I've been busy, okay? College and work pretty much sums it all up . . . aside from that, there's been depression.

I haven't really had the energy to write much . . . I haven't even been reading my reviews like I would do every day. For now I may just have a story where I do straight one-shots and see what happens then. Maybe I just need to step away from what I normally do and see things in a different perspective, I don't know.

Chapter 10 - Routine.

Have you ever felt like the life you live is a lie? Have you ever thought what would happen if 'this' never happened?

How about would she still like me if I wasn't t this way?

Everyone has asked themselves either or both at some point in their life. There's no way around those questions. I find myself asking these questions a lot the past week or so. The routine life I've lived with running errands for Torchwick took a sudden turn when a simple infiltration and retrieve turned south. Since then I've murdered, free-ran, fought to an inch of my life and to top it all off, I've been possessed by some odd personalities that have taken to calling themselves 'manifestations'.

I've lost my voice - the ability to say sweet words and the hope of one day confessing my growing feelings towards someone precious.

I've lost my natural hair color - With my aura being released it's almost like it's coating the pink and white dye, acknowledging them as part of my body and thus protecting them from the elements. Water is no exception

With how things are going, I also feel like I've been losing my sanity. My movements are sluggish, my nights of sleep end with nightmares of me coming to face three copies of myself. Each one identical, but all of them different in terms of personality.

Every ten minutes I ask myself am I better off this way? Every ten minutes I burst into a soundless bawling of tears. My sniffles are what eventually draw the attention of Mercury or Emerald.

What about Cinder?

That's what makes me ask would she still like me if I wasn't this way?

Everyday for the past week I am put through three grueling training sessions. One with Emerald, an afternoon session with Mercury, and an evening session with Cinder. Each time I'm made to go on until my body reaches its limit. Afterwards I'm given a meal that tastes like shit but is apparently rich in vitamins and nutrients, then sent to rest.

I've learned that an hour and a half is all I need to get back to one-hundred percent. That's amazing, right?

I thought it was too . . . until Cinder realized it. After the first day of training with her, she saw me up and ready to go far too soon than I should be capable of. To make use of that, now Mercury and Emerald train me as well.

She doesn't embrace me, she doesn't tell me I did a good job. The nicest thing she has said is you're improving, but nothing beyond that.

Am I just a tool now?

Do I have no value aside from my durability and ability to learn?

If I wasn't this way . . . would she still like me?

"Neo!" The slight high-pitch of Emerald's yelling voice gets my attention. We're currently in Vale, a warehouse in Vale to be precise. After what happened in Mystral, we took an airship provided by the White Fang to cross Remnant and get to Vale.

Everyday we all follow the same schedule:

Mercury goes out to search for possible street fights or easy victims to mug in the mornings. In the afternoon I'm forced to block or evade a barrage of his endless kicks until he lands a shot that knocks me unconscious, or Cinder deems me unable to continue. In the evenings he goes with Emerald to get food for the four of us.

Emerald trains me every morning in stealth and deception. Throughout the warehouse are hanging chains that she makes certain to use as a way of maneuvering with her chain-sickles. The problem with this is the fact that we do this practice at dawn. The peeking sunlight always pierces the open warehouse door, leaving me half-blinded in the sun's beaming rays while also causing the high ceiling of the warehouse to look that much darker. Emerald always strikes me when I least expect it . . . my task is to land a hit on her. In the afternoon she pickpockets some funds while looking for a simple job she can work until we begin to get steady funds.

Finally, there's Cinder. Every morning and afternoon she overlooks my training with Emerald and Mercury, but aside from that I never see her. She arrives just as we start, then leaves the moment she says I'm unable to continue. In the evenings she pushes me far beyond my limit in an all-out spar that leaves me cut, bruised, shaking and scared.

Despite all of that . . . I still can't find myself to hate her. No matter what, there's a sweet side to her that I can never forget. One day I'll see it again.

"Neo!?" It's the second time Emerald calls my name. Sometimes I just want to stay hidden, but Cinder finds me easily and scolds me for making me waste her time . . . At least I get her to acknowledge me when that happens.

I decide to not keep Emerald waiting. I stand up from the crate I've been laying on and take a few turns around the maze of towering transport crates until I enter Emerald's field of view.

"There you are! Cinder wants to see you." The green-haired girl says with a hand resting on her hip.

Cinder? I have an hour until I train with Mercury. What is she even doing here?

In response I nod my head and follow Emerald through the maze of boxes that'll eventually lead out of the warehouse which is most likely where Cinder is waiting.

"Not sure what she wants. I think she's just worried about you. Not a lot of people can handle the training she puts you through. She would've killed most people by now." Emerald says in a tone that makes me wonder if she's talking to me or herself.

