The ride from the reserve through to New York was filled with songs and chatter. Bella and Alice fell back into their friendship as if there had been no pause at all. Bella filled her in on some of the gaps in her visions, and Alice told Bella about her life in New York. They made lists of things to watch together, and to show each other. It wasn't until they passed the "Welcome To New York" sign, that Bella felt her anxiety start to return. Suddenly none of the songs that were playing could holder interest, and she couldn't think of anything to talk about. She stared out the window, she picked at her nails, then she drummed them restlessly on the windowsill. Her leg started to bounce uncontrollably. She kept changing the song, finally turning the music off all together. Then turning it on again. Then off. She felt cooped up, and was suddenly tired of being in the car. Her hand found the door handle and attempted to squeeze it to keep her still, but it broke off completely, and crumbled in her hand.

"Oh crap! Alice, I'm so sorry!" She apologized, but Alice was chuckling softly to herself.

"Don't worry about it. Is that tension I'm sensing?" She asked with a smirk.

"I guess it's pretty obvious right?" Bella replied, with a sheepish smile.

"Granted I'm not the empath in the family, but you're sending out some pretty strong vibes." Alice laughed. Bella started to twirl a broken handle piece in her hands absentmindedly as she stared out the window.

"I didn't realize we were so close already" Bella said absently. It was getting closer and closer to the moment of truth. She felt like she was equal parts excited and terrified to meet the family again. What if they hated her now? There's a big difference between liking someone you thought would be out of your life in a matter of years, and liking someone you suddenly had to deal with forever. What if they can't stand living with her, and then she'd be all alone? When she had formed her plan to go to Alaska she had been prepared to end up going it alone. She'd really only planned to ask them to point her in a direction, any direction, and then she'd be on her way. But now the possibility of being with this family, her family, was real she was freaking out, and she wasn't sure she could handle having to go it alone now. She felt like she was marching into an audition, where she'd sit in front of a panel awaiting her fate.

"Hey Bella?" Alice's voice drew Bella out of the never ending spiral of her thoughts. "I was thinking about how we should handle meeting up with the family, and I have an idea, if you're interested." Bella nodded her head eagerly. "Well, I know how... overbearing they, well we, can be sometimes. Especially when we're excited about something. So, what if we do this one at a time?" Bella could feel the relief instantly flood through her body, and she wondered if she was as easy to read as a vampire as she was as a human.

"That...would that even be possible?" She didn't want to get her hopes up, but the thought of seeing everyone one a time sounded so much more manageable.

"It's Definitely possible!" Alice exclaimed. "Rose and Emmett actually won't even be here until sometime tomorrow anyway, so that makes that one easy. Carlisle is teaching for rest of the afternoon, so we just have to split up Esme and Jasper". Alice explained matter-of-factly.

Alice made it sound so easy, but Bella wasn't so sure. She thought about who she would see first, and who she wanted to see first. Who would be...what? The easiest? Who would want to see her? The person she wanted to see the most again was probably Esme if she was being honest. Esme had always made her feel so welcome and wanted. She was most anxious about seeing of Alice and Edward, the way they left things was the most confused and traumatic, especially since they hadn't even spoken to each other since he was fighting his way across the living room to kill her. Even before that she never really knew where she stood with Jasper. He was always so distant and uneasy around her. She was usually worrying about making him uncomfortable. And then that night. She didn't blame him for his reaction to her blood, or fear him all, but she was worried about how he saw her now. She felt so guilty for having put him in that terrible position in the first place, and she wondered if he blamed her for the way everything turned out. She definitely did sometimes. "Who first?" She asked, trying to sound confident.

"Jasper" Alice replied, without missing a beat. "You guys have the most baggage to deal with, since the last you saw each other he was trying to kill you". She made a good point, but Bella was still unsure. Alice seemed to understand her hesitance. "I think your uncertainty is all the more reason to do it. If you can get through this one, the rest will be easier". Bella gave her a look.

"Except for Rosalie" they said in unison before bursting into giggles again.

"I suppose you're right about Jasper being first." Bella conceded. As soon as Bella started to voice her reply Alice was typing away on her phone, presumably sending a text. Seconds later a reply dinged.

"Ok, he's going to meet us in Buttermilk Falls. It's a state park, It's beautiful, you'll love it. There's not much in the way of hunting, but I think you'll be okay for a while still." Alice explained quickly. Bella's mind was spinning, but there was also a comfort in the ability to shift so easily back into this dynamic. Alice always being a step ahead, sometimes forgetting to clue everyone in. It made her smile.

"How long until we get there?" She asked quietly. Alice paused for a second before answering.

