Cora Crawley sat still on the edge of her bed, staring at the wooden floor underneath her bare feet. She saw water droplets fall on her peach silk gown, it was only when she realized how long she's been staring without blinking. She shut her eyes as the stung, glad to be shut. She looked at her reflection in the mirror in front of her, she didn't see the beauty that everyone talked about, nor the rosy lips, pink cheeks and blue orbs, but dry lips, pale cheeks and lost eyes. She squished the comforter she sat on, in the hope to dilute her pain, she screamed inside, she felt lost, she was still shocked what a few days can change.

She heard a knock on the door but she didn't reply. The door opened very slowly, she didn't look who entered, she already knew. The footsteps grew louder as the person came near her. She felt a hand on her shoulder as she looked into another pair of blues.

Robert Crawley stared at her with the same lost appearance in his eyes.

He sat with her and slided his hand to hers and slightly rubbed it.

'Darling, you need to eat something, anything, but please. Should I ring for Obrien to bring up a tray? ' asked Robert very politely. As he spoke, Cora could hear the pain in his voice.

He was her strength but at the same time, he was her weakness.

"Im not hungry, Robert".

Robert opened his mouth to say something but stopped in his way.

What could he possibly say to her? What would make a difference? Nothing, he thought, absolutely nothing. Two weeks ago they were surprised by an unplanned pregnancy, eighteen years after their youngest daughter. Oh the happiness, he remembered, how Cora's face blushed when someone congratulated her, how her eyes lightened whenever she heard someone mentioning it, how Robert adored her in a way that he never did before. But tragedy striked two days ago when Cora slipped over a piece of soap and miscarried the baby.

The tragedy killed her, broke him, the whole Abbey went into complete silence of disbelief and injustice.

That pain doubled when they found out the gender of the baby. A boy, an heir, the future Lord Grantham. Thirty years, they tried for a boy, but never had any, although they were delighted by their three beautiful and very smart daughters but they always had this hope of having a boy. And when they finally conceived one, they lost it in the most ridiculous way possible.

His thoughts were interrupted by Cora;

'Robert?... Will you ever be able to forgive me?'

'What? What do you mean?' asked Robert turning his face towards her in a confusion.

Cora looked at him finding an answer in his eyes and looked back down again as tears started sliding down her soft cheeks. Cora pressed her lips together as Robert sat down in position where he could see her face properly.

'Cora, please say something'

'I know it's my fault, I should have been careful, it was my duty to take care of your baby but I failed, Robert, I lost your baby', Cora said this while sobbing and it felt like she's unburdening herself, as if accepting her guilt.

Robert looked at her for a moment and said, 'Oh dearest , I donot blame you, it wasn't anyone's fault, it was an accident'

'Robert, no! Please, let me say this. I lost our baby, it is all my fault I was stupid and selfish, I should have taken care of our baby, our boy! Oh my God our baby boy!'

Cora said this as she lost complete control of herself. Robert could see her crumbling with every passing second.

'Oh Coraaa, please don't blame yourself, it could have happened to anyone, you did your best' Robert said this confidently but was on the verge of breaking down himself. He bit his lower lip in order to gain strength. He held her face in his right palm and forced her to look into his eyes. As the blue met blue, Cora's eyes started going glassier which wasn't helping Robert console her and but importantly himself.

Cora started crying out loud, her beautiful face was as if set on fire, she turned red and cried harder.

Robert sat up with her and wrapped his arms around her weak shoulders.

'There, there! Darling, I know this is hard but we'll have to accept to truth, it just wasn't meant to be. Sometimes there's no plain answer, it is what it is'

Cora shifted back on her weight and stood up and went towards the window for some air. She breathed in the oxygen and looked at her husband again,

'Robert, no! I donot accept it, it is not fair, it can't be! Do you know how many times I've heard your mother blame me for not having a son in the early years?'

'But things have changed'

'Its not just that... ' Cora said cutting him off, 'It has been my dream to give you a boy, I wanted to give you this happiness, I know how much you wanted it, how much I wanted you to have it, how much I wanted us to have a boy. I saw in your eyes Robert, the way they glittered by the announcement of the pregnancy and I saw that flicker in your eyes I've seen each time when I was pregnant. The hope of a boy! I wanted to give you a boy, because I want you to be happy and fully satisfied of me because I love you and my I am nothing without you! But I lost it, I lost our baby, I am so sorry, please forgive me, I'm sorry! '

Robert sat there looking at her, knowing that each and every word she said was true, and finding a whole knew side of Cora, the one he's never seen before. But still he didn't blame her, he never could. Cora did so much for him, she dedicated her life to his success loved him unconditionally, had faith in him when no one did, Cora did, his sweet Cora. She can't blame herself, she can't feel guilty because she hasn't done anything wrong.

He ran towards Cora and gave her the tightest hug. But this time he couldn't control his tears, they both cried ehil they held each other for support.

After sometime, Robert looked into eyes and felt his heart quench looking at her like this. He held her face by her chin and made sure she was listening to him,

'Listen to me,darling. You have no reason to feel guilty and I mean it. It was no one's fault. this is unfair but life is unpredictable, it grabs you in a way you can never imagine. I love you Cora, so very much and I need you. I love you more than I loved our unborn child, and I need you to stop blaming yourself. We'll get through this, I promise. I'd trade anything for you, you know that, even if it was my own soul , I need you to be strong and be full of life and smile, the smile which still amazes me. Sure, that was a great happiness, but my real happiness lies with you if you're happy I'm happy. So please , fo my sake, give me my fiesty, beautiful, smart Cora again and I promise you, nothing on earth would make me happier! '

Cora looked into his eyes and felt unimaginably grateful to have him. Not many people react this way,she knew. Even if Robert blamed her, she would love him, because she blamed herself too,but right now this tragedy made their love stronger and deeper and she couldn't remember feeling this blessed in a long time.

She moved her head closer and kissed his lips slowly and softly and buried her head inti his neck. Robert wrapped hid strong arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head. In that moment she felt that everything might turn out alright.