Quick note - I never really intended to publish anything but last night's episode left my mind swirling with all sorts of thoughts and this just kind of came to me. It's not perfect but I wanted to put it out there. Let me know what you think!

As he watches her walk out of the bullpen, Deeks is suddenly overcome with the need to see her one more time, to say something else even though he doesn't know what to say. He jogs toward the doors of the Mission and steps outside just as Kensi is putting her bag in the car.

"Hey Kens, wait up a second," he calls out to her before she has a chance to get in the driver's seat.

She's not really surprised that he caught up with her; she didn't even really expect to get all the way to her car before he came after her. She chuckles mostly to herself about her boyfriend's predictability and turns to face him.

"Deeks, it's still 'tonight'. Go home, spend some guy time with Monty, we'll celebrate the passing of our first fight tomorrow."

Her slight smile, that had been meant to portray the joking nature of her response, quickly fades when she realizes that he still has that sad, far off look in his eyes.

Deeks lets out a half-hearted chuckle, somewhat thankful that she's trying to keep things a bit light because it gives him the chance to reign in the tears threatening to escape. He stares at the ground for a few seconds before remembering that she is standing there, waiting for him to say whatever he came out here to say. He starts, hoping maybe a coherent thought will make its way from his brain to his mouth.

"Yeah, no, I just.. Uhh," he stammers out, releasing a huge sigh when he realizes he still doesn't have the words and that the tears he's struggling to hold on to are quickly gathering in his eyes.

Kensi's heart breaks a little seeing him struggle with the emotions swirling inside him and she steps toward him and opens her arms.

"Hey, come here," she says softly as she wraps her arms around his waist and pulls him close.

As his arms find their way around her shoulders and his head comes to rest on top of hers, she feels him let out a shaky breath. She begins to rub his back, hoping it offers even the smallest level of comfort.

"It's going to be okay, Deeks," she whispers into his chest.

Pulling back to look in her eyes, he gives a small nod then places a lingering kiss on her forehead, wishing he hadn't already offered a night off tonight because he's not really sure he wants to be alone with his thoughts of everything that had happened today. Ultimately, his desire to show Kensi that he is willing to compromise and to make sure he doesn't push her too much while their first fight is still so fresh, wins out and he decides that maybe he will be okay to go home by himself.

"Go home, I'll see you in the morning," he speaks softly and touches his forehead to hers.

He presses one last kiss to her temple before he steps out of their embrace. He offers her the tiniest of smiles, hoping to portray that he's good (or as good as he can be given the situation) and he turns to walk to his car.

Kensi knows he's not good but appreciates the space he's trying to give her and them even though she had assumed that of all nights, tonight is one they would spend together. Thinking that maybe he prefers to have time to himself tonight, she watches him walk away before thinking of one more thing to tell him.

"Deeks," she calls across the parking lot, "you know that if you need me, I can be there in 15 minutes. Night off or not, I'm here for you."

She needs him to know that even though she wants a little space every now and then, she never expects him to deal with anything on his own if he doesn't want to. She needs him to know he can always count on her, as his girlfriend, to be his rock the way that she knows that he will always be hers.

She is graced with a small, but genuine smile as he nods.

"I know, Kens. I know."

And with one last parting look, they both get into their cars and head their separate ways.

It's 3am and Kensi is lying in bed, wide awake, wishing she could get back to sleep. She's lying on the coveted right side of the bed, facing the side where Deeks had been less than 24 hours ago, finding that she wishes he was there again tonight. Even though she had climbed into bed and fallen asleep with her head in one corner and her legs stretched out in the opposite corner, apparently she had shifted in her sleep to make room for the body that usually occupied the other side of the bed. Reaching out to sweep her hand over the cold sheets, she figures she wouldn't be having trouble sleeping if he was there and it doesn't escape her just how quickly she's become accustomed to sharing a bed with him.

She's also worried about Deeks. No doubt, Thapa's death hit him hard and she is suddenly wishing that she had insisted that they could postpone their night off. Lying there for another 15 minutes, she gives up on sleep and decides the only way she's getting any rest is if she can see how he is doing. She reaches for her phone but after bringing his number up on the screen, decides she doesn't want to risk waking him if he is somehow getting any sleep right now. Throwing on some yoga pants and a hoodie, she grabs her badge, gun, and keys and heads out the door.

In the middle of the night, it's only 10 minutes later that Kensi is pulling into the parking lot outside of Deeks' apartment. Parking in the spot that has become "hers", she grabs her go-bag from the trunk, locks the car, and searches her keychain for the key to his apartment as she walks up the stairs. She is a couple of steps from his door when her phone starts ringing. The sound blaring into the still of the night startles her and she fumbles to pull the phone out of her pocket. A quick glance at the screen confirms that her late night caller is thankfully not work, but rather the very person she is on her way to see.

Connecting the call, she answers in a hushed voice, "Hey, are you okay?"

Her voice is laced with concern and understanding that, no, he's probably not okay given that he's calling in the middle of the night.

Deeks clears his throat on the other end of the line and she waits for him to talk. When a few silent seconds pass, she wonders if she should just let herself into the apartment. Just as she goes to put the key in the lock, he speaks.

"I, uhh, no. I can't… I.. I need to see you," his voice barely above a whisper and heavy with emotion and she has no doubts that he has been crying.

Kensi leans her head against his door, hating that she didn't decide to come see him sooner, knowing that he's been fighting this battle alone all night.

"Open your door, Deeks," she all but whispers in response.

Despite the circumstances that brought her here, she lets herself smile a little, glad that she had subconsciously anticipated his need for her. She hears him padding to the door and stands up straight as he flips the locks to open it.

He looks a little surprised to see her standing on his doorstep already but he says nothing as she enters and closes the door behind her. He pulls her into his arms, pressing his body as close to hers as he can get it and takes what feels like his first real breath in hours. He's been craving this contact all night and suddenly, he's kicking himself for holding out as long as he did before calling her.

Kensi is the first to pull back and when she looks in his eyes and sees the torment darkening his usually bright blue eyes, she pulls his face down to hers and places a slow, gentle kiss to his lips.

Resting her forehead on his chest, she speaks tenderly, "Talk to me, Deeks. Tell me what you need."

He takes a deep breath, filling his nose with the comforting scent of the woman he's fallen in love with, realizing that her smile isn't the only thing that is home for him. Deeks had come to understand, earlier in the bullpen, that Thapa wasn't wrong when he said that home isn't a place, but a feeling. But now, standing in his living room, Kensi in his arms, he realizes that it's not only her smile, but her scent, her touch and just her that ground him and remind him who he is. Home may be a feeling but it can also be a person and for him, he will always be home when he is with her.

"You already know what I need," he finally responds, "you're here."