Boredom and Games

Or

Altogether too cute

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to People who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create.

Rating: PG

Warning: FLUFF! Lots and lots of Fluff!

Part: One of Two

Authoress note: I penned the original for this a long time ago; I have since taken it down to focus more on my slightly more serious fics. But, I have learned that serious fics are all well and good in their place, but so is fun.

To all the Alucard/Seras fans.

Italics are thoughts, metal speak and flashbacks

A Collection of short snippets showing life inside the Hellsing House.

You're it, Master.

Integra sat in her office, paperwork piled neatly next to her, staring at the wall opposite. The ticking of the clock echoed through the room. Integra let out a long breath through her nose.

"He's got to be up to something," she hissed and picked up the phone. "Walter."

"Yes mam," Walter answered briskly.

"Anything tonight?" she asked

"Quiet as the grave," Walter laughed. "You realise every time he is quiet doesn't mean he is up to something."

"Walter," Integra signed. "Five quiet nights and you expect me to believe nothing is wrong? Every time that damn vampire gets bored something ridiculous, painful or completely destructive happens." Integra put the phone down and allowed herself to slump forward. Alucard's silence frightened Integra more than his maniacal pursuits ever had. She allowed herself a small smile, first there had been games, she was young when this first started and her vampire had taken to 'playing' with her, enjoying the company of a child for a change.

The door to her office opened as Walter entered with tea.

"Thank you Walter" she blinked taking a closer look at her Butler. Walter's hair had mostly come untied, the top button on his shirt was missing and his eye-glass was nowhere to be seen. All in all, he looked dishevelled. "Walter are you alright?" she asked concerned

"Yes Sir Integra, as I said, everything is fine" Walter smiled and opened his mouth to say more when a deafening crash sounded in the corridor, the impending sound of something expensive breaking. "Oh dear," the butler breathed. Then suddenly Alucard appeared through the wall, dressed only in trousers and a white shirt, his hair tangled. He appeared running through the wall and continued to run towards Integra, almost tripping over himself as he tried in vain to hide behind her sniggering loudly

"ALUCARD!" Integra bellowed "WHAT IS . . ." but she was interrupted as the doors to her office burst open

"Master you can't hide," Seras yelled in an uncharacteristic display of anger. Alucard peeped over Integra's shoulder before ducking behind her again.

"What on earth is going on?" Integra breathed slumping forward a little now that she realised nothing dire was occurring

"It's your turn to protect me for a change," Alucard smirked next to her ear as Seras advanced. Walter took a wise step back, Alucard moved a little further behind his master. Seras growled lowly in her throat actually sounding like a real vampire for once, Integra raised her eyebrows in surprise. Instantly the anger bled from Seras' features as if only just now realising what she was doing.

"Oh Sir Integra," she blushed furiously. "I'm so sorry!"

"Please just tell me what's going on," Integra asked, not half as mad as she should have been her need for mental stimulus was outweighing her anger.

"Well . . . um . . . you see my master . . ." Seras' eyes turned red again and she looked away from Integra. Alucard was unsuccessfully trying to sneak away. With a snarl from Seras and a wild snigger from Alucard, Seras leapt after him, the neat pile of paperwork went sailing onto the floor and the desk was nearly upturned as she did so, running through the doorway as her master escaped through a wall.

The cry of "stop doing that Master," echoed through the mansion.

"Walter . . . do I want to know what he did to make her that mad," Integra asked.

"It's nothing serious," Walter smiled. "I think Alucard has been . . . playing with her." Walter shook his head a little. A cry from outside made both Leader and Butler stand and move to the window.

Seras had pursued her master out into the gardens where the men were running drills. With a cry of rage Seras lurched forward and actually rugby tackled her master. Arms wrapped around his legs, Alucard fell to the ground with a thump.

They lay there for a moment, Alucard sniggering quietly. It was then a single clapping sound was heard, Pip stood clapping, slowly the men joined in, with the occasional cry of "way to go Seras", "about time someone did that" and, of course, laughter. Alucard had lifted himself so he lay on his front resting on his elbows still smirking. Seras was blushing furiously.

Slowly she clambered to her feet, brushing her clothes down before smirking a little and taking a bow to the still applauding men. She spun on her heels and looked at her master who was still sprawled on the grass

"You're it Master" she smiled before bolting away, the ebony haired vampire in close pursuit.

Snow Fall

Snow was falling, it grew heavier as the day grew older, and by the early evening the thick layer of white covered the ground. Walter muttered bitterly under his breath as he finished making Sir Integra's evening meal.

