Losing Control

AU where everything's the same except they're in high school and Yukimura is in Germany (I guess the same place Tezuka went XD)... very out of character and pretty rushed, sorry ^^"

xxx

The first time, Sanada fucked Kirihara.

Practice had been a complete nightmare for the vice-captain; it seemed as if everyone was trying to piss him off. But no one else could compare to Kirihara. The brat was being overly obnoxious, disrespectful, and argumentative. Those qualities were pretty normal for the teen, but on that day everything seemed to be multiplied ten-fold. Sanada thought he was going to blow. He eventually gave up and sent everyone home early from practice. "If you guys won't pay attention, then just leave," he'd bellowed.

The Rikkai team members all scurried, terrified, to the locker room. All of them, that is, except for Kirihara. "Fuku-buchou, what's got you so upset?" Kirihara asked teasingly, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Sanada's nostrils flared as he inhaled a deep breath. He clenched and unclenched his fists a couple times before replying cooly, "You and I both know the answer to that, Kirihara-kun." He emphasized the honorific.

Kirihara rocked back and forth on his heels, hand reaching his chin to rub thoughtfully. With a snicker he shrugged. He turned tail and began to leisurely walk towards the locker room.

Sanada glowered as he stalked behind Kirihara. The moment he entered the locker room, everyone else gathered their things and high tailed it out of there. Sanada huffed. He took off his signature black cap before tearing off his jersey. He opened his locker and rummaged for the things he'd need to take a shower. Even though practice was cut short and he didn't even get that sweaty, he really wanted to feel the hot water on his tense muscles. He kicked off his socks and shoes before stepping out of his shorts. Clad in only his boxers, he threw his towel over his shoulder and took his other things to the showers. He narrowed his eyes into dangerous slits as Kirihara followed suit, only a pace behind him.

Kirihara smiled his best shit-eating grin at the older player, and that was it for Sanada. He couldn't take it anymore. He spun around and grabbed Kirihara's thin wrist, pulling the younger boy close to him. Teeth gnashing, he spat, "What's your problem today?"

A terrified look filled Kirihara's eyes. "Fuku-buchou..." he gasped, breath hitching.

"Well?" Sanada snarled. "I demand that you tell me."

Kirihara's green eyes searched Sanada's stern brown ones, for what, Sanada didn't know. But after a tense moment, the teen lowered his head, letting his bangs fall over his face. He violently tried to pull his wrist free of Sanada's grip, to no avail. "Let go," he whispered.

Sanada snorted. "As if. You need to tell me what's up, first." He tightened his hold on the younger boy with the one hand, and used the other one to tilt Kirihara's chin up. He was taken aback when he saw tears forming in the other's eyes.

"Let go," Kirihara said again, voice raw with emotion.

Shaking his head, Sanada leaned in towards his kouhai. He kissed Kirihara's cheek sweetly, but he quickly pulled back. He wasn't even sure what possessed him to act in such a way. Maybe just after all the crap he'd been through that day his brain was totally fried, or maybe it had to do with the fact that his little kouhai was crying and it was his fault. Whatever the reason, Sanada did it and couldn't take it back. Not that he necessarily wanted to.

Kirihara's pale skin instantly blushed dark red. "Sanada-san," he said quietly. His eyes were wider than Sanada had ever seen them before, but now they appeared to be more curious than in pain, as they just had been.

Throwing all logic to the wind, Sanada leaned in a second time, but this time he joined his lips with Kirihara's. Feverishly, he pressed into his kouhai. Heat was rushing to his abdomen, so Sanada began to rub his forming-erection into Kirihara's leg. All of the day's anger quickly morphed into a sadistic kind of lust, and Sanada wasn't planning on letting the other boy out of it. Rutting against the smaller boy's leg wasn't enough for Sanada, so he finally brought a hand down to start stroking himself. "I'm going to fuck you into this wall," Sanada stated gruffly. His breathing was ragged, his pupils were dilated, and every inch of him felt like it was on fire. It took everything in him to not just pound into the poor second year right then. But, really, even in the state he was in, Sanada wasn't about to rape the kid. He leaned in close, bringing his chest flush up against Kirihara's. He licked the outside of his kouhai's ear before panting, "If that's okay with you."

