A/N: Can this fic have a TvTropes page now? Okay, okay, I give. The reason Sugu and Kazu are so close is because Suguha is secretly a lesbian and Kazuto's the only one who knows. He's her wingman, and the reason she was so depressed to lose him is because now she can't pick up chicks. It's totally not because they secretly fuck at night to relieve tension.

That's not it at all.

Would I lie to you?

….

Living Outside the Database

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 5: Obviously, It's All Soujiro's Fault!

Disclaimer: Log Horizon and Sword Art Online are both antithetical to each other and combining them should go like matter and anti-matter. I like blowing things up. Hence why I'm doing this. Also, I own neither series. So, does anyone know a Memory Defrag prism cheat site that works?

….

Another Heroic Interlude

Lizbeth had never had to camp in the hostile, mob-infested woods during her whole say in Aincrad. Sure, there had been that thing with the ice dragon and the dragon shit materials for Kirito's sword, but that didn't count since there hadn't been any trees around when it had happened. When it had become obvious they wouldn't be getting to Shibuya on the first day, she had assumed they'd be turning around and going back to Akiba to think of plan B.

In hindsight, she should have realized Kirito had bought a tent for a reason.

"Are you fucking insane?-!" Sinon demanded after Kirito told them of his brilliant plan to camp out in the woods. "Everything out here is our level or higher! There could be field bosses out there! Random wandering super boss encounters! It could rain! What if it rains?-!"

Leafa and Lizbeth had both nodded emphatically, satisfied with having Sinon be the one hurling abuse.

"So… you're cool with marching on the rest of the night?" Kirito said, sounding bizarrely hopeful.

"NO!-!-!-!-!" the three other girls chorused.

"Papa," Yui called from the bush she'd taken refuge in, "how do you use toilet paper again?"

Yelling at Kirito was briefly interrupted as he logged in his necessary fatherhood hours. Thankfully, Yui had ask before and not after usage had been necessary.

"Kirito, how are we supposed to sleep out here?" Lizbeth asked more reasonably after Yui had gotten rid of her latest unbalanced, overpowered debuff. "If we draw aggro in our sleep we're mob bait!"

"We sleep in shifts, of course," Kirito said as if they were hardened soldiers who hadn't been marching all day. "I'll even take the first watch so you girls can get some sleep first."

The girls paused, and had this been a manga, they'd have all shared a thought bubble. A chibi-Kirito sat next to a chibi campfire and a sleeping chibi-Yui. They already knew that Yui would NOT be on any watch shifts. That meant the three of them would be doing shifts. The girls all divided the number of shifts with the number of non-Yui people who will be keeping watch and came to the same predictable conclusion.

"I'LL TAKE FIRST WATCH WITH YOU!" all three girls said.

….

Convenient Convo Log

In another medium, there would be a montage of some sort. A lot of slowly panning image stills of all the characters in the middle of obviously needful work or traveling, with maybe a fanservice shot and a shot of someone napping thrown in for pathos, would track across the screen, letting the animators save time and money as either instrumental background music or an appropriately thematic monologue or exposition about, say, the new status quo after some time has passed played out. If it were an American production, it would be a close-up of clock hands spinning, sand flowing down an hourglass, pages flying off a calendar, the sun and moon quickly running across the sky, or some combination of the above.

Because this story has even cheaper production values than that, all you get are the words 'Time passed…' in italics, like so:

Time passed…

Eventually, even Akihabara residents couldn't keep up perfectly normal Akihabara behavior forever, and after the initial spates of molestation, retaliation, and other assorted social upheaval excitement, everything more or less calmed down to a level best described as 'everyone has run out of bullets and wants to take a nap, so unofficially they'll be no shooting for a while'. Molesters stopped molesting and avengers stopped avenging, while small guilds, its members feeling insecure and unprotected, got smaller and large guilds, with lots of resources and members that looked really safe, got larger. Other guilds began recruiting extensively. PKing outside town became a thing.

In this way, life moved on.

….

The Guilds of Akiba

The guilds of Akihabara, to a cynic, might be said to bear a resemblance to gangs. It might even, to a historically-inclined cynic, be said to resemble the gangs of old Chicago, with their legendary pinstriped suits, fedoras and tommy guns.

This was patently not true. Pinstriped suits and fedoras had horrible stats, and there were no tommy gun drops anywhere.

They also did not charge protection money, nor provide essential services like garbage pickup. Said historically-inclined cynic would have only one point of comparison to draw on: the guilds, for better or worse (and the cynic would probably have a lot to say on that) provided order. There were no laws besides 'don't draw the attention of the [Royal Guard]', and even it was only a strongly-recommended guideline. There were no leaders besides the guild leaders, and only to their own guilds. There were no stupid calls for elections, because really, that shit was nothing but trouble. What were they, a Miner's Union stuck in the Early Modern Era?

