Tony wasn't quite sure why he felt the need to go for a walk along the pier but the blue sky, the sun glinting on the waves to create little diamond points of light, the light fluffy clouds being driven by the rising wind all suddenly seemed to make the world a beautiful place which could best be seen from the pier – and there was no time to waste! Tony broke into a run and raced towards the pier.

When he got there, running seemed almost sacrilegious. Such a glorious place demanded a more considered response. Dance, he realised, that was what was needed! Long suppressed memories flooded back: his mother trying to teach him the waltz in some fancy restaurant; a sports coach employing a ballet teacher to try to instil grace and control into a teenage basketball team and Ducky taking him and his mother to the ballet leading to Tony having to defend his honour against a Mrs Mallard who was enchanted to find that her son had thoughtfully brought the Italian gigolo along.

Yes, thought Tony, dancing was the way, the only way, to express the joy of a perfect day and he leapt into the air in what he thought was a jeté and then giggled at the thought that he was doing a jeté on a jetty. Dancing and poetry were a perfect combination to celebrate the ecstasy of living, he decided. He performed another jeté and as he stumbled a bit on landing tried to turn into a pirouette which led to him tumbling to the ground. He lay there for a moment or two and watched the clouds soar past; he spotted a hippo fly past and made a note to tell Abby but was then distracted by something that looked like an enormous cup of coffee float on to the horizon.

He lurched to his feet and did a few pliés to settle himself before setting off on a series of jetés which brought him to the edge of the pier. He gazed across the sparkling waves and then found his mood beginning to change as the diamond points of light seemed to look more like tear drops and he grew sad at the thought of so much sorrow in the world. Tony's limbs began to feel heavier and heavier and his head seemed to be even heavier, so heavy that he found himself leaning over the water until gravity won and he toppled head first into the sea.

NCISNCIS

"Tony!" shouted Tim, as he saw Tony take a header into the ocean.

"What's going on? What's happened? Tim?" came a chorus of voices from the other end of the phone.

"Tony's fallen into the water," said Tim.

"Go get him!" said Gibbs.

"Are you up to date on your CPR?" asked Ducky.

"O-o-h, Tony!" wailed Abby and a Bert fart sounded in sympathy.

But Tim didn't hear any of this. He had flung the phone down and was running towards the pier.

"Man in the water!" he shouted but realised that there was nobody nearer than him.

Tim always exceeded the NCIS physical requirements but that was due to hard work and perseverance rather than the natural athleticism of a Gibbs or DiNozzo and he felt daunted at the responsibility that faced him now. He kept running, however, towards the need rather than away, trying to keep calm as he scanned the water hoping to see a perfectly cut head of hair bobbing up and down.

As Tim stretched his legs and pumped his arms he suddenly realised that he was still clutching the Transformer lunch box and for a moment wished he could transform himself into some athletic super machine. He was about to toss the lunch box aside when, unbidden, the picture of him shooting hoops with uncharacteristic accuracy that morning came to mind. And, according to Ducky, it was all down to nutter butters!

Almost without thinking he wrenched a cookie from his lunch box and stuffed it in his mouth before throwing everything else away as he continued to run toward the pier. Even as he swallowed the nutter butter he remembered Ducky's dire warnings about the unpredictability of the compound which Victor had used and, absurdly, his mom's strict rule against not eating immediately before swimming. Then he remembered how he had wobbled unsteadily in front of Tony's cabin earlier in the day and he knew that he had made a terrible mistake and that Tony would die as a result.

Tim's mind might be having doubts but his body was still intent on racing to the rescue and as he ran, Tim became aware of a great clarity sweeping through him and another picture flashed into his mind. This time he remembered the drive down from DC, the feeling he had of being one with the car, hyper aware of everything that was going on around him: Tim believed he had never driven so well in his life and he knew, without doubt, that he could rescue Tony.