"About... Ten minutes." After another pause she glanced and Bella and smiled reassuringly. "Bella, it will be fine, I promise. I wouldn't ask you to do something I didn't think you could handle. I'm not going to risk your trust again." The shift in tone and the seriousness in Alice's voice weren't lost on Bella. She suddenly understood that Alice was just as afraid of being rejected as she was. A part of her wondered if that feeling spread to the rest of the family, but she decided that she would trust Alice. Alice had come back for her, and was doing everything she could to bridge the gap she'd helped to create. In for a penny, in for a pound, Bella decided. She trusted that Alice was being careful and considerate of her feelings. A part of her knew that Alice would probably have loved to plan a full on coming out party for the big reveal if she could, with a gown and a staircase. But she was handling this with respect and care, and Bella was truly appreciative of her efforts. It helped her to calm down a lot.

Nine minutes later they were running through the beautiful nature reserve. Bella decided that running was one of her new favorite activities. The exhilaration she felt when the wind blew through her hair, the incredible speed she was able to achieve while still seeing and avoiding every obstacle, the freedom of it all made her feel high. She was a little ashamed to admit it, but she felt more herself as a vampire then she ever did as a human. Maybe this was who she was meant to be? What does that say about her?

Suddenly a scent she couldn't place stopped her in her tracks. It was familiar, like Alice, but off. It was strange. She didn't even realize that Alice had stopped just behind her and was watching her closely. She focused on the trees in the direction of the scent, trying to use her newly sharpened sight to search for anything out of place in the trees. She was about to give up when she saw a shadow move.

"Is that...?" She asked.

"Right on time!" Alice chirped beside her. Alice raced ahead to greet him. Bella watched as they stood in front of each other, holding hands and slightly inclining their foreheads towards each other until they were softly touching, as if they were just taking in each other's presence for a moment. Bella looked away to give them some privacy. After a few moments Alice beckoned her over, walking away as Bella approached.

"Alice!" She called out incredulously, but Alice had already disappeared into the woods. She was left alone with Jasper, who was smiling a little sheepishly at her.

"I think she wanted us to be able to talk without her interference." He said. Bella looked at him then, and gasped, truly seeing him for perhaps the first time.

"Jasper! What happened to you!?" She exclaimed reaching out automatically to touch the scars she saw on his face. Scars that matched the very distinct bite mark she had on her arm. He laughed slightly and looked down for a moment.

"Don't worry Bella, these scars are older than you are, by quite some time. They're from the war" He explained with a twinkle in his eye.

"Vietnam?" Bella asked, naming the first war that came to her head. Jasper laughed heartily, seeming more at ease than she'd ever seen him before.

"No. The Civil War, actually." He explained.

"You fought vampires during the Civil War?" Bella exclaimed.

"Yes, but that is a long story. Probably best kept for another time". He said.

"Right. Of course." Bella replied. And with that, she found herself staring awkwardly at the ground as she parsed through all of her thoughts and emotions. She wanted to say so many things at the same time. Since Jasper seemed to be waiting for her to begin, She decided to start at the beginning. "Jasper, I'm so, so sorry for all the trouble I caused you." She apologized. Jasper registered something between shock and amusement at her apology.

"What? Bella, what on earth do you have to be sorry for?" He asked incredulously. Now it was Bella's turn to be shocked.

"For ruining everything. For being the reason you all had to uproot and leave. For being careless enough to draw blood in room full of vampires. For being nothing but a walking temptation whenever I was around any of you. It must've been awful, and I'm sorry." She explained as if it was obvious, because to her it was obvious. Jasper's expression turned serious.

"Bella, None of what happened was your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. It was an accident. You cut yourself, it happens. You should be allowed to get a paper cut without worrying about dying. I could've killed you. You should be mad at me. I'm the one who is deeply and honestly sorry". He replied.

"But you didn't hurt me!" She exclaimed. "I've never been angry at you, and I've never blamed you for what happened." Bella insisted. Jasper paused for a moment before responding, reading the truth in her statement through her emotions.

"Bella, I am truly glad that you're going to be a member of this family. And, even though the circumstances are...cruel, I want you to know that I see you as a sister, and hopefully, as a friend. We were wrong to leave you." Jasper's eyes were different that Bella had ever seen them. He was unguarded, and open. She could see that he meant it, and she was touched.

"Thank you Jasper. That means a lot, but I really don't think you had any other choice. You all have been together as a family for so long, I don't think anyone would expect your family to fracture because of one silly human." She said.

"But you were never just a silly human. Aside from Edward and Alice I was the one who knew that the most, and I should have stood up for you, but I didn't". He returned, trying desperately to make her understand.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, surprised.