Kirihara nodded slowly.

And of course, Sanada kept his word.

xxx

The second time, Sanada had sex with Kirihara.

Practice had ended and the boys were all excited to go home for a long weekend. Sanada's parents were out of town, visiting his older brother, so he was going to have the house to himself. With the extended weekend, he figured he'd be able to get a lot of studying done.

Being the vice-captain, and temporary head-captain, Sanada always was the last player to leave practice. He would overlook the first years as they cleaned up, and then take a quick patrol around the courts, picking up any trash or forgotten tennis balls. Because of this, Sanada usually had the locker room all to himself by the time he got there. So he was slightly surprised when he walked into the room to find Kirihara milling around. "What are you still doing here, Kirihara-kun?" Sanada asked. The room's mood was tense. It had been a week since Sanada and Kirihara... well, it had been a week, and neither had talked about what had transpired between them.

"Fuku-buchou, I think we need to talk," Kirihara said quietly. His eyes darted around the room, flickering to Sanada's face only briefly. His shoulders were tense and hunched together. A pink blush highlighted his delicate cheekbones.

Sanada nodded. He knew he couldn't avoid his kouhai any longer. It just wasn't fair to him. "Let me take a quick shower and change, then we can go somewhere proper to talk." The tone he used was his usual stiff, no-nonsense, one, but it sounded especially harsh in the silent locker room. Sanada inwardly flinched. He didn't want to scare Kirihara any more than he already had. Although Sanada hated to admit it, Kirihara was an essential component of their team, and he couldn't do anything that would potentially scare the Ace away.

Kirihara didn't say anything, but he sat down on a bench to wait.

Sanada took an extremely quick shower and then gathered his things. "We can go to my house," he suggested in a voice that made it clear that that's where they were going no matter what. "No one's home, so we can have privacy. Plus I know it's not that far from your house."

"Okay," Kirihara agreed quietly. He gulped but nodded and followed behind Sanada as he left the locker room. He led the younger Rikkai member through the familiar streets, and eventually they came upon a quaint, white, house.

"Here we are," Sanada stated. He went up the steps and opened the door for Kirihara. They quickly kicked off their shoes and made their way up the stairs to Sanada's bedroom. They both dumped their bags on the ground, and then Sanada offered his desk chair to Kirihara. He sat himself on the edge of his bed. He knit both his hands and his eyebrows as he observed his kouhai. Kirihara was glancing around the room nervously. "Kirihara-kun," Sanada said, amused as the boy jumped at the sound of his name.

Kirihara flushed slightly. He cleared his throat and began to speak. "Fuku-buchou, last week you... er... What was that?" He finally squeaked out. The usually cocky boy seemed so much younger and smaller sitting in Sanada's chair, pink dusting his cheeks and embarrassment flashing in his eyes.

Sanada coughed. "What happened was very inappropriate, and I'm... I'm sorry. For scaring you, and if I hurt you. I truly apologize for my actions." And he meant it. He was always calm and rational, and what happened the week before was completely uncalled for. It was embarrassing how Sanada had let his emotions get the better of him.

"I..." Kirihara started but stopped. A confused expression settled onto his features. "So, you don't... like me or anything?" He asked, tilting his head. His blush darkened and his hands were visibly trembling.

Sanada blinked, shocked. Had Kirihara thought...? Sanada was about to laugh at the idea, when it hit him. He didn't just fuck Kirihara because he was there, he fucked him because it was him. His strong yet fragile kouhai. The one who pissed him off the most, but whom could never stay on Sanada's bad side. The cute boy with the gorgeous eyes who could often be caught watching the older player... "Kirihara, do you like me?" Sanada asked in a quiet, soft, voice.

