History in the Making

Chapter Fifteen – Letting Go

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

We've reached the finale! I know, sadness. BUT. As soon as I upload this, I'm immediately going to start working on the sequel, so please author alert me so you'll get a notification when it happens. If you just want to check back to my profile in a couple of days, I promise that the sequel will be posted by then.

I now give you the final chapter of History in the Making.

December 24, 1980

It had been a couple of months since that night in Dumbledore's office. With Voldemort's forces getting stronger everyday, and James and Lily already in hiding with Harry, Sirius and Cassie had done the same thing with their daughter, Robyn. The births of his niece and Harry had probably been the only two times Remus had been seen with a true smile on his face since everything had happened.

Snow had started to fall as he made his way into the dark graveyard. Remus silently approached the white, marble stone…the rock that was now all that he had left of the love of his life. He fought back the tears that he had promised himself earlier he would not allow to come. This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of the year for him and yet it was shrouded in darkness.

It was the anniversary of the day he had married Liz…one year ago today.

They should be celebrating today, putting up with Sirius and James giving them hell.

They should be planning out their futures, having arguments on whether or not they were going to have children.

They should be hosting Christmas Eve dinner for their friends and preparing last minute gifts for tomorrow's celebration.

Remus shouldn't have been visiting a gravestone that been put up by her parents despite having never found a body to place underneath it.

To mark the occasion, all he could do was find the stone that marked her memory and softly lay down two roses next against the headstone. They were yellow with a tint of blue on the tips…her favorite color thanks to a charm that he had learned at some point in his life. He knelt down in front of the rock and ran a hand down it as if were caressing her delicate face, and spoke quietly, hoping that some how, some way she could hear him.

"Liz…I know that it doesn't do much good now, but I'm sorry. God…I'm so sorry for everything." The tears were falling now and Remus let them, not caring anymore. "I'm sorry for letting you down, for not protecting you. It should have been me, I know that. It should have been me risking my life, not you. I feel like I'm the only person who thinks you're still alive out there somewhere, but your parents wanted to place this here so that we could mourn and move on. I'm not ready to move on."

He sighed and hung his head down and closed his eyes, letting his forehead rest against the stone. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. "I hope that somehow, wherever you are, that you'll find it in your heart to forgive me…forgive me because I can't forgive myself."

Tears still continued to fall from his eyes as his knees finally sank into the cold earth, his shoulders slumped and shaking. He didn't know how long he was sitting there, but when he felt a hand gently touch his shoulder, the ground around him was white.

"I should have known I would find you here today," his sister said softly.

"I just needed to be alone," he muttered, not looking up as he continued to stare at the gravestone in front of him.

"She wouldn't want to see you like this, Remus."

He looked down at the roses that were now covered in snow and shook his head. "I don't know what else to do, Cassie," he said. "I keep hearing Dumbledore…telling me all the time. I can't get it out of my head."

She sighed and bent down beside him, her hand still on his shoulder. She had never seen her brother so distraught in her life. There was only so much she and her parents could do to keep him from spiraling downward. James was in hiding and only Peter knew where they were since he and Sirius had decided to switch places. Remus was their Secret-Keeper, which allowed them to know that he was okay to an extent.

"I don't know what to tell you, Remus," Cassie said softly. "It's just something that you're going to have to figure out on your own. But…at some point, you're going to have to let her go."

"But what if she's still alive?"

Cassie sighed. "Dumbledore seemed to think his spies were pretty clear, Remus."

"But what if there was an off chance that Dumbledore's wrong?"

There was a sound of desperation in his voice that made Cassie want to cry. It was a testament to Remus's love for Liz, and she cursed Voldemort and the damned war for taking the one thing that made her brother feel like a normal person for the first time since they were children.

"Remus, I want to believe she's still alive, but we can't dwell on it. It's been almost three months, and there has been no news. She would want you to move on."

He gave a short nod, trying to pull himself together enough for his sister's sake. He stood up, brushing the snow from his cloak before wiping away his tears.

"It's Christmas Eve," she said softly. "Sirius sent me to find you, and to tell you that you're welcome to stay with us tonight. Besides," she gave a small smile, "it's your niece's first Christmas. You wouldn't want to miss that, especially with how Sirius has everything set up."

