A Sincere Wish

Summary: "She's no flower, if she were then maybe she might have wilted by now. There are people who still need her and she won't let them down especially when she believes that Kaneki will return." Based on Touka's visit to the hospital in TG:Re. Slight hints of Touken.

Note: Just a fan of Tokyo Ghoul borrowing the characters to write this fanfic.

Authors Note: Just a little one chapter idea that occurred to me after reading the newest part from the manga. This is a product of my wishful thinking and will probably not happen in the actual story but I decided to write it out anyways.

I hope you enjoy reading! :)

It's been half a year since the Anteiku raid and the urge to vent her feelings is strong.

Yomo has tried to help by lending an ear and, while that has helped a little, Touka still wishes to chat with someone who she feels will understand her feelings a bit better. That's not to say that Yomo-san is a stranger to loss nor that she doesn't feel that he's grieving over the situation. It's just that she believes Hide to be one of the only people who, in this particular case concerning Kaneki, would truly get it.

While she does not know much about Hide other than what she has heard from Kaneki and through her own personal observations, she is able to deduce that he is a social person and definitely perceptive. If she were to be completely honest, she has to admit that he isn't too bad for a human. After all, when everything is said and done, he had been the sole person to try to befriend him when he was younger. Without him, Kaneki probably wouldn't have been the same kindhearted, quiet person that she had grown to care about during their short time together. No, perhaps that Kaneki would have been more akin to the white haired version who always kept his true feelings hidden and whom had left her behind.

Not that she herself had been much better during their last meeting.

Even now, she holds regrets about how their conversation had gone. Too absorbed in her own emotions, she hadn't been able to express herself the way that she had wanted. She can only imagine the extent of disappointment that Hide would feel if he were to hear how she had treated his best friend at that point in time. He had entrusted her with the task of making Kaneki reveal what he was hiding under that mask of his and not only had she failed, but she had also hurt his feelings in the process.

Hide is Kaneki's precious friend, a beloved person in his life, and Touka is positive that he probably misses the awkwardly sweet boy just as much as she does, if not more. She supposes that they are kindred spirits in that manner.

They are tied together by Kaneki and it's for him that she'll do this.

She'll find Hide and, while she won't give out too many details, she'll apologize for the many things that plague her (for being unable to help his best friend, for not being able to protect him properly... there are so many that she can think of). Maybe he'll even be able to tell her more about Kaneki as a kid.

And so her search begins.

Even though Touka has long since abandoned the 20th ward, she decides to go back to check for Hide at the only place she can think of finding him – the last place she had seen him.

Kamii University.

The first time that she visits the campus she doesn't find out anything significant.

The second time yields the same results.

The third and fourth times are no better.

In fact it takes seven trips until she finally manages to gain some relevant information.

Even then, it's pure luck that she happens to be on campus that day, Yomo having cancelled their plans to scout out a location for their new coffee shop in a nearby ward.

She's resting at a tiny café near the Department of International Studies (Kaneki had once told her that his best friend intended to major in English so it was best to be close to the appropriate section of the University) when she happens to overhear the chatter of a few students a couple of seats over. Initially planning on ignoring them believing it to be meaningless chatter, she straightens when she hears a familiar name.

"Nagachika-senpai hasn't been around lately, has he?" one of them asks, looking at his companions.

Her ears perk up and she quickly hides her face behind a book that she had brought with her as another one of their group chimes in.

"Oh, you're right! I haven't seen Hide-senpai in a while either."

"I heard that he appealed to the faculty for an absence due to some emergency right before the cultural festival. It might be a rumor but people are saying that the reason he hasn't been seen on campus lately is because he was killed by ghouls," the tallest of the group adds while scooting in a bit closer. "If the latter is true then I'm not sure he'll be back."

Her book falls out of her hands and to the floor as it suddenly hits her.

Hide is nowhere to be found - even worse, he could be dead.

She heads home quickly afterwards.

It takes her a week before she gets back on track.

Originally, she had only intended to seek him out for her own selfish reasons, wanting to rid herself of some of her regrets, but now it was different. This time she had a new purpose for finding him.

The thought of Kaneki returning to Anteiku - returning to her - only to be haunted by the discovery that Hide is missing drives her to resume her search.

She won't give up that easily.

It takes her another year to find him.

She doesn't manage it alone though, Nishiki actually manages to help her with this one.

It's purely by chance that they somehow manage to bump into one another 8 months after the Anteiku raid. She had always believed that if they ever saw each other again then she would annoy him by calling him "Shitty Nishiki" but that's not how it happens. Instead, her first words to him are "I'm glad to see that you're alive."

He informs her that he left his home in the 20th ward and in the process his human girlfriend. Not that she has to feel too worried for him - they haven't completely dissolved their relationship. Apparently they still talk and he tends to drop by every so often to check up on her.

"You should just bring her with you. The pair of you are practically married anyways." She voices her thought jokingly but he looks at her and shakes his head, explaining how things are still tense in the ward and how he is reluctant to do anything that might place her in any danger.

"Besides," he says, a soft grin on his face, "I want her to be able to graduate, get a good job and live a normal life."

The way that Nishiki phrases it is hauntingly familiar. She can almost picture a certain half ghoul telling her those exact words and while she's sure that his cherished human, Kimi-san, wouldn't mind traveling with him (if her feelings are anything like the ones that she has for Kaneki), she's aware that not everyone is the same and decides to respect his wishes.