There was, however, order. It was a very simple but effective order. Screw with us, the guilds said, and they'll be hell to pay. Screw with one of the smaller guilds with us, there will also be hell to pay. Screw with a guild with someone we know in it, and if we feel like helping them, more hell to pay. Do something we don't like when we happen to be around and outnumber you, see the preceding trend. The [hell to pay] system of maintenance of public order was at the center of all such systems, with Akihabara merely reverting to the most simple and ancient form of the social contract.

There were the obvious problems with this, but those in big guilds didn't have this problem and thus didn't care, and if those people in small guilds found it problematic, then join a big guild, why don't you?

Thus the nosedive that Akihabara seemed destined for in the first days was arrested to a mere deathspiral. The destinations were the same, as were the results, but the latter took longer to happen, and you had more time to delude yourself about it.

And if the stars aligned and you were really lucky, you might be able to pull out of it eventually.

….

He Will Be Defeated By Kamen Rider Den-O

Soujiro Seta was a perfectly ordinary harem lead main character type, of the sort you could find anywhere, only significantly less annoying. He was not the kind of annoying person that believed all problems can be solved by punching it with your right hand and unilaterally imposing your egocentric beliefs on others who had a right to their own morality. He was not the kind of moron so dense you could use him as radiation shielding, nor the kind so loud you felt a perpetual need to stab out your own eardrums. He was not a pervert, obsessed with his sister, a nihilist, an misanthrope, obsessed with making a VN based on a random encounter with a girl's hat drifting in the wind, or the sort to perpetuate an abusive relationship with a girl that sounds like Kugimiya Rie, no matter how flat and loli they were. He is, in fact, the kind of person who wouldn't be allowed anywhere near the position of 'main character' in the 21st century, since he lacked marketable angst. The nineties, maybe, but definitely nothing past the year 2000.

He is also, surprisingly, not a crossover character based on someone from Rurouni Kenshin, but rather an actual canon Log Horizon character (because apparently some people don't consider Minori, Touya and Isuzu to be either canonical or characters for some reason). A former member of the group known as the Debauchery Tea Party (who did not actually engage in debauchery nor use tea in any significant capacity), he– wait, why am I telling you all this? Go watch the anime, or maybe read the novels. Go on, I'll wait.

(waits around. Scribbles concept for an SAO fic where Suguha's a lesbian and she and Kazuto team up in SAO as the Harem Aura pair)

Done? Okay back to the story proper.

Since whatever had happened, happened, Soujiro and his guildmates had been rather busy. When he'd heard of the [Molestation Loophole] and how so many women were being attacked, as a man (even who was maybe possibly secretly be a chauvinist internet nice guy), he'd been outraged, a feeling shared by his mostly-female guildmates (and they really weren't sure they shouldn't add Dolce to that. Crossplaying the opposite gender was an old and honored institution in games, but… yeah) as they took to the streets for some old-fashioned vigilante justice. It was such that they were even willing to temporarily cease hostilities with their hated rivals the East Breeze Wanderers. A loose coalition of mostly female guilds (guilds whose membership consisted mostly of females, with the usual question mark regarding people crossplaying) had come together to remind people how that was unacceptable behavior.

It was during that time that he began hearing rumors about the Black Swordsman.

"The Black Swordsman?" he said, brows knitting. "Hold on, are we talking about a fashion choice or skin color here?" After that American president and the one who came after him, the jokes had kind of gotten... obvious.

Berserker Krusty pushed up his glasses. "Fashion choice, in this instance," he said. "My guild have been seeing and hearing a lot of him lately. A few days ago he sent an entire guild to the Cathedral."

Soujiro frowned. "Which one?" he asked.

There was distaste on Krusty's voice. "Hamelin. They're really pissed about it, but they're keeping it quiet. They don't want anyone to know they were holding kids prisoner and extorting [Exp Potions] from them, not to mention using them as forced labor." He looked aside. "In hindsight, it should have sounded suspicious when I heard they were offering the potions for sale to combat guilds. Details are sketchy, since no one wants to talk to Hamelin, and Hamelin doesn't want to talk to anyone, but witnesses say they were ambushed while they had the kids out."

"Ambushed? So this Black Swordsman had companions?" Soujiro said.

"He had several female players with him, but he was the one who performed the actual attack. The others were just a distraction," Krusty said, smirking slightly. "I immediately thought of you. I figured you'd want to know if there was a potential new harem guild in the city."

'We are not a harem guild!"

….

Welcome To The (Not A Harem) Guild!

Were she to hear this sentiment, Kuro, aka Kashiwazaka Hiyori, would have womanfully protested that description with equal vehemence, and about as much effectiveness.

After their daring rescue of the children imprisoned by Hamelin (and she had to give them a little credit for picking a name that was practically waving a flag announcing their evil intentions to the world), they had needed to move. The ruin they initially settled in was already cramped with all the other girls who had joined them. With the children their numbers had more than doubled, making a new location absolutely necessary.