In a shorter time than he had thought possible his feet were pounding the wooden boards of the pier. Unlike Tony, he had no desire to dance or write poetry; he was focussed on one thing only. He reached the spot from which he thought Tony had taken his dive and stopped to look over the edge but he couldn't see anything except the bobbing waves. In a moment he had made his decision and jumped in the ocean and kicked strongly towards the surface. When his head broke through the waves he looked around him but there was no sign of Tony so he dived down again to try and catch sight of his missing co-worker.

NCISNCIS

The shock of landing in the cold water jolted Tony out of his stupor and he managed to kick for the surface. Once there, however, he realised that his limbs were leaden and were reluctant to obey his commands. The waves pushed him under the pier and after a moment or two, he realised that might be his best chance of survival as he was able to grab hold of one of the pier supports although he lacked the energy to use it to climb up out of the water.

He flung his arms round the post and sighed with relief but the cold water soon stopped stimulating his senses and lethargy returned and his grasp on the wooden support loosened. The waves pushed and pulled his body and he found himself enjoying a sense of being rocked almost as if he was being lulled in a cradle. One part of his brain tried to warn him against this relaxation but he was too tired to listen to it and instead allowed himself to be tossed to and fro against the pier.

Tim, meanwhile, was still searching for Tony. As he surfaced from his tenth dive down to look for him, Tim had another moment of insight, he stopped his manic activity and let the waves take him where they wanted hoping they would push him in the same direction they had sent Tony. He had a moment or two of panic when he realised that he was being pushed under the pier but he forced himself to keep calm and trust in his enhanced powers. He peered around him and, just as he was about to give up and swim back out, he caught a glimpse of something clinging loosely to a lump of wood.

"Tony!" he shouted and swam towards him.

"McMarlin!" Tony beamed at him in welcome, "Hi!"

Tim realised that the nutter butter effect was beginning to wane as even his increased intellectual capacity couldn't grasp why Tony was calling him Marlin.

"What?" he spluttered.

"Finding Nemo," slurred Tony, "Marlin finds Nemo. Didn't you come to find me?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Tim, "let's get you out of this before Bruce the shark comes along."

"He's a vegetarian shark," said Tony earnestly, "we'd be OK. But you're right, he does relapse sometimes, p'raps we'd better go."

"Give me your arm," ordered McGee.

"Why?" said Tony, "where are we going? What are we doing here anyway? I thought we were going to have lunch."

Tim seemed to remember there was a fish in Finding Nemo who suffered from memory loss and he began to think he had more in common with Marlin than he realised. He sighed and tried to pull Tony away again.

"Wait," said Tony, "I've lost Kate. And Ziva! We need to find them too," and to Tim's alarm he put his head under the water as if to look for them.

"Millie's looking after them," lied Tim, "they're waiting for you at the café."

Tony peered suspiciously at Tim, "are you fibbing? I don't believe you."

"Millie's made you a lasagne," said Tim cunningly.

Tony thought this over and seemed to be wavering.

"With garlic bread," said Tim with sudden inspiration.

This was the winning touch, "OK," said Tony, happily sacrificing fishy Kate and Ziva to his stomach and allowing Tim to tow him out from the pier. As they emerged from under the pier, Tim could see people gathering on the beach and decided to make for them rather than work out how to climb up on to the pier. He felt a tug on his arm and saw Tony sinking beneath the water; he managed to pull him up quickly but realised that he couldn't expect any help from Tony in getting to the shore.

Fortunately the tide was coming in and helped wash Tony and Tim to the beach. Tim felt the nutter butter effect wearing off more quickly than it had earlier in the day and he just managed to reach the beach before complete exhaustion claimed him. As his eyes closed, he saw people clustering round Tony and he knew he had done all that he could.

