This one was so much fun! Probably too much fun to be honest! But oh well! It's Gajucy! That's all that matters!

In other news, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate all of you. I know I don't say it enough, but it's true. Your reviews encourage me more than you know. They make me laugh and smile and at times when your words hit me hard, cry. It means the world to me that you keep reading my work, that you keep reviewing even though I update so slowly lately.

And then there was yesterday. That one-shot for AU had me feeling so concerned, so shaking in myself, and then, you guys reviewed. It honestly made me tear up to see such support. So please...don't ever think that your words don't mean anything. Sometimes, they are the only thing that stands between me and a complete and utter meltdown about my writing abilities. You guys are incredible, and I won't ever forget it!

And now that the sappy stuff is outta the way, *wipes tear from my eyes* we can get back to the story...

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail. (Cause you know if I did, there'd be Gajucy EVERYWHERE!)

RULES

Lucy was a smart girl. She may not be the bravest, but she'd always felt complete confidence in her ability to think her way out of any situation, and yet now, when she needed that skill the most, it was as if it had never existed in the first place. Her skill at tactful retreat seemed to have abandoned her too, and it was all because of Mira.

Well, more accurately, it was because she'd opened her big mouth to the love-crazy barmaid, but while she was hanging out in her own mind, she was definitely laying it all on Mira. Because while she'd blathered on about her secret crush on Gajeel, she hadn't done anything to initiate a response from him and therefore hadn't put herself in a position to be embarrassed when he told her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out.

And that was why it was all Mira's fault.

The woman just couldn't leave well enough alone. In hindsight, Lucy should have realized the outcome of flapping her gums so wholeheartedly, but she'd been frustrated and lonely. And apparently, that particular combination tends to morph normally brilliant people into raging idiots.

Hence her present situation.

She'd tried to get out of it, tried every avenue of escape she could think of, but the white-haired spawn of Romantic Hell wouldn't hear of it. She'd demanded, demon takeover hovering just beneath the surface, that Lucy 'park her perky ass in a seat and stay there'.

So what did she do? Exactly as the crazy woman commanded. After all, Lucy was the smart one. Who knew what would happen to her if she disobeyed?

Still, she couldn't keep the blush from her cheeks when Gajeel dropped himself into the seat beside her with a grunt of annoyance. She chanced a glance in his direction and found him studying her just as intently. Her lips lifted into a shaky grin, and then she looked away. She wanted to groan in humiliation at her reaction to him. She must look like a total moron, all shy and nervous like this. What guy wanted that in a girl?

Lucy sighed. Already, she felt defeated. They hadn't even started this damn game Mira had come up with, and she'd already come to grips with losing. She didn't know why the damn woman was doing this to her. She'd never been anything but kind to the pretty and altogether deadly barmaid, so why would she put her through such an embarrassing situation?

Chancing another peek out of the corner of her eye at the man beside her, she swallowed hard. He was too damn hot. She would never get through this. She could see it now, the air leaving her lungs, her heart throbbing so hard in her chest, then breaking free and killing her. Yes, this would be the site of her demise, and she fully intended to haunt the hell out of Mira afterwards. The woman would have no peace, and Mavis help her when she found her own crush to pine for.

"Do you know what the hell we're doing?"

Lucy turned like those slow-moving zombies in the movies, her eyes widening slightly in what she knew was guilt. She couldn't help wondering if it was flashing across her face in neon lights. 'It's my fault you're here! It's my fault!'

Thankfully, she was saved from answering by Mira clearing her throat. Had to be the only helpful thing the woman had done all damn day.

"Let's get started! Girls, in front of you, you'll find a piece of paper and an envelope. These envelopes contain a stack of notecards. Each contains a question or a statement for your partner." She waited until she'd received several relieved nods before she added, "But there are some rules. You'll find those on the paper. Go ahead and read it aloud."

The blonde lifted the scrap cautiously, feeling every bit like she was picking up a rattlesnake, and then she unfolded it. "O-Okay...it says, 'Rule #1: Read every single question/statement aloud to your partner. Rule #2: No changing the questions/statements. Rule #3: No changing the order of the questions/statements.' Okay, that doesn't sound too bad."

