This fic is dedicated to Sailor Ronin Usa-chan and D-chan.
I would like to remind everyone that this is for laughs, but "at the root of jest is often found truth."
READ THIS!!!
Fic's Purpose:
First of all, this fic is not meant to insult Usagi. I myself am a fan of Usagi-based fics; it is pretty much all I
write. However, I have noticed an incredible number of cliches and OOC-ness within such fics in the HP/SM genre.
I realize I am probably guilty of using some of them myself.
This fic...
It is an attempt at alerting authors within this category to the existing cliches and OOCness,
in the hopes that they will steer clear in their own writings. It is a slapstick attempt at making fun of OOCness and
use of cliches in the Harry Potter/ Sailor Moon crossover fic genre. No I do not hate Usagi. Yes, I am probably guilty
of some of these cliches/ OOC instances myself.
However, I and a select few other authors are trying to improve our works, and hope that the outside majority will
take note and do the same.
I do not own Harry Potter or Sailor Moon.
______________________
OOC: Harry Potter Style!
Part 1
By August Sere
______________________
It was not so much the fact that Usagi was particularly gifted as that she was Usagi. Being herself, and for reasons
based on bloodline rather than merit, she had inherited a myriad of powers. These powers included a crystal which reacted
to her every whim, a natural penchant for attracting nearly every male within 5 miles, and an innate inability to stand her
ground against emotional challenges.
So it was not suprising when the following happened. Not unusual at all.
----------
"Rei! Mamoru!" Usagi was speechless at having found the two in bed together. "How could you?!"
"Well, Usagi... Despite all loyalty we've ever felt for you, and the protection we've afforded you even by sacrificing
ourselves to guard you, a sudden stir of sexual attraction found us here, together." Rei smiled. "So, you see, it was
really quite easy. We simply ignored all respect we had for you, all concern for your feelings, and all the loyalty which
has caused us to willingly die for you on several occasions... And threw it out the window on a whim, because Mamoru had
an itch." Mamoru grinned at this, raising a hand in salutation.
"Yo."
"Got the popcorn!" Minako walked in, balancing a large bowl of popcorn and a case of soda with her arms. Only then did
Usagi notice the other inner senshi sitting on a couch in the corner of the room. She gasped.
"Minna?! You knew about this??"
Makoto nodded. "Of course! Now, even though none of this makes sense at all, we feel obligated now to insult you cruelly,
Usagi, until you either run away, or go through some ultimate transformation which enables you to beat
us all down. Sorry about all this, by the way. It was either Rei and Mamoru cheating on you, or we all had to die to
protect you and/or the earth and/or light and goodness," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "again."
Ami piped in. "Not wanting to die, we of course chose this completely unfounded and implausible betrayal."
Minako nodded, and started off with a well-rehearsed speech, speaking drolly.
"We think you are dumb and lazy. You are also a klutz." She appeared to think for a moment. "One of us will make a better
leader than you, and though we are not sure who yet, it will probably be Rei, as she is the one getting nookie from the
earth prince." Minako paused, and looked down at her nails.
"In conclusion, we hate you." Makoto yawned, and halfheartedly continued. "Give us the crystal, or die."
"Minna!!!!!!" Usagi screamed, and was suddenly overcome with an obviously new transformation, which was quite flashy.
When the light died down, there was Cosmos.
"I am Cosmos," Usagi spoke. "I dislike you all for betraying me, I am now infinitely more powerful than you, and so now
I will strip you of your powers. Not to mention, I have a way cooler costume." She grinned and looked down, before ridding
the inner senshi of their natural powers. She ignored the fact that she really didn't have the right to take them away; she
did not own any planets and their respective powers, other than the moon.
The inner senshi- now civilians- gasped as Usagi continued. "Now, I will faint for good measure, having beaten you all
down, and being unable to deal with emotional conflict..." And so she did faint, waking up at the time gates a few hours
later. At least it appeared she was at the gates. Yep... There was Setsuna, there were the gates, and there was her queen
mother, Selenity, chasing... a phoenix?
"Come here you wretch!!" Usagi watched as her late mother chased the bird around, grabbing at it unsuccessfully every
time the creature flew into the air. However, for some reason, the phoenix was unable to get very far off of the ground, and
so Selenity was finally able to snatch a feather. With an indignant squawk, the enraged phoenix disappeared.
"Mother? Setsuna? Why am I here?" Usagi ventured.
"My daughter, you have always been unhappy, ne?"
"Well, actually-" Usagi's negatement of her mother's words was cut off by Setsuna.
"You have always hidden your true self, princess."
"No I haven-" Usagi was becoming irritated.
"So, we are going to send you to find your soul mate," spoke Selenity to her daughter.
"What?? What kind of idiotic conclusion is *that*?! You think I'm unhappy and secretive, and so you send me to find a man??
Do you really think I'm that shallow?" Usagi said, looking disgusted. "Ugh... Where are you sending me, anyway?"