Kirihara's green eyes widened. "Well I... Of course not!" He laughed, his nervousness evident in the forced sound.

Raising an eyebrow, Sanada stood up from his bed. He walked over to the desk chair that Kirihara was seated in. He put his hand on the arm-rest and leaned in towards his kouhai. "Oh really?" he breathed huskily. His body was quickly returning to the predatorial state it had been in the week before. Sanada wasn't even sure of what he was doing as he did it. He slowly licked his own lips as he leaned in closer. His hand suddenly reached down and grabbed Kirihara's already-hardening dick. "You know I can't stand when people lie to me," Sanada purred. He pawed at the other's pants, rubbing into his erection. Sanada nuzzled his face into Kirihara's neck, licking the tender skin. He dragged his tongue up, onto the other's face, tasting the sweet flesh. He placed a small kiss onto Kirihara's cheek, before ghosting his lips over his kouhai's. "Well?" he asked, lips gently brushing against Kirihara's trembling ones.

"Sanada-saaan," he moaned.

With a smirk Sanada kissed Kirihara. But he suddenly pulled back, yanking Kirihara out of the chair as well. He roughly pushed the younger boy onto his bed and immediately began to undo his belt, losing himself to his instincts and desires.

It wasn't what Sanada had planned to do that afternoon, but he wasn't complaining. He could always do that studying later.

xxx

The third time, Sanada made love to Kirihara.

It was still the day when Kirihara had come over after school and Sanada unexpectedly decided to have sex with him. Sanada had just stepped out of his shower and walked back to his room to find some clean clothes, when he heard Kirihara talking to someone.

"-I know, Mom! Sorry I didn't call... Yeah but-" He had his phone in his hand, but he was still lying in Sanada's bed, the sheet the only thing covering him. His face was red as he talked to his mother.

Sanada couldn't help but snicker slightly. Though, he knew he was the one who made Kirihara come to his house after practice, and as a senpai, he felt obliged to help. "Kirihara-kun, thanks for helping me today! You didn't have to stay so late at practice, but I really appreciate it," Sanada said in a loud voice.

Kirihara's eyes widened slightly as he registered what was happening. "Yeah Mom, I meant to call but I was helping my fuku-buchou practice and we lost track of time... I'm sorry I missed dinner but-"

"You can stay overnight if you'd like," Sanada said, now whispering. "And I'll get you dinner." He really did feel guilty. Again. He had just wanted to apologize to Kirihara, but somehow he ended up pounding into the younger boy all afternoon. It was the least he could do to help Kirihara stay out of trouble.

"Mom, Sanada-senpai says I can hang out at his house tonight, okay? ...I know. ...Yeah, I love you too, bye." Kirihara hung up his phone and tossed it onto Sanada's night stand. "Thanks," he said quietly to Sanada.

Sanada nodded. "I'm sorry if I got you in trouble with your mother," Sanada said as he rubbed the back of his neck. His face felt hot so he decided to distract himself by finding some clothes to put on, since he only had a towel wrapped around his hips.

Kirihara waved it off. "No, it's cool." Kirihara stayed still for a minute but then sighed and got out of the bed, gathering his clothes. "Can I uhh... use your shower?" he asked.

"Sure," Sanada said. He glanced at Kirihara's clothes and offered, "You can borrow some clean clothes if you want... You know, if you plan on spending the night." Sanada felt somewhat nervous now. He'd made the offer of letting the younger spend the night without really thinking of any of the implications.

"I'd appreciate it," Kirihara said. He'd slipped his boxers on, but he was still mostly exposed as he stood in front of his senpai.