She looked up and found Gajeel with a bored expression on his face, and she sighed again. This was hopeless.

"Alright guys, your turn. Pick up the paper in front of you and read it to your partners," Mira chirped with a sly smile. "And remember, you all agreed to this beforehand..."

Her threat hung in the air, and the guild went silent as each participant shivered in fear. A pointed look from Mira had the guys scrambling, and before even a moment had passed, they had their pages in hand.

"Crazy ass woman..." Gajeel muttered softly, receiving twin snorts from Natsu and Laxus across the room. "Alright, it says, 'Rule #1: No arguing with the question/statement. Rule #2: Every question/statement requires a response. Rule #3: Every question/statement must be answered with..."

He trailed off there, his brow winging up in disbelief. "What the fuck..."

"What is it?" Lucy asked, leaning forward to see what had so confounded the normally unshakable man.

Her eyes widened comically when he turned it to toward her and she saw what was printed on the page.

Rule #3: Every question/statement must be answered with 'Yes Master', 'I live to serve', or 'I await your command'.

"Oh...my...God..." She really should have known something like this would happen. This was Mira, after all. The woman was 50 shades too crazy for the nut house. But oh heavens...what was she supposed to do now?

The blonde wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor beneath her feet. She couldn't help wondering if Gajeel could tell this was all her fault. Did he know she'd been the one to send Mira straight off the deep end with this insanity?

"Hey what the fuck is this? I'm not saying this shit!" Laxus shouted, and several others (Gajeel, Gray, and Natsu included) joined in, gaining confidence from the lightning slayer's aggressive retort.

But Lucy knew it was useless. No one could stand against Mira when she was on a shipping high, and really, they should have known better. Almost instantly, Mira's demon form erupted into view, a violent scowl marring her pretty features and turning her into a frightening psycho.

"What was that?" she hissed, her magic crackling about her. "Are you telling me no?"

Laxus' jaw clenched, but he said nothing in response, his sense of self-preservation finally kicking in. She watched him for another handful of seconds, and then the demonic haze fell away, transforming her back into her bright cheerful self. "Wonderful!" she cooed, clasping her hands together. "Then let's get started!"

The white-haired woman turned in Lucy's direction and smiled, a wink following shortly thereafter. The blonde flushed and looked around to make sure no one had seen anything. She couldn't have everyone finding out about her interest in her partner. She'd never live it down.

"Damn woman drives me nuts. Let's just get this fucking game over with," Gajeel grunted, sending a glare at the back of the barmaid's head.

At least he knew better than to do it where she could see. Inexplicably, that made Lucy proud. Her crush was smart...just like her.

"Okay," Lucy agreed, forcing herself to ignore his proximity. She couldn't very well focus if she was fawning over his delectable body. Clearing her throat, she lifted the top card and began to read.

"First question. 'Do you think I'm-" Lucy froze as the words caught up with her. She shot a look of disbelief at the other woman.

Was she insane? How freaking obvious could she get with these questions?

She felt her cheeks flame at the thought of asking him such a thing. She just couldn't do it! And yet, she knew Mira would have her ass if she didn't. Oh why did Mira hate her so much?

A nervous giggle forced its way up her throat as her eyes met Gajeel's expectant gaze. "W-We don't have to do this one..." Even as she said it, she knew it wasn't true. Mira would never let her slide.

And sure enough, as if she had radar for weak-willed women, Mira appeared next to Lucy and lifted a finely arched brow. "What was that?"

"Nothing!" Lucy squeaked, going rigid in her seat. "Just about to read the first one."

Mira beamed in response. "Excellent. Don't let me stop you then."

With that, she waltzed away, checking on the other 'couples' as she headed back toward the front of the room. Lucy sighed in defeat, then picked up the card again. She kept her eyes firmly set on the words before her. She didn't dare look at the man in front of her lest she expire of humiliation.

"Do you...do you think I'm hot?" she mumbled, hoping rather pitifully he wouldn't hear her. Or maybe he'd just pretend he hadn't. Yeah that would be nice.

Except he didn't. This was Gajeel she was talking about. A snort came from across the table, and before Lucy could rethink the action, she looked up to see Gajeel grinning.

