He could no longer concentrate. Like a gale, she had come, completely disrupting his meeting and his very train of thought. Even his sentence had wavered at the sight of her. Her eyes. Those penetrating hazel eyes—tinged with gold and mischief—had watched him like a predator. Something inside of him had lurched forward. Admittedly, that had not been an abnormal reaction. The first time she had aimed a smile his way, his insides had begun reacting to her presence. It had been perplexing and oddly stimulating. Just a bit, her eyes had narrowed and a slight smirk had tugged at the right corner of her lips. Without a word, she had ignored the recruits that surrounded him and his desk, and then she had climbed the ladder to his quarters. That admirable woman, whom would most certainly shake the world, had chosen to come to him. She had chosen him. Even with all she had learned. How long had she been up there, doing Maker knows what?

A cough to his left made the Commander fully aware of his audience. He shut his eyes, took a moment to regain his composure, and then addressed his subordinates. As though he hadn't lost himself in thoughts of her, again, Cullen spoke with all the authority he could muster, given the presence of the Inquisitor in his quarters. "Right. That ends the report. You are all dismissed." He pushed his weight from his desk and gestured towards the door. Even going as far as to begin ushering the group out of his office, making certain he did not think of her eyes again, least his commanding tone falter. Most made their way to the exit. One cheeky newcomer had not moved. Instead, he had opened his mouth. Most likely, preparing to make a remark regarding the abrupt dismissal.

"But ser, you weren't finished with your sentence!" he protested. With a glare, which hadn't seemed to affect the new recruit, Cullen, none too gently, pushed the boy out of his office, and slammed the door shut. He had noticed the puckered lips and obnoxious kissing noises the recruit had made, to which his comrade had chuckled and shoved him before the door completely shut. Cullen made a mental note to remember the boy's face. Perhaps make him run around the entirety of Skyhold for 'insubordination.'

Cullen sighed heavily, pressing his weight against the wooden door. Actually, he would have to keep an eye on that one. More than likely, he had been the one to spread the rumor in the first place. He had, after all, been the one to interrupt the first time Cullen had attempted to steal those desirable lips. Speaking of which, those desirable lips had yet to speak. She must have realized they had gone now. The Commander shifted his gaze to the ladder, and then upwards to the opening in the floor. "In… Inquisitor?" His question had mostly been to provoke her words. Her voice had managed to rile him up, yet soothe him as well.

"Commander…?" she called back, voice laced with mirth.

With tense shoulders, he walked forward, and then made his way up the ladder. His eyes immediately found her boots. Then her pants. His eyes widened at a particularly impish thought. She cleared her throat, directing his gaze to her lounging form. Cullen swallowed thickly at the sight of her legs. She was never one to show much skin. This… was a surprising treat. She smiled at him, causing the tension in his back to fade. Maker… This woman was beautiful. In all his life, he never could have imagined being attracted to someone like her. Cullen finished climbing, eyes never leaving her form. She sat up, legs dangling over the side of the bed. She had him. She completely had his eyes.

"I've been thinking about you all day," she stated.

"I didn't know you'd return," Cullen began. Her lips curled into a smile. Like many times before, heat spread from one cheek to another.

"Surprise," she exclaimed.

Mouth going dry, he began to ramble about this and that. Honestly, he tried so hard not to do it. However, his body betrayed him often. The looks she gave him excited him in a way he was unaccustomed to. Focus, focus, he told himself. Eventually, his words found the seriousness he had wanted to convey. Despite how she came to him, looking for kisses, wanting to know more about him, Cullen still had doubts. As brilliant as she was and will be, and as broken as he had been, he did not understand her interest. At the back of his mind, there were doubts that plagued him. And so he questioned—stammered, really—her intentions towards him. He had been hesitant to meet her gaze, and so he had kept his eyes focused solely on his feet.

She remained silent, unknowingly prolonging his anxiety. Then she moved. He felt, rather than saw, her leave his bed and walk towards him. Her left hand found his, fingers intertwining. For certain, it was his heart that jumped. Almost reluctantly, he met her gaze. Her soft eyes smiled before her lips did. Cullen swallowed hard as she whispered his name. "Is that a question that should be up for debate?" she asked, playfully. His mouth went dry. Again. Though her tone had been joking, he could see the sincerity. He… He had been foolish to think otherwise.

