Thick puddles of slush pooled in piles where the edges of the sheets trailed down toward the carpeting. The two watched, astounded, as small chunks slid down the covers with a splash as they made contact. The muted sound broke them out of their stupor, and Tadashi was finally able to drag his gaze away to look at Elsa.
He watched as the expression on her face transformed from stunned surprise to one of utter terror and despair. Her whole body began to tremble, and she slowly began to raise her hands out of the grave of sheets they were buried in, lifting them to her face as though she had never seen them before. They shook with an intensity that suggested physical illness, and she clasped them together to her chest and abruptly jumped out of the bed, eyes trained on the door.
Tadashi rose from the bed with her, standing between her and the exit.
"Let me go, Tadashi," she pleaded, hands twisting in front of her. "I have t-to go back in. N-now." Elsa, usually so poised and well-spoken, had a habit of stuttering when flustered, a trait which Tadashi found endearingly adorable, as it was usually reserved for intimate and sensual occasions or discussing matters regarding the heart, accompanied by a crimson flush across her nose and cheeks. This time, however, he recognized the stammer as a disconnect between the heart and mind, focusing all her dwindling energies left on holding back from an unintentional release.
"Elsa." Tadashi hunched low, arms in front of him in a placating gesture, palms facing his trembling fiancée of only a few months. "It's okay. Everything's alright. No one's hurt. Look," he said, stooping down to scoop some of the slush into his hand. "It's just slush. No ice. Not even snow, Elsa! You let go of everything you had in The Room earlier. It's okay now." He held the melting pile out to her so she could see, but she stumbled back violently from his approaching hand.
"Okay!? You think everything is okay?!" She cried, anger flashing in her face. Still retreating, she backed into the corner of the bedroom with a start, hands now splayed behind her against the walls. Wetness continued to seep from her fingers, beginning its dripping descent and staining the paint in dark rivulets.
"Els," Tadashi sighed, letting the slurry slip through his fingers and running his remaining dry hand through his hair. "Yes, everything is okay. I'm not hurt. You're not hurt. And you're not going to hurt me. You got it all out from before." He paused, testing the weight of the air. "Just relax. Take some deep breaths," he said, mimicking taking one, his arms demonstrating a pronounced inhalation and exhale. When her anxieties resurfaced, or when she found herself in an uncomfortable or triggering situation, Tadashi would look her straight on and imitate the deep breath, prompting her to take the same action and release some of the tension building inside of her. This method worked quite often, but today's events did not result in the same outcome.
"No," she responded, her voice somewhere between a whisper and a whimper. "I thought-" she shook her head vehemently, trying to back further into her corner of the wall but finding she had no room left in which to go- "I th-thought you understood." Her voice broke on the last word, eyes clenched tightly shut and teeth bared in a grimace.
Tadashi felt like he had just been punched; he struggled to regain his breath, winded from what he had just heard. "Elsa, I do understand. I know why you're scared, that you don't want to hurt me. But nothing happened, nothing will happen. I'm here for you," he added at the end, thinking to strengthen her resolve with steadfast support.
"No," she repeated again, this time azure eyes focused intensely on his own. "You don't know that, you- you can't know that. You don't know what this-" she held out her dripping hands to him to make a point- "can turn into." She gave her hands a slight shake to emphasize, but her eyes grew wild in horror as she realized what she had just done and what could have happened as a result. She hastily wrapped them around her naked torso as she had done earlier, moaning in weary despair.
"Alright. Alright," Tadashi said with a sigh, thinking fast for a way to rectify the situation. "Elsa, whatever you want, whatever you need from me, let me give it to you. If you want to go into the other room to let go again, fine. Just please, Elsa, please-" his voice, too, broke- he couldn't endure seeing her so broken and wounded any longer, and himself being so useless, so goddamn incompetent, in comforting her. "We'll stop what we were doing, I don't care- I'll be the happiest man in the world just to lie here next to you. But stay here with me, or let me come with you- don't isolate yourself again- I just-I just need to make you better."
He pleaded with her desperately, praying to any power that would listen to help her see that sequestering herself, detaching herself from her own emotions and those from the people who loved her wasn't the answer. He couldn't stand to see her like this, and for the first time felt grateful that he hadn't known her earlier, when, she had briefly told him, being vague about the details, she had led a harrowing and solitary childhood.