Several more turns and the light that shines from the front of the warehouse begins to become brighter, indicating we're almost there. Finally we come to six foot wall of boxes that we both hop over without any difficulty. I barely have time to stick my landing before my name is called.

"Neo . . . you're late."

Her first words to me that aren't in training . . . That's warming.

I look towards the entrance of the warehouse, somewhat blinded by the bright rays of sun. Cinder stands just at the entrance, currently she's only a silhouette in my field of view thanks to my eyes still adjusting. I shield my eyes with my forearm while I make my approach, waiting and listening to what she has to say.

"Your training with Mercury and myself are cancelled for today. You're going into Vale to join Torchwick. I'm sure he'll be glad to see you again."

Is she . . . getting rid of me?

I stop walking towards her and instead take a hesitant step backwards. I've dealt with her training to the letter. I've obeyed her every command and even came close to matching Emerald. Two more days and I may even be capable of hitting her.

What did I do? I haven't argued with Mercury or Emerald. I haven't disobeyed her at all. Why is she getting rid of me?

The first thing I do is begin rapidly shaking my head. The first display of refusal I've ever shown her. I know things will get better, and I'm more than willing to wait it out.

"What do you mean 'no'? Emerald." Cinder gestures for Emerald to leave, her exit being made clear in my eardrums when her steps grow too faint to hear. "You know better than to disobey me, Neo. I hope you have an acceptable reason."

Reason? Did you forget he treated me like shit? Can you not tell how much happier I am with you? I know you're not that dense! . . . Is it because I can't talk?

I've made exactly one attempt each day to speak. All of them ending with a pain in my throat that occurs when I try to strain my vocal cords. At this rate I'll probably forget how to use them.

I take a deep breath, hoping if I can even get one word out, she'll keep me. That's the only things that's changed about me, right? My voice is gone . . . that has to be why she doesn't want me. It makes perfect sense after all.

I can't communicate with her. She can't bother herself to keep me in view for a game of charades. That wouldn't make an ounce of sense. Her, Emerald and Mercury already have setups for combat I assume, so why should she need to readjust those formations and strategies because of some stray girl? I can learn to follow their strategies, but I can't communicate clearly with any of them.

I rather her take my head than go back to Roman.

"Don't try it."

I look ahead of me to see Cinder's form towering over my own. The breath I took earlier is still fresh in my lungs, ready for my - futile - attempt to speak.

"He works for me now, Neo . . . You're not going to be far from my watch. If you're helping him, it'll give Emerald and Mercury more space to work. We'll be able to empty out this warehouse and make room for more cargo." Cinder stares at me with her usual stare. The heartless glare pierces my skull, leaving me paralyzed and helpless. A stare that I could look in for hours now leaves shivers erupting through my body. Cinder's changed, or at least the way she looks at me has.

Unsure of what else to do, I cling to her. My arms swing around her frame, desperately wrapping around her waist and holding myself to her red dress. I expect an elbow or hook to send me flying away into a couple of crates, but that blow never hits its mark. Instead, her hands touch the small of my back while a sigh of annoyance grazes the part in my hair.

"I'll walk you to him . . . I've been with him whenever I'm not here. You'll see more of me while you're with him . . . I promise that." Cinder takes a moment to pry my arms from her waist so she can take a step back and lean forward to meet me at eye level. With how close she is, she only needs to speak in a whisper for me to hear. "I'll never get rid of you, Neo. You're free to leave on your own accord. I'd prefer you leave, but you've made it clear you intend to stay. I plan on fixing this 'mess' for a lack of better words. Let's wander into Vale so I can bring you to Roman. He has someone that can help you learn actual combat . . . not the simple evasion method like I've been teaching you." I stare into her irises with uncertainty written all over my face. Thankfully she reads my expression perfectly. "Every time I see you I will ask if everything is okay. Even if something is wrong, I want you to nod. If I see you blink three times rapidly, I will know that he's treating you badly. Am I understood?"

A code like that? I think that could work. I quickly nod my head, satisfied with the arrangement.

"Good. Let's get going . . . I want to have you there before nightfall. Roman will have a steady routine for you. He knows to give you time to practice, and I suppose he may have his usual jobs for you. You're not to spend an entire night from his compound. If you can't finish your task in one night, then check in with him before you go back to continue. It's tedious, but necessary."

Cinder goes on to explain all the precautions I need to take since I'll supposedly be wandering free now. If Torchwick gives me a task, I have a feeling I'll complete it much faster than I have before . . . moreso because I have something worth coming back for.

A different city, a different crowd, but one thing doesn't seem to change. A developed routine.