"I suppose not—I…" Cullen lost his words again as her right hand slid against his 'lion's mane,' as she liked to call it. Smiling, she leaned forward. Her lips brushed against his. The simple brush had caused the tension to cease completely and the doubts to melt away. He had told her before that he had believed this… relationship would be impossible. She hadn't cared and had continued to come to him. Continued to flirt with him as though there hadn't been anything wrong with her obvious affections. Well, he supposed that there hadn't been anything wrong. With her frequent visits, he had become… He had simply fallen. Fallen so hard.

"You big kitten," she said in an admonishing tone. Where others had related his appearance to a strong and mighty lion, she had chosen to bestow such a nickname onto him after their first real conversation. Kittens weren't commanders. They certainly weren't mighty. Oh he had disliked it so. He had believed she had been mocking him because of his stature. In the beginning, at least. Now, when the nickname fell from her lips, he could not help the warming of his cheeks. It was an affectionate nickname, not an insulting one. "I want to be with you. Of course I do. You should know that by now." Her thumb traced his scar before caressing his lower lip. "I want this, don't you?"

"Maker, do I!" Cullen breathed rather than said. He hoisted her up—despite all, this was not as difficult as most would think—and she responded by wrapping her legs around his body. Her arms moved around his neck, fingers immediately latching onto his hair. He kissed her softly and walked her over to his bed. They had never gotten this far. Admittedly, Cullen found his hands trembling as he laid her down. Kisses and touches were nice, but he had always wanted more. He had wanted to explore every part, every crevice, of her body. He wanted to know her completely. Could it be that she wanted that as well?

The Inquisitor whimpered as his lips left hers. But he quickly pressed his mouth against her skin again, trailing her jawline. She giggled, and then moaned loudly when he sucked at her skin between her throat and chin. She loved when he did that. Cullen wanted to know what all she liked. What all she loved. Tonight was the night. Tonight was the night he discovered all of her.

She gasped a bit. He had already discovered a rather sensitive part of her flesh. Her left earlobe. He had gone for it on a whim. He had attacked using teeth and tongue, and she had liked it. Cullen smirked, making a mental note. The Inquisitor huffed, unwrapping her legs from his body. Then she pulled him up to her eye level. The sudden change in her demeanor befuddled him. He might have blinked three times in confusion. Then she opened her mouth, showing her teeth with her own smirk. "Take it off," she demanded. "There's too many layers between us. Keep this up and I'll feel underdressed."

"Pardon my rudeness… I will get right to it." Cullen slowly lifted himself. Her eyes lit up as he began removing articles of cloth and metal. Soon, he was only in pants. He noticed the slight arch of her brow. "Is this to your liking, Herald?"

"It's a start," she said with a shrug of her right shoulder. She lifted her leg, bottom of her foot barely touching his pectoral region. "You could have kept the lion mane, though."

"Forgive me. Perhaps I'll find another way to impress you," Cullen replied, leaning forward. Her leg moved, allowing him access. His hands pressed down against the bed above her shoulders. Before he could share another kiss, however, his body froze. Eyes squeezing shut, he pleaded that this wasn't happening. Not now. No matter of pleading to the Maker, though, could stop the oncoming headache. He had had worse, but-

"Cullen…?" He heard her shift underneath him. Her warm palm cupped his cheek, tallest finger touching his temple. "What's wrong? Are you alright?" Her voice was filled with worry. Through gritted teeth, he attempted to explain it was only a headache that would pass. It will pass soon, he had told her as his veins bulged and his fingers clutched the spread of his bed. It was bad, though. But he couldn't very well make her worry even more than she already did. "Cul…" The Commander forced his eyes open, however her image was blurred. "I should go."

He had wanted to tell her it was fine, and that she could stay. Please stay… However, the words hadn't had the chance to leave him. With a grunt, she shoved him—not hard, but enough to allow her escape. He heard her jump, not climb, down. Not even a second later, his door slammed shut. No… No. No…! Maker, no! He had tried to repress it, and make it so she would never see him in this state. He hadn't wanted to push her away with his struggles. She already had the weight of the world. She wouldn't want more. As he predicted, she had run, clearly not wanting to deal with his vulnerable side. That hurt worse than this forsaken headache.