NCISNCIS

"It is as I thought, the effects of the insidious compound varied greatly according to the physiology of the person who ingested it. For Timothy it seemed to cause heightened awareness, clarity of thought and enhanced physical abilities whereas for Anthony it did the reverse …"

Tony emerged from a deep sleep to hear Ducky discoursing on Victor's invention. He opened his eyes to find that he was tucked up in bed in his cabin and that Dr Murray, Ducky, Tim and Gibbs were sitting at his kitchen table nursing hot drinks.

"Might have to get some of that chemical," said Gibbs drily, "it seems to shut DiNozzo up!"

"You didn't hear him arguing with me under the pier," argued Tim, "I could have done with him being quiet then."

"Tut, tut," said Ducky, "Jethro, I'm surprised at you suggesting that we drug Anthony! You can't pretend you weren't concerned, the way you drove us down here to make sure all was well. Besides, you forget that we witnessed you terrifying Victor in interrogation. Timothy, I suggest you watch the recording when you have a chance. I must say, it was a master class in intimidation. Victor cracked like the proverbial egg. So, Jethro, you can't pretend that you approve of Anthony being drugged!"

Gibbs shrugged modestly. Privately he didn't think that Victor had been a worthy opponent but he had made the mistake of endangering the MCRT and that demanded a response of the greatest magnitude.

"Never cross a chemist," announced Tony authoritatively and alerting everyone to his return to consciousness.

"Anthony!" said Ducky with delight, "at last! You have been enjoying a rather long sleep. And don't worry, you hardly said anything during your slumbers."

"DiNozzo. Bout time you woke up. You're not much of a host, you know," said Gibbs with a characteristic half smile.

Dr Murray was clearly enjoying himself. He hadn't had this much fun since Tony's last visit to Milsom Bay.

"Well, my boy," he said, "Like I said, you certainly liven this place up. Millie's doing a roaring trade at the café with everyone wanting to know what happened. The Milsom Bay Ladies' Lunch Club want to book you and McGee to talk at their next meeting and the Minister is going to invite you to talk in church about your experiences: he wants to tie it in with talking about Jonah and the Whale."

"Right," said Tony uncertainly and then winced as some aches and pains made themselves known.

"Ah, yes," said Ducky sorrowfully, "I fear you have a number of bumps and scratches from colliding with the pier on numerous occasions. But there is nothing broken, you'll be pleased to know."

"Didn't hurt at the time," moaned Tony, "it felt quite restful, being carried by the waves."

"Yes," said Ducky, "that was the effect the Victor compound had on you. I wonder, Dr Murray, whether you have ever come across such varied reactions to one chemical …' and he began a learned discussion with the other doctor.

"Hey, Tim," said Tony as his still sluggish brain caught up with what had happened, "did you come and rescue me?"

"Sort of," admitted Tim.

"What do you mean 'sort of'?" asked Tony, "I distinctly remember you swimming towards me like a knight in shining armour. Although armour wouldn't have been very practical for swimming in. You did come, didn't you or was that a dream?"

"No, it wasn't a dream," said Tim, "you called me Marlin. And talked about Bruce the vegetarian shark."

Tony looked mortified, "I did a children's movie reference?"

"'Fraid so," said Tim, "but your secret's safe with me."

"You still haven't said what you meant by 'sort of' rescuing me," said Tony.

"It was the nutter butter," said Tim.

Tony shook his head and realised that something was more off than he'd realised.

"Victor laced the nutter butters," Gibbs told him.

"That's what stimulated Timothy and sedated you," said Ducky joining in the conversation again as Dr Murray had left to spread the good news of Tony's return to the land of the living.

"That b … b … b …," spluttered Tony.

"Biochemist?" offered Tim.

"Not the word I was going for," admitted Tony, "but we'll settle for that if you want. But I still don't understand. Nutter butters did for us both. How did they save me?"

Tim flushed. "I knew I wouldn't be able to save you on my own. I wasn't going to be fast enough or strong enough to get to you in time. And then I remembered that when I was 'under the influence' …"

"When you were nuttered … or is it buttered?" broke in Tony.

