Authors Note: It's been such a long time since I've updated any of my stories that I thought that I'd give you all a treat and update three of them in the space of a few hours. I've had all three chapters mostly finished for a while and somehow found the energy tonight to finish them all. This story has probably only one chapter left, maybe two, before it's all wrapped up. I kind of want to continue this story forever, since I love the characters in it so much, but we'll see how we go.

A Different Life, A Different World

You go home the next day.

Not to your loft in the heart of New York, or to your villa in Greece or your new beach house in Cambodia, but home. You unlock the door to your old place, the one bedroom apartment that you grew up in which will be no longer inhabited by the end of the month. There are boxes all over the floor, half packed, and all the pictures of you on the mantle are missing, but the old couch that was given to your mom by a friend more than twenty years ago is still there, and all your postcards are still stuck up on the fridge and it's still home. There's music playing on the new sound system that you brought your mom a few months ago and you can hear her moving around in the bedroom, probably packing since you know that she doesn't have work today.

She comes out when you close the front door behind you and her immediate smile upon seeing you makes you feel better, even if only a little bit. But your mom is perceptive, even more so than you, and it only takes a moment before her smile falters and she's studying you with a slight frown.

"Al?" She asks, her voice husky from more than half a lifetime of smoking. "Baby, what's wrong?"

And then suddenly, so suddenly, you're crying and you can't seem to stop.

Your mom takes your hands and pulls you over to the beat up couch, sitting you down on the comfortable worn cushions and pulling you into her arms. You are almost thirty years old and yet the feeling of your mom holding you still manages to make you feel better, though you don't think anything could help fix the ache in your chest. You try to tell her that you're fine, that everything is okay, but you can't manage to get the words out past your sobs as your mother combs her fingers through your dark hair, humming soothingly into your ear.

"Alex, baby, what happened?" She finally asks again when you manage to quiet your sobbing, though the tears are still running freely down your pale cheeks. "Did something happen with you and your girl?"

The unexpected question is enough for you to pause, so surprised since you had never told your mom anything about Piper. "What?"

"Oh, don't play stupid with me, kid," your mom pulls back and gives you a look, eyebrow raised and lips pulled up in a smirk, one that you have perfected over the years. "I know the signs. You've been so happy for the last couple of months, all fuckin' lovesick smiles, so I figured you finally found yourself a girl."

You don't know what to say, stumbling over your words. "It's… it's complicated, mom."

"Isn't it always with you?" She snorts before sighing softly. "What happened? Did you two break up?"

"Something like that," you manage to say, grimacing as you wipe your nose. "Like I said, it's complicated."

You feel more than a bit embarrassed at the situation you got yourself into, but you tell your mom the story anyway, leaving nothing out. You know that your mom would never judge you, even over something like this, and you love her a bit more when she sits there patiently, just listening as she gently rubs your back when you begin to cry as you tell her about what happened last night. She makes a sympathetic noise when you finally finish, pulling you into her side.

"Well, that's some shit, babe," she murmurs, sadly. "What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know," you say, rubbing at your red rimmed eyes behind your glasses. "I mean, what can I do? It's not as if we were dating. I can't just call her and tell her that I'm sorry and I want her back, you know?"

"Yeah, but there's gotta be something that you can do," your mom responds, running her fingers through her messy auburn hair. "I mean, you were only trying to help by offering her a stable job, not that it is a conventional one, or even a good one." Your mom cuts her eyes at you here and you look away. "But it's gotta be better than what she's doing. I mean, I can't say that I don't understand, 'cause I know what it's like to be in her position, but I was lucky. My friend got me that job waitressing and I at least had some connections, but the poor girl, her parents probably disowned her when she had the kid and her asshole friends probably ditched her too."

There's a look in your mom's eye when she says this and the whole situation hits you that much harder, because Piper is so much like your mother. You haven't been able to stop thinking about that fact since your fight last night, since those words slipped out of Piper's mouth by accident.

"I have a son to provide for."

Except your mom had a lot of friends in her younger years, good friends that hung around when she had you and who helped her find jobs and cheap apartments. You know that Piper went to Smith, know that she was brought up in a rich family just from the way she is, little mannerisms that the blonde probably doesn't even know she has, but things you know to look for when searching for potential mules. She probably came from a conventional family, who expect you to get married to a rich man and then have children; not have a kid when you're barely out of college, with no father around. They probably did disown her, you think quietly to yourself, feeling a whole new sadness for Piper.