So they had moved. It hadn't been that hard. There were a lot of abandoned ruins in Akihabara that were obviously habitable with only a cursory inspection. It hadn't taken long to find one that would fit all of them. A few had been picked up by friends from other guilds, but most had stayed, since where else did they have to go? Some other random guild off the street? No, best to stay with the guild who had liberated them from durance vile (whoever that was) for no reason other than they had seen their suffering, and had chosen to do what was right, the guild led by really cool onii-chan who had personally led the attack against Hamelin, singlehandedly fighting off adventurers much stronger than him to give them a chance to escape, the guild with the nice onii-chan with the even nicer onee-sans who had saved them?

It wasn't even a choice.

The new ruins had been at the edge of the safe zone, away from the usual population centers. They'd picked it because there was only one way to get at it from the ground and its roof had been higher than the surrounding buildings, letting them see any potential roof-hoppers. The ruins had been… well, ruined, but with several people working on them, they'd quickly managed to get them to something approaching habitable. The children had been enthusiastic in helping, one or the other claiming some particular spot or room as theirs. The others let them. It was a small enough concession. In their time in Hamelin, the new players, children who were just getting into the game for the first time, they'd been stripped of their potions and most consumable items. The only reason they still had their gear was so they could have something to farm with, and only because the members of Hamelin were too high-level to find their equipment desirable. Letting them pick where they wanted to sleep was a small thing to regain, but it made them happy.

Sleeping bags had been bought by the nice onee-sans who had more money than they really needed, one for everyone. For some bizarre and completely unknowable but surely innocent reason, Kuro's sleeping bag was a double, the kind that could fit two people if they were feeling very friendly. There'd been a bit confused by that, before it was realized they could fold it in half for added cushioning, making it a bit more comfortable when one lay down. Kuro had smiled brightly and given a general nod of thanks before turning and going to put it were they'd planned to sleep.

Since their back was turned, they didn't notice the blushes that ensued from their taking possession of the [Lovers' Sleeping Bag, especially from those who thought they'd been the target of the nod in particular.

Things had been nicely comfortable after their move. That lasted until lunch, when Erischris had gone back to their old base because she forgot something and came back leading a crowd of people.

"Hey, where's the boss?" Erischris said as she came through the door and saw everyone almost finished eating.

"He went out," AquA the cleric said. "Something about looking for someone who sells toilet paper."

Everyone nodded vehemently at this. With a healthy fruits and vegetables diet, toilet paper was an issue. Other things were an issue as well, but toilet paper was a more immediate one.

"Erischris-san," Minori said, feeling that as the most senior girl there she had to be the responsible one, "why is there a crowd behind you?"

Erischris jerked a thumb at the people behind her. "They followed me home. Can we keep them?"

"That's a very cliché joke, Erischris," Megum1n said, staring about at the people behind her. There were over a dozen people there, mostly women, though they spotted three men in the back. "Weren't you supposed to make sure you weren't followed?"

"Relax, they're not Hamelin or anything. I found them waiting around our old place looking for 'Black Swordsman-sama'," Erischris said.

"People looking for 'Black Swordsman-sama' is exactly why Kuro-san didn't want you to be followed," Minori said. There were people behind the crowd that seemed to have followed them, and from the way one stood to wait after talking to someone in the rear, they were here for the same reason. "Erischris-san, who are these people?"

Erischris looked over her shoulder. "They want to join."

"Yes, I got that Erischris," Minori said, trying to sound stern and in charge and the senior-most person. "Why do they want to join? We're not a guild. Kuro-san had repeatedly pointed that out.

"Only technically," Erischris said. "And they want to join they because they feel they'll be safe with us. Apparently they have this crazy idea they'll be safer with the guy who ran all over the city like a knight in shining armor saving women in distress than a guild who didn't give a damn. Some of them are people we rescued but ran away afterwards. Scared, I guess."

"'Some', you say," Megum1n said. "The others?"

"They want in on any more running around saving women like a knight in shining armor," Erischris said.

"We're not the kind of guild. We are not, in fact, any kind of guild at all," Minori insisted.

"And if the guys are just here to pick up women by rescuing them, then they have sixty seconds to get out of my sight," Megum1n said darkly, tapping her staff and looking like she was choosing which spell to unleash hell with.

"Actually, it's the women who want to do that," Erischris said. "I can't say for sure whether or not it's for the same reason though. One of those guys is here looking for his little brother, and the other two want to challenge the boss to a duel because they heard he was good." She paused a moment, then lowered her voice and leaned a little closer. "Look, I know how Kuro-sama feels about having more people but between you and me, if we're watching out for those kids like Kuro-sama is obviously going to, we'll need more people. I worked as a kindergarten teaching assistant last year for course credits, and I'm telling you right now, if we don't outnumber those little monsters we're going to go crazy and try to murder them."