"When I'd eaten a nutter butter before I was better at doing things," said Tim, "so I decided to eat another one."

"My word, Timothy," said Ducky, "I don't know whether that was brave or foolhardy. You heard me say how unpredictable the chemical was and yet you still ate it."

"Had to risk it, Ducky," said Tim, "it was the only way I could get to Tony in time."

"Wow, thanks McHero," said Tony, "wow!"

"Good job, Tim," praised Gibbs.

Tim shrugged modestly.

"Good job," continued Gibbs, "but Victor only had enough stuff to lace two nutter butters. The one you ate last night and the one you gave Tony today."

"But … but …" stuttered Tim, "I felt great after I ate it."

"Mind over matter, my dear Timothy," said Ducky, "your mind thought you would develop enhanced abilities as a result of consuming the cookie and your body responded accordingly. It is really remarkable. If Victor was not facing a prison sentence it is something he could profitably do research into. Ah well."

Tim continued to look stunned as he tried to come to terms with what he had done in an undrugged state.

"Hey," said Tony suddenly, "I've just realised that you poisoned me, McGremlin. You really wanted to ruin my weekend, didn't you? Woke me up at the crack of dawn, turned my kitchen upside down, poisoned me and stole my bacon and eggs. Way to go, McGee, way to go!"

"Well, if you had the reactions of a normal person," retaliated Tim, "you wouldn't have decided to do a Fred Astaire and swan dive off the pier. At least when I was drugged I did things better than normal!"

Ducky and Gibbs nodded at each other knowingly and returned to the kitchen table so that they didn't see Tim and Tony briefly shake hands in acknowledgement of what they had really done for one another.

"You see, Jethro," said Ducky, "I think it was Victor's use of hallucinogenic isotopes which was the most radical element of his enterprise."

Tony caught the words as he had when he had first heard Tim's ramblings at the crack of dawn.

"Where did those halogen ice cubes fit in?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" asked McGee.

"What Ducky was just saying," said Tony defensively, "he said Victor used halogen ice cubes."

"Hallucinogenic isotopes, Anthony," corrected Ducky, "halogen ice cubes would be something else entirely."

"And would probably have been poisonous," said Tim, "well, poisonous in a different way to what his stuff was."

"Oh," said Tony sadly.

"Why did you want halogen ice cubes, Tony?" asked Gibbs gently, having not really understood Ducky's explanations.

"I thought. Well, I thought, that light up ice cubes in a martini might be quite cool," said Tony, "you know, create a certain romantic ambience. Women go for that sort of thing."

NCISNCIS

On their first day back at work, Tim got to the office early but found Tony had got there first. On his desk was the biggest pack of nutter butters he had ever seen. There was an envelope attached: Tim opened it and found it contained a note and a key,

"McNoisy, here's a key to the cabin. Save you banging on the door and waking me up at the crack of dawn next time. Thanks. Tony."

Tim smiled. He appreciated the key to the cabin but thought he might have gone off nutter butters. He walked over to Tony's desk and handed Tony a package,

"Here, Tony, some of those hallucinogenic isotopes you wanted."

Tony looked alarmed and Tim took pity on him, "Halogen ice cubes, Tony, well sort of. They light up well".

"Thanks, McGee," said Tony.

"Thank you, Tony," said Tim, hoping that Tony realised he was saying thank you for more than the nutter butters and the cabin key. Tim had been puzzled that his supercharged, superefficient and hyperaware brain had sent him all the way to North Carolina to find Tony on the night of Victor's revenge but he was beginning to think it had known exactly what it was doing.

Tony gave Tim a disconcertingly penetrating stare and then nodded,

"So," he said, "how do these things work, McEinstein. I've got a hot date tonight and these are going to set my place off perfectly."

AN: thank you to everyone who has been reading the latest expedition to Milsom Bay. Once again, the characters are being returned to their owners' box just a little the worse for wear.