Cullen swallowed hard, opening his eyes once again. The blurriness had faded, allowing him to see a bit clearer. He pressed his lips into a thin line, breathing hard through his nose. How was he to face her tomorrow? More than likely, she would end it. Had he been expecting too much out of this relationship? Had she only wanted him for fun? But he had thought she had felt more for him. He had thought she had believed in him. She had so passionately convinced him to free himself completely from lyrium. He had believed, truly believed, that it had been that moment he had fallen in love with her. But she…

Her intentions had always been unclear to him, now even more so. She had wanted to be with him. That is what she had said right before she had witnessed the headache. Perhaps he should just let this be. Surely there were others that would be compatible to her. He had heard the way she and Dorian got on—heard the way they flirted with one another. Or Solas. It was no secret that she held the elf in high regard. No secret the way her eyes danced with fascination whenever he spoke. She was enthralled by his knowledge. Anyone could see it. Or… Or even Iron Bull. They both had this weird thing with dragons… A deep sigh escaped his mouth. Perhaps it was for the best—her seeing his vulnerable side. Let this be and let her go. It was… for the best.

But he did not want that.

"Cullen."

In an instant, he sat up upon hearing his name. His eyes found her, and then grew considerably in realization. She stood before him, cup in hand, looking at wit's end. Her dark eyebrows furrowed and her lips formed a frown. "In… Inquisitor…?" he whispered, not sure if he should believe his own eyes yet. He hadn't heard her come up. Well, sneaking around was her specialty. She straightened her back, and then walked forward.

"Is that headache still there?" she questioned. "I didn't know what to do, but I… brought water. Had to wake up Dorian, so he could chill it for me. Word of advice: don't wake Dorian before he's ready. He didn't even catch that I'm practically wearing only my smallclothes." She sat beside him, rubbing his back with one hand and passing the cup with another. "Cold water—I once heard that it helps with headaches, so…"

"Thank you…" Cullen muttered, accepting the cup. Truly, the metal was as cold as ice. "I thought you had… left." Never to return.

"Sorry about that. 'I should go' sounds final, doesn't it? My mother says I must have said it many times in a previous life, and I've just inherited it." She gave another of her one-shoulder shrugs. "I don't think I say it that much, though." Cullen let out a weak chuckle, mostly to cover his guilt. He had doubted her intentions. She did care. Why else would she return? He took a drink as he listened to her chatter. She was nervous, he realized. Care as she might, she must have felt useless in that situation.

Cullen's eyelids lowered as he stared at the contents of the cup. The cool liquid had helped to ease the tension of his mind. He drank more. Drank it all until the cup became empty. With a heavy sigh, he lowered the cup from his lips. "Is… Is this alright?" he asked, halting her words. He didn't look at her in the silence that followed, but he imagined she appeared puzzled by his question.

"What do you mean?" she finally asked.

"As I am, I am a burden. These instances will continue to happen, and I have no control over when," Cullen clarified. He slid his eyes to her. She stared back, expression unreadable. "So is it alright for this to continue? Is it alright…?" To expect a future with you? For a long while, they simply gazed into one another's eyes. Cullen couldn't break it if he tried. It was she who broke contact first. Her eyes averted before closing. A soft sigh left her mouth.

"I…" she whispered, causing the Commander to draw a sharp breath. Her tone had sounded grim to his ears. "I have a confession." Perhaps she did not notice his tense form. When she opened her eyes again, they were focused elsewhere. Not on him. "When Cassandra first told me about your… condition-" She gave a wary glance before looking away again. "Choice," she amended apologetically. "Your choice to use lyrium again—when she told me, I agreed with you. I wanted to support your decision. It's your body and mind. If you thought it was a good idea to resume using lyrium, then I thought why should I disagree? You know yourself better than anyone. It… It wasn't my place." Cullen did not know where she was going with this, and so he remained silent. "But then I walked into your office, saw you pacing about, lamenting your frustrations. Being so violent without reason. It was a side of you I had never seen. And I, watching you like that, fear took a hold of my mind and my heart."

Cullen's heart dropped. Dropped to the deepest pits of his stomach. Absolute dread filled him and threatened to consume. Fear…? His mind roared, horrible possibilities making themselves known. It couldn't be. Did she-? "No! No—I would never!" he almost shouted. His hand touched her cheek, turning her face to his. "No matter the state I'm in, I wouldn't hurt you! You—never you. You must believe that! … Please believe that."