At least he isn't avoiding Kimi-san for months on end.

The conversation veers into the topic of the others from Anteiku but neither of them has any new information and so, after taking a deep breath, she changes the subject to her search for his bright haired former kouhai at Kamii.

"Nagachika? What are you planning? Why are you looking for him?" he queries, but she avoids his eyes, leaving his question hanging. Not that it matters, all it takes is one look at her before he clues in. Preparing herself for a sharp retort, she's surprised when he pats her head instead. Acknowledging her determination with a tired sigh, he only manages to get out a "don't be too reckless!" before they exchange phone numbers and part ways.

2 months later she gets a call.

"Shitty Touka," he says, voice smug over the line, "I've got some news that you might be interested in."

Nishiki doesn't offer much information over the phone, opting to suggest a day and time for them to meet in the 1st ward instead.

She finds herself unable to sleep very well during the nights that follow the call and on the actual day, makes sure to show up extra early.

Touka finds him at their scheduled meeting point at the park but he's not alone. Kimi-san is with him.

She's still a bit uncomfortable around the human. Their first meeting hadn't been the best but Kimi waves her over jovially. There appears to be no hard feelings on her end and Touka can't help wondering how Nishiki managed to woo a girl so unlike himself.

It's when they stop in front of a hospital that she gets confused – they're ghouls and it's rare for one of their kind to need to visit that place.

She watches as Nishiki and Kimi glance at one another before he nods and gestures for his girlfriend to talk.

And what a discussion it is.

Kimi explains how she had decided that she wanted to try to get some volunteer experience from a hospital for future career planning and there had been positions available in this particular ward and unsure of the relevance, Touka just nods her head.

Kimi, satisfied that she still has the younger girl's attention, carries on with her account of how, one day, she had stumbled upon a familiar looking figure in a bed and how her suspicions had been confirmed upon reading the nameplate on the door.

"Touka, we've found him. We found Nagachika."

When Touka visits the room for the first time, she is taken aback. The person in front of her is pale and a far cry from the jovial and energetic boy who had once been persistent in wanting to take her out for a cup of coffee. He has a couple of bandages and plenty of scars and Touka wonders just what had happened to him.

She doesn't have to wait long to find out.

Her question is answered a few visits later.

She's about to enter the room when she stops. She can hear voices from inside and is just able to make out what they are saying.

"Poor boy was bitten by a ghoul. It appears that he lost too much blood at such a rapid pace and that caused him to go into shock. He's been unconscious ever since and we're not sure if he will ever recover and wake up."

She backtracks and sits on a bench outside to think.

She ends up not seeing him that day but knows that she can't turn away from the truth.

It's a month later that she next hears from Nishiki.

"Touka, be careful. I heard from Kimi that there's someone in a high up position in the CCG who has been transferred to the hospital," he warns her, "This patient is in a similar situation as Nagachika and so I'm sure that he'll be placed in a nearby room. Be on the lookout for a room containing a person named Shinohara Yukinori and stay as far away from it as possible if you ever happen to see it. Better yet, why don't you stop visiting?"

She shakes her head even though she knows Nishiki can't see her.

"I can't do that. I'll continue to visit Hide every once in a while. It's what Kaneki would have wanted and I know that it's what he would have done."

She's no flower, if she were then maybe she might have wilted by now. There are people who still need her and she won't let them down especially when she believes that Kaneki will return.

It's been 3 years since she had last been a worker at Anteiku but she's proud to say that she still hasn't lost her touch.

While business isn't always booming like when she was in the 20th ward, they are able to survive using the money they make from the new cafe that they built. At her suggestion, Yomo had agreed to call it :re and she had worked hard ever since to improve her coffee brewing skills.

The only thing that they have to be careful of are the CCG workers who drop by from time to time (one of the cons to working in the 1st ward). It would have been ideal to have the cafe in a location further away if it weren't for the fact that Touka had wanted a place close to the hospital.

She continues to visit Hide all the while, making sure to be as careful as possible - it's what she has done for the previous year and a half and even though she doesn't know if he can hear her (she wants to believe he can), it helps to know that she can still speak to someone about Kaneki without holding back. It's as she's remembering that she should pick up some flowers to replace the ones in his room that she hears the door to the café open.

Plastering a smile on her face, she prepares to head out from the back to welcome the new customers only to freeze in the doorway, her greeting cut short.

It's him.

It's Kaneki!

She doesn't know what to think. It's been years and he is finally within arms distance once more.

At first, she's ecstatic but that soon turns into a sad sort of wistfulness when she realizes that he doesn't remember them (at least on a conscious level- he had shed a couple of tears upon tasting the coffee).

It's not his last visit to the cafe though and every time, without fail, Touka asks him questions with the aim of getting to know him better. Although she still wishes that he would remember her (along with Hide and the rest of Anteiku), she'll gladly take this second chance that she's been offered to reconnect with him.

With every trip to the hospital and every detail about "Sasaki Haise" that she delivers to Hide, she's hopeful that he will wake up soon.

She has matured and is unafraid to admit it now (in fact she's already mentioned it during one of her visits to Hide). She has feelings for Kaneki and because of them she knows that the thing that she wants the most for him is his happiness.

So, she'll do her best.

When Kaneki's memories return, she intends to make sure that she's not the only one who will be there to welcome him home.