"They're not that young," Minori said, mildly outraged on behalf of her fellow new players, but as she said it she recalled the kindergarten she used to pass by on her way to and from school, and how at the end of the day the teachers who worked there always bore a distinct resemblance to someone who'd just been repeatedly thrown off a cliff.

Some of the older people were obviously more swayed by Erischris's argument. "Why don't we just, you know, sort of give them a preliminary interview?" Lalatina the guardian suggested. "Make sure they don't have any ill intentions like, er, kidnapping the children or getting revenge on Kuro-sama!"

"Or stealing our man," Mamika the kannagi said brightly.

There was a lot of coughing, blushing and innocent not-meeting-anyone's-gazes.

All the boys among the new players, Touya included, exchanged glances and avoided meeting anyone's eyes, trying by sheer force of will to gain access to the [Tracker] [Subclass] [Hide] skill and not be noticed, lest the girls realize they'd overheard that last and do horrible things to them.

By the time Kuro had gotten back from buying toilet paper for everyone, the size of their group had doubled again.

That had been days ago. Today, on the day Krusty and Soujiro were talking about them, they'd had to move again to a different ruin.

….

This Is The Heroic Interlude. You Killed Its Father. Prepare To Die.

In Sword Art Online, whenever you met someone you didn't know out in the dungeons and field zones, the common sense was to keep one hand on your weapon, not turn your back to each other, and be watchful for an ambush. This usually lasted only until your two groups (because people traveled in parties, of course. Only that crazy loner the Beater went everywhere all by himself) talked, settled things, and agreed to stay out of each other's way. This was unless the other group was actively sporting orange markers, in which case you drew weapons and made sure no one was coming up behind you. After all, the other group could be Laughing Coffin, scammers, Laughing Coffin, kill-stealers, Laughing Coffin, drawing you into an ambush, or Laughing Coffin.

So when a refreshed Yui, a slightly drowsy Kirito, and an annoyed Lizbeth, Sinon and Leafa (apparently, they were to take the shifts alone so everyone could get more sleep), saw a group of people coming from the way they were going, they all naturally reached for their weapons. "Halt!" Leafa cried. "Who goes there?"

Everyone took a moment to blink at that.

"Did you seriously just say that?" the knight-type in the lead of the other group said.

"'Halt, who goes there'?" Sinon agreed. "What are you, an easily killed extra in an infiltration scene?"

"I was thinking monster food in a horror movie," the girl-mage next to the knight-type said. For some bizarre reason, she had on a headpiece and mantle that made her look like a koala. "You know, the guard that hears a strange sound in the dark, only to get eaten?"

"Auntie, what kind of death flags are you trying to raise?" Yui asked, eyeing the woods around them like she expected a field boss to pop up out of nowhere.

Leafa gave them all an annoyed glare, even Yui. "Oh, and what should I have said? 'Hello'? 'Hi, how are you'? 'Fancy meeting you here'? 'What's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this'? 'Well met, faire traveler'?"

"Why were half of those pickup lines?" koala-girl said.

"Suspicious," Lizbeth said, nodding.

They needed the other group's help to keep Leafa from strangling Liz.

"So you're all from Shibuya?" Kirito said once Yui had managed to shame Leafa into not strangling Liz.

The guardian, who introduced himself as Gudao, nodded. "Yeah. Had to leave though. Without a guild hall or bank, there's not much point in staying. The whole city's been taken over by some guild too, and they run the place like Nazi Germany. I mean, sure they stopped people from fighting, but they send anyone who makes trouble to the cathedral, which is a prison now. If you go in, you're not getting out unless they let you."

"There are a lot of people behind us," koala-girl said. It turned out that actually was her name, no-caps and all. "A big bunch of people joined up with them, but most of us left because we couldn't stand it."

Yui looked tearful at this, and turned to Kirito. "Papa, will mama be all right?" she asked.

Kirito patted her on the head comfortingly. "I'm sure she is," he said. "If some yakuza-wannabes thinking they can make themselves bigshots or something make trouble for your mother, she'll make them eat their own equipment. Just watch, when we get there I'm sure she'll end up running the place."

Gudao, koala-girl and the rest of their party looked extremely doubtful at this, but let it slide, understanding it fell under the category of 'lies to children' and thus none of their business.

Lizbeth, Leafa and Sinon exchanged worried looks, not liking the sound of Shibuya. Still, Asuna was their friend, man-stealing and brother-snatching aside. This just meant she'd really owe them when they came in to help rescue her.

If she was still alive. Fortunately, this guild didn't seem to be executing people.

….

Asuna Ended Up Running The Place

After several days of considered thought, ruminating, and finally getting the chef subclass, Asuna came to the conclusion that whoever was running this new deathgame was a twisted sadist that made Kayaba look like a saint. It was like someone had looked at Sword Art Online and thought about every way they could possibly make everyone suffer even more, mentally and physically. Realistic hunger and… what happens after you eat, full pain sensitivity… Asuna had the sneaking suspicion if this lasted a month she was going to have a visitor.