"I guess not," he mumbled, giving a half-hearted smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'll meet you back at the house." Cassie gave him a suspicious look and he added, "I promise…I just need to grab something at home." He still wanted to call his and Liz's place 'ours,' and he wasn't about to just claim the place as 'mine.'

She nodded and gave him a sympathetic look before disapparating from the graveyard. Remus sighed and looked back at where he had been sitting one last time before following his sister with a small pop.

Back with Harry…

The entire kitchen was in silence after Sirius finished talking. Remus had returned, and was now sitting with the letter folded out in his hands like he was studying the contents of the parchment. Silently, he passed it to Harry. He found the entire page covered in the same, curly handwriting that Remus's name was etched in on the front.

Dear Remus,

If you're reading this letter, then something went wrong within the Order. First off, I'm sorry that my final goodbye must come from a letter. I want you to know that it kills me to even write this, but Dumbledore insists that we do, this in case. All that I hope and pray is that I never have to read a final goodbye from you.

Quite frankly, I'm at a loss for words. What do you say in a letter that will be delivered after you've died or disappeared? There's so many things I want to say, and not enough time or parchment in this house to cover them. I guess I should start off saying that I hope after I'm gone, you'll move on. I know you'll always love me as I will you, but I hope somebody will come along one day and will care and love you as much as I did. I know if something had happened to you, I wouldn't be able to move on. Maybe you can do I what I couldn't.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of our times within the walls of Hogwarts. I'll never forget the first time Cassie introduced us, and if I remember correctly, I gracefully tripped after that encounter. First years and their clumsiness, eh? You seemed to have had that effect on me where I couldn't think properly around you. As the years went by, the closer you and I got. The only thing that worries me besides leaving you is Cassie and Rose. I hope Cassie and Sirius stay together, and hopefully Rose will find somebody to settle down with after the war too. At this point, I just hope you all survive longer than I do.

I know this war is getting worse every day, and I know you don't approve of me going on this mission Dumbledore is asking me to do. What I hate the most isn't the fact that it requires me to be gone for three months, but the fact that I won't be with you. I won't get to see your smile in the morning, or feel your arms around me at the end of the day. I won't be able to help you before the full moon, or care for you afterward. It kills me to know that these next few days before I leave may be the last time I see you.

Don't give up hope, Remus. Even though I'm gone, you have strong support system around you. Your family, Cassie, Rose (on a good day), Sirius, James, and Lily are there for you. The Order is there for you. And I will always, always be watching over you.

I love you,

Elizabeth

Harry put the letter back down on the table and slid it back to his ex-Professor. "I'm so sorry, Remus," Harry said finally. He felt that through Sirius and Remus's story, that he had known all of them personally, like they had all been together the day before. "I can't imagine how hard it must have been to lose her."

Remus nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Harry turned back to Sirius, who was looking at his best friend in concern.

"What happened to Cassie?" he asked.

Sirius sighed. "I wish I knew. After your parents were murdered and I knew that Pettigrew was to blame, I told Cassie that I was going to confront him about it. I knew there was a possibility that I may not make it back. I told her that…if that were to happen, I wanted her to take our daughter and hide. I've been looking for two years, ever since I was released from Azkaban. I haven't seen her…or my daughter."

"Do you think she may be at Hogwarts?" Harry asked hopefully, at least for his godfather's sake.

"I wondered the same thing. I thought maybe, by some miracle that Cassie would have let Robyn come to Hogwarts, perhaps under a different alias to keep her identity safe from both the Ministry and the students of Hogwarts. Merlin only knew what kind of torture she would have gone through if it were to come out that she was the daughter of 'the infamous Sirius Black.' But according to Dumbledore, Robyn must have either gone to another Wizarding school or Cassie home schooled her."

"So, you haven't seen your daughter"-

"Since she was one…the same age you were when I had last seen you."

"What happened to Rose?"

"She married Thomas Ransley, and then a couple of years later, they split, and nobody has seen her since." It was Remus who responded this time. "I think never making up with Liz before she left on her assignment ate at her the most. The only reason I know is because Dumbledore had Severus making the Wolfsbane potion for me. He let it slip that it had been a while since he had seen her."

