she-borrowed-it-when-she-spent-the-night-over event after all this is over, Kamijou thought. He grabbed a bunch of spare hangers and started hanging Mikoto's jacket on the suspended wire.

"Okay, I'll admit that you do have a fair point. But that doesn't change the fact that you're ever-so-willing to man-handle a maiden's clothes."

"Please, who do you think has been washing Index's clothes all this time? They're just clothes." Kamijou bragged with a smug look on his face. "Don't mock the experiences that I've accumulated these past few months. I'm not just some boy who would act all perverted just because I've come to possess a woman's worn clothing."

"Hoooh? So what you're saying is you've pretty much seen and experienced things that are significantly worse, to the point that you are no longer fazed by merely seeing or touching a lady's underwear?"

"..."

"Your silence and sweat speaks volumes."

"A-anyway, the point is that it's no big deal for me now, so there's nothing wrong with me doing this! Nope, this doesn't do anything for me at all anymore! This is totally okay!"

"That's not something that you should be bragging about, human, especially while holding someone's underwear high up. Now even I can't help but feel a bit sorry for you."

Kamijou finished hanging up Mikoto's clothes to dry, spraying them with a bit of fabric softener as an afterthought. Having nothing left to do, he began getting ready for bed.

"Hey human, where am I supposed to sleep like this?"

"Huh? Haven't you always slept on the bed with Index? What's the matter with sleeping like usual?"

"That's just because that nun always manages to grab me right before she lies down to sleep. And when she finally does sleep, I'm left being smothered by her nonexistent chest until the next day. It's not like I have a choice in the matter. At least it somehow staves off that monster of a cat from playing with me in the dead of the night."

Kamijou refrained from pointing out the low blow in Othinus's words, and the fact that there wouldn't be much of a difference between Index and Mikoto's "circumstance". Truly, the blessed ones look down on the less fortunate; this belief was further strengthened in his mind, and he promised to himself that he would never turn into someone who would think like that.

"Well, what would you suggest? If you want, I can lay out the extra futon for you, but wouldn't it be suffocating to sleep in something that big?" Not to mention how much it adds insult to injury regarding her new size.

"Admittedly, that WOULD look rather silly. Well… I guess I can settle on sleeping inside a drawer. Just make sure you add enough bedding to it; if I wake up tomorrow with a sore back, expect to wake up blind in one eye."

"Okay okay, there's no need to push your Nordic roots symbolism onto me you know. Wait, then what will you do if the drawer accidentally closes on its own? Won't you be trapped inside?"

The idea seems to have not occurred to Othinus. She mulled the possibility of it in her head for a moment, then glared at Kamijou.

"Leave it to you to come up with such an idea. I wouldn't be surprised if you waited for me to be fast asleep, then proceeded to lock the drawer yourself, leaving me none the wiser. Truly despicable."

"That's why I pointed it out in the first place! And what's up with your impression of me?! Did I do something to make you paint me as such a bad guy?!"

Kamijou pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to drive off the sudden headache he was feeling. Doing too many retorts back-to-back has taken its toll on him. As if he wasn't tired enough already to begin with. He had to resolve this soon and finally get some rest.

"Look, if it bothers you that much then you can just sleep on the bed with Misaka. Just lie down further up the pillow so she won't accidentally crush you in her sleep."

"Then what will we do when she wakes up and sees a diminutive ex-fugitive sleeping beside her?"

"I'll leave that up to tomorrow's Kamijou and tomorrow's Othinus. I honestly can't be bothered right now, I just reeeeeeally want to get some sleep." Kamijou grabbed his pillows and blanket and started for the bathroom.

"Hey hey hey. Now hold on human." Othinus jumped down from the bed and approached Kamijou. "Who knows what this gal would do when she suddenly wakes up somewhere unfamiliar? I can imagine that you wouldn't want her to throw a fit, least of all inside your room."

Kamijou dismissed her concerns with a wave of his hand. "Don't worry about that. She's seen my room once already, and who knows, maybe she'll wake up and remember everything that happened tonight. At least she'd know that you're not hostile. But whatever happens, like I said, I trust future Kamijou and Othinus to come up with something to deal with it."