"Damn cold," he grumbled lifting the tray. He glanced out the window again, Alucard would be happy, the scene outside was no mountainous Romania, but it was the closest thing the vampire would get.

He entered Integra's office, she was stood by the window, and she turned to look at him, as he entered.

"Evening Walter," she said coming to sit at her chair

"Is everything alright Sir?" Walter asked putting the steaming tray in front of her.

"Yes, of course, it is," she lifted a fork before putting it down again. "Well no, actually," she snorted. "This damned quiet had gotten me so out of sorts that I'm reduced to watching the men practice." She slumped forward on her elbows.

"The long quiet has been a little unnerving," Walter agreed.

"I found myself wishing that Alucard would do something well..." Integra trailed off.

"Destructive or chaotic?" Walter asked.

"It doesn't matter" Integra lifted the fork and stabbed a piece of beef menacingly with it. "But his being quiet has me more nervous than anything that the round table could ever manage."

Walter sighed and smiled a little, what Integra said was slightly over dramatic but true.

Pip Bernadette was beginning to hate his job, not the violent side of it mind you killing vampires, fighting Nazis, slaughtering ghouls none of this bothered him, it was this forsaken silence that they now endured, it was driving him mad. And now this good for nothing snow had fallen and had him and his men freezing body parts off. He lifted his thermos flask and took a long swallow of coffee, feeling the heated pool in his stomach and the caffeine zip into his blood stream.

He turned to look at his men all crouched and cold, and then turned his glare at the vampire who stood a little way off.

"Here we are in thick coats and scarves and still cold and there she is in short tops, short skirts still acting like it's the middle of summer," Pip growled.

"Sir?" Raoul, one of his men asked.

"She has to look so cocky about it. We're lumbering along with thick coats, heavy weapons, and she skips along."

"Jealousy is unbecoming sir," Raoul sighed. Pip grinned as he was struck with an idea, one that would hopefully make the vampire just as cold as the rest of them.

"Oops," Pip said loudly as he watched his gun slide over the half-frozen lake. "Oh dear, now what?" he was silent for a moment then "Seras?"

"Captain," Raoul said rolling his eyes.

"Yes, captain?" Seras beamed.

"My gun," Pip pointed, "you're so agile could you get it for me?"

"Really," Sears eyed the gun sitting out on the frozen lake. "Um..."

"We can be as light as we wish," Pip smirked. "We can do whatever we wish."

"Please don't quote my master," Seras muttered and put a foot out on the ice. "Light," Seras hissed to herself stepping out further. She kept her breath slow and steady, feeling the ice under her, and imagining herself lighter with every exhale. Reaching for the gun and she grabbed it. "I am lighter than air, the ice will not break, it will not break, I am light as air," she clamped her eyes shut in concentration as she made her way back.

It was then the snowball hit her hard. With a surprised yelp, Seras' concentration broke and so did the ice. Gasping Seras surfaced, the water was freezing it robbed her of her breath and her skin turned numb instantly.

"Nice going Seras," Pip yelled across the lake. She winced she could hear the men laughing at her, all of them.

"I think you should stay inside until you're able to stand on your own two feet," Pip sneered as she clambered out of the water and threw his gun at his feet. Seras growled lowly in her throat, but it died quickly, anger bled away into embarrassment, standing quickly she bolted inside the mansion.

Watching the retreating figure of Seras Pip suddenly felt guilty.

"What's wrong police, girl?" Alucard's voice arrived a few second before he did; sinking down from the ceiling a clump of wet snow fell from his hair.

"Nothing," she grumbled and stomped down the hall.

"You're a terrible liar Police girl," he grinned widely reaching down from the ceiling to brush some ice from his child's hair "why so sluggish?"

"Why so perky?" she snapped not answering, Alucard looked surprised then the smile returned.

"It's been snowing." he said simply as if it explained everything.

"And?" Seras asked Alucard shrugged, coming down from the ceiling completely and walking around behind her, there was silence from a few moments and Seras felt him flick more frozen ice from the back of her hair along with a warm sensation moving through her mind,

"Oh, it was the Captain," Alucard whispered reading his child's thoughts.

"It's nothing really," Seras muttered, rubbing the ice from her eyebrows. She heard he master snigger lightly behind her.

"How about we repay him, nothing brutal, just a little joke," Alucard smirked leaning down over his child from behind, she watched as long black hair brushed the table in front of her, reaching out she flicked a bit away, wondering briefly why it was as wet as her own, surely her master hadn't taken a dip in the lake as well.

"No," she muttered, having to bite her own tongue to keep her from saying yes.

"Why not police girl?" Alucard managed to look a little hurt at her declination to play with him. Seras sighed, Alucard drew away from behind her and walked around to her side, leaning down to be eye level with her.