Memories of SAO were becoming recalled with fondness.

After that big fight, she had needed to get over the fact that her actions had led to several people (and Kibaouu) getting killed. Thing like that needed time, however, and she had many things to deal with, chief among them getting some sort of organizational scheme together for the fuckton of new, formerly SAO-veteran recruits that had just shown up at her door.

Step one in the organizational scheme: kill Fuurinkazan

"Klein," she said, nodding to him. "Dale. Kunimittz. Dynamm. Issin. Harry One. Wasabi. Baymax. Tamagogo. Honey Lemon. I have a proposition for you."

"I don't see why you even have to ask, Asuna-chan," Klein said easily. "Just tell us, and we'll do it."

Asuna shook her head. "I can't do that, Klein. It involves the honor of Fuurinkazan as a guild."

Tamagogo laughed. "Oh, come on Asuna, we're Fuurinkazan, for crying out loud! We're not into that 'honor of the guild' stuff."

Asuna shook her head. "I know that's not true. Fuurinkazan means a lot to you, or else you wouldn't have taken the time to keep it alive. It's more than a name. That's why I what I ask, I ask from the whole guild. If you say no, then ill understand and never speak of it again."

"Asuna-san, you're starting to make me nervous," Issin said.

"What's this about, Asuna-chan?" Klein said.

"Let me get right to the point: with the addition of those new people, our numbers are too big for the ad-hoc organization we have now," Asuna said. "We need structure, by-laws, a code of conduct and a chain of command." She sighed. "Look, I know a lot of people thought the Knight of Blood were full of ourselves, and I suspect in hindsight that a lot our or medieval knight trappings owed a lot to Kayaba's inner fanboy, the fact was it made us effective and cut down on a lot of disruptive behavior."

"That's what happens when you get so big," Harry One said. "With a guild our size, we don't have to worry about problems like that."

Asuna nodded. "The problem is with these many people, we are a guild that size. So we need a way to rein in that many people, to keep them from becoming just another mob. We need to rebuild the Knights of Blood."

Everyone looked at each other. While Tamagogo looked skeptical (she had authority issues), most were nodding. "What does that have to do with us?" she demanded.

Asuna took a deep breath. "An organization needs officers. Officers need to be people I trust. I trust Fuurinkazan. Everyone… will you be my new Knights of Blood?"

She could have phrased it the way Klein had, invoking her old recruitment poster. She could have done it on her knees. Heck, she could have down it with her hair up looking like a pair of cinnamon buns on the side of her head. These were nerds she was dealing with, after all. They appreciated iconic imagery like that.

She used none of that. She didn't want them to be inclined to do this for such a reason.

There was silence, each person to their own thoughts. Finally, Klein said, "You're asking us to join your guild."

Asuna nodded.

"The guild you, in fact, don't actually have because this place doesn't have a guild hall."

Asuna nodded again.

Klein thought a moment. "I get it. You can't trust anyone else because you don't know them. We haven't talked to everyone yet, so we don't know whether or not there are any Knights of Blood veterans there, and even if they say they are, unless you ID them yourself you can't be sure it's not just someone pretending. And you want us to become Knights of Blood because it would look bad if you outsourced your officers."

Asuna nodded once more.

Klein was silent. Then he coughed and in a wheedling tone said, "You know, there's no reason why officers can't be part of an elite group called Fuurinkazan…"

Asuna blinked and smiled.

And thus arose the Knights of Blood's elite officer corps, the Fuurinkazan.

Were all their problems so easily fixed

That afternoon, they found Kibaou. More specifically, they found him at the head of a mob, much smaller than the last mob he'd led, coming at them.

Asuna had dropped the apple she'd been eating and stared at the wild-eyed Tamagogo at the news. "Are you sure?" she demanded.

"Cactus head, pervert beard, face you want to punch, yeah I'm sure," Tamagogo said. "Uh, at least you didn't kill him?"

But she had. She'd seen him fall, stabbed him herself several times, and watched as his body became engulfed by flames and exploded. How could…? No. no, this was unprofessional thinking and not the time. One thing was imminently clear: they were under attack again.

"Fuurinkazan!" she called. "Gather everyone. Long range DPS in back, tankers in front, healers to focus on tankers, and make sure we get the children out of range this time!" Everyone grimaced and nodded. "We haven't drilled tog ether, so lets keep this simple. And no one is to start anything unless I do!"

She went out to meet them alone, standing on the edge of the PvP area.

It… looked like Kibaou. It scowled like Kibaou. It certainly ranted like Kibaou. However, Kirito had taken her to the Hollow Area, with its digital copies of players. Though they hadn't nearly been this energetic. Or loud. Or annoying. Or make her want to stab them repeatedly…

"How are you alive?" she demanded, cutting off his threats and posturing that she hadn't even been listening to anyway. "I saw you burn. I saw you die."