"We are sending you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
Usagi looked at Setsuna. "Oh, brilliant. And how did you decide that, may I ask? I'm not a witch." She raised an eyebrow.
"We played darts," spoke her mother. I made a list of possible candidates and their locations, and we threw darts until we
hit one of the names on the list." Her mother scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. "It took awhile... My aim
wasn't too good..."
Usagi remembered the injured phoenix. "You hit the BIRD??!"
"Only once!" said Selenity quickly, before a look from Setsuna caused her to speak again. "...Twice."
Usagi sighed. "I don't believe this," she said, massaging her temples with her fingers. "Please, tell me you decided
on the list of candidates more logically."
"Of course!" Selenity chirped, and Usagi let out a sigh in relief. "We picked the cutest ones!" Usagi facefaulted.
"Let me get this straight. You think my soulmate is a cute guy-"
"Always the best for my daughter!"
"-a cute guy, whom you CHOSE USING DARTS?!"
Setsuna frowned. "It sounded better when we thought of it earlier." She shrugged her shoulders. "Too late now. Anyway,
Princess, here's your wand. 11 1/2 inches, Lunar Tree, Phoenix feather, tears of the moon princess, moondust, and star's
essence."
"Don't you think that's overkill, Setsuna? All those rare things, just for me??"
"Well, you are the moon princess." Usagi, though thinking that was a stupid explanation, sighed, and took the wand.
"That phoenix was rather selfish when it came to giving the feather, though. He said you shouldn't get everything just
because you are a princess of the moon." Her mother scoffed. "What does he know?!"
"Now, princess," spoke Setsuna, "Please ignore the fact that I control time and not dimensions, and so none of this
is plausible, and jump into the portal there," she said, gesturing toward a swirling vortex.
"Why does it have to be a portal??" Usagi was confused. "Why can't I just use the time gates??"
"Because it is ALWAYS a portal!!" Setsuna slammed the garnet rod upon the ground. "Just do it!!"
Usagi sighed, and jumped in. The last words she heard were her mother's voice calling after her, "If anyone asks, just
say you are a transfer student!"
--------------------------
Now, please write a review. If you want to flame me for whatever reason, please do so.
If you want to write a "XD" or "ROTFLMAO" or whatever, go ahead.
If you want to write something else, be my guest.
Please refrain from writing nothing, however. If you write nothing, I may either run away, or go through some ultimate
transformation which will enable me to beat you down.
No, I am not Usagi.
I am August Sere.
Ja ne!!
I would like to remind everyone that this is for laughs, but "at the root of jest is often found truth."
READ THIS!!!
Fic's Purpose:
First of all, this fic is not meant to insult Usagi. I myself am a fan of Usagi-based fics; it is pretty much all I
write. However, I have noticed an incredible number of cliches and OOC-ness within such fics in the HP/SM genre.
I realize I am probably guilty of using some of them myself.
This fic...
It is an attempt at alerting authors within this category to the existing cliches and OOCness,
in the hopes that they will steer clear in their own writings. It is a slapstick attempt at making fun of OOCness and
use of cliches in the Harry Potter/ Sailor Moon crossover fic genre. No I do not hate Usagi. Yes, I am probably guilty
of some of these cliches/ OOC instances myself.
However, I and a select few other authors are trying to improve our works, and hope that the outside majority will
take note and do the same.
I do not own Harry Potter or Sailor Moon.
______________________
OOC: Harry Potter Style!
Part 1
By August Sere
______________________
It was not so much the fact that Usagi was particularly gifted as that she was Usagi. Being herself, and for reasons
based on bloodline rather than merit, she had inherited a myriad of powers. These powers included a crystal which reacted
to her every whim, a natural penchant for attracting nearly every male within 5 miles, and an innate inability to stand her
ground against emotional challenges.
So it was not suprising when the following happened. Not unusual at all.
----------
"Rei! Mamoru!" Usagi was speechless at having found the two in bed together. "How could you?!"
"Well, Usagi... Despite all loyalty we've ever felt for you, and the protection we've afforded you even by sacrificing
ourselves to guard you, a sudden stir of sexual attraction found us here, together." Rei smiled. "So, you see, it was
really quite easy. We simply ignored all respect we had for you, all concern for your feelings, and all the loyalty which
has caused us to willingly die for you on several occasions... And threw it out the window on a whim, because Mamoru had
an itch." Mamoru grinned at this, raising a hand in salutation.
"Yo."
"Got the popcorn!" Minako walked in, balancing a large bowl of popcorn and a case of soda with her arms. Only then did
Usagi notice the other inner senshi sitting on a couch in the corner of the room. She gasped.
"Minna?! You knew about this??"
Makoto nodded. "Of course! Now, even though none of this makes sense at all, we feel obligated now to insult you cruelly,
Usagi, until you either run away, or go through some ultimate transformation which enables you to beat
us all down. Sorry about all this, by the way. It was either Rei and Mamoru cheating on you, or we all had to die to
protect you and/or the earth and/or light and goodness," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "again."