"Is that all?" He chuckled at her, then lifted his head in a quick nod. "Yeah, you're hot."

"Excuse me, Gajeel?" Mira hummed from just beside their table.

Where the hell the woman had come from, Lucy had no idea because she had definitely not been there a moment ago. But that didn't even matter at the moment. What was important was that Gajeel just said she was hot! That was earth-shattering, like tsunami blasting through her brain earth-shattering! Who the hell cared that his answer hadn't followed the rules?

Gajeel growled low at Mira's openly hostile insistence, then muttered a soft, "Yes Master."

And okay, maybe she did enjoy that a little bit. Call her crazy, but hearing those words come out of his mouth had her picturing all sorts of naughty things, things better left deep within the recesses of her mind. Only now, there were squarely planted right there at the front of her pervy little brain, as if waiting for the next response he gave.

A blush fused its way onto her cheeks as Mira disappeared once more, leaving her with a stack of cards that were almost guaranteed to be worse than the first. How in the world was she supposed to get through the rest of these when the very first one already had her redder than Erza's hair?

Steeling herself for what awaited her, she withdrew the next card. "O-Okay, here's the second one. Do you like your women with... Oh Mavis..."

Lucy found herself hunching in on herself, trying like hell to shield her very prominent chest from view. She couldn't believe Mira had thrown that in there. But really why not? The woman had no filter, no moral compass when she went bat shit crazy over a couple. She was just the unlucky, cough ignorant cough, person to have fallen into Mira's trap.

"Come on, Bunny Girl," Gajeel smirked, his expression saying plainly that he had already worked out what the card said. "Don't you wanna hear my answer?"

Why did he look so smug? Wasn't he the one so supremely annoyed in the beginning? Clearing her throat, Lucy licked her lips and forced the words out of her mouth. "Do you like your women with l-large b-breasts?"

It took no more than the last word clearing my throat for me to flush hotly again. Gajeel however apparently found it amusing as hell if that cocky grin was any indication. Asshole.

He studied her for a moment, his eyes dipping down to her chest a time or two before he gave his exaggerated answer. "Hell yes...Master."

Lucy gaped at him, her embarrassment complete in spite of his compliment. At least she thought it qualified as a compliment. She wasn't quite sure though. Did it actually count if someone else made you say it?

Still, she couldn't look him in the eye knowing he did in fact like big boobs and she was sitting there was barely a scrap covering hers. Why the hell had she worn this damn tube top?!

Berating herself for her poor choice in attire, Lucy drew in a long breath and decided to just get through the rest as quickly as possible. All she'd agreed to was playing the game, and as far as the rules said, that only meant she had to read the cards and get a response. Then she could leave and hide out under her bed for a month. Maybe by then, Gajeel would have forgotten everything.

"Next one," she said firmly, straightening her back before realizing she was pushing her chest out. Deflated, she let her back hunch again, pulling another laugh from Gajeel. Ignoring that, she continued, "Are you any good in bed?"

Immediately, she let her head drop to the table. Why had she just blurted it out like that? It sounded like she was asking for references!

But the dragon slayer started cracking up. Whether it was from her reaction to the question or the question itself, she didn't know. Somehow, though, she felt like he was laughing at her...a lot.

"Am I any good in bed," he repeated, his voice dipping with mirth. "I think I gotta say...I live to serve."

Lucy's head whipped up. Was he seriously getting into this? And dear Mavis, the thoughts his words inspired. She could only imagine his skill in the sack, his movements, his attention to detail...

Oh she was in so much trouble. There were still a number of cards left in her hand, and already she was losing control of her frightfully detailed imagination. Shifting nervously in her seat, she turned her attention back to the demonic little objects in her hand and coughed. "Let's move on. Here's the fourth one. I need...a real man."

She shook her head in annoyance. Really? Like everyone didn't know she was almost perpetually dateless. Did Mira really have to point it out so blatantly?

Gajeel snorted, emphasizing a very distinct, "Yes Master."

Instantly, she shot him a glare. Like he was any better. He wasn't dating anyone either! And thank Mavis for that. It probably would have killed Lucy to see that. Actually it probably would have killed the other girl, but really...that was just details.

