I don't own Ao Haru Ride, neither the characters... guess we all know that.

I guess the fanfic gets better when you're listening to the song "I will", so try to put it on while reading.

Hope you enjoy :D


"Kou, I like you" No. Don't do this with me Yoshioka.

I can't handle it. I can't accept your feelings. Not right now. Please, just wait a little longer. Don't confess. Don't make me reject you. I love you. I love you with all my heart. I loved you when I met you – the young and shy girl – and I love you now – the brave and loud woman. You have no idea how much I would like to hug you, kiss every part of you and make you laugh every fucking day of my life… But I can't right now.

"So, I came here to get rejected properly. To end this, so I can move forward" I don't want you to move forward. I don't want you to be with anyone but me. I don't want to reject you. I want to say how much I love you. How much I love your big brown eyes, your cute and determined face, your smile… but I can't do that right now, so please, don't do this to me.

"To make me convinced of this broken heart, I want to be rejected properly." Do you even understand how much I am holding myself to not hug you? To not dry the tears that are starting to appear in your face? To not kiss you to make the pain go away? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO ME, YOSHIOKA? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY DO YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU SO MUCH? Why things are never easy between us?

"Yes" I know the words are getting out of my mouth, but I just don't want to listen to them. I don't want you to listen to them. "I can't go out with Yoshioka".

Don't look down. Don't cry. Please. I won't be able to handle it if you cry. But also, don't smile. Don't lie to me.

"Haaah, so… this is the end!" I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE THE END! DON'T SAY THAT! DON'T LIE TO ME ACTING LIKE YOU'RE FINE! Just… I don't know what to do… but guess you don't know either, right?

"Thank you. With this, we're already just classmates" I don't want to be just your classmate. I want to be your everything. I want to be your best friend, I want to be your partner… I want to be your boyfriend. I want to be the one who makes you happy. I want to see that face again. That face that you did when we were playing. That face that you did just for me. But… I can't, right? I made my choice, and you did yours.

"I will still talk to you from now on" YOSHIOKA! WAIT! DON'T GO AWAY! STAY HERE! LISTEN TO ME! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU… Just… don't leave me. Don't move on. Don't cry. Don't smile… don't do anything… just stay here, with me. Let me love you…

Of course you won't. I rejected you. You don't know I love you. You will move forward. You will forget that feeling about me. I lost you, right? I lost you… and I know why I lost you. Because of that damn phone, that is ringing right now… guess to remember me why I said that damn words. I don't want to hear it anymore. I want that fucking phone to explode. I want it to burn in hell… I want to…

Well, at last it stopped ringing. Guess I will have to buy a new one someday. But today, just for today, I want to be alone. I don't want to be with anyone but you today, Yoshioka.

I'm sorry for that… Yoshioka.