One of her hands cupped his cheek, and the other was threaded through the hair on the back of his head. His hands sat lightly on her hips, hardly exerting any pressure at all.

Their lips parted with a small sound, but she didn't pull away – instead just hovering there, her nose brushing against his as they breathed the same air.

There was silence for several long moments, then Castle felt Beckett move away slightly, and he opened his eyes. She was looking back at him, from inches away, her hand still resting softly against this cheek. Her other hand fell to his shoulder and lay there, and he could feel the warmth of her skin through his shirt.

He suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, just once, gently, then moved back again. A small grin curled the corners of her mouth, and her eyes sparkled.

He searched her entire face, and found only patience and openness there. He sighed, struggling to find the right words.

"I…" he began, then he shut his eyes for a moment, as a wave of emotion rose up in him.

Are we really, finally…? he wondered, but then he suppressed the rest of the thought from old habit, putting hope aside to simply wait for her to tell him what this meant.

He opened his eyes again, looking at her lips for a long moment before meeting her gaze.

"I want…" he said, and one of her eyebrows twitched upwards just a fraction. Her thumb brushed ever so slowly across his jawline, and he shivered.

"I have to know," he said at last, in a quiet voice, and his tone conveyed everything else. She smiled at him, and there was an edge of regret to it too.

"What this means?" she asked softly, and he nodded. His eyes were a dark blue, earnest and watchful.

Trying not to hope too much, even now, she thought.

She leaned forward again and laid her forehead against his, feeling his pulse thumping below her hand as she continued to stroke her thumb across the stubble on his jaw.

"It means I stopped running, Castle," she said quietly. "I stopped hiding. Stopped pretending you're just my partner and my friend."

More silence, as they both breathed together.

"It means I'm tired," she continued. "Tired of watching you walk into the bullpen every day and trying to hide how happy I am to see you. Tired of getting back to this apartment at night and wishing you were here. Tired of thinking about what it might be like."

She tilted her chin up to brush her lower lip against his, and she heard him inhale sharply. She ran the tip of her tongue across his upper lip now, and he immediately moved forward to capture her lips with his.

She felt his hands tighten around her waist, and she shifted towards him on the couch, moving to sit in his lap, her legs on either side of his. His hands slid up to press against her lower back, keeping her there.

Castle was utterly lost in her.

Her scent surrounded him, and her soft lips moved against his as their tongues danced and slid and caressed. She tasted like white wine, and lemon chicken, and cherries, and just Kate. She was familiar already, and he felt like a man who had been dying of thirst, finally brought to an oasis.

He pulled her closer, feeling her breasts brush against his chest, and both of her hands slid around into his hair now, her fingers weaving through, moving ceaselessly.

Beckett's entire body was alive with sensation. Finally, finally, she was here with him like this. He was so close, closer than ever, but nowhere near close enough. His hands alternately ghosted against her back and then curled tightly against her, keeping her within the circle of his arms. His cologne was in every breath she took, and nothing had ever felt more right – or more like home.

Why did I wait so long for this? she wondered, but the thought drifted away almost immediately.

Then his hands moved from her back, coming around to lightly grip her shoulders. He gently pushed her ever so slightly away from him, just enough that he could see her properly.

A crease appeared on her forehead, and he instinctively reached up to smooth it away with his fingertip.

"What's wrong?" she asked, and he smiled and shook his head.

"Nothing," he replied. "I just… need to look at you."

His eyes were filled with his love for her, and as they roamed over her face and her hair, she felt the weight of his gaze, and what it meant. She felt heat rising in her cheeks, and he chuckled softly.

"Oh now you're shy," he said, and she shrugged.

He looked at her silently for long moments, and she forced herself to simply sit and wait until he was ready to speak. After half a minute or so, he did.

"I've got some questions," he said quietly, and she just nodded. Of course he did. His hands now sat on her hips again, and hers were loosely linked at the back of his neck.

His gaze feel to the section of her chain that he could see within the open collar of her blouse, and for just a moment, a shadow passed over his face, and then was gone.

"Why now, Kate?"

There was no accusation in his voice; just the question. He was looking at her evenly, ready to listen, and she knew that he needed an answer from her. She also knew that he wouldn't accept her answer unless it made sense to him – the question was too important.

He'd rather back away and wait, than take a chance if he thinks I'm not ready for this.

She took a breath, and considered her answer carefully. Why now, indeed?

Because it was just… time.

"I just… I saw you at the board, in the bullpen," she replied, and his brow wrinkled in confusion. "You looked so pleased with yourself. And I just had this feeling, like… like we've been waiting for so long, and now when I see you, I don't feel scared anymore."