Her face flashed with indignation- it was the wrong thing to say.
"Better?!" She exclaimed, fists now clenched by her sides in obvious fury. He watched as her expression rapidly transformed from one of terror and torment to one of righteous indignation. "You need to make me better?! I'm sorry, Tadashi, I didn't realize- am I too- too wrong, too broken, damaged, too abnormal for you?!"
Her words struck him like a crushing blow to the heart and he nearly had to stop himself from stumbling backwards, her outcry affecting him body and soul. He knew, deep down, that she didn't truly believe in what she had accused; was merely lashing out nonsensically in order to allay even a fragment of the raging emotion verbally rather than in a treacherous tempest. He knew, deep down, not to take it to heart- to let it go. But it hurt. God, it hurt, to hear her say such words, especially as the claim was something which they had discussed- multiple times. What her powers meant for their relationship, the challenges which she, and therefore they would face. He knew well of her insecurities regarding her…singularities. The fear that, despite ones' best intentions, she could never be fully accepted; no one could wholly love every part of her through the good times as well as the bad- because if she couldn't, how could someone else?
He took a deep breath, just as he had instructed her to do earlier, before this night had taken such a turn. But before he could say a single word in response, he noticed something glinting in the periphery of his vision.
He turned back, and froze at the sight before him.
Elsa had her right hand raised to the level of her face, the fingers of her left hand wrapped around her engagement ring, the diamond and the tiny sapphires dotting around it, their gleaming facets winking at him, taunting.
Arms shaking, she began to speak as he froze, watching her actions. "I was wrong, Tadashi. I- I'm sorry-" she choked on a sob. "But we can't do this. I can't let you do this to yourself. You deserve b-better, someone- someone you can hold, whenever you want, and someone who isn't going to be in danger of hurting you if she gets upset. Someone who is just as warm, as safe, as whole as you."
She closed her eyes, and with those words, her fingers grasped the band around her ring finger, and she began to twist at it. "I love you, Tadashi. But you need to give this to someone else."
With a final tug, he watched as she went to pull of the ring.
But it wouldn't budge. It was frozen onto her finger.
Her eyes flew open, aghast yet burning with frustration. He took advantage of her stunned surprise, thrilled for the first time that her powers had acted against her. Heart racing from what had very nearly just happened, he leapt forward and grasped her hands, refusing to let go even when she stumbled back and tried to remove herself from his unyielding grip.
"Don't you ever attempt that again," he growled, giving her hands a small shake. He tried desperately to soften his anger over her actions that had turned him into a sweating, petrified young boy. She looked over at him, eyes frightened by his outburst and looking forlorn and, quite frankly, tired. He released her hands.
"Elsa," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, as she often did when exasperated or tired. "You know that that's not how I feel; not what I meant by that. I'm trying so,"- here he flung out his arms wide- "so hard to help you. But you won't let me in. You won't tell me what happened, you won't let me try to comfort you- how can I help you if you don't let me in?"
Something about his words struck Elsa hard, he noted- he didn't know which of the many had gotten through the wall of ice encasing her current mental state, but suddenly her arms dropped to her sides, her expression unreadable, and she fell to her knees on the floor. His words had apparently freed her control as well- her fingers ceased their trickling and the puddles and wet streams began to fade.
She dropped her head, hands beginning once again their twisting in her lap. "I know. I'm sorry. I know it's not right to you. But I can't." Her expression was pleading with him to understand, her face broken at the confession of her inabilities; her powerlessness ironic in spite of holding so much power.
Tadashi fell to meet her on the floor and slowly, carefully, crept closer until their knees were touching. "You can, Els," he whispered. "I know you can. And you will, someday. I don't care how long it takes. But I will always be right here to help you along the way." He tentatively reached out his hand, fingers outstretched towards hers. She looked on, silent, as he tenderly ran his fingers over her knuckles, lightly brushing the skin.
"Your powers may give you challenges to overcome at times, Elsa," he said…. "but now I know, for certain, that they are a gift. If the ice, if your power, keeps this ring on your finger, I will never be anything but grateful that they are here to stay- that they're a part of you." He brought her hand up to his lips. "Just like your beauty-" he kissed one finger, "your intelligence-" and another, "and your love-" and another- "you're stuck with that ring, and what it represents- and you're stuck with me."
He placed one last kiss on the finger with her engagement ring and winked. "Like it or not."