Unintentional Affection

This is not how she wanted this to go at all.

She is not a baby sitter. Especially not for Snow's spawn. In fact, she fails to understand how her former arch-nemesis would even come to the conclusion that she of all people would make a good short-notice nanny. The thought strikes her as utterly ridiculous.
Huffing quietly and rolling her eyes at herself, Regina glances down at the sleeping bundle in her arms. She feels the need to scowl down at the youngest uncharming, scowl at the way his little face makes her heart flutter with warmth.
But she can't.
Instead, her mouth twitches as she keeps trying to fight the smile that threatens to overtake her own face. She finds herself bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, swaying the baby with a practiced rhythm that even 12 years of lying idle couldn't make her forget.

And she sort of hates herself for it.

The second time it happens, no one asks her to interact with the child. And somehow, that makes it even worse.

Instead of being declared a short-notice babysitter and having the unsuspecting baby dropped into her arms, Regina finds herself standing by his bassinet completely of her own volition. Stiffly, she crosses her arms in front of her chest and tries to bend sideways and peek at the child with as much subtlety as her position just a few feet from Snow would allow. Regina catches a look at him from the corner of her eye, at his wide-eyed, blue gaze and his pursed lips. He's been making sounds, and she's been feigning annoyance at that ever since she entered the room ten minutes prior.

The phone rings and startles her out of her observation of the child. Snow jumps, hastily excuses herself and hurries out of the living room, leaving Regina with her youngest.

The former Queen blinks, eventually concedes and allows herself to turn, facing the bassinet and once again meeting the blue eyed gaze inside. Little Uncharming looks up at her, seemingly scrutinizing her. Then, he cocks is little head to the side and begins to wiggle.
Regina stares. Her fingers twitch.
The baby wiggles more, lets out a tiny whimper. Regina remembers that sound as the preface to crying.

She listens carefully. The muffled sounds of Snow's conversation with whoever called her are still audible through the door. Snow's preoccupied, she realizes. Maybe she could…?

Another whimper.

To hell with it!

And just like that, Regina bends down and gathers the child up in her arms, carefully supporting his bottom with one hand as the other settles on the back of his head, rubbing soothing circles.

"Hush." She urges and begins to hum, quietly, silent enough to still hear the muffled sounds of conversation next door. The baby quiets and tangles one tiny fist in her hair and Regina's own hand comes up to the baby's, untangling his fingers from the stands. She wants to be angry with the child, wants to chide it with a glare worthy of the Evil Queen.
And so she warns the babe with a stern "No." which is as much as she can manage. There's no real vigor in her tone.

And then the sounds of conversation stop, and Regina hurries to put the baby back into his bassinet.
When Snow reenters the living room, Regina's arms feel oddly empty.

"Hello, there!" she greets as she enters the office and spots baby Neal in his car seat. She's resigned herself to her fate by now, deciding to give up on fighting her affection for the little boy (at least when it's just the two of them). And so she smiles openly as she approaches him, crouching down in front of the baby and reaching out a hand to tickle his belly.

The delighted squeal that follows makes her heart soar.

Regina moves her hand from his little tummy up to a chubby cheek, stroking the soft baby skin of his face. She leans in close, as if to tell him a secret before giving him another, more subdued smile and whispering: "Who would've thought? The Evil Queen and Little Prince Uncharming. Imagine their faces if they knew you like me as much as you do. Imagine their faces if they knew that I like you back just as much."
She lets out a chuckle before she lifts Neal's little hand and drops a small kiss to it, careful not to leave any lipstick on his fingers.
"But that's our little secret."
She winks, and when she stands up again and gives him a tiny wave, the baby rewards her with a huge, toothless grin.

The next time she's alone with the baby, it's Henry's birthday. She throws her son the grand party he deserves, packing her mansion with decorations and having spent most of the day before baking different cakes to make sure all the guests would be satisfied. The townsfolk accept her now, but despite the lack of fear in their eyes, she doesn't feel like she belongs among these people. She's still the odd one out. Some people are still wary of her. And so it doesn't take long for her to seek refuge upstairs, away from the noise and the ruckus in the foyer.

It's only when she's already entered her bedroom that she remembers that Snow has put baby Neal to sleep on her bed. He's surrounded by pillows to keep him from rolling off of the mattress and when Regina comes closer, she can see him sucking his thumb.

Carefully, she perches on the edge of her bed and gently pulls his hand away from his mouth.
"We don't want you having bad teeth now, do we?" she whispers, stoking his little hand with her fingers, not even minding the little bit of drool on it.
She can faintly hear the noise from downstairs. There is a louder sound- something being dropped?- followed by laughter. She shakes her head and lies down on her bed next to the sleeping infant, rolling to rest on her side, one hand stroking the dark tuft of fine hair on his head.

"You know what?" she asks in a whisper, "You're actually better company than most of the townspeople. Who would've thought?"

There is another commotion downstairs, louder than the first.