You didn't think that you could possibly feel worse, but you do. You feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

"You gotta talk to her." Your mom's voice pulls you from your own thoughts, her tone laced with determination and a bit of sadness. "You have to talk to her and make her understand and you have to try to help her, Al. No one should have to live the life that she's living and you could be the one to change that for her."

"What am I meant to do, mom?" You ask tiredly, running your fingers through your dark hair. "She wouldn't take my help when I offered it."

"No, she wouldn't take your job," Diane replied. "But you know people, Al. You could find her a new job, you got connections."

Well, that was true, you had to admit that you did know all kinds of people, some who would be interested in someone as intelligent as Piper. The girl had gone to college after all, and while an English Lit degree didn't offer too much, you knew that there had to be something that you could find for her.

"I'll see what I can do," you finally say, nodding your head with a new feeling of hope blooming in your chest. You had to admit that your chances were slim that Piper would ever speak to you again, let alone take a job that you offered her, but it was the best chance that you had. It didn't necessarily mean that the blonde would forgive you, or even be your friend, but maybe she wouldn't be so angry at you anymore and you think that you could live with that. Even though it would still hurt like hell not to be with her, to not have your love returned like you wanted, you think it would be enough to just have her in your life in any small way that you could.

"Good girl," your mom grinned at you, gently rubbing your back. "And you make sure you bring her around when you finally get her back. I want to meet this girl that has finally tamed my daughter."

/

You end up throwing yourself into work for the next few months, because Fahri has found new clients, rich and totally addicted ones, and they want their drugs in bulk. Kubra has increased your output and you've got new mules to work with and you barely have any time for yourself. The business is flourishing and you are earning more money than you know what to do with, but somehow, somehow you still can't manage to get Piper off your mind. You never try to actively think of the blonde, because you're so busy and you don't have time for it, (and because it hurts so goddamn much) but she's still always there, in the back of your mind. So, anytime you have a spare moment, you make calls to old contacts, ones who aren't in your line of work, and you start looking around for jobs.

You start looking for anything that the blonde could be interested in, just so that you have an excuse to talk to her the next time that you see her, because you're honestly just sick of all of this. You're sicking of hurting and you're sick of the guilt and the anger and god, you really just want to see her. It's been more than three months since your fight and the blonde hasn't been to Litchfield ever since and you know it's because she's avoiding you, and that makes it hurt even more.

And then when you're at Litchfield one night, just having a few drinks with some clients, she's suddenly just there.

You're standing at the bar, getting another scotch when suddenly, her name is screamed right in your ear by the woman over the counter. You watch as the bartender actually leaps over the bar, rushing across the room towards the woman who has just reached the top of the staircase and you feel your heart jump into your throat. After all these weeks, you're finally seeing a ghost, the one who drifted into your life before disappearing without a trace.

You take a few steps towards her before you even realize what you're doing, so ready to talk to her, to confront her, after she left you the way she did. But you're stopped in your tracks when her blue eyes meet yours from over the bartender's back and even though it only lasts a few seconds, it feels like a lifetime. And Piper's eyes, those beautiful ocean blue eyes, they speak to you.

Please don't, they say. Please, stay away. Can't you see that I'm falling apart?

And so you sit back at the bar, order another drink and watch her. You watch as she talks briefly to her friend and you watch as she approached by a man, who seems to know her, though you doubt he knows Piper any better than you do and you don't know her at all. You watch as Piper leaves with him, without even offering you the curtesy of a glance and you order another drink.

Barely fifteen minutes later, you're approached by a young woman; brown hair, brown eyes, tall and curvy, the complete opposite of Piper and you think, why the fuck not?

But it's a mistake, taking the girl back to your apartment and fucking her, because it only reaffirms what you already know; that you love Piper and it's slowly but surely killing you.

/

It's a few weeks later and you're sitting at home, taking a final look at your spreadsheets when there's a knock on the door. You save the file and pick up your scotch before walking to the front door, wondering who the hell could be calling in at a late hour like this. You're more than a bit surprised when you open the front door and find Nicky Nichols standing outside, holding a brown paper bag in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other.

