This is NOT my story. I have reposted it from forums spacebattles com. Original author is Fission Battery. I have permission to post this story here.

Chapter 1 - One Misstep

How would you expect a grand adventure to start? With a flair for the dramatic? No, no too obvious. Maybe then it could work that way. Everyone expects it to happen, so they think it won't happen, but it does! Subvert it then? How would you manage that? Have an ordinary day gone wrong?

Or right depending on how much of a masochist you are.

Here's a hint, I'm not one.

So when one simple day of the week decided to screw me over I would have never expected that. Which is why I should have, more ironic that way. I never saw it coming after all!

It started as any other, went to bed sometime after one in the morning, slept right through till twelve thirty, and actually got up just before one. Big accomplishment for me. I set my alarm to go off at ten, but I kept slamming the snooze button for hours on end. Yes I have horrible sleeping habits, but it's Christmas break and I do what I want!

Dragging my body out of bed, I fumbled for my glasses, threw on a shirt and a pair of socks. Leaving my room I was greeted by my fat ass cat. I gave him a friendly scratch under the chin. He deserved, the fat bastard was waiting there right outside my door. How cute of him.

"Hey there kitty. Who's a pretty kitty? You are. Yes you are. Yes you are." I said in that cutesy voice everyone makes, but is too embarrassed to admit it. You know the one.

Following that I found my way to the kitchen, and made myself a bowl of cereal. Almost out of milk, gotta ask mom to pick up more today. Ate while browsing the internet on my dad's IPad. I checked out Spacebattles, no new alerts there. Hmm seemed like my parents were already at work, and my brother had left for his friend's house. Home alone for the short time that it mattered.

I finished up with breakfast and went to take a shower, wasted twenty minutes in there enjoying the hot water. I was deliberately trying to fog up the bathroom mirrors. Usually I never do that, causes mold after all, but what the hell? Who's here to stop me? Nobody! That's who!

I dried off and quickly got dressed. Ah, the old tried and true jeans and a t-shirt look. The shirt was one of my thicker ones with a chest pocket. I may not use that pocket, but it's there! Just in case! I think that particular shirt was green, of course over the next fews months of hell that became my life it didn't stay that colour. My only pair of socks don't last too long either, nor did my underwear. My jeans though, they, were good to me.

What had forced me to give a damn about today? Very good question! Does looking into a picture of the sun hurt my eyes? Who asked that?! Was it you?! *Blam!* That's a very stupid question! This is the intro part, so don't count on the fourth wall protecting you yet! I can still get you! So see what happens if you try that again!

… Anyways, I was going out to a friend's house that afternoon with the guys. He was hosting a movie night then later we'd try to go out to a pub for some drinks. Never got to do that, everyone's too busy with school or work to get together. But if there wasn't the promise of cheap junk food or pizza I wouldn't have gotten up that morning, afternoon technically. Okay that and they're my friends.

As any sensible man would, I threw on my hoodie and leather jacket, gotta layer up on that clothing. It might not have been snowing, but damn was it cold. I should have even put on gloves or a hat, but that's just too sensible. And the hat would mess up my hair… yes, I'm petty.

I checked all my pockets to ensure I had everything I would need for the day. A part of the plan at my friends house was us staying over for the night and making it a sleepover, sort of thing. It would have been smart to pack a bag of spare clothing, toiletries like my toothbrush and toothpaste, a spare package of my medication, pajamas. You know the standard stuff. Really wished I had, but at the time I wasn't planning on staying overnight.

Seriously if I had packed that bag, so many of my problems that are yet to come, would've been much more tolerable if I had my pajamas. They were so comfy.

Before I left I gave my cat a small snack to placate him. If I hadn't he would've torn up the house. I walked for about five minutes before turning onto the main road. This put me in a pretty good mood.

You want to know why? Course you do, you're reading this. What?!You don't?! How dare you! *Blam!* I told you the fourth wall is weakest at the introduction! I haven't been caged by the narrative proper yet!

Now to reach my friend's house I simply could have walked there. But I'm too lazy to do that, so it was the bus for me. Thankfully there was a bus stop at the end of a nearby street. There was something I loved about this street. That was it was flat and long so I could sing and walk without feeling out of breath. Have you ever tried to climb a really steep hill and sing at the same time? Not fun.

Let's see, what to sing? What to sing? Ah! I've got it! Remembering the lyrics…. alright got that!

I began to snaps my fingers and hum to build up the right rhythm. There was nobody else on the street, so I could sing as loud as I wanted.

"Times, have changed.
And we've often rewound the clock,
Since the puritans got the shock,
When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
If today,
Any shock they should try to stand,
'Stead of landing on Plymouth rock. Plymouth Rock would land on them!
In olden days, a glimpse of stocking,
Was looked on as something shocking.
But now, God know!
Anything goes!
Good authors too who once knew better words,
Now only use four-letter words,
Writing prose.
Anything goes!"

It was a wonderful day, not a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining bright. It was the type of day were the only indications that it was winter was the freezing temperature and I could see my own breath.

"If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like,
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will o-ppose~.
When ev'ry night the set that's smart,
Is intruding nudist parties in studios.
Anything goes!"

What's the next verse? Something, something, Mcclane? Russian Reds?

"When Missus Ned McLean, God bless her,
Can get Russian reds to "yes" her,
Then I suppose
Anything goes!
When Rockefeller still can hoard enough money to let Max Gordon
Produce his shows,
Anything goes!
The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today,
And black's white today,
And day's night today,
And that gent today
You gave a cent today
Once had several chateaux.
When folks who still can ride in jitneys
Find out that the Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Lack baby clothes,
Anything goes!"