Sanada found a T-shirt and some sweatpants and gave them to Kirihara, before instructing him with which towel he should use. Once his kouhai had scampered off to get clean, and Sanada had thrown on his own pajamas, Sanada eased himself into his desk chair. He held his face in his hands. He was feeling guilty, ashamed, and confused. What was wrong with him? A senpai can't just treat their kouhai the way that he'd been treating Kirihara. Especially since now he was catching onto the fact that Kirihara might actually like him, wasn't he just abusing his kouhai's feelings and using them for his own selfish reasons? Sanada let out a long sigh. Not to mention his own feelings. He certainly cared about Kirihara, but to what extent? Obviously Kirihara was very attractive, athletic, and kind towards his senpai, but he could also be overly emotional and rash. But, in truth, Sanada kind of liked that about Kirihara. He himself always followed every rule, and kept his emotions out of his decisions. It was somewhat exciting to be with someone whose intentions weren't often clear. Sanada shook his head in hopes of clearing his mind, to no avail.

A few minutes later, Kirihara, hair still dripping, walked back into the bedroom. "Thank you for letting me use your shower," he called.

Sanada lifted his head and looked at the younger boy. Then he rolled his eyes. "Kirihara-kun, you're going to catch a cold if you don't dry your hair properly." He stood up from his chair and crossed over to the younger teen. He grabbed the towel that was draped over Kirihara's neck and began to rub it over his black curls. Kirihara flinched at first, but quickly was leaning slightly into Sanada's strong hands. A smile formed on Sanada's lips as he kept rubbing. Once he was sure that Kirihara wouldn't catch a cold from damp hair, he took a step back from the other boy. "Let's go eat," he said suddenly. He left his room and led the way to the kitchen. Sanada was a decent cook, but his mother had made some extra food that morning to leave him for the weekend. Sanada grabbed a container of rice and another container full of some kind of curry. He held them up to Kirihara. "This okay?" he asked, though he didn't really have anything else if Kirihara wasn't satisfied with it.

"Yeah, thanks," Kirihara said. He stayed right at Sanada's side as he portioned the food and quickly reheated it in the microwave.

Once the food was hot, Sanada put the two plates on the small table that was pushed against one of the kitchen's walls. "Want a drink?" he asked, returning to the fridge to get some water for himself.

"Water's good," Kirihara said politely. He waited patiently as Sanada filled two glasses. Once he set the drinks on the table, however, Kirihara quickly said, "Itadakimasu!" and began to eat. "Wow, this is delicious! Your mom made this?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes, she's an amazing chef," Sanada replied with a proud smile. He started to eat as well, but not as ravenously as his younger companion.

Kirihara didn't bother with conversation as he swiftly ate his fill. Sanada finished a few minutes after, and stood up with his dishes when Kirihara stopped him. "I'll clean up!" he announced.

Sanada frowned slightly as he shook his head and said, "No, you're my guest, I can handle this."

But Kirihara had already pulled the plate out of Sanada's hand. "Don't worry senpai, I'm a really good dishwasher," he assured.

Sanada sighed but decided to let Kirihara just do as he pleased. He sat back down at the table and watched as his kouhai quickly and efficiently washed the dishes. The sight actually brought a slight blush to Sanada's face. From where he was sitting he had a great view of Kirihara's backside. Although the boy was very thin and somewhat lanky, he had a cute butt that Sanada could see as he did the dishes. It actually was rather distracting for Sanada, who was still trying to sort out his feelings for the other tennis player. He really did like him, and it was pretty nice to have someone to hang out with again. Now that Yukimura was temporarily in Germany, the vice captain got kind of lonely. Maybe it was worth a shot? But if it didn't work out, what would happen to the tennis team? Sanada was really getting torn up about all of this.

"Sanada-san, can we watch a movie?" Kirihara asked. He'd just finished the dishes, and now he was standing close to Sanada, his green eyes wide with excitement.

"Yeah, I have a DVD player in my room," Sanada said. He stood up from the table and went to the living room, where his family kept all of their movies in the entertainment center. "You can pick whatever you want," he offered as he opened the cabinet, revealing a decent sized library of discs.