"...I can't believe that you would suddenly turn into someone so useless when dealing with equally useless things like this. I thought you were the kind of person to face everything head-on, no matter how minor they might seem. Talk about disillusionment."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Good niiight."

"Hey, wai–"

Kamijou shut the door behind him, cutting off Othinus's retort mid-word. He let out another yawn as he reflexively locked the bathroom door and started towards the bathtub. He stopped mid-turn when a thought suddenly appeared in his head. Kamijou deliberated over it for a moment. He weighed the pros and cons, what it would entail, and if something were to go wrong, whether he would still have his head attached to his body after everything was over. With a reluctant nod, he undid the lock, silently at that in order not to clue in Othinus on what he was thinking.

I sure hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the butt tomorrow.

With the deed done, he proceeded inside the shower room and locked the sliding door closed. Hopefully, it would be enough this time to keep his sleeping self safe from intruders. Just remembering the past incident with Lessar and Birdway was enough to give him goosebumps. Dispelling his shudder, Kamijou carefully climbed into his so-called bed and laid down.

Despite being the one to tell Othinus to not worry about Misaka, I guess I still can't help but worry about it myself. Hopefully, I'll wake up first from the noise before Misaka decides to kill us or burn the dorm down. Or both.

Just before closing his eyes, he couldn't help but slip out one last act of defiance against his predicament, however useless it might be.

"Fukou da."

[1] Fried chicken, or kara-age as they're known in Japan, are mostly chicken meat filleted and shaped into spheres before being fried. They're served in bite-sized pieces instead of whole parts like what most are accustomed to.

AN and apology:

Soooooo, heyyy. Long time no see guys. I know I know, I said maybe April or May of 2015, and tadaaa, it's almost 2017 already. -.- Life just became too much of a hassle. Got stuffed everyday with deadlines, and on the off-days I get distracted by my ever-so-growing backlog of games, LNs and animes. Before I knew it, it was already June of 2016. Oh how time flies, hahaha, haha, ha... *sigh*

Truth be told, this piece was already finished a reaaaally long time ago. I just wanted to finish the 4th chapter before publishing this one. Big mistake, still haven't finished tying up all the scattered parts of the story I've already written. May the fanfic gods bestow upon me the drive to continue writing this glorious piece, so that I can finally, FINALLY, read NT13.

Yeah, I've managed to hold off reading past NT12 for almost TWO YEARS, since I didn't want to spoil my mindset on Mikoto's character. Consider it a penance on my part for not having finished this early enough. Really though, I'm super super sorry that this took forever to update. Hopefully, I can squeeze in some time here and there to finish up on the last chapter. Then, it would be up to my unofficial "editors" (*ehem* Wisampa-senpai *ehem*) to criticize and scold me to the ground for disappearing for so long. Uggh, I'm reeaally not looking forward to that.

Now to the story. Sorry if Othi-chibi is a bit OOC here. As I said, I haven't read anything past NT12 yet, so any inconsistencies in Othinus's character is purely Kamachi's fault (I kid, he's basically one of the writing gods. Don't curse me please.). So I ask for a little leeway on that, and for the next chapter as well.

This chapter was reaaaally dialogue-heavy, seeing that the scene consists of two characters and a technically incapacitated one stuck in a small room with nothing much to do, there really was not much to be done. I'm just hoping that most of you found the dialogues tasteful, if not bearable at least.

Acknowledgements! Thanks to 61wisampa for the monthly reminders that I still have a fanfic to finish, also for a bunch of editting and criticism for this chapter, as well as GreatSnapper as well. Still not so sure that I found all the typos and the errors, so I hope that you guys can bear with it.

Or, you know, say it to me to the face. Reviews are always welcome, especially the critical ones. I also like the funny ones that tend to downplay how horrible a writer I am, and how I'm so into self-depreciation and meta jokes. Still, if you have anything to say about the story, be it good or bad, feel free to write a review.

And so, here we go again with the waiting game. Expect at least a month or two, maybe a year (hoepfully not) before you hear from me again. Or maybe I drop another random fanfic for another series, I dunno, inspiration be my guide. I really hope you guys manage to stick with me till the end, especially since it's the last chapter.

And with that awefully prepared apology, let's meet the next time I write again.

Seriously, at this point all I'm praying for is I haven't ruined the series or the characters for any of you guys.

Adieu

~Vindex101