He sneered, and she had to keep herself from shoving her rapier down his mouth so that she'd hear his reply. Something about simply reviving at the cathedral. Apparently, a lot of this mob had been part of the last one, and all of them had revived and were now looking for payback–

Asuna, hearing enough, threw a lemon into Kibaou's mouth.

As he choked and accidentally bit down, only to howl at tasting raw lemon juice, she turned and strolled casually back into the [Ancient Stadium]. The PvP area of the [Ancient Stadium].

She was some distance past the threshold before Kibaou and his mob crossed it, skidding to a halt to find a force much, much bigger than the one they had faced last time.

"Before we begin the asskicking," she said coolly, standing in front of a group that had them outnumbered by the front rank alone, "let me just say that we personally have no quarrel with any of you except for that cactus-headed idiot in front. We're willing to let you go if you agree to leave peacefully. Last chance."

Kibaou snarled. "Kill her!" he declared dramatically.

The people behind him, counting the number of people with Asuna, and most likely now seeing the status bars with classes and levels, exchanged looks, nodded, and the two people directly behind Kibaou proceed to stab and club him to death until he exploded into sparkles.

"Screw this, I'm out of here!" someone in the mob cried. "That guy was an asshole anyway."

The mob there stood stupidly for a moment before turning around and starting to disperse.

"Huh," Baymax said from where he stood behind Asuna. "So that's how diplomacy is supposed to work."

Asuna bit on her lip to keep from breaking out into something hysterical. Instead she took a deep breath. "Klein, Baymax, I want you to take thirty people with you and head to the Cathedral."

Klein blinked. "The Cathedral? Why?"

"Because if what Kibaou said was true… he'll be there. And I'd rather we didn't have to deal with a third crowd."

That had been days ago. Today, on the day Kirito and Gudao were talking about them, the revived guild of the Knights of the Blood Oath finished blockading the Cathedral into a prison.

Death, such as it was, would not be an escape from their justice

Yes, Asuna concluded, whoever was behind this was a twisted sadist. For not only could you die, in full agony from being stabbed, crushed, burned or however it was you died… but you would be brought back to die all over again. The possibilities, especially with Kibaou in their custody, horrified her. Not the least of which because of how tempting it was. In a strange way, Kayaba making death real had been a perverse kindness. At least death had been final, an end.

Here, death was barely a pit stop along a road of potential torments, none of which seemed to have been blocked by this deathgame's creator.

For it was still a deathgame, and more insidious for not seeming like it.

All it would take is to take advantage of the fact death wasn't permanent, and that there was some you really, really disliked. How long before your humanity died?

….

STOP JOINING MY GUILD AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

It was no longer just 'for all intents and purposes' a guild. It was a guild now, signed up in the guild hall and everything.

Every day, Kuro felt on the edge of a panic attack. So many people, all depending on her… she wanted to shudder, but if she did she knew she'd never stop. She wanted to run away. She really, really wanted to just run away, to be alone.

But she was in a guild now. Guilds had ways of finding their own.

Shuddering was joined by the urge to collapse into a fetal position and moan like a broken siren. She stifled that urge too.

Lying in the dark, staring in the direction of the open doorway guarded, should be guarded, by Erischris and a pair of the new girls, she could feel her hands shaking anyway and tucked them into her armpits. Eventually they settled down as Kuro tried to blink back tears. Stupid new deathgame! Stupid Black Swordsman-looking random avatar that had convinced her to play it! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

A member of the Knights of Blood seeing her right now would have called her unprofessional. Kuro would have told the hypothetical knight to go screw themselves. Well, she'd have thought it very hard.

Gah! GAH GAH GAH! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

No, screaming in her mind did no good. And she still couldn't sleep.

It wasn't quiet around her. It couldn't be no matter how hard you tried when almost sixty people wee sleeping in close quarters. There were been people moving around in their sleep, snoring, or just breathing loudly. A few, she suspected from the breathing that was too heavy to be restful, were masturbating. Part of her made a note to quietly deal with that.

Damn it, she missed having familiar plumbing.

Thinking with her misplaced libido was actually sufficiently distracting enough to calm her down. But since she was still too keyed up to try to sleep, Kuro gave it up as a lost cause and sat up on her sleeping bag. According to her status menu's clock, it was almost dawn anyway. Gingerly getting up so as not to disturb anyone, she moved as silently a she could out of the communal sleeping area. There were too many of them now, and the ruins were too small and unsecured, for everyone to have their own room, so they made like it was a class trip to Kyoto and slept in groups.

So many… Kuro leaned against was passed for the door frame and just tried to stay on her feet as another round of shuddering wracked her.

They slept in groups, with the youngest and new new players sleeping in the most secure room they could find, accompanied by the girls who had helped rescue them. Kuro had been where they were. She knew the value of having someone comforting nearby. The newer ones had been sorted into similarly sized groups as well. Fortunately, at least one had been a [Class Rep] IRL, and knew how to properly organize people.

