"I'll scream! I swear I will; I will scream as loud as I can and the neighbors will floo in and when they do, I'll tell them to get the aurors!"

There was a menacing glint in James's eyes that sent a nervous-excited thrill down Lily's spine. She backed up further until her heel hit the side of the sofa behind her. She gulped audibly. They were in their living room in Godrick's Hollow and James Potter had been in predatory chase for the past ten minutes or so. But now he had her cornered. She was backed against the couch and he was closing in on her, already too close for her to dart around him on the side that wasn't protected by a heavily portrait-lined wall.

"James, I'm serious!" She shrieked, fighting the giggle that would break her facade instantly.

James stood up straight, looking briefly indignant. "You most certainly are not! If you were Sirius, I would never do this-"

Lily did, in fact, scream. James had leapt at her, quite animalistically, landing on top of her and wrapping his arms around her possessively. Together their bodies rolled off of the couch onto the floor, James sprawled beneath her not uncomfortably. He rolled them one more time until she was pinned neatly under him. "Now, say it, Lily-pad."

"James-"

"Say it!"

"Fine! Fine, fine fine! But it doesn't get left lying around where he can get to it." She folded her arms, rather an impressive feat in her position.

He wasn't removing his person from her by any means. In fact, he'd only pressed down further. Surely this was as close as he could get without suffocating her under his weight. "Alright, whatever... stipulations… But it's a First-Flyer anyway, it gets about a whole six inches off the ground." He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Yes. Well, aren't you going to go write Padfoot and tell him the good news?" She asked.

James looked sheepish, a look she rarely got to see anymore, though it was one of his most popular back in Seventh Year. "Right. I, uh… I may have told him to go ahead and purchase it last week." She glared. "That's why I needed you to say yes!"

"James Cygnus Potter-"

He cut her short with his lips, pressing them to her's before she could curse him out of existence. She put up a mild fight for approximately twelve seconds before she melted under him, her anger dissolving as she wrapped her arms around his neck - in a gesture of affection rather than strangulation.

"I'm not done with you," She warned against his mouth.

"Nor am I," He pulled away only to dive his nose into the crook of her neck and jaw, planting kisses wherever he could find skin, consequently gathering a mouth full of copper-tinted hair in the process.

She giggled loudly when he found the spot toward the back of her neck where he knew she was most sensitive. "Stop!" She pleaded breathily.

"Don't wanna," He mumbled into her shoulder blade, which muffled his voice considerably so that it came out sounding more like "Bogh Mudda".

"Go away," She swatted at his back half-heartedly.

He responded by planting more wet kisses over her shoulders.

She shivered involuntarily, ceasing her protests. "Sev…"

There was an awful moment where James simply stopped moving. She lay beneath him, not even daring to breathe, and squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could. By her quick calculations, there was about a one to a zillion chance that he hadn't heard her.

"Um… Lily-pad?" He asked, voice tense. He still hadn't moved.

"Yes?" Her voice was almost imperceptible.

"What… Well, what I mean is… um - What?" She winced, though his voice remained painfully conversational.

"Uhh -"

She was saved by a shrill wail coming from the nursery upstairs. She shot up immediately, impervious to James's bodily obstruction - a small reminder that she could have thrown him off at any point in the tussle. She stood so quickly she swayed once she'd stood. "Uh, that'll be Harry."

"Are you sure?" James asked, his tone very even. Frighteningly even. "Could be anyone, really."

"Uh…" She took a deep breath. "I'll get -" She didn't finish the sentence before she was fleeing up the stairs.

Harry's tiny face was tomato-red while he hollered, but no tears had spilled over his cheeks. He had pulled himself up on the side of his playpen and resorted to making as much noise as he possibly could in search of attention. "Well, you're not even that upset, are you, Harry? You just wanna make some noise?" She picked him up and his ululations faded out and ceased. See? It's not so bad. Well, for you, it's not. Me… Oh, I'm in trouble. What just happened? I wasn't even thinking - he never even crossed my mind!" She babbled to Harry, bouncing him on her hip. Big green eyes looked up at her attentively, as if what she had to say was the most interesting discourse he'd ever witnessed.

"All better, Bambi?" She asked, pressing a kiss to the soft dark hairs on the top of this head. She'd been calling him Bambi privately since he'd been born. Even James had never heard her use the endearment, partly because he would not get the reference and partly because it would go straight to his inflated, antlered head. "So do you think he's calmed down at this point?"

Harry scrunched his whole face together, threatening tears. "Yeah, me neither." She coddled him for another long moment, just hoping that the passage of time would put James in his right mind.

"He is awfully quiet down there. You don't -" She felt her heart sink and a lump form in her throat. "You don't think he stepped out, do you, Bambi? I'm not in the right head-space to go searching for him if he throws a countrywide tantrum, honestly." She sighed, trying to be annoyed but only managing an even deeper sense of personal guilt.

"Oh, come on, Harry," She heaved a sigh and resigned herself to creeping back down the stairs, this time with a ten-month old balanced on her hip. "How about an adventure to the high-chair while Mummy figures out what she did in her life to karmically deserve this, eh?"

Lily took one step into the kitchen. "Oh, for the love of Morgana!" She heaved a frustrated breath and deposited Harry in his high-chair while eight eyes followed her progress.

James was sitting at the kitchen table, as unnervingly collected as ever, hands folded patiently over the hard wood of the table-top. He was flanked on one side by Remus and Peter and on the other by Sirius. Sirius looked outraged. His face was a mask of incredulous fury. Remus looked as calm as James, though in a much more believable manor. Peter just looked nervous.