"Ooooh," Kirihara marvelled as he crouched to look at all of the titles. He scanned the movies for a few minutes before grabbing one. "Can we watch this?" he asked, looking up at Sanada.

Sanada glanced at the case for the DVD. "You want to watch 'Tangled'?" he asked. Honestly, he didn't even know why his mom had bought the movie. It wasn't that it was bad, but it wasn't something that he'd have ever picked.

Kirihara nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I love this movie!" He blushed a bit and laughed.

"Okay," Sanada said quietly. Hearing Kirihara laugh so freely like that made his pupils dilate a bit and his heart skip a beat. He swallowed and quickly brought Kirihara back to his room. He threw the movie into the DVD player and hit 'play'. He settled onto the floor, back pressed against his mattress, while Kirihara laid on his stomach on the bed. Sanada had seen the movie only once before, but he quickly knew that Kirihara had seen it much more than that. Kirihara sang with every song, and even quoted some of the lines. Sanada couldn't keep the smile off his face. Kirihara liked to portray himself as cool and strong, but suddenly he was acting like a little kid at a silly movie; it was pretty adorable. And before he could help himself, Sanada was even chuckling at the antics of the characters on the screen as well. Much too soon, however, the credits began to roll.

"It's, like, my favorite movie," Kirihara admitted with a soft laugh.

Sanada craned his neck to look at his friend on his bed. "Kirihara," he said in a slightly husky voice, before shaking his head and coughing.

Kirihara watched Sanada curiously. Then he pouted slightly and buried his head into the mattress. He mumbled something incoherent.

"What was that?" Sanada asked, brows furrowed. He sat up more and properly turned to face the other boy. When he lifted his head, Kirihara's face was bright red. Sanada blinked, surprised, but kept staring at his kouhai. "Come one, what was it?" he asked playfully. It was unlike him to be so informal, but for some reason he felt like it was okay. It being Kirihara made him feel like it was okay.

Kirihara coughed a bit as well, and then he took an uneven breath. "I said... that I like you..." Kirihara whispered, tears springing to his eyes. He quickly shut them before burying his face into the sheets again.

Sanada's breath caught in his throat. Kirihara did like him... And he liked Kirihara back, he was sure of it. So, for once in his life, Sanada decided to abandon his usual, safe, attitude and do something crazy. He smiled and chuckled a bit. Then he leaned over and quickly kissed the top of Kirihara's head. He said into the curly locks, "I like you too, Kirihara." Then he backed away slightly and brought a hand to tip Kirihara's face towards his own. Sanada smiled at Kirihara's wide eyes, and couldn't help it as he pecked a kiss onto his forehead.

Face red, Kirihara wiggled around to get himself to be sitting up. He had his legs crossed, his hands in his lap, and an utter look of shock on his face. "Sanada..." he breathed. He swallowed thickly before darting his tongue out to lick his lips.

Placing his hands onto Kirihara's knees, Sanada quietly asked, "Kirihara, would you like to be my boyfriend?" He knew it was cheesy and lame sounding, but Sanada was old-fashioned in a sense, and he wanted to ask properly.

Kirihara put his hands over his face in embarrassment, but nodded enthusiastically nonetheless.

"Good," Sanada said. He rose from his seated position, putting one knee onto the edge of the bed. He gently pushed Kirihara down, and pulled the boy's hands away from covering his face. Sanada hesitated a moment before kissing Kirihara square on the lips. He deepened the kiss as he felt Kirihara reciprocate the action. Sanada felt small hands run up his sides before exploring his chest. Heat flooded the older boy's body. But he didn't want to get carried away. Again. So he regretfully pulled away from his now-boyfriend and stood up. He cleared his throat. "I'm going to... uhh.. brush my teeth," he said flatly.

Panting on the bed, Kirihara just stared at Sanada incredulously. "What?" he asked.

Sanada blushed. "I don't want to rush things... I feel like I've already messed this up so... I think we should go slower?" Sanada stumbled with his words, not really believing them himself. But he really did like Kirihara, and didn't want the other boy to think he just wanted to use him for sex.

