Aaron Hotchner , the unit chief of a FBIs elite group the Behavioral Analysis Unit, was finishing up his paperwork. It was late , and he was very tired. The week had been rough. Long days and even night with no sleep, at all. Coffeine overdose helps of course to stay awake.

Reid, the youngest of his team, had been away for few weeks after Maeve's death, so he had taken part of his paperwork to his own to do- list. Just so he would not have to worry about it when he comes back.

Maeve. The girl Reid was in love with, and it didn't matter that he had never met her.

He will always remember that night when Reid called him, late, and told him to get to the office as quickly as possible. That something bad was going to happen to Maeve. Then Hotch had no idea who that Maeve was, but from his tone, he knew it was something very important.

The tone on his voice was shaky and scared. Terrified actually. and he sounded like he was holding back tears.

And the moment he heard about what was going on, he knew. He knew exactly the pain he was feeling. And the pain was so much more than just pain. It felt like your heart was just ripped off of your chest with bare hands.

He knew exactly what he was going through.

When he lost Haley, he didn't know what to do. He blamed himself badly about what happened to her. He still does, but he is learning to move on. He's dating, for the first time since what happened, with an amazing woman. And he's living with his little son, who means world to him.

Reid's been back for a week, managing okay. Still a little absent and quiet, but it's totally understandable. The team has tried to help him best they could which has cheered him up a little.

Hotch leaned back on his chair closing his eyes for a few seconds. He was so tired, exhausted. It was hard to concentrate any longer. *Few more lines, and then you can go home, and get some sleep.* He though and opened his eyes and sat straight. He picked up his pen and started writing his report.

Few moments later and the report was done. He shut his laptop, shit the casefile and started packing his stuff. He was so tired and headache was awful. He couldn't wait to go home to his seven years old little son, who was probably already asleep.

Already his briefcase on his hand he was walking towards the door when something stopped him. A man with longish grown hair and sad hazel eyes.

" Hey. " Hotch said softly to that man. " Reid, I thought you went home. "

" I'm sorry to bother you this late Hotch. Going home to Jack I assume. Sorry, go. Good night. " Reid said quickly turning around and walking out of his boss' office his brown leather bag on his shoulder.

" Spencer! Wait! What's going on? " He shouted after him now worried. Reid looked worse than he does at the moment. He looked like he hasn't slept for days. And like he had been crying. His eyes were redish.

Reid stopped right outside of his boss' office. But instead of running away he turned around and saw him standing right in front of him. Reid turned his face towards the floor, trying to think what to say.

" Reid? What's wrong? " Hotch asked softly from him. " Spencer, look at me. What's going on? "

He raised his head from the floor and looked at his boss. He looked at his warm and caring brown eyes. And he knew. He knew that he did the right choice by coming to him.

" I kinda hoped we could talk, unless you're in hurry to go ho.. " Reid started but hotch didn't let him finish.

" Come on in. " He said and gave him this little encouraging and sad smile.

Reid came in hesitatingly, and sat on Hotch's dark gray sofa. He was nervous, but he also knew that if someone would understand, it would be Hotch.

Hotch pulled a chair closer the sofa while eyeing the younger one on his couch. It was almost midnight, and the rest of the office had gone home already. He should've been gone too , but the way Reid had come to his door , he knew he had to stay. He wasn't tired anymore. All that tiredness was replaced by concern.

" Okay, so what's going on ,on that tricky head of yours? " He asked softly from him while sitting down to the chair of his.

But he saw how hard it was for him to talk, so he waited. He looked at him. Reid looked so tired and broken at the same time. He looked like he was going through the world war III on his head, trying to figure out what to say.

" Reid? Are you okay? " He was worried about the young agent in front of him.

" How did you do it Hotch? " Reid asked a minute later, still staring the floor and his shoes. His voice was shivering. He ran his fingers through his lightly curly , brown hair then lifting his head meeting his boss' deep brown eyes full of concern.

" How did I do what? "

" I mean how did you got through it? How did you manage after everything that happened with Foyet? "

George Foyet a.k.a. The Reaper. The man who broke into his house one night after one of the worst cases they've had. The man who almost killed him and was threatening his family. Same man who became to an obsession of his. The man who later killed the love of his life and almost his little boy if he hadn't killed Foyet first.

That all happened three years ago, but that name still makes the shivers go down his spine and makes his heart skip a beat.

" Because Aaron. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. I only knew her for like half a year and I never met her properly. I saw her first time 30 minutes before she.. " He stopped. Hotch noticed how a tear drop was floating down his cheeks. " All I'm saying is that you knew Haley for like what? 20? 25 Years? Even when you two got divorced, you still loved her. And when she died, you became so serious, so.. cold. And you came back to work so quickly. " Reid said eyeing his reaction.

Hotch sighed deeply closing his eyes for a few seconds.

" I feel awful and selfish to come here to you and… " Reid said but got cut off by the other one in front of him.