"Hey," she grins at you, raising the hand with a cigarette and giving you a small wave. "Is this a bad time?"

"Hey, uh, no," you murmur with a frown, moving aside to let your old friend wander into your apartment. "What are you doing here? I thought that you were clean."

"So quick to jump to conclusions, Vause," Nicky chuckled from your kitchen, where she was pouring a drink from the bottle of scotch she'd taken from her paper bag. "I'm not here for a hit; Red would fucking kill me."

You're confused, since while you and Nicky have been friends for years, she had never come around to your apartment before, at least not for anything other than drugs. "If you're not here for that, then why are you here?"

"Can't two old friends hang out?" Nicky asked, taking a sip of her drink and meeting your eyes over the rim of her glass. She chuckled at the expression on your face before resting her glass on the counter. "Okay, you caught me. I figured that I'd come over here and see how you were doing, after the whole Chapman thing."

You felt a sharp stab in your chest at the mention of Piper and it must show on your face, because Nicky makes a sympathetic expression and holds a hand out for your glass.

"Ah, shit, man," Nicky muttered as she took your glass and filled it with scotch. "I know that fucking look."

"What look?" You feign indifference as you take back your glass, shrugging your broad shoulders. "There's no look, Nicky."

"Don't start lying to me now, Vause," Nicky chuckled, her brown eyes sparkling. "I've been where you've been, y'know? I know that fucking look, I've seen it in the goddamn mirror. Piper… Piper is fucking great, you know? But she's unattainable, Vause; it's best if you just let her go."

You sigh as you take a seat on the arm of your couch, swirling the contents of your glass. You take a sip, savouring the flavour before looking back at your friend. "I really fucked this up, didn't I? I never thought…"

"You never thought that you'd fall in love with a sex worker?" Nicky asked, her eyes knowing and her expression empathetic. "Trust me, man, neither did I, but shit happens."

"I really thought that she cared about me." You murmur, mostly to yourself.

"She probably did," Nicky said, resting her elbows on your kitchen counter. "She seemed to care about you a whole fucking lot, actually, but the kid's got walls, Vause, giant, one hundred foot steel walls around that heart of hers."

"She's got walls," you agree with a sigh. "She's got walls and a fucking kid."

"Ah, so she told you about that, did she?" Nicky asked with surprise, her eyebrows raised into her hairline. "Yeah, she keeps James and Lucy pretty hush hush, since it's not exactly smart to be telling people that you're planning to have sex with that you've got kids waiting for you at home. Kind of off putting, you know? Plus, it keeps them safe from the crazy ones."

"Wait," you said, holding up your hand as your brow furrowed in confusion. "James and Lucy? I thought that she just has a son?"

"Well, biologically, yeah, she only has a son," Nicky corrects herself with a shrug. "But she's got Lucy around all the time. She pretty much took the kid in after she found out that her fucktard father was abusing her and so now Lucy hangs around and looks after James when Chapman has to work. She's a good kid, they both are."

"Jesus fuck," you whispered, dropping your head into your hands at this new information. "She's like a fucking superhero."

"Yeah," Nicky laughed in agreement, raising her glass in toast. "And thank God for all those special powers he gave her in the bedroom, if you know what I mean."

/

You're back at Litchfield and it's your first meeting with your new Russians partners since you finalized your deal, more than two months ago. It's a celebration of sorts, since the partnership has been substantially valuable to both parties and even Kubra showed up, hidden carefully in a dark corner of the club with the head of the Russian mafia at his side. The business is flourishing and the money is piling up and your friends and business partners have no problem with spreading that money around, keeping Litchfield's staff happy and even pulling a smile from Red, who is flitting around the edges of the large gathering.

Fahri suddenly appears at your side somewhere between your sixth and seventh drink of the night and for once, his smile seems completely genuine as he raises his glass in toast.

"To a new and prospering relationship," he says with a smirk and you raise your beer bottle in agreement.

"Cheers." You said as you both take a drink, watching the festivities with a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you were a big part in pulling this together.

"You did very well, Alex," Fahri murmured, giving a nod of acknowledgement to a shady looking man that walked past. "Kubra is very, very pleased with you. He spoke with me recently about giving you that holiday you've been asking for."

"Really?" You asked, surprised at this new revelation. "I thought he'd never give in."