"Because what you call a joke and what I call a joke are two very, very, very different things my master," she looked away from him. Alucard was quiet for a moment, ember coloured eyes watching her carefully.

"Alright then," Alucard smirked eventually. Seras looked back at him, why did he sound happy again, her vision was cut off suddenly by a damp hat.

"Master?" she asked, confused why her master had suddenly put his hat on her head, it was far too big for her and fell down over her eyes.

"You get to be in charge police girl," he smirked. "If you say no I might back down"

"Might?" Seras asked

"Well..." Alucard muttered shrugging.

"You're a terrible liar master," Seras sighed. "But," she said, "I cannot refuse."

From a high point Alucard watched.

"Seras," Pip smirked as Seras approached the group.

"Decided to show your face again huh?" He paused, "why are you wearing that?" He pointed to Alucard's hat which had once again fallen down over her eyes. Seras shrugged and pushed the wet hat up returning her ability to see. Drawing herself up she tried in vain to look sophisticated.

"I said calm Police girl, no need to puff up like a blowfish now is there," Alucard purred in her mind and Seras deflated fighting the urge to turn around and glare at her master.

"Seras?" Pip's hand suddenly appeared an inch from her nose. "Wake up, rise and shine."

"Um yes, captain," Seras tried once again to look in control. "I have decided to be the more immature of the two of us." Seras stammered

"Mature police girl," Alucard corrected.

"Mature of us," Seras corrected herself.

"You mean you're not mad?" Pip asked.

"No, Captain I am not mad." Seras forced a smile that actually appeared genuine, reaching forward she took Pip's arm, pushing the great red hat further up her head once again, she started to walk towards the mansion.

"Seriously?" Pip seemed quite bewildered by her apparent forgiveness.

"Yes, in fact, I have a present for you," Seras hissed as the hat fell down again, strangely enough, Pip was the one who pushed it up for her.

"I saw him earlier," Pip smiled, reaching into a pocket for a cigarette. "Your master I mean, he was all wet, covered in snow, like he'd been rolling in it."

"Yes," Seras briefly wondered again why her master was soaking wet; surely he hadn't literally rolled in the snow had he? Oddly enough she wouldn't put it past him, a mental image flashed through her mind briefly,

"So where is Alucard," Integra asked.

"I think he's on the roof sir Hellsing," Walter said flatly.

"Two against one is frightfully unfair," Integra shook her head, "don't you agree Walter."

"Indeed, mam," Walter muttered smirking.

"Especially when those two have supernatural abilities," Integra smiled, Walter blinked he hadn't seen that expression on the Master's face since she was little. It made him happy to see she hadn't lost the ability to smile like that.

"I'd say two vampires would be worth about three humans," Walter smiled.

"At the very least," Integra nodded before turning and marching out of the room, her butler at her heal.

Seras smirked as she spotted her master dart from behind one chimney, dashing behind another. She had to prevent herself from giggling, from down here you could almost imagine him as a demonic and thinner version of Santa, minus the reindeer and the sledge and the sack of toys. She snorted quietly suddenly remembering the film 'Nightmare before Christmas' when Jack skeleton had decided he would deliver Xmas this year in place of Santa, his gifts had been unique, shrunken heads and giant snakes to name a few. She wondered briefly if Alucard would leave body parts under Xmas trees. Would he sing like Jack?

"I am the one hiding under your stairs," Alucard's voice sniggered in a sing-song fashion in her mind. "Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair"

"This is Halloween, This is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween," Seras giggled, Pip raised an eyebrow in question and Seras blushed.

"What are you humming Seras?" Pip asked suddenly.

"We really should sort through this attic," Walter grumbled, pushing an old box out of the way.

"I think you have enough jobs, Walter," Integra mumbled pushing a cobweb out from her hair. "Where is that damn window anyway?"

"I never understood why Hellsing had an attic window," Walter looked around in the dull light. "But strangely I doubt this was the reason why." The two continued to clamber over boxes, avoid cobwebs and kill spiders where they were found. The allusive window was proving to live up to its name.

"I never realised there was so much space up here," Integra mumbled "why we could..." she was interrupted

"Found it!" Walter cried joyfully, pushing on the glass, the snow covering it shifted. Outside Alucard froze, wondering briefly why the roof was moving.

"It's bloody heavy, excuse my language, Sir Hellsing," Walter heaved against the glass which creaked loudly.

"He's going to hear you, Walter," Integra shushed.

"Sorry sir," Walter gave the glass one final push and it gave way, the window came open and a loud yelp sounded along with a thump.