" Hey Reid. Stop that. " Hotch said to him. " Reid. Listen. It's everything but selfish. I can say from an experience that you should talk about this. You really should. Because when you keep it all inside, it comes ten times worse. "

Reid looked at him, how he saw struggling with his own mind. It was weird to see him like this.

" When Haley died, I was lost. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. But I was afraid to break. Because I knew that if I would've broke down, I would've fell hard. And I knew that I was not able to handle what I would've became after the fall. I had to stay strong. For Jack, who needed his father now more than ever. " Hotch said melancholy.

Reid looked at him. The look on Hotch's face made him feel a bit better. He looked so understanding and gentle. He was used to that serious, tough and very driven guy. But the man in front of him wasn't the same guy. He was sweet , golden hearted and understanding man. The man in front of him wasn't his boss SSA Aaron Hotchner. The man in front of him was a good friend of his, not boss.

Hotch has always been good listener which makes it so easy and comfortable to talk to him.

" I know it feels hard, so empty inside. It feels like your heart had been ripped off of your chest. And it feels like it will never be whole again. But Spencer, I promise. It does get better. "

" But when? I can't take this quilt much longer. " Reid said his voice shivering. He felt like breaking down.

" Reid. listen to me. You should not be so hard on yourself. There was nothing you could've done. Believe me , I know. It is the hardest thing to do. I blamed myself so hard about what happened to Haley. Hell, I still do. But I'm learning to forgive myself. I know she has forgiven me already. And I warn you. During that journey from that huge and overwhelming weight of self-loathing, you will break. And you will break hard. "

" Aaron? Is it normal? " Reid let his face drop back towards the floor.

" Is what normal? "

" Being scared of your own mind? "

Hotch let out a little sigh then putting his hand to the younger ones shoulder. " Hey Kiddo. Look at me. Please. " Reid lifted his head again, hesitatingly looking him in his eyes.

" When I got back to work I thought I was ready. But I was everything butt ready. I thought that it will help me to think something else. I didn't want to be at my apartment going this thing on my head over and over again. It was pure torture to me. " It was Hotch's turn to put his head down. " I thought every single thing I could have done differently to have her back here. And every thought made me feel so much worse. I blamed myself so badly about what happened. And I suffered a while about nightmares. They are mostly passed by already. I've seen many kind of nightmares during the years, but they were nothing like these. I woke up middle of the night, gasping for breath, covered in cold sweat. It was awful, and I was too scared to fall asleep again. It was just too terrifying. So, answer to your question. Yes. It is normal on situations like this. I was scared of my own mind, my own imagination. It scared the hell out of me. I'm not just saying this, so you could feel better, I'm saying this to convince you, that you are not only one suffering this kind of things. " Hotch said quietly remembering those worse nightmares he's ever had.

" Seriously? " Reid wasn't sure if he would believe him, but something about the look on his face told him that he wasn't kidding.

" I never told anyone that. Not even Rossi. He knew that I was suffering, but I didn't told him a thing. And it made things only worse. Keeping it all inside. The burden was so bad, and I felt like crushing under it. "

" What are you saying? " Reid asked. Hotch had taken his suits jacket off, and loosened his red tie a bit. He leaned on his elbows on top of his legs.

" Don't do the same mistake as I did. Be wiser than I was. " Hotch said warmly to the young man on his couch. " You don't have to go through this alone. "

" I know. And I would love to share it with you. " Reid said, and Hotch sat straight again, waiting him to talk. " But not now. Not today. You have to go home. You look worse than I do. "

" Reid. " Hotch tried, but he got cut off by him.

" No, Hotch. It's okay. you helped a lot already. Go home, please. " Reid gave him a little smile.

Hotch let out a small sigh. Reid got up, so did Hotch. " Okay. But Reid. If there is anything I can do to help, all you have to do is ask. And my door is always open if you need someone to talk to. "

" I know. Thank you. And I will, I promise. " Reid said and lifted that brown leather bag to his shoulder. " I knew you'd understand. " He said softly to him then hugging him quickly. Having a friend like that was something amazing. Yes, he is his boss, but his whole team is like family to him. And Hotch is definitely part of it.

Hotch had to smile a little and hugged him back. " Anytime. "

" Go home. Go for your son. I see you tomorrow. Good night. "

" Good Night. Try to get some sleep, okay? " Hotch said and Reid nodded lightly before walking out of his office.

Hotch watched him to walk away, before he turned around to get his bag. But then he stopped, and looked at this one photo on his bookshelf. Beautiful young blonde woman smiling under the sun. It has been taken 6 years before Jack was born.

" I miss you Haley. " He whispered looking at it for a few moments.

Reid turned to look at his boss' office once more before leaving the BAU, seeing Hotch smiling a little to this photo he had taken to his hands.

" Jack misses you too. " He said, then putting the photo back to the shelf, right next to the other picture where he and Jack were playing football at the park. He remembers when Dave took that photo few years ago.

He gave a little smile to the picture, then grabbing his back, shutting the lights and walking away.