Fahri nodded his head with a smile. "Since we have the Russians carrying our product through the borders now, there's less need for mules, so we can afford to give you some time off. He's giving you three months, starting tomorrow, with a nice bonus to see you through. Jack can handle the mules for now."

You feel a small amount of nerves roll in your belly at this and Fahri somehow manages to see through your mask and gives you a small pat on the back.

"Don't worry so much, kid, Kubra is thrilled with what you've accomplished. We aren't getting rid of you, but just know that Kubra and I are behind you and one day, there will be a nice little retirement package waiting for you. But not anytime soon, okay?"

"Good to know," you replied, feeling the weight lift from your chest as you breathe out a sigh of relief.

He gives you one last small smile before slipping past you, moving to stand behind Kubra's chair and you decide that maybe it's time to call it a night. You're exhausted after working so hard for the past couple of months, emotionally and physically, and you've had more than enough of the company of your partners in crime over the past few weeks. You drop your empty glass down on the table and give Kubra a small wave, which he returns, before turning to leave.

And that's when you see her, sitting alone at the bar, nursing an empty glass.

For a moment, you honestly consider just walking away, since Piper has made it clear that she doesn't want to see you anymore. You're tired and you're still very much hurting after your last meeting with the blonde and you don't want to ruin the high you've been riding all night.

But the decision was already made for you, the moment you saw her, and you're just prolonging the inevitable, so you walk slowly to the bar and order a margarita, which is served to you by Piper's friend, who gives you a quietly knowing look before she moves away to serve another customer. You smile slightly to yourself before walking down the bar and placing the cold glass in front of the blonde, who pauses in reaching for jacket to stare at the drink.

"Alex," she says your name softly, so softly that you barely hear it over the noise in the club and it makes your heart ache. You can see the slump of her shoulders and the tensing of her forehead as she stares at the glass and it makes a lump rise in your throat.

"Piper," you whisper, forcing the name past the lump in your throat and wincing at the ragged quality of your voice. You sound pathetic and weak and it's enough to finally cause Piper to look up at you with those blue, blue eyes that stole your heart almost a year ago. Her expression is one of exhaustion and uncharacteristic anxiety, but there's also a quiet longing there that causes the next words to slip from your mouth without any thought behind them. "Come home with me."

You don't expect it and neither does Piper, if the shocked look on her face is anything to go by. She starts shaking her head after a moment and you feel deep disappointment swoop in your stomach. "Al- Alex, I told you-"

"I know what you told me." You cut her off, sharper than you had intended, but the hurt is still there, so painful in your chest and you don't want to show it but you can hear it in your own words. It's so, so pathetic, but you continue anyway. "I know, but just- fuck, Piper- please."

"Alex," she whispers in response, sounding just as broken as you. "We- we shouldn't. I can't."

Despite her protests, you begin to feel more determined. "I can pay," you offer her, almost growling when she continues to shake her head. "I'll pay you double. Triple. Piper, come on."

The blonde hesitates at your offer and you know immediately that she needs this, though probably not for the same reasons that you do. You figure if she's desperate enough to return to Litchfield, she probably needs the money that you're offering and it lights a spark of hope in your chest. You feel your entire body relax as you watch Piper finish her drink before grabbing her jacket and sliding past you. You follow her through the club and down the stairs, all the way into the cold night air, where you quickly open the door to one of the taxi's outside and slide in behind the blonde. You rattle off the address to your place without thinking, though a part of you knows that this meeting between the two of you isn't like any of the others, so you decide that your apartment will suit the occasion. The trip is quiet and awkward and you're only too happy to pay the driver when he pulls to a stop outside your building, climbing out and closing the door behind Piper before you enter the building.

You can't help but glance behind you every few moments to make sure that the blonde is still there, since the nervous expression on her face makes you feel as if she will bolt at any moment.

The elevator ride is just as horrible, with Piper refusing to meet your eye and suddenly, this all begins to feel so wrong. Your hands are shaking when you finally exit the elevator, fumbling with your keys as Piper follows you to your front door and you're regretting your decision to bring her home with you.