Ami piped in. "Not wanting to die, we of course chose this completely unfounded and implausible betrayal."
Minako nodded, and started off with a well-rehearsed speech, speaking drolly.
"We think you are dumb and lazy. You are also a klutz." She appeared to think for a moment. "One of us will make a better
leader than you, and though we are not sure who yet, it will probably be Rei, as she is the one getting nookie from the
earth prince." Minako paused, and looked down at her nails.
"In conclusion, we hate you." Makoto yawned, and halfheartedly continued. "Give us the crystal, or die."
"Minna!!!!!!" Usagi screamed, and was suddenly overcome with an obviously new transformation, which was quite flashy.
When the light died down, there was Cosmos.
"I am Cosmos," Usagi spoke. "I dislike you all for betraying me, I am now infinitely more powerful than you, and so now
I will strip you of your powers. Not to mention, I have a way cooler costume." She grinned and looked down, before ridding
the inner senshi of their natural powers. She ignored the fact that she really didn't have the right to take them away; she
did not own any planets and their respective powers, other than the moon.
The inner senshi- now civilians- gasped as Usagi continued. "Now, I will faint for good measure, having beaten you all
down, and being unable to deal with emotional conflict..." And so she did faint, waking up at the time gates a few hours
later. At least it appeared she was at the gates. Yep... There was Setsuna, there were the gates, and there was her queen
mother, Selenity, chasing... a phoenix?
"Come here you wretch!!" Usagi watched as her late mother chased the bird around, grabbing at it unsuccessfully every
time the creature flew into the air. However, for some reason, the phoenix was unable to get very far off of the ground, and
so Selenity was finally able to snatch a feather. With an indignant squawk, the enraged phoenix disappeared.
"Mother? Setsuna? Why am I here?" Usagi ventured.
"My daughter, you have always been unhappy, ne?"
"Well, actually-" Usagi's negatement of her mother's words was cut off by Setsuna.
"You have always hidden your true self, princess."
"No I haven-" Usagi was becoming irritated.
"So, we are going to send you to find your soul mate," spoke Selenity to her daughter.
"What?? What kind of idiotic conclusion is *that*?! You think I'm unhappy and secretive, and so you send me to find a man??
Do you really think I'm that shallow?" Usagi said, looking disgusted. "Ugh... Where are you sending me, anyway?"
"We are sending you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
Usagi looked at Setsuna. "Oh, brilliant. And how did you decide that, may I ask? I'm not a witch." She raised an eyebrow.
"We played darts," spoke her mother. I made a list of possible candidates and their locations, and we threw darts until we
hit one of the names on the list." Her mother scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. "It took awhile... My aim
wasn't too good..."
Usagi remembered the injured phoenix. "You hit the BIRD??!"
"Only once!" said Selenity quickly, before a look from Setsuna caused her to speak again. "...Twice."
Usagi sighed. "I don't believe this," she said, massaging her temples with her fingers. "Please, tell me you decided
on the list of candidates more logically."
"Of course!" Selenity chirped, and Usagi let out a sigh in relief. "We picked the cutest ones!" Usagi facefaulted.
"Let me get this straight. You think my soulmate is a cute guy-"
"Always the best for my daughter!"
"-a cute guy, whom you CHOSE USING DARTS?!"
Setsuna frowned. "It sounded better when we thought of it earlier." She shrugged her shoulders. "Too late now. Anyway,
Princess, here's your wand. 11 1/2 inches, Lunar Tree, Phoenix feather, tears of the moon princess, moondust, and star's
essence."
"Don't you think that's overkill, Setsuna? All those rare things, just for me??"
"Well, you are the moon princess." Usagi, though thinking that was a stupid explanation, sighed, and took the wand.
"That phoenix was rather selfish when it came to giving the feather, though. He said you shouldn't get everything just
because you are a princess of the moon." Her mother scoffed. "What does he know?!"
"Now, princess," spoke Setsuna, "Please ignore the fact that I control time and not dimensions, and so none of this
is plausible, and jump into the portal there," she said, gesturing toward a swirling vortex.
"Why does it have to be a portal??" Usagi was confused. "Why can't I just use the time gates??"
"Because it is ALWAYS a portal!!" Setsuna slammed the garnet rod upon the ground. "Just do it!!"
Usagi sighed, and jumped in. The last words she heard were her mother's voice calling after her, "If anyone asks, just
say you are a transfer student!"
--------------------------
Now, please write a review. If you want to flame me for whatever reason, please do so.
If you want to write a "XD" or "ROTFLMAO" or whatever, go ahead.
If you want to write something else, be my guest.
Please refrain from writing nothing, however. If you write nothing, I may either run away, or go through some ultimate
transformation which will enable me to beat you down.
No, I am not Usagi.
I am August Sere.
Ja ne!!