"But... No, that's not fair!" Kirihara pouted. "Why do you get to be the only one who gets to decide when we do it! Just because I'm the bottom doesn't mean I get no say..." he huffed. Kirihara sat back up and crossed his arms. He shot sad puppy-eyes at Sanada.

Sanada bit his lip for a moment. While chewing it, he glanced at Kirihara, and felt even more heat gather in his stomach. "Shit," he swore under his breath. He suddenly lurched forward and tackled Kirihara onto the bed. He straddled the younger's hips as he locked his lips into a passionate kiss. "You make me lose control, Kirihara, and it scares me," he whispered into Kirihara's ear.

Kirihara's hot breath lingered on Sanada's skin as he replied in a low voice, "Don't be afraid." And without another word, he started to kiss his senpai again. He ran his hands over every part of Sanada that he could reach. He slowly brought a knee up to push against the inside of Sanada's thigh, as well as his growing erection.

"Ahhhh," Sanada moaned loudly. He leaned back quickly to pull off his shirt. Then he helped Kirihara tug off his own shirt as well. Sanada had some other articles of clothing he wanted to remove, but first he couldn't resist trailing his large hands over the smaller boy's toned body. He just soaked in the softness of the other's impossibly pale skin. "Fuck, you're so hot," Sanada groaned as he began to place kisses all over Kirihara's exposed skin. But he couldn't take it anymore, so Sanada pulled back and deftly yanked off his pants and boxers before doing the same to Kirihara. Freed of all pieces of clothing, Sanada went back in to ravish Kirihara with kisses and touches.

"Please," Kirihara panted. "I need more..." Kirihara arched his back in an effort to get closer to Sanada.

Placing a kiss to the tip of Kirihara's erect dick, Sanada nodded. The other times he'd done this to Kirihara, it had been about himself getting pleasure. But now Sanada realized how cruel that was of him. Both of them deserved to enjoy the experience to the fullest. It wasn't just about intercourse, it was about making love and sharing a special bond. And so he'd do whatever he could to make sure Kirihara was pleased.

And was he ever.

xxx

The next morning, the two boys awoke to the first rays of the sun pooling on the floor of the silent bedroom. Sanada lazily stretched before looking at the boy cuddled tight against his chest. Kirihara's sleepy eyes were half open as he snuggled in a bit closer to Sanada's warmth. Absently, Sanada brought a hand up and started stroking Kirihara's hair.

Slowly Kirihara turned his large green eyes towards Sanada. "Last night was... wow, it was amazing," he admitted, cheeks turning pink.

Sanada closed his eyes, the fantastic memories from the night before still vivid in his mind. "Yeah, it really was. And um... you know that I'm sorry that the previous times weren't like that, right? It's still unexcusable how I behaved before and-"

Kirihara shushed Sanada by placing a long finger over his lips. He turned his head and kissed Sanada's chest sloppily. "It doesn't matter anymore. I don't care about that." He smiled innocently at his older boyfriend. "Besides, I kind of liked the other times, too..." he said with a wink.

Sanada whacked Kirihara's shoulder playfully. "I'm still sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you someday."

Kirihara looked thoughtful for a moment before grinning devilishly. "Or you could make it up to me right now!"

Before Sanada could react, Kirihara's lips were moving against his own. He smirked as he rolled over, on top of Kirihara. He really didn't know how everything would work out in the future, but at the moment, he didn't care.

Because what could he say? Kirihara made him lose control.

xxx

A/N: uhh yeah so that's it. not what I usually write, but I actually kinda liked this. I know it was rushed though... anyways, I got the idea because, after reading enough fanfics and just being on tumblr, I've somewhat made my own distinct definitions of "fuck", "have sex", and "make love" and what kind of connotations the different terms have. welp, thanks for reading, and please feel free to drop a review/critique or just fic requests or anything in general. thank you!