"Really, James? You fire-called the Marauders?" Lily leaned back against the counter and folded her arms.

"Yes, Lilian," Lily twitched, "It was an emergency. We need to discuss this."

"A - my name is not Lilian, for the last damn time, Potter. And B - don't we need to discuss this? When is the last time we settled a dispute without this being a five-person marriage?" Lily asked.

"I will tell you when, it was about ten minutes ago, when we were disputing whether or not Sirius could get Harry a toy-broom for his birthday. Argument averted, no need to bring in the reinforcements. This, however, is a different matter entirely." His hands were still folded politely and it was beginning to alarm Lily. Reluctantly, she checked that Harry was secure in his seat and lowered herself into a chair at the table across from the foursome.

"Alright, let's get this over wi-"

"Men, I have gathered you here to bare witness to the case: Lily Potter versus Lily-Potter's-Mouth. Adorable and perfectly bowed as those lips may be, the fact of the circumstance is that in a moment of - considerable - passion, they uttered the name…. Severus."

At mention of the name, Sirius spat vehemently onto the floor next to him.

"You feral -" Lily rose from her seat in disgust, eyes firey.

Remus reached around James and whacked Sirius in the back of the head violently. Sirius winced and momentari `s'ly shut his mouth, but appeared no less indignant. "Severus!" He repeated. "Remus, she called him Severus!"

"I am aware -"

"Technically, I never said 'Severus'. I… Well, I did call him 'Sev', I think."

"That is so much worse!" Sirius's voice was dangerously high in pitch.

"Oh, please, do explain how that is worse," Lily goaded.

"Sev is a nic-name; a term of endearment! You didn't simply call him the name of a colleague or acquaintance. You called him the established pet-name of a former -"

"Friend!" Lily cut Sirius off.

He stared her down with all the intensity of an Unforgivable Curse. "Oh a friend, was he? Do you always cry the names of your friends while your husband is holding you, caressing you tenderly, cocooned, naked, in the carnal entwination of the marital sanctum?"

"The carnal - I'm sorry, what?"

James cleared his throat quietly and spoke without removing his eyes from Lily, "Uh, Padfoot, just to be clear we were fully clothed."

"Prongs, the act of love-making between a man and his wife is sacred, no matter how many layers -"

"Again, just for clarification, er… we were not… making love."

Sirius faltered, "What? But… Okay, fooling around?"

James's eyebrows knit together, "Well, not really."

"Prongs!" Sirius finally broke eye contact with Lily - which actually made him the first of the Marauders to do so since she'd entered the kitchen with Harry - to glare at James instead, "Give me something to work with, Mate!"

"We were kissing -"

"KISSING!" Sirius scrounged for his indignity.

"James, I believe your words were 'deep in the throws of passion', when you summoned us here," Remus pointed out.

"I thought you said she declared her love to Snivelous," Peter frowned, "I'm confused."

"Now is not the time, Wormtail!" Sirius hissed, but he was visibly losing steam. "The fact remains that… Lily Potter… James…" He swore quietly but passionately to himself. "Prongs, I got nothing."

"What?!" James hollered outrageously. "Do none of you have my back here?!"

The four of them seemed to have forgotten Lily was sitting there. She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest while they bickered amongst themselves. She glanced over at Harry, who was contentedly chewing on his favorite stuffed toy snitch.

… "Well, have you not showered recently? Maybe she mistook your scent -"

"I shower regularly, and she's not a dog, Padfoot, she did not 'mistake my scent'."

"All I'm saying is that it happens!"

Lily sighed and got to her feet, striding over to the stove to put the kettle on. This could go on for a long time. When she turned around, Remus was standing next to her.

"You think they'll sort this all out by tonight?" He asked, turning to press his backside to the counter beside the stove, watching his friends.

"Probably not. We can order in for dinner. And I'd better set up the pull-out so you can kip in the living room. I knew we should have moved in someplace with at least six guest bedrooms. And Harry effectively pushed you out of the one we did have."

Remus smiled warmly, undeterred by the prospect of spending the night on a muggle-pull-out sofa. "You'll be needing a bigger place soon enough anyway. Honestly, this is a lovely home, but I can't see you staying here much longer."

"It's not so cramped - not when you lot haven't invaded, that is," She defended their small home.

"Not yet. Mind you, we all love Harry too much for you not to have about a hundred more of him. Just wait," He predicted. Lily beamed and finished putting up the water to boil for tea. Meanwhile, from the table they heard:

"There is nothing I could have done to make her think I was him. Nothing!"

"Maybe she didn't say 'Sev' at all, maybe she said 'Save' or 'Sieve'…" Wormtail offered meekly.

"Or maybe it's that you're a great fucking prat -"

"Sirius." Remus's tone was warning and Sirius immediately set to rearranging his vocabulary for Harry's sake. Then he turned back to Lily. "Is it really an invasion? You know I'd never want to impose…"

Lily put a small hand on Remus's sharp shoulder. "Moony, don't you dare. You've never once imposed. Even this," She gestured to the three young men at the table, "This is family. These are the people that belong in this house."

Remus chuckled, "Even in your marriage?"

Lily gave him a defeated look, "The three of you have always made up half of who James is as a wizard. If I have to love him, I have to love all of you."

Remus smiled deeply - the kind that lit up his eyes and pulled at the scars on his face. He put his arms around her and pulled her into a fraternal embrace.

"Oye! Not you, too!" James cried to Remus from the table.

"Oh, shut up, Sev." Lily commanded.

He did not shut up.