Sticking her tongue out at the man across from her, she flipped to the next card. "Number five. Talk dirty to me...Oh what the hell is this?"

A bark of laughter sounded from across the table, and Lucy couldn't help but look up to see. It was such a rare thing for Gajeel to really let loose, and Lucy couldn't bring herself to miss it, even if it was at her expense. Later, she would change her mind, but at that moment, she could only think it was worth it. All this craziness was worth it if only to see that open smile on his face.

And then he ruined it all. "You like dirty talk, huh? What a naughty little Bunny."

"I didn't say that! The card did!" Lucy fired back, her face flushing bright red at his insinuation.

"Sounded like you."

A pout marring her face, the blonde thrust a finger at him. "You know Mira made me say it!"

Gajeel smirked, then glanced around the room. "Funny...I don't see her anywhere."

A quick glance around revealed his words to be truth, and Lucy had a moment to wonder if she could escape to safety before the woman came back. Those hopes were dashed though when Gajeel reminded her, "I wouldn't try it. She'll skin you alive."

Lucy sank in her seat once more and let her head fall dejectedly. "This isn't fair. Why do I have to ask all the embarrassing questions?" she whined.

Before she could react, Gajeel leaned across the table and snatched the cards from her hand. "Fine then. You answer them."

The stunned Celestial mage stared at him in horror as she realized what she'd just done. She'd unintentionally given him everything he needed to find out all about her secret crush on him. Oh why the hell had she said that?!

"No. Oh no no no...it's...it's fine," she managed to croak, pushing a poor excuse for a smile onto her face. "I'll ask them."

But Gajeel was sporting that smug grin again. "No, I'm good like this." He settled back in his chair and lifted the cards up, his smile widening as he read over the next card. "First question, Bunny Girl. Do you ever fantasize about me?"

If there was a chance in hell she could have made it out the door, Lucy would have taken it. Honestly, she was half tempted to just make a break for it. She might just die by Mira's hands, but she would happily perish if only she could leave Gajeel ignorant of her response to that particular question.

Fate however had deigned to ignore her pleas. Just as she'd shifted to pull her legs from underneath the table, the current bane of Lucy's existence appeared. "How's it going over here?" Mira asked, an entirely too cheerful lifting to her lips. "Oh I see you've switched! What a wonderful idea!"

Lucy groaned as Mira ran off, telling every other couple to trade off like they had. She'd thought for an instant she was in the clear, and then the damn woman had to ruin it all again. Why, oh why did she hate her so much?!

"Let's hear it, Bunny Girl."

The damn man was so sure of himself, and Lucy wished like hell she could lie. But with Mira prowling around so closely, that was about as far from a viable possibility as Lucy suddenly waking up with a flat chest. An aggrieved sigh pushing its way up from her chest, the blonde muttered a quiet, "Yes."

A deep chuckle increased her discomfort, then Gajeel hummed. "I don't think that's the right answer, Bunny."

Feeling heat crawl up her neck, Lucy forced herself to correct what she'd said. "Yes...Master."

And why the hell did that make her hot? And not the humiliated kind, though that was there too. But there was something...intimate about addressing him in such a way. Before she could retract the thought, her mind start flying, spitting out image after image of Gajeel dominating her, cuffing her hands to the rails of her bed.

Another wash of heat flared through her body, and she blushed even harder as she fought to tamp it down. She couldn't believe she was letting this get to her this way.

A quick glance up, and she knew Gajeel had noticed her discomfort. Whether he knew just what had caused it remained to be seen, but she sincerely hoped not. Already, she was certain she wouldn't survive this. If he knew just what was going on in the privacy of her brain...well, there wasn't a hole big enough to hide her in.

"Ready for the next one, dirty girl?" he asked, holding the stack up and lifting a brow as he read the new card. "Damn...that woman is crazy as hell."

He hadn't even read the damn thing out loud and Lucy already wanted to run. What could it be? It had to be worse, but what could be worse than admitting she fantasized about him?

She shouldn't have even asked. Why the hell did she keep asking that?!