Her brow furrowed, and then she cupped the back of his hand. "That is not the fear that was instilled within me," she stated. "Rather…" She pulled his hand away from her face. "It was my own thoughts. Seeing you like that, I thought of what you told me before. About Samson. You said he was a good man once, and I couldn't help but think 'Did Samson go through this type of struggle before he ultimately lost himself?' 'Had he been given the same choice?' 'Could Cullen become the same?' Questions like those plagued my mind. I knew you were a good man—with a tortured past, but a good man all the same." Her eyes turned away again and her touch left him. She fiddled with her own fingers and bit her lower lip. "I… thought that if you were to take lyrium again, there would be a chance you would become like Samson. Or remain as you are—a good man."

Suddenly, she stood. Her movement had been so abrupt that Cullen had flinched. The Inquisitor faced him, cheeks darkened, lips frowning, and sweat sliding. He had never seen her so… disconcerted. Sweet and sassy described her perfectly, if not ornery as well. Unsettled, though…? Never. Or could it be, he, alone, saw this part of her? She let out a snarl and Cullen couldn't help but to rear back. Normally, she didn't make animalistic type noises. But… She and Cassandra were best friends, so it shouldn't have come as a shock to find out they picked things off one another.

"But those two options weren't what I wanted! In an instant, I had become selfish! I wanted to watch you struggle—crawl if need be! Wanted to watch you grow—become completely different from Samson. You are a good man, Cullen Rutherford, but I wanted to make sure you became a great man. I wanted so desperately to be there when it happened. I had never been so sure of anything in my life until that moment. I felt like I wanted to control you despite what you thought about it. That is what scared me. Because that is what people initially think when they look at me. I hate it, but I thought about controlling you as though it were natural… As if it were in my nature." She sighed deeply and shut her eyes. "As I've said, it wasn't my place to change your mind, but the words came and-" She sighed heavily again, staring down at the floor. "It's me who should be asking if this is alright. Not you."

Before he knew it, his arms were around her waist, mouth roughly pressing against hers. She was tense, at first, then she relaxed, much like their first kiss. Only when the need to breathe overpowered the need for her did Cullen slowly pull away. Eyes still closed and lips still parted, she panted softly. "I've…" He, too, was at a loss of breath. "I've never… felt this sure… of anything else until now." He slid his cheek against hers, directing whispered words in her ear. "… Akásha… I love you." She gasped and reared back.

"Wha-What? After all I've just said, you-?"

"Yes," he answered before hungrily claiming her lips yet again. Hands sliding, his fingers gripped her rear end. She moaned and arched her back, pressing their chests together. The taste of her, the feel of her—Maker, he needed her now. Cullen turned their bodies and walked her over to the bed. Never halting the kiss, he shifted, bringing his hands up to unclasp her shirt. Once the first became undone, he moved his mouth lower to her neck. With each clasp undone, he kissed her lower. Her hand grasped the back of his hair. She lied back, taking him with her. At the middle, he lifted his head. His lips softly trailed up her body, stopping at her left earlobe. "I wish to be your great man, Akásha." As he spoke, his left hand continued to unclasp her cloth. "I will become your great man."

"Cullen…"

"Control me as you like. You already have me. Maker, you do…"

His hand slowly slid over her toned and scarred flesh.

0-0

Most likely, he should not be doing this. He didn't have many options, though. She slept peacefully, unaware that he did not. Whilst she had gradually fell to slumber, he had laid awake, either staring up in thought or staring at her. Now, with the morning sun peeking into his quarters, his fingers moved across her exposed skin. Akásha was, surprisingly, a deep sleeper. Her legs were intertwined with his, and her arms were curled against his chest. Cullen breathed deeply through his nose. His senses were filled with a combination of her and him. He could definitely become accustomed to the pleasantness of it.

The Commander let a soft smile cross his face as he continued to gaze upon her relaxed face. He had seen it once before. It had been the first night she had allowed him to touch her. Cullen sighed, completely content. Even without sleep, he did not feel at all exhausted. If the world stopped at this very moment, he wouldn't be all that upset. Though he did not want to disturb her dream, with the appearance of the sun, duty called. Once again, she was the Inquisitor. And he, her advisor. "Akásha…? You must wake," he informed her. "Morning has come." She had not reacted to his gentle urging. Cullen leaned down a bit, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Inquisitor, please." This time, her ear twitched. Her breath hitched, yet sounded more like a huff.