Neal's eyelids flutter before they open, tiredly blinking at the woman beside him. Regina is quick to react, stroking her index finger over his nose, a motion that used to calm Henry when he was little. Neal lets out a yawn and then begins to wiggle. He frowns for a while, as if undecided how to feel, before he eventually lets out a quiet cry.

"Now, now. Hush. We don't want to disturb your parents. It's their first night doing something without you. Let's let them have a little break, shall we?"

She sits up and lifts him from his position on the bed.

"Let's get you changed, okay?"

Changing him turns out to be quite the feat with Neal grabbing her hair and tugging at it with surprising strength, but she's had a baby before and routine comes back as if the years between Henry's infancy and Neal's were nonexistent.

When she's done, she returns to the bed, sitting Neal up on her lap and taking his tiny hands into hers.
She most definitely doesn't play "paddy cake" with him.
And she most definitely doesn't put him on her chest to snuggle for bedtime.
And she most definitely isn't caught doing exactly that by her own son.

And no, she most definitely didn't promise him another 4 months of comics for his discretion.

Regina begins to enjoy the precious minutes alone with the little boy. It doesn't happen too often. His parents are almost always nearby, but Regina finds the time to flash him quick smiles from across the room (watching as he returns them every single time) and on the few occasions that his parents do leave the room for a few seconds, she always takes the chance to show her secret affections, lifting him into her arms for a quick hello or playing a quick silly game to make him giggle.

She ends their encounters with a wink and a finger pressed in front of her lips, swearing him to secrecy.

It turns out, very much to Regina's dismay, that Neal really is Snow White's child. Even being a baby, without the ability to speak, the little spawn finds a way to rat her out.

She enters Granny's Diner one afternoon, not feeling much like cooking for herself since it's Henry's week with Emma, when she runs into the Charmings. Snow is packing up the diaper bag, apparently preparing to leave the establishment soon after while Charming is holding his son, now finally old enough to sit on his hip, allowing the father to hold a take-out bag in the other hand.

"Regina, hi!" he greets and Snow, having packed up her things by now, turns to join them.
"Regina, how are you?" She's chipper as ever, almost to the point of annoying the former Queen, and Regina feels the sudden urge to say something snippy. She probably would have if it weren't for Neal's sudden whining.

When she looks down at the little boy in David's hold, he's reaching out his hands towards the Queen, letting out a series of exerted noises. Regina blinks.

"Shh, son." Charming attempts to sooth the little scoundrel, bouncing a little.

"Muuuugh!" Neal babbles, holding his hands out towards Regina, undeterred. Snow looks between her son and her former stepmother before tentatively speaking up.

"Regina, I think he wants you to hold him."

Regina tries her best to let out an annoyed huff. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she forces herself to give her signature scowl.

"He doesn't know what he wants. Either way, I'm on a tight schedule." It's a lie, and not even one of her better ones. Regardless, she steps around Snow and her husband and begins to make her way over to the counter. She doesn't make it far, though, before a heart-wrenching screech sounds from behind her, followed by a series of wails.
She doesn't want to turn around. She wants to take a deep breath and ignore the little boy and his selfish crying. But she can't. It tugs too much at her heartstrings, and she's never had it in her to let Henry cry, and so she doesn't have it in her now, either.

With a deep sigh, she turns on her heel and strides up to the Charmings, where Neal has begun flailing his arms and leaning so far out of his father's hold, he surely would've fallen if it weren't for his mother's hand pressing against his chest.

"Oh, for god's sake." Regina growls and snatches the little boy out of David's arms, immediately bouncing and swaying on her feet, falling right into the traps of her maternal instincts. Neal ceases his cries immediately, his wails replaced with happy gurgles as one tiny fist takes a hold of Regina's hair. Snow and David watch, awestruck, as Regina opens the baby's hand with her own and gently pries his fingers away from her dark locks. She turns her face towards Neal's, her warm smile making room for a more serious look.
"I've told you not to do that the last five times I've held you. Don't you even start!" Her tone manages to be equal parts admonishing and gentle and it's only once she hears Charming's question of "When the hell did she hold him so much?" that she realizes she's officially blown her cover. She feels the blush rising up her cheeks and decides to keep looking down at Neal, effectively shielding her face with a curtain of dark tresses.

Neal immediately grabs for them again and Regina brings her face closer to his, glaring at him before she lets out a sharp whisper.
"Traitor!"
But Neal just lets out a jubilant giggle and grins, showing off his two front teeth.
And Regina smiles right back.

And when, many months later, the third word he speaks (right after "Mama" and "Dada") is a loud squeal of "'Gina!", she can't bring herself to mind the horrid butchering of her name, and finds herself grinning instead, picking him up and pressing an affectionate kiss to his forehead.

And when Snow and Charming both give her knowing looks at the easy display of affection, she doesn't react save for a quick glare at them over the baby's head, too taken by the little boy's exited cries of his new word- her name- to mind anything but the high-pitched voice and Neal's little hands, now clapping in delight.

Thanks for reading!