"Well, this says 'I want to have your babies', but since we changed it around, I guess it would be, 'I want you to have my babies'."

This was it, the moment lightning needed to strike her dead. She wondered briefly if she could convince the blonde dragon slayer across the room to zap her a few times. Then again, that wasn't really the issue. As motivated as she was, Lucy was sure she could piss the man off enough to invoke such a response, but she'd never make it. Mira was pacing the surrounding areas as if anticipating someone doing just that.

But she couldn't know Lucy was considering it.

Except she could, and she did. The white-haired woman glanced over to her with a frown, then flicked her eyes toward Laxus and back to her before shaking her head firmly. Leaving Lucy to her fate, or doom as the blonde was currently seeing things, Mira turned away.

Her eyes were wide. She knew it as surely as she knew her life was about to become exceedingly more complicated. She couldn't answer that, because the truth was she'd envisioned popping out more of that man's children than she was physically capable of. But she couldn't just ignore it either.

Maybe she could play it off. Gajeel had thought the question was nuts too. Maybe he'd let her off easy this time.

Tossing him a shaky smile, Lucy joked, "I await your command."

Immediately, Lucy knew she'd made a mistake. It was made unerringly clear by the shrill squeal that came from all the way across the hall. She looked back at the white-haired woman with hearts in her eyes and couldn't help wondering how the hell she'd even heard it from that far away. Maybe the demon was secretly a dragon slayer too.

She paled as she considered that. That would make her even more horrifying.

Figuring on Gajeel being the safer place for her eyes, she turned around, but decided the very next moment that she'd screwed up again. He was lounged back in his seat like he had her all figured out. More than anything, she noticed he was amused, the slight crinkling at the corner of his eyes giving her the first clue. Even his lips were twitching.

She very nearly groaned at her bad luck. She'd wanted him to notice her, to want her body, but she sure as hell hadn't wanted to lay her cards out on the table like this. Stupid Mira...

"Last one, Bunny Girl." He waved the single card in the air before holding it steady, and then he grinned at her. "Would you go out with me?"

Lucy's breath left her in a loud puff, but she had to admit she was relieved. This one wasn't so bad. She'd already admitted far worse. This was easy. A soft smile touching her lips, she answered, "I await your command."

Realizing her time in this game was over had a huge weight lifting off her shoulders, and Lucy stood to her feet. She honestly couldn't wait to get back home and spare herself any more embarrassment, however when she turned to leave, Gajeel called out to her again.

"Hang on a second."

Her forehead wrinkling in surprise, Lucy looked back. "Yeah?"

"Got one more for ya," he said, standing to his feet.

Lucy stared at him in dumbfounded silence, wondering what he was talking about. Had he miscounted? Had he somehow missed one of Mira's demeaning questions?

"But you said we were done." She wanted to cry...literally just sit down on the floor and pitch one hell of a fit. So close to salvation, and once more, she was sucked back in.

But her frustration with the situation was quickly shut down when Gajeel moved closer, his face becoming serious and his red eyes taking on a darker hue. She'd never seen him like this before. He wasn't angry or stern, just...intense. And that intensity made her nervous because she had no idea why it was happening.

Then he spoke...and she was still just as lost as she'd been before.

"This one's mine."

What did that even mean? She looked up at his face, having to tilt her head back just a bit and asked, "Yours?"

"Yeah." He nodded, stepping close enough for Lucy to feel the heat from his body, before taking a deep breath. "If I asked you to come home with me right now, what would you say?"

Lucy felt heat swim in her gut at his words. His question. That's what he'd said, and that meant...holy shit, that meant he was asking her to go home with him. He was actually asking her that! No question prompted by a card or forced by Mira. It was his own request, and dear Mavis, all she could think of was Yes! Yes! Yes!

She swallowed thickly, her throat suddenly containing some foreign body she couldn't dislodge. "I-I'd say..." She paused, her tongue slipping out to wet her lips, and then she gave the only answer that could ever make sense. "...I live to serve."

A/N: Oh the steaminess of this one! lol It was honestly a blast to write, and I can only hope you enjoyed reading it just as much! Click that little link down at the bottom to let me know! And thanks so much for reading!