Hello, everyone. Man, has it been a long time... Listen, I'd like to apologize for... Well, pretty much everything. I haven't written anything in a long time, and I haven't written anything half decent in forever. That last thing I posted was stupid- I was trying to be something that I'm not, and write in a way that's not how I write, and I was honestly just trying to fill a gap that wasn't really meant to be filled. So, sorry about that short story and its atrocity of an existence.

But now I'm finally back, with something that hopefully isn't as bad as that one was. I'm not trying to be something that I'm not. I'm just going to write this one the same way I wrote Fatal Attraction.

By the way, that story just sort of evolved as it went on, and I had no idea what it was going to do when I started... But maybe now I'll know a little better.

~ Three

The cream-colored tarp produced a cloud of dust when it was whipped through the air, making the attic even more full of the substance. The objects that had been underneath the tarp were not in much better shape. They were old, coated with dust and cobwebs.

Some of the pieces had worn down over time, but each of the figurines' features were still discernible. The buildings and larger models that were part of the diorama still depicted Gravity Falls in an accurate way. Huh, not much of the town had really changed.

After two years of letting them gather dust in the attic of the Mystery Shack, Mabel Pines was finally getting her old matchmaking model collection out again.

She needed it now more than ever.

Mabel scanned the diorama with her eyes, picking through the figurines and searching the buildings for the desired piece. When she located the wooden version of Dipper, she smiled and grabbed it, holding it up in front of her face.

As Mabel inspected the small carving, her matchmaking brain buzzed, thinking. She picked a few pieces of lint off of the figurine.

"Hm..."

Who would be perfect for her brother?

Mabel spent the larger part of the afternoon searching through the crowds of tiny statues, carefully considering each move and each possibility.

"No, too young... Too old... Hm, maybe..." Mabel muttered to herself as she held up one after another.

She wasn't ruling anyone out, as long as they were about the same age.

After a few hours, the fourteen-year-old yawned and rubbed her eyes, her hands getting tired from the constant motion. Mabel leaned back in the chair she was sitting in and eyed the diorama of the town that was sitting on the desk in front of her.

It didn't make much sense. Why was this so difficult? Come on, Mabel was the greatest matchmaker of all time! She had helped Soos and Melody find each other, plus Waddles and Gompers... And her greatest achievement had to be Robbie and Tambry.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't entirely her doing... But regardless, she'd never had an unhappy customer.

Mabel hugged her knees to her chest, still staring at the model, deep in thought. She had always kind of thought that Dipper was a lost cause when it came to love. He hadn't really improved upon his social skills since they were younger, and was just about as awkward as he had always been.

Mabel tapped her chin with one finger, staring up at one of the moldy spots on the ceiling. Wendy was too old for Dipper, but she had pretty much been the only girl he'd ever really succeeded in interacting with. Dipper was either too shy or too scared to do much of anything with girls- and just other people in general.

This wasn't the first time Mabel had tried to find someone for her brother. Over the past few years, she had been very persistent, making attempts both during their trips to Gravity Falls and their time spent at home in Piedmont.

Dipper just wasn't cut out for this sort of thing.

Mabel sighed and picked up the Dipper figurine again, holding it up to the afternoon light shining in from the window.