A loud thump echoed behind her and Seras gasped and turned glancing up at the rooftop of the mansion, Pip remained oblivious, never before had Seras been so grateful that human hearing was so useless. She bit her lip, as she watched her master roll down the slanted rooftop, come sliding off the edge and only say up there due to one hand grabbing the gutter rail.

"Oops," Walter muttered closing the window.

"Shouldn't have been on the roof anyway, stupid vampire," Integra huffed.

The gutter railing creaked noisily as Seras continued to lead the unknowing Pip towards the house.

"So what's this gift," Pip asked leering at the young vampire.

"Oh it's a surprise, a winter surprise," she smiled "something shocking,"

Alucard ungracefully managed to haul himself up onto the roof and clamber back up to the peak, the snow here was lose and Pip was right in position, suddenly a lump of cold wet slush hit him square in the back. Turning he spotted a window shutting, rolling his eyes he turned back to the waiting avalanche and Pip the unwitting victim. It would take more than snowballs to stop him. Another one struck him.

Emitting a low growl, he hurled a lump of the wet snow back at the closed window, knowing it wouldn't do any good, but it felt good. Glancing back at Pip, sniggering quietly as his fledgling tried to keep the captain in position, he jumped hard. The roof shook, tremors strong enough to shake the loose snow free, sending it on a one-way trip down onto Pip.

Pip blinked as a fragment of snow landed on his shoulder, sighing he looked up, the pile of snow hurtling towards him took his full attention so much so he barely heard the cry of "Surprise captain!" From Seras. He yelped, but it was cut short as he was buried under the entire roofs contents of snow and ice. Seras paused a moment then let out a delighted whoop before actually performing a little jig of victory

"I won, I won oh yes I won," she sang, "in your face, Captain." A yelp from above her caused her to dodge out of the way as Alucard hurtled down off the roof failing to grab hold of the gutter this time and landing butt first in three inches of snow. Seras sniggered, the back of his head was covered in snow, and apparently he'd been hit with the stuff.

"Damn, Walter," he grumbled before sinking into a black pool.

A few moments later Pip had clambered from the mini-avalanche and Integra and Walter now stood in the gardens with them, surprisingly Integra was chuckling.

"First time I've ever seen him look even remotely surprised," she smiled. "Good aim, Walter."

"Thank you," Walter dipped his head; a low crunching of footsteps was heard as someone approached.

"Oh now that's just silly," Integra snapped as Alucard made his re-appearance, arms wrapped around a lump of snow almost as big as he was. He peered over the top, locked eyes with his master briefly before raising his eyebrows.

"Revenge my master," Alucard sneered.

"You wouldn't," Integra gasped realising quite suddenly that he would, "oh no! It's not my fault you fell off the damn roof." Alucard shrugged as best he could when holding the giant 'snowball' and lifted it to throw, Integra glared at her vampire hoping he would back down, when shockingly Walter barrelled into the vampire's back, knocking him off balance once again.

The 'snowball' fell apart over the both of them.

Walter almost purred.

The crisp blanket was soft on his now dry skin, the cup of warm tea was warming him inside and the fire was filling the room with the scent of warmth in winter.

"Are you sure your alright, Walter," Integra asked.

"I could get more tea," Seras offered, feeling guilty that Walter had gotten soaked by snow because of her petty revenge; Pip who was too embarrassed to join them was drying off in the bunkers.

"I'm fine," Walter smiled. "Although I think that is the last snow fight for quite a while."

"Oh," the disappointed voice of Alucard sounded behind the three as the master vampire dropped gracefully from the ceiling. "And I so enjoyed our little battle angel."

"You're dripping on the carpet, Alucard," Integra grumbled, Alucard sighed.

"Why does Angel get tea and blankets when all I get is 'your dripping on the carpet'?"

"Walter was brave," Seras spoke up. "You were attacking me."

"With snow," Alucard's head tilted to the side, his smile widened and his eyes were disbelieving.

"Still attacking," Integra muttered.

"I was making you," he pointed at Seras, "feel better," Seras laughed. "See you laughed." Seras smiled

"Yes," she looked up at Alucard. "Thank you, master."

End

Thank you for reading, please review, I'd love to hear what you think of the fic.

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My first Novel, Grey Wings has now been released!

GREY WINGS

Jason is stranded in a dark city, and is in desperate need of help when he has no idea how he will get home.

So, when he collides with Aurelius, an Angel only in the mildest sense of the word – who has committed a crime worthy of great punishment, but has been handed a rare chance at redemption – Jason can see a way home.

However, their journey will be hampered by Fallen Angels, Earth Spirits, and Griffons – and none can say if everyone will make it home.