Cullen almost chuckled. He ran his hand through her smooth locks. Her normal hairstyle had come undone sometime during the night. Her legs moved, stretching out. She yawned before opening her eyes. Akásha slowly looked up at him. A frown tugged at her lips. "And here I was hoping you weren't going go all commander mode until after the sun reached its peak." A chuckle ended up escaping his lips.

"Come now. You know me better than that," he told her.

"Indeed," she muttered, rolling her eyes. Then she smiled, tilting her head up. "Good morning, Cullen." Her lips reached his in a chaste kiss. She reared back, showing her teeth in a grin. "Good night…?"

"The best I've had in a long time," Cullen admitted. She smirked in quite the smug manner. Akásha moved, climbing on top of him. His heart jumped a bit. She leaned down and whispered how she could make it the best morning, too. "Inquisitor, please!" His voice may have come out higher-pitched than he would have liked. She merely laughed and lifted her leg, and moved to lay beside him again. She propped her head up with her fist and elbow. Her eyebrows furrowed, but the smile remained on her face. "Is there something you wanted to ask?"

"For someone in commander mode, you're certainly moving slow," Akásha mentioned. "Could it be you want to stay in bed, with me, all day?"

"I want nothing more, but-" He was interrupted by her finger holding his lips together.

"Ah, ah, ah…! I didn't ask for an explanation with your answer," she stated. Slowly, she took her finger back. "Tell you what. I won't hold it against you if want to abandon your duties for a day and just cuddle." Her eyebrows bounced suggestively. Cullen, in response, raised a skeptical brow. "Really…! Just cuddling, but no promises."

"You drive a hard bargain," he remarked. Still, he made himself comfortable by maneuvering both arms around her waist and resting his head against her chest. Again, a sigh of content left his mouth. Like many times before, Akásha began petting his hair, tangling fingers in his curls. The motion, though he was already used to him, still sent chills down his spine. Pleasant chills that made suppress a purr. He couldn't let it slip. He'd never hear the end of it. "Fine," he murmured, nose nuzzling the skin between her breasts. "As you wish, Herald." Almost timidly, Cullen placed his leg between hers. "I am yours to command."

"Hm… Well, I did… want to know something."

"Yes…?"

"… How can… How can this be? I mean, you and I… You're human and I'm…"

"Perfect to me…?"

"… You smooth talker. You don't have to win points anymore, you know. You're already in my heart," she said in a teasing manner.

"Am I now?" Cullen replied in the same manner. She didn't reply right away. Strange. Normally, she had some type of quip at the ready. He looked up, surprised to discover a shy smile. Her cheeks had grown darker than her skin. He felt blood rushing to his face as well. She had been serious. He dwelled inside her heart and she had just admitted it out loud. "Ah-" Cullen swallowed thickly, not sure how to respond, but knowing that his own heart leapt with elation.

"Yes," Akásha whispered. "You are… I love you, Cullen." Her brow knitted. "I don't think I've ever felt like this. I never thought I'd… fall for a human."

"You say it like it was a bad thing."

"Oh, like you didn't have any qualms about loving a qunari."

"…" She must have wanted her retort to sound playful, but it ended up sounding like an accusation. Akásha loved him, but he supposed she must have had doubts about this relationship as well. Well, he would have to put an end to that, wouldn't he? Cullen reached up, cupping her cheek. She was tense just for a moment before reacting to his touch. She turned her head a bit, lips finding his palm. She shut her eyes, looking as though she enjoyed it. "You may not have always been… Akásha to me, but it has been quite some time since I've thought of you in that way. I did not begin to like a qunari. I did not fall in love with a qunari. I fell in love with you. I will gladly tell how we can to be through my eyes so that there is no more doubt." She opened her eyes, golden gaze finding his. Cullen smiled. She had told him previously that she felt his smiles were infectious. Apparently so, for she mirrored his change in expression. "This story revolves around one question, Akásha."

"What's the question?"

"… Could we?"

0-0

Because screw the norm! I should not have played this friggin game. It has consumed my creative writing mind! Hopefully, I won't forget my other stories. Anyway, the full-cough, cough, mature-version of this story will actually be posted on another site. Archive of our own, if you haven't head about it. I was invited. :D Soooo if you're curious about the romance development between Cullen Rutherford and Akásha Adaar, and you happen to like my style of writing, I'll let you know when the next chapter is posted going up. Until then, check out my other works. They're different as well.