This was going to be harder than she thought.

~~~ TIME SKIP ~~~

Mabel eventually decided to meet up with her old friends to talk about this. Candy and Grenda may not have been as great at matchmaking as her, but they sure did know a lot.

The three teenage girls were sitting at a booth in Greasy's Diner. Mabel was poking absentmindedly at her small plate of pancakes. Sitting on the other side of the table were her two best friends, Candy and Grenda. Candy was texting on her phone, and Grenda was busy shoveling bacon into her mouth.

"I don't know, girls... Do you know anyone in Gravity Falls who could date Dipper? Let's face it, it's about time he got out there." Mabel looked up at her friends hopefully.

Candy put down her phone, pushing her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. "Well, there are plenty of girls in town that are about Dipper's age. I bet it's possible to find one who is equally awkward and socially incapable, but I don't think you're a good enough matchmaker to do that."

"Gee, thanks, that really boosted my self-esteem," Mabel huffed sarcastically, resting her elbows on the table and leaning forward. "Come on, I need ideas, people! Grenda, do you know anyone?"

Grenda shifted her gaze from her food to Mabel. She thought for a while, then just shrugged. "I don't know if there's anyone in town like that."

Mabel groaned and slammed her forehead down on the table. "There has to be something we can do..."

The other two girls thought over their dilemma. After a few minutes, Candy snapped her fingers, drawing Mabel's attention back to her.

"What? What is it? Did you come up with someone?"

"How about Pacifica Northwest? She and Dipper seem to be on good terms, ever since he got rid of that ghost that was haunting Northwest Manor. She likes him, right?"

"Hm..." Although it was true that Pacifica was friends with the Pines twins to some extent, she was still... On a whole different level than they were, with pretty much everything. "Something tells me that Pacifica wouldn't be up for that."

"Can't hurt to try, right?"

Mabel glanced at Candy and Grenda, seeing the earnestness in their eyes. She sighed, then pulled her cell phone out of the pocket of her sweater.

"I guess it's worth a shot."

She dialed the number, crossing her fingers under the table.

Asking Pacifica had basically gone exactly how Mabel had expected it to. She had flat-out refused, saying that she only liked Dipper as a friend and that there was no way she would ever date him.

Mabel wasn't defeated, though. There were still plenty of fish in the sea.

Mabel had returned to the Mystery Shack to look at her diorama again. She was laying on her back on her bed, turning the Dipper figurine over in her hands as she held it above her. Waddles, her pet pig, was asleep beside her.

She was completely stumped at the moment, and it just didn't make sense. Why was the one person she couldn't find a date for her brother? She had been closer to him than practically anybody else. Shouldn't she know exactly who to look for.

Mabel's thoughts were interrupted when the door of the attic swung open, creaking on the hinges. The girl looked in that direction and saw Dipper standing in the doorway, looking exhausted and a bit beat-up.

"Hey, Mabel," Dipper said, crossing the room and flopping onto his bed. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing really..." Mabel retracted the hand holding the figurine into the sleeve of her sweater, concealing it. She sat up and stared at her brother.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I've just been out in the woods all day, just chasing monsters and solving mysteries and stuff. No big deal..." Dipper trailed off, removing the old journal he had found over two years ago from inside his vest. He opened the cover and started to flip through the pages.

Mabel got to her feet and approached her brother, standing in front of him and looking at the book from above. She watched Dipper take out a black light from his pocket and shine it on the page, revealing some complicated diagram or something.

Dipper was muttering to himself, tracing different things on the pages with his fingers, and just acting... Strange. Stranger than normal, at least.

"Dip, when was the last time you got any sleep?"

"Oh, I don't know... It's been a couple days..."

Mabel tilted her head to look at Dipper's face from a different angle. She could see the bags under his eyes, and she sighed disapprovingly.

"Dipper, remember what happens when you don't sleep...?"

"Mmm." He didn't even look up from the book in his hands.

No wonder Mabel couldn't seem to find anyone who would date Dipper. Who would want to? He was kind of a mess.

"I'm gonna go get some dinner or something. See ya later." She turned away from Dipper and marched across the attic, pausing in the doorway for a moment before exiting.

Mabel ran her thumb across the worn piece of wood she still had in her hand. She slid the figurine into her sweater pocket.

Food now, matchmaking later.

Huh. It appeared that there was still a game to be played, still some fun to be had here in Gravity Falls.

Shooting Star was trying to find a date for Pine Tree! How adorable! Shooting Star sure knew how to have a good time, and how to amuse a demon.

Bill Cipher had been hopping between dimensions a lot around this time, and he decided to pay a visit to his favorite little human meat bags in the world.

The Pines twins had certainly grown up a lot. They were fourteen now, and they had changed quite a bit. Especially Shooting Star- she was now a lot more like a teenager than a child. The form of her body was completely different, and although she wore the same clothes, she seemed to have really transformed.

Pine Tree, on the other hand, was not really that different than he was two years before. He was still sweaty and awkward, and those hysterical voice cracks still came all the time. Sure, he was taller and everything, but he wasn't really that different after all.

Bill had watched the events of the past few days unfold from the mindscape. It was funny to watch Shooting Star play with her little effigies, trying to lay out their destinies for them. How cute that she thought she had that power.

And her persistence in trying to aid the lost cause that was Pine Tree's love life? Priceless.

Every failed attempt made Bill's day- and there were a lot of failures. It seemed that none of the girls in Gravity Falls wanted to have anything to do with Pine Tree.

Why would they, really? What did he have to offer besides some cleverness and intelligence?

These children and their allies had defeated Bill before, yes, but now their lives were just his own personal puppet show again. He wasn't exactly in charge this time around, but it sure was fun to watch from the sidelines and witness every pathetic attempt that Shooting Star made.

Bill decided to check in on Pine Tree one day, when the boy was at a prearranged date at that filthy diner with some random girl. The dream demon hovered beside the table, watching everything, wondering how Shooting Star actually managed to get her brother to go on these dates every time.

Pine Tree was picking at his food with his fork, hiding his face behind the brim of his hat and refusing to look up at the girl sitting across from him. She was trying to make conversation, but her words never received much of a response.

"So, how long have you been in Gravity Falls?"

"A while."

"Have you ever been here before?"

"Yeah."

"What do you like to do for fun?"

"Read. Go outside. I don't know."

"Jeez, Pine Tree," Bill said aloud, chuckling. "For some reason, I was expecting more from even you."

The rest of the date passed in a manner similar to this part of the conversation. It ended with Pine Tree silently paying for the meal and then leaving the restaurant with nothing more than a quick goodbye.

Hm... This was a bit uncharacteristic... But it sure was entertaining!

With a final laugh at the mortal boy's blunders, Bill snapped his fingers and jumped to another reality.

Thanks for reading, guys. I'll try to update as soon as possible. I'm traveling for about a week, starting next Friday, but I'll get a new chapter up when I can. As always, your feedback would be greatly appreciated. See you guys later!

~ Three