She opened her menu, changing out the low-stat clothes she used as sleepwear for her usual load out. Prior to becoming a deathgame, Elder Tale had possessed a wide variety of customization when it came to clothes and appearance, and it had been relatively easy to find something that would be comfortable to sleep it. Still, there was no way she was going to go around in it. Elder Tale or SAO, in a deathgame that way lay suicide. She'd heard too many discussions on how to kill other people while in Laughing Coffin to not be very conscious of how the right gear could keep a sneak attack from being a clean kill.

Erischris turned towards her as she got closer. "Hey boss," she said. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Sure, let's go with that," Kuro said. As responses go, action hero-type one-liners were safe for the Black Swordsman. It got a grin from Erischris anyway. Kuro glanced at the other two, and they seemed to stand straighter under her gaze. Damned if she knew why. "What do you want for an early breakfast?"

"Curry with Christmas fried chicken, okonomiyaki and dango," Erischris said instantly. "But since it'll taste like soggy rice cracker, I'll have a coconia."

Kuro frowned. "What do those taste like?" she'd been sticking to fruits that existed IRL, but if it was any good…

Erischris grinned, leaning forward conspiratorially. "Like strawberry-lychee chocolate," she said with a grin.

Kuro took a moment to imagine that. "Well, it's a healthy fruit, so… " She looked at the other two girls, who'd clearly heard. She could tell from the way they were salivating. "You want some too?" They nodded vigorously.

It took all of Kuro's willpower to not make the box of coconia fruit mysteriously disappear into her inventory.

People were waking up by the time she'd finished her business. Thankfully their ruin had included a toilet that connected to the sewers below. It didn't have water, but between the summoners who could call water spirits and having something they could use as a cistern nearby, they managed to keep it pretty sanitary. Still, it was a disgusting problem to have. You never had problems like this in SAO!

Somewhere in Shibuya, Asuna sneezed.

With resignation that seemed to dip lower to something more therapy-worthy each passing day, Kuro studied her guild. It was, thankfully, a far cry from the last guild she'd been somehow gotten drafted into. A lot of them were girls, many of whom had apparently joined for protection. She had the feeling they were known as the 'anti-rape guild' or something now. A few of the girls, however… It was a fact that wherever girls gathered together, there would follow those trying to hit on them. Kuro was very aware of this fact, since IRL Kashiwazaka Hiyori was very… philanthropic, verging on idealized utopian socialist. She knew the type. The type was present. The type thankfully didn't realize she was their type, which was a minor blessing.

And then there were the males.

There weren't a lot of in the guild. Many who were of 'the type' had arrived to apply, but she wasn't the only one who could tell, and they'd been mostly weeded out by the entrance interviews. The few who managed to be, reluctantly, admitted in fell into three categories.

There was the platonically safe, like the guy who'd joined because his brother the new player had insisted on staying with the guild and he hadn't had his own guild anyway, nor anywhere else to go. Three more people had shown up looking among the new players for someone they knew, and had stayed for pretty much the same reason.

There were the heroically inclined and sexually oblivious, any of who could have headlined as a perfectly ordinary shounen series lead, of the sort to be found anywhere, and had gravitated towards them because they had seemed more vigilante-heroic than the other guilds. There were about a dozen of such fine lads, and they genuinely seemed to want to help, not just hit on the girls, and for some bizarre reason thought joining the guild would allow them to do so. Kuro had no idea where they came by this strange delusion.

The last group were SAO veterans. Less than the previous group, only two were high-level. These two, according to a quiet word from Lalatina, were wearing equipment that, while still powerful, were more than two years out of date. The rest were close to Kuro's own level, likely for the same reason. They all had a quiet, competently dangerous air, however, and they had not taken 'no' for an answer. From what she could tell, they had gravitated towards 'the Black Swordsman' because Kuro was the most highly visible person who anyone who'd been trapped in SAO would recognize, and they 'did not trust some guild run by a flakey deathgame noob to realize just how series this mess was'. They were usually out patrolling the perimeter or gathering information out in the city. The others thought they were a group of JSDF Rangers IRL and gave them a wide berth. Purely out of respect, of course. Right.

The new players were laughing, happy and getting into trouble. It was a far cry from the nervous bundles of oppressed fear they'd managed to get out of Hamelin, not that many days ago. Already, some were tentatively asking if they could go out to the field zones. Some actually thought going back out to fight monsters now would be fun. Kuro would have thought it perverse… if she hadn't been one of the tens of founds of people to go out and buy a NERVGear and a first copy of Sword Art Online to do pretty much the same thing.

She was just thinking of planning such a trip for them– a supervised trip, since she wasn't and did not doubt that Hamelin would be at them like white on rice by at most the second trip, if not the first. Maybe she could even get some leveling in?– when one of the new girls came in calling for her. "Kuro-sama! Kuro-sama!"