You're regretting your decision to approach her at the bar, because it's so obvious that Piper doesn't want to be here and now you just feel like another one of her clients. You feel like just another one of those people that have used this woman's body, with her consent but without her want and it makes you feel sick. You're considering calling off the whole thing when you finally manage to open the door to your apartment, heading straight for the alcohol, since you're not sure that you can ask Piper to leave when you're still sober.

You make it to the kitchen and pour yourself a drink, watching as your guest wanders around your apartment. You're about to tell her to go home when the blonde begins untying the belt for her jacket, letting the fabric slip from her shoulders and onto the floor. You feel the lump reform in your throat at the sight, stalling your request for Piper to leave as you are rooted to the spot, watching her.

She isn't looking at you, instead choosing to look at the floor, which is such an uncharacteristic move for the normally confident, seductive woman. It only takes you a second to realise that she doesn't want to look at you, for reasons unknown, and that knowledge feels like a punch in the chest. It's enough to snap you out of your stillness and you're once again about to ask Piper to leave, because this just isn't right at all, when her hands reach up to unzip her dress.

And you realise that you need this. You need this, you need Piper, if only for a night, if only for some kind of closure because it has been much too long since you've felt her body beneath your hands. You've watched people go through withdrawals from heroin and you're sure that this feels the same, the same as a junkie with the needle so close to their fingertips, wanting and needing that fix, to you with Piper's addictive skin so close, your palms begin to itch with the want to touch.

You're moving across the room before Piper's shaking fingers even begin to pull down the zipper, gently removing her hands to replace them with your own. Your mouth goes dry as her soft skin is revealed, as you push the straps down her shoulders until the soft material falls in a heap around her feet, leaving the blonde in only her underwear. You have to take a moment to remember to breathe, have to force yourself to step away, lest you take her right where she stands, because she is even more fucking beautiful than you remembered, somehow.

You take her hand and lead her slowly towards your bedroom, leaving her just inside the doorway as you pull out your wallet from your back pocket. Your heart is beating hard in your chest as you pull of a thick stack of notes, your mind screaming that this is wrong, wrong, wrong, as you place the money on the bed side table.

And then you begin to undress.

You can feel Piper's eyes burning into you as you pull your shirt over your head, and you've barely managed to unbutton your jeans before her hands are on you and it feels heavenly. You manage to kick off your jeans as she runs her hands up your back, unhooking your bra deftly before pressing her chest flush against your own. Her lips are hot and wet against your neck and you can't help the moan that escapes your lips as she pulls down your underwear, leaving you naked and aching for her touch. You just want more and more and more.

You need to touch her and you do, rougher than you mean to as you run your hands down her back, gripping her ass and pulling her tight against your body, but it's not enough. You push her down onto the bed and slide yourself beneath her open thighs, wanting to get closer, wanting to open up your chest and pull her inside. You feel her grip the back of your neck and suddenly your lips are crashing together, and the taste of her makes you whimper so pathetically, you want to cry.

And then you are crying, silently, but you don't stop; just bury your face in the pillow as you run your hands over her body. She's so warm beneath your touch, reacting to your every move like no time has passed as you pull off her underwear and run your fingers through her wet heat. It feels so good that a shudder ripples through your body and the need to be closer to her almost envelopes you. You push inside of her and it's your undoing, as the tears come faster, with her fingers digging into your back as her hips rise to meet your thrusts.

But then Piper is pulling away and you immediately avert your gaze, not wanting to stop, but her voice saying your name, so genuinely concerned, destroys you. "Alex?"

"It's fine, I'm fine, I- fuck," your voice breaks and you feel your face crumble beneath the emotions that finally overwhelm you, causing the words you'd held inside for so long to finally slip out. "Piper. Pipes, I love you. I love you."

You feel Piper's entire body tense and you immediately hold onto her tighter, slipping your fingers from inside of her to wrap your arm around her waist and pull her close. It feels as if your entire world hangs in the balance, as Piper's body refuses to relax and you practically feel the panic seeping from her skin.

But then Piper smiles, a sad smile, wiping at the tears that continue to cascade down your cheeks, and it gives you the courage to beg her. "Please, don't go. Please. Please, stay."

You can see the emotions in her eyes, know her decision before her body finally relaxes into the mattress and it's enough. You feel your entire body collapse on top of her as she runs her fingers through your hair, overwhelmed with relief as her voice whispers in your ear.

"I'm here. I'm here."