GRIM FALLS: reality version

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

THESE FAIRY TALES ARE MUCH TOO CLEAN!

SO DULL AND DRY, A LIFELESS DREAM!

I'LL BREW EM' BLEAK!

I'LL CRAFT EM' DARK!

TO MAKE EM' GRIM AS MY OWN HEART!

MY GUTS FILL UP WITH "PRETTY TALES"!

THEIR PRISSY CUTENESS NEVER FAILS, TO MAKE ME PUKE!

TO LOSE MY WITS!

TO ROT MY TEETH!

AND GIVE ME FITS!

UP THE RANCID, STALE AND FOUL!

DESPISE THE HAPPY ENDING!

GROSS AND NASTY MAKE ME HOWL!

THOUGH THEY MAYBE OFFENDING!

I'M HERE TO TELL TRUE TALES OF BLIGHT!

OF FEAR, AND WOE. BRING BACK THE NIGHT!

I HATE DUMB LUCK! I ADORE UPCHUCK!

MY HUMBLE GOAL IS TO RUN AMUCK!

…...

Grim cleared his throat as he faced the audience. "Alright ladies and

gentlemen. The fairy tale fad is starting to grow stale again. So I've decided to

expand my operations to other media's...the first on the chopping

block...Gravity falls"- Grim paused to roll his eyes. "And no, none of the

people on that project were smoking anything when they made up that

name...Although it probably would have made more sense if they

did...Anyway, our story starts off with-" Grim then let's out a snort of

annoyance. "Okay, you know what? You've heard it all before- Parents get sick

of kids cramping their style. Kick them out of the house for a Quote "Vacation"

Unquote. The twins Dipper and Mabel get sent far away to a rinky-dink town

in the middle of nowhere with a senile, negligent, shyster of a relative who

they've never seen before in their life." Grim shook his head in disbelief.

"Sheesh, mom and dad. Wouldn't feeding them cyanide have been simpler?"

Asked a perplexed Grim. "Anyway, fast forward a couple of weeks. Dipper

pines happens upon by...dumb luck." Grim growls under his breath as he

mumbles that last part. "A mysterious book of unnatural knowledge and

unknown origin." Grim face palms himself. "Oh, wow. Real original...That's

not cliche at all." Grim then clears his throat. "Moving on...after this

discovery his sister mabel begins to date someone. Dipper of course suspects

him of supernatural origins"- Grim can only snort in astonishment. "Seriously?

That's what your worried about? Not the fact he's clearly several years older

than her. Or the fact he looked like he just walked out of an edition of serial

killer monthly? Come on boy, I know this is a supernatural themed show- But

come on man! It's your sister! Get your priorities straight! If not for her sake,

than for your's! Seriously, it's probably that kind of thinking that got you

kicked out of your house!" Grim again cleared his throat to continue.

"Shockingly, said grim sarcastically". "Mabel disregards her brothers

worries...as well as the most important lesson parents and teachers alike have

been shoving down the throats of children since they were little. Never go to a

dark, remote area. With a person who you barely know. Especially with

someone who towers over you!...so of course she dose just that...As much as

I'd like to say that her idiocy gave her the horrific end she had coming...Well,

odds are if your reading this you already know that's not true." Grim let out a

disappointed sigh. "Right, let's just speed this along. The guys revealed to be a

bunch of gnomes. Yada. Yada. Kidnaps her. Blah. Blah. Blah. Dipper rescues

her. Whoop-de-freaking-do! They triumph in the end...and I think there was

supposed to be a lesson or something...about trust or teamwork or

whatever...Ah, who cares?" Grim took a second to get the bad taste of the story

out of his mouth. He then took a deep breath to compose himself. "Okay, our

time here is limited. So I'm not even going to get into the whole "convenient

finding of the cliched-Macguffin right before he needs it" shtick...or

whatever insanity possessed their parents to send them to this stinking cesspit

of a town...But I will rant about mable's comeuppance...or rather her lack of

any! Seriously, she broke the cardinal rule of children's safety and endangered

not only her life but her brother's!...and dose she at least get grounded for her

incompetence? Grim pauses for dramatic effect. "NO! All she gets is a pat on

the back and a grappling Hook!" Grim chuckled at this last bit. "Well,okay.

That hook bit was actually funny...dare I say even endearing...BUT

REGARDLESS! If you like stories were the naive and incompetent are taught a

lesson they aren't soon to forget...READ ON!"...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.

But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?

Also this is an example of my "GRIMM TALES" challenge. For more info on this and other challenges read my profile!

also, could someone contact the deviant artist Markmak or show me how to contact him? I'd like to talk to him, but the computer won't let me comment on my deviantart account.

Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!

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