Kuro had gotten very good at suppressing the flinch, so all she had to do was put on her 'heroic Black Swordsman' game face on. She turned, and tried to look like she was in charge and knew what to do, and not constantly on edge from people relying on her. It was one of the new girls, a level 90 assassin despite being a little girl who looked all of 10. Dark skin, silvery hair… Kuro managed to recall her name. "What is it Chloe-chan?" she asked.

The girl pointed towards the front door, her Phantasmal-class gear fluttering all over at her excited movements. She had Phantasmal-gear EVERYTHINGS! Seriouslythat seemed really unfair! Was she a whale? Was that it? Damned cetacean players! "There's someone out there asking for you Kuro-sama!" she said. "He says he's from some guild I've never heard of with a message for you!"

Message? Who'd want to send a message to her?

As it turned out, he was Shouryuu of Crescent Moon Alliance.

"I guess you're the one they call the Black Swordsman," he said, looking at her up and down before blinking and staring seemingly through her for a moment. Probably starring at her status screen, which showed her level. He saw his eyes dart to Erischris, to Chloe, to AquA, and could almost see the thought process asking why such powerful people followed someone only a few levels out from getting daily [Exp Potions]. He pretended he hadn't been staring and coughed. "Ah, my guild leader Maryelle would like to invite you to a conference of guild leaders. She wants to talk about improving the situation in the city."

It was frankly depressing how quickly Kuro went from surprised to suspicious.

"Why?" she asked, then clarified. "Why us?"

Shouryuu looked at her like it should be obvious. "Everyone knows you care about people," he said. "She thought you'd be willing to join a plan to help everyone in Akihabara."

"Unless she knows where the asshole who stuck us in this deathgame is and is planning to send a raid after him, I don't think anything we do is going to help Akihabara," Kuro said. A bit dark, but it seemed like the kind of thing the Black Swordsman would have said.

That seemed to knock him back, and even some of the girls were eyeing her sideways at the declaration. And her sense of propriety was giving her a disappointed frown. Kuro sighed. "Where and when? I'll probably go if I have nothing better to do." And unless Hamelin started recruiting again– she had someone, a new girl they wouldn't recognize, watching their door in the guild hall for new victims– she probably wouldn't.

"The Crescent Moon Alliance guild hall tomorrow," Shouryuu said. "You can only bring two people with you." Then, as if realizing how this sounded, he gave a sheepish smile. "Our meeting room's not very big, so anymore and we wouldn't fit." He gave directions to the specific door in the guild building. It was thankfully some distance from Hamelin's door.

They gave him some coconia fruit to eat when he left. It was only polite, and the surprise on his face from the gesture was worth it.

Kuro tried not to think of what it meant that having someone do something nice for you was worthy of surprise in Akihabara.

Still, at least this gave her something to do for the day. She needed to find out more about the Crescent Moon Alliance.

….

Hi Argo! We Missed You, You Sexy Beast!

Argo had been doing pretty well for herself, all things considered. Toilet paper sales were becoming a regular income generator, which was good since she was still in the information acquisition stage, building up her stocks of product. She'd avoided the troubles of molestation and worse (it was amazing how much trouble you could avoid from the shoulders of a golem), and she was even thinking of getting back to her old stock in trade.

It would come sooner than she thought.

The economy, such as it was, was being set up, and Argo didn't even have to go out to get raw materials for paper. She bought them from adventurers, who could take her price or leave it, and made toilet paper to sell. She had a spot on a rock along one of the major market streets, and at the moment she was idly going through her notebook trying to get her product-line straight.

A shadow fell over her, and she idly looked up, expecting a customer. What she saw raised not one, but both eyebrows.

"Argo-san," the figure in black said ironically. There was a gold coin in their hands. "I was hoping I could ask you about something."

Her response was immediate and reflexive. "100 col," she said.

"Sorry, I only have gold. Will that do?" The coin flipped up, and she swiped it out of the air.

"Eh, it'll do," she said, and despite her words a smile of real pleasure began to spread across her face. "I'm hurt Kii-bou. Only coming to look for me now? A girl would think you didn't care."

Shrug. "Sorry, I was busy."

Argo chuckled. "I heard. Picked up any new girls lately?"

There was the blush, and they looked away. "N-none of your business!"

Hah! So there were new girls! "Don't worry, I won't tell Aa-chan. For free, anyway," she said, grinning as she crossed her legs beneath her to be more comfortable. "So, why'd you visit a little old toilet paper merchant like me?"

Kirito– and he'd always be Kirito, even if he tried to change his name to some damned fool thing like 'Kuro'– took a deep breath. "Tell me about the Crescent Moon Alliance."

Argo smile became even wider. It was good to be back in business.

….

- To be continued…

….

A/N: this fic does not take the West Wind Brigade manga into account. I'm aware of them, but frankly they'd be a pain to integrate, so they're soft canon for me. Sara is definitely in, but all the drama they go through... blame it on the SAO survivors for why things are different.

Please review, CC welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.