"We lost several people to Voldemort," Sirius continued softly. "But we held onto to our friends and family as long as we could." He looked at Harry with a serious expression. "I know that this year has been rough for you with Umbridge and the Ministry trying to bring you and Dumbledore down. Keep your friends close to you, Harry. You guys will fight – you heard all about our ups and downs – and you'll make up. It's better to fight with them and still have them in your life than push them away and be miserable."

"I found that out first hand," Remus added quietly. "You think you're pushing them away to protect them, but the truth is you want nothing more than for that person to be right by your side the entire time."

Harry fell silent, thinking about how much he had been pushing Ron and Hermione away this past year. And yet, no matter how much he pushed, they stuck by him no matter what. Ron and Hermione were his equivalent to the Marauders and the girls. He needed to start treating them as such.

A group of voices came from upstairs, and Harry could point out Mrs. Weasley yelling at Fred and George over something. He knew it was only a matter of time before one or all of them joined the two Marauders. He stood up, looking at the two former Gryffindors with a sad smile.

"Thanks for telling me about your past, both of you," he said. "And I hope you find Cassie and Robyn, Sirius."

"I hope our past helps you," Remus answered, a small smile also on his face.

"Thanks, Harry," Sirius said. "And…so do I."

Harry gave them one last look before bolting upstairs and seeking out Ron and Hermione. Sirius and Remus both knew that it was only a matter of time before he retold their story to his best friends. Somehow they both knew that Hermione would be the most interested and Ron would ask the same questions that Harry had asked them.

"You okay, Moony?" Sirius finally asked, still looking at his best friend in concern.

Remus had picked up Liz's letter again, running a hand over the now fading ink. "Yeah," he answered. "I'm fine."

"You know if Cassie was here, she would ask if you were lying."

"I know she would. And I would tell her the same answer I just told you."

"Think Harry's learned anything from this?"

Remus sighed. "I hope so, Padfoot. Maybe now he'll realize how important Ron and Hermione actually are to him."

Sirius nodded and fell silent, looking down at the pictures in front of him. Cassie was smiling up at him as she wrapped her arms around his picture self, who looked as smug and happy as ever. If only they could go back and relieve those moments now.

The two Marauders packed the box back up, but Sirius noticed that Remus slid Liz's letter into the pockets of his robes. Mrs. Weasley came down into the kitchen, a few of the other Order members following.

"Harry didn't stay upstairs the entire time we were gone, did he?" Mrs. Weasley asked, noticing that Sirius and Remus were still sitting the same place they'd been when everybody had left several hours ago.

"He actually just went back upstairs, Molly," Sirius said. "I'd say Remus and I almost talked his ears off."

Mrs. Weasley peered into the box between them, noticing the picture of Sirius and Cassie laying on top. It didn't take much for her to realize what their conversation had been about. "How do you think he's holding up? I know he's been off since the night Dumbledore sent the kids home early."

"I think he's going to be okay, Molly," Remus assured. "Recovery is a long process, after all."

Sirius looked at his best friend as Mrs. Weasley nodded and started to prepare dinner. "You really think Harry's going to be okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Remus said, and Sirius had a feeling that the werewolf was talking more to himself than about his godson. "Yeah, I think he is."

The two friends once again put their past behind them as the topic went to how Mr. Weasley was recovering. As they talked, Sirius kept glancing at his best friend, noticing that he seemed a little more relaxed than he had been. Maybe reliving their lives for Harry not only helped him, but Remus as well.

Maybe now he could finally start letting go.

Alas, we've made it to the end. But do not be alarmed, my fellow reviewers…this is not the last that you've seen of the Marauders, Cassie, Rose, and Severus. The sequel will be posted in a couple of days, so keep an eye out. If you don't see a new story by Friday (March 11) then I've been kidnapped by an army of pygmy puffs and have been declared their god. (Note to self: Don't watch American Tail: Fivel Goes West while updating stories.)

Please review, add it to your favorites, and hopefully you'll return for the sequel.