Side Effects of Superstrength (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: So you know how, canonically, Alfred can drag around cars and swing bison like it's nothing? Yeah, the other Nations do too.

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: Hilarity and chaos involving Alfred

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

"Are you sure this is gonna work?"

Alfred perked up, turning his head just enough from his lunch to see Gilbert, Antonio and Francis leaning close together, grinning widely at some inside joke.

"Of course it is," Gilbert whispered, hitting a fist to his chest. "I came up with it after all!"

"Last time, you nearly got killed again when Erzsebet ran you through as payback."

"Pheh, it was only a flesh wound, nothing serious." The ex-Nation waved it off. "Besides, everyone's gonna be laughing their asses off at this, I guarantee it."

The American hummed thoughtfully, looking deliberately back to his food so they didn't see him paying attention. Apparently they had some sort of prank planned for the afternoon meeting, which was perfectly fine with him if it meant a good laugh. He considered offering to help, but figured they didn't want too many complications to their plan.

Eager anticipation it was, then. Now to put on his best innocent face so no one got tipped off…

A few minutes later he trailed back into the meeting room with the others, noticing Gilbert was the only one missing by the time everyone else was settled into place for another four hours of discussions. Not that he was supposed to be there, seeing as he wasn't a full Nation anymore, but he still crashed in enough that people were used to seeing him chilling with his buddies.

Alfred tapped his foot, pencil twirling in his fingers while he avoided looking towards the door, focusing instead on Anri's speech on her latest ecological diversity findings. Not that it wasn't totally interesting! (cough), but it was hard waiting for something to happen when you were hoping for it-

Gilbert and Francis' birds flew through the open window, carrying giant packages of glitter that exploded just as they reached the middle of the room, instantaneously turning the entire room into a German Sparkle Party. Everyone started yelling at once, Ludwig's voice towering over them all as he demanded Gilbert get inside immediately to clean up the mess he'd made.

Through all this the America cackled, carefully keeping his shirt over his mouth to avoid choking on the glitter accidentally. Seeing everyone covered in sparkles was definitely a mood lifter by any means, and certainly worth the wait.

Even after everyone was directed out to another meeting hall so the first one could be cleaned, stray glitter still abounded in hair, clothes, and papers alike. Antonio and Francis were even gracious enough to brush everyone's suits off as they left the room, Alfred laughing at the ruffling of his hair before he was allowed out.

Mood as perked as it was, he didn't even hear the quiet whisper behind his ear until it repeated itself. "Amerika…"

Alfred startled, looking all around and behind him but seeing no one - Ivan and his siblings were on the far side of the room, and neither of the Nations he was next to had any sort of Russian accent. Frowning, he turned back to the meeting, only to jump again when the voice returned.

"Your time has come, Amerika…"

He wiped at his ears for some sort of hidden mic, only to find nothing. He took a breath, telling himself it was just a stupid joke by someone and that Ivan had totally just been messing with him a few years back-

"Your country will fall, and we will rise again…"

'There are no commie ghosts, there are no commie ghosts,' Alfred told himself firmly, twisting around just to make sure there were no hidden mics on the back of his chair.

"Alfred, what are you doing?" Arthur asked from a few seats over, drawing a few Nations' attention.

"Nothing, nothing," He denied instantly, sinking into his seat with a sheepish grin while his fingers twitched, waiting for the others to turn away before he let out a sigh of relief.

"Say goodbye to your foolish ways once and for all!"

"Commie ghosts!" He shrieked, not even thinking before grabbing the heaviest thing he could find - in this case, the new meeting table - and flinging it around to smash into the wall behind him in order to ward off the ghosts.

There was a long moment of stunned silence as he breathed heavily, everyone looking from the table now embedded in the wall (several Nations had had to duck in order to avoid being smacked in the head) to Alfred, and from him to the surprised Gilbert who had been hiding under the table, mike in hand.

Matthew, one of the first to piece things together, walked over to his brother and patted the back of his jacket for a minute, pulling out the receiving mike that'd been stuck down it. Alfred, quickly realizing what that meant, turned on Gilbert with a dark expression, the Germanic chuckling nervously as he backed towards the far end of the room.

(On the upside, Ludwig didn't even need to punish the trio this time.)

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

AN: So here's this new series I've been planning for... wow, over a year now, I think? Something like that, anyways. Feel free to send in requests of hilarious and terrifying moments for Alfred's strength to come into play in, especially if it ends up making situations worse (or more hilarious).

I really need to stop making new collections and shit. I'm up to, what, thirteen active collections and stories? I am a madwoman, seriously now.