"I sense emotions, remember? I always tried to keep my distance from you, physically, obviously, but also emotionally. There was always so much going on inside of you, fear, uncertainty, insecurity. I watched as you played it off and kept most people at an arms distance, and then slowly started letting us in, little by little. I know how much you loved us, and how much everyone loved you. But I never said anything. Not to Alice, or Carlisle, or Edward." He dropped his head, as if he was unburdening a deep confession.

"Why?" She couldn't help but ask. She wasn't angry, but she was curious. She never really thought about how much of her true feelings Jasper could feel because she was so busy trying to manage the ones she projected.

"Because I didn't want to get involved. I didn't want to care about you. You were a human, and while I could sense Edward's feelings for you and how genuine they were, I also knew that he was against changing you. So I knew that even in the best of circumstances you were temporary, and I didn't want to get attached. I was selfish, and wrong. And it wasn't until after we'd left that I realized what Alice already knew" Jasper admitted.

"What's that?" Bella prompted when he paused.

"That I had already grown attached. You were my sister, and I already cared for you at least as much as Rose, in that short time. In my first real test as your brother, I failed you. Twice in a row. I almost killed you, and then I let Edward leave you. I'm sorry" He bowed his head again in shame and Bella was again touched by his honesty. But she wasn't going to let him stew in this guilt by himself.

"You didn't actually hurt me. Technically it was Edward who hurt me. That night and the next day. Please don't blame yourself. I shouldn't have pushed so hard to be a part of your family. All I did was complicate things." Jasper laughed and shook his head.

"Bella, we could go around and around blaming ourselves and forgiving each other forever. Literally. How about we both agree that it wasn't the others fault, and we both try and cut ourselves some slack. How does that sound?" He asked, mirth lightening his southern twang.

Bella thought about it for a moment. He was right. Blaming herself was getting exhausting. Knowing neither of them blamed each other would have to be enough for now. They could deal with the rest later.

"Okay" She agreed. "That seems fair". She held out her hand to shake on the deal. He laughed again and took her hand in a brief shake. As their hands dropped, Bella heard a branch snap to her left. For a brief moment, panic flooded through her, causing her to feel the warm power within her start to envelop her again, until she realized it was just Alice, and she felt herself relax, the warm feeling dissipating almost as quickly as it had come.

"You guys have a nice chat?" She asked. Bella was about to reply affirmatively when she looked over and saw that Jasper's eyes were wide and concerned.

"What was that?!" He asked. Bella wondered if maybe that golden glow had returned again this time. It didn't feel that powerful, but then again she was still getting used to whatever this was. Maybe she always glowed?

"Oh, did you see it? It's sort of a recent development. It's happened a couple of times since I woke up." She started to explain, but was cut off by Jasper.

"I didn't see anything, but I felt it." He said, still studying her closely.

"What do you mean? Oh god, I didn't hurt you did I?" Bella felt panic and worry nip at her mind. It had only ever caused any kind of damage once before, and that had been when her Father's life was in danger. She hoped this wasn't going to be something that would randomly hurt people. That might be too much to handle. What if she was a danger to everyone, all the time. Like a constant time bomb. Would she have to live in seclusion? Her mind was running on a loop at what felt like a million miles per hour, and she felt like she was getting sucked into a vortex. She suddenly felt calmness trickling around the edges of her panic, and she let it wash over her, realizing that it must be coming from Jasper, and accepting it gratefully.

"I'm fine, it didn't affect me physically at all. It's just...It's like you were here with Alice, and you were both feeling things; I had a good read on both of your emotions, and then suddenly you were gone. For a split second it was just me and Alice out here. What was that?" He asked.

Bella glanced at Alice before answering. "I'm...I'm not really sure. It just kind of happens when I'm scared. Or in danger. Or super desperate. I feel a warmth and... I think it protects me." She tried to explain. Jasper looked thoughtful, but before he could ask her anymore questions Alice spoke up.

"I think this might be a conversation that would benefit from more participants. Like Carlisle, and probably Eleazar." She stated.

"Eleazar?" Bella asked.

"He's a member of the Denali coven." Alice explained. "We've mentioned them right? Anyway, he and Carlisle have known each other for a long time. A very long time. He can sense other vampire's gifts. He might be able to shed some light on yours"

Bella nodded her head thoughtfully, her interest piqued. "That would be pretty great. What an interesting ability. He just looks at a vampire and knows? Can he tell what a person's power will be when they're still human?" She asked.

"I don't know. That's a good question though. You should ask him when you meet." Alice replied. Bella nodded absently, but noticed that Jasper still looked thoughtful.