I was nearing the end of the song. Don't screw it up! It had taken weeks to remember the lyrics to this song, even then I'm still second guessing which verse is which. Eh, who cares. Just me here. It's funny though, I guess that meme holds true, play Fallout, become musically cultured.

"When Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
Instruct Anna Sten in diction,
Then Anna shows
Anything goes.
When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
Now turns a handspring landing up-
On her toes!
Anything goes!
Just think of those shocks you've got
And those knocks you've got
And those blues you've got
From that news you've got
And those pains you've got,
If any brains you've got,
From those little radios~.
So Missus R., with all her trimmings,
Can broadcast a bed from Simmons
'Cause Franklin knows
Anything goes!"

I finished the song as my bus just passed me by… Fuck! How did I miss that?! I turned my head to follow the bus and whelp. He just kept going, driving down the road. How the hell did he miss me?

Well… nothing I can do now. I walked up to the bus stop's signpost and stood there. I've got thirty minutes to burn now. Great.

As a car speeds by me, I instinctively step back a few feet. It felt a little too close for comfort. I heard some honking and turned to look down the street. Approaching me was a massive semi-trailer so I again step back a few feet away from the curb.

As I did I saw something at the edge of my vision. It was a blurry purple… tear?

And now everything around me is green!

Where's the street lights?! Where's that signpost?! The concrete?!

As I was suppressing the urge to freak out I didn't notice the truck I thought to avoid continue driving by the curb with plenty of room to spare. No, what caught my eye was that the purple tear in reality suddenly closed with a pop sound.

Leaving me standing on a dirt path in the middle of a forest.

..

..

..

..

..

"Did I, did I…. just do that? Was that a portal? Did I just walk through a portal!? On accident!?"

It was going to be one of those days.

I had been walking through this forest for the better part of three hours. I know that because I constantly checked my cell phone to keep track of the time, and in the dim hope of getting a signal. But let's be honest here… I'm fucked.

The forest around is pretty generic. I mean it's a forest. What do you expect. It's got trees, and grass, and leaves, and bushes, and shrubs, and dirt, plenty of dirt. In fact I'm on a dirt path right now!

I think this path may be well traveled. There's plenty of faded foot and hoof prints in the dirt, so people on horses come through here. The trees aren't packed close together like they would be if this was… more natural? Untouched by man? Fuck! You know what I mean. No people around equals shoulder to shoulder trees. Least that's what I've read.

Really this place wouldn't look out of place as a city park. Save for the lack of cigerette buds on the ground or car noises in the distance or gum staining the ground. So either that means this place has a really great maintenance staff or more likely I wasn't in a civilized area. No, better term would be industrial, saying it's not civilized feels rude…. even though I'm not talking to anyone.

Great thought policing there citizen.

There's clouds in the sky, not that noteworthy except there wasn't any before. Sun was warmer as well, so I had to unzip my hoodie and I tied my jacket around my waist. There was a nice, gentle breeze, so I wasn't overheating. I think I'm taking this rather well, backed into a portal, got dumped into a forest and I haven't freaked out! Yet.

My feet were killing me, I was just walking for three hours straight. No breaks. I mean, what would I do? Sit on the grass and think stuff over? Hah! Nope. If I've already got momentum built up I'm not letting it go to waste, so that means I kept walking.

As a passed a bush I thought I heard a bubbling noise. I smartly kept going past it.

Oh wow, that is getting louder. Better check out what it is.

I looked over my shoulder and saw a puddle of blue slime ooze out from the bushes and onto the path, constantly bubbling and gurgling as it went. Leaving a thin trail of blue slime in its wake.

Well I'm sure that's completely normal… so normal in fact I'm just going to continue walking away from it.

So I guess this means I'm in some sort of fantasy word. Blue slimes are the weakest RGP enemy right? Never mind the fact I have no effective means of actually hurting it if it should catch up to me, but it won't.

I increased my walking speed and continued off down the path.

"Hello~"

Oh thank god! Another person! But why did it come from… behind me…

I looked over my shoulder again and…

"Oh fuck me."

"Okay!"

Flowing towards me at a disconcerting speed was not a regular slime or gelatinous cube or even a woman. No, it was a slime girl… yes that name says it all. It is a slime monster, except that it is in the shape of a young woman…

So monster girls…

I'm doomed.

"Stop running! I just want to love you!"

"How are you keeping up with me?!"

"My lust for you drives me forward! And you're fat!"

"I don't know you!"

"We can get to know each other later… physically!"

"Leave me alone!"

"Never! You're gonna get slimed and love it!"

I collapsed in a heap on the ground, leaning against a tree and panting heavily. My shirt was drenched in sweat, my hair was a matted mess and my glasses were fogging up from my body heat alone. I had lost that crazy slime girl. She was persistent, but… I don't really have anything else to say. She wouldn't fucking quit!

She almost got me a few times, as the slime stains on my jacket and jeans can attest to. I tried wiping it off but it only got stuck to my hand, and then I wiped my hand off on jeans. So everything is a sticky mess.

I also learned I fucking love adrenaline. God that is stuff great! I was running off and on again for over an hour. I wasn't even… tired… well until now.

Now I think… that I'm just going to take a quick nap. My eyes were feeling heavy and I was slowly nodding my head.

Man that took a lot out of me. Am I that out of shape?

The answer was yes.

I blinked a few times. One second it was still daytime, next the sun was setting.

Shit! I should… I should get up and keep walking, go find a nearby town or something.

Begrudgingly I pushed myself up. Blinking the sleep from my eyes I set back down the path, in the hopes of finding civilization soon.