"Scared?" he asked quietly, and she slid one hand from his shoulder down to his chest, her eyes following it.

"Of us," she said. "Of this. What it means for us. I was always scared we'd lose everything we have if we tried to… have more."

"And you're not scared of that now?"

She smiled, looking up at him. "You sound like Burke."

She watched as he searched his memory. It took almost ten seconds before he frowned. "The shrink you saw after… what happened?"

"After I was shot," she said, seeing the flash of tension on his face. She ran her palm across his chest reassuringly. "And yeah, Dr. Burke. Same guy. That's who I've been seeing every week."

Castle absorbed this information. It made sense that she'd continue working with a person she'd come to trust.

"He always asks questions, and waits for me to answer," Beckett added, and he nodded, saying nothing. She paused for a few seconds before continuing.

"So… no. No, I'm not scared anymore. I mean, it would kill me to lose what we have, but I don't think that's going to happen. That's what I could never get my head around before."

Again, he waited for her to continue, not daring to interrupt.

"I know it'll work," she said at last, looking into his eyes and letting him see everything she was feeling. "I know because we're… we're right for each other. We fit. You know?"

He gave a small smile, nodding slowly. There was the barest trace of sadness around the edge of it.

"I've known for a long time," he said, and she sighed, leaning in once more to rest her forehead against his.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I wish… I just needed the chance to get better. To be better. I've known for a long time too."

She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, then another, before sitting back to look at him again.

"Tonight just felt right," she said. "Being here with you… it felt like… I had no idea why I was waiting anymore."

Castle said nothing for several long moments, then he tilted in head, seeming to accept her answer.

"And what about tomorrow?" he asked, in a quiet voice. "Or when we go back to work on Monday?"

She felt another twist of guilt, and her hand slid up to cradle his cheek.

"That's up to you," she replied softly, and she saw that he was about to respond, so she pushed onwards. "But… I don't want to go back to how things were. I can wait for you, if you want me to – god knows you've got a right to make me wait, and I deserve it – but if you're asking what I want… well, I want this. I want us."

"After four years?" he asked, and she nodded.

"I'm so sorry," she said again. "I'm going to find a way to make it up to you. Just tell me what you want."

He looked at her for a moment, and then directed his gaze over her shoulder. The movie's credits were rolling.

"And if I need some time now?" he asked quietly, not looking at her. He felt her tense.

Beckett's pulse quickened, and all her old fears rose up. Being too late; keeping him waiting too long; missing her chance. She swallowed.

"Then I'll wait for you," she said, with more calmness than she felt. "For as long as you need."

She shifted in his lap, getting ready to move away, but his palms tightened on her hips.

"I needed to know," he said, looking at her earnestly. "We can't do this if it's not… the same, for both of us. We both deserve that."

She felt tears sting the corners of her eyes.

"Of course it's the same," she said softly, running her thumb down the incredibly soft skin just in front of his ear. "That's what I've been telling you."

His eyelids slid shut, and he took a deep breath, exhaling in contentment, then he opened his eyes again to look at her.

But of course the author needs the words, she thought, seeing the vulnerability and lingering uncertainty in his eyes. Worse, she could see that he had already decided to keep waiting for her, no matter what tonight's changes would bring.

His gaze was unfocused now, his mind occupied entirely with her touch.

"Rick," she said, drawing his attention immediately. His fingertips brushed along her waist through the blouse, in a way that was somehow incredibly intimate and heartbreakingly tender.

"I want to dive into this with you," she said. "All of it. No more holding back."

Blue eyes looked back at her.

"We'll have to be careful, at work I mean, but… I don't want to hide anymore, from anybody. Especially you."

Blue eyes flicked away, and then back.

"I want to go and tell your mother and your beautiful daughter that I was so stupid to not grab onto you and never let go."

Blue eyes widened.

"I want to tell Ryan and Esposito that yes, goddammit, they are always interrupting something."

Blue eyes crinkled at the corners.

She lifted her other hand to gently cup his other cheek.

"But really I just want you to know that it's the same for both of us," she said. "It's been the same for a long time."

Blues eyes acquired a sparkle.

"And… when you say the same…" he replied, his hands now sliding up to rest on her waist, ever so lightly.

She looked at this man, only inches away, who had come to mean everything to her; who filled her life; who showed her what life could be.

The man who set me free.

She let a tear fall now, because there was no longer any need to hold back.

"When I say the same," she replied, "what I'm really saying is… I love you too."