"What is it?" She asked him.

"It's just that, no one's ever been able to evade my abilities before. You've always been shielded from Edward's gift, but Alice could always see you, and I could always feel you." He explained, looking a little unsure.

"You can feel her just fine now, right?" Alice asked. Jasper paused for a moment, focusing.

"Yes. I'm picking you both up just fine now. Every person's emotions has a certain...pitch to them. It's as distinct as the smell of each persons blood, and as I spend more time with someone, I become attuned to their emotions. When you blocked me for that moment, it was jarring. It was like you completely went dead inside. The only thing I can compare it to is when someone does die." He paused for a moment, and then let out a laugh right before Bella was about to speak. "I can feel your emotions again, remember? Don't feel sorry. This is incredible. I think there's a very good chance that you're going to be very powerful when you figure out how to use this." He said, his good mood returning.

"I don't care about being powerful." Bella stated automatically.

"I know" He replied. "But you may not have a choice, Darlin". Bella smiled at the endearment. She could almost feel herself relaxing into the idea that this could work. This family could be her family. Alice came up beside her and gave her a hug.

"You're gonna be great Isabella Swan. Absolutely fantastic!" She said with a smile, as she started to walk and Bella followed.

"Um, Alice? The car is in the other direction." Bella said as she started to follow.

"We'll come back for it later. I thought it might be nice to run to the house. It's really not that far, and we can get there by sticking to wooded areas. We'll come back for the car later."

Bella started to follow when she realized that Jasper was staring at her with a perplexed expression on his face, as if something highly distressing had suddenly occurred to him. "What's wrong?" she asked. She looked over to Alice for her input, but she saw that while Alice had stopped walking, she appeared to have to plans to participate in this conversation.

"How are you doing it?" He asked. She could hear confusion and a little bit of something she couldn't place in his voice.

"Doing what?" She asked, completely confused by his meaning.

"How are you controlling it? The thirst, I mean. Every newborn vampire I've ever met has been crazy with it. They can't think straight, they can't even remember who they are. All they want is blood, all the time. From what Alice told me, and what I've seen here, you seem to be completely in control" Jasper sounded amazed. Could the emotion Bella couldn't read before be envy?

She gave her answer some thought before she responded. "I can't really explain it. When I woke up at first, I couldn't quite piece it all together. It was like remembering a dream. But then everything just kind of, clicked into place and I knew that I had to control it. There wasn't a choice. People were counting on me. People I cared about needed me to keep it together, so I kept it together." She explained.

"That's...kind of amazing Bella." Alice spoke up.

"It really is" Jasper added. "Maybe...I wonder if that's a part of your gift. Maybe it all ties in."

"What, like super self control? I'm not gonna lie, on it's own that gift would be pretty lame" Bella laughed, earning a laugh from her two companions as they started back on their way.

The three of them fell into surprisingly easy conversation as they made their way toward the house. Bella was surprised to learn how easily she and Jasper got along. They could carry on conversations about many topics, and she was excited about the prospects of future conversations as she became more well read and knowledgeable. It would seem that his past hesitancy around her, which she had interpreted as indifference at best and dislike at worst, had more to do with the fact that he was afraid of losing control with her. She felt the familiar pangs of guilt creep up, but felt them dissipate almost immediately. She glanced at Jasper, who hadn't even paused in his sentence, and smiled as she again accepted his calming influence.

They'd been running and walking for a while when Alice suddenly stopped. "Okay, the house is up that way, about two miles." She said, and Bella noticed that she and Jasper had fallen back a bit.

"What? Where do you think you're going?" Bella demanded, feeling her panic battle with the calm Jasper was obviously trying to project.

"We are going to hunt, and get the car." Alice said easily. "Esme is home, and she knows you're coming. Carlilse is at work for a few more hours, and Rose and Emmett won't be home until sometime tomorrow. One at a time, remember? Jasper and I will be back later tonight, and we'll all get on the same page then."

"Alice, I can't face them alone...What if I panic?" Bella asked, feeling her insecurities creep up again. Why had this seemed like a good idea?

"Bella, don't worry. Esme is dying to see you. She's missed you so much. This is going to be good, and when it's all over you'll be wondering what you were so afraid of." She reached out and squeezed Bella's hand. "I promise"

Bella sighed in defeat. "Alright. Two miles you say?"

"Yup! It's the brownstone. You can't miss it" She gave her a hug, and then darted off. Jasper followed her shortly, after giving Bella another encouraging nod, and a wave of calm. Once they were both out of sight, Bella took a deep breath, and headed down the path toward her new home. At least, she hoped it would be her home.