Cilan hadn't been paying attention.

He and Brielle had been engaged in a conversation, something about the contest she was going to be entering soon, while he was cutting up some vegetables for their breakfast. He'd been mid-sentence when the knife missed and hit his finger. After a yelp and a quick inspection, he said that he would be right back and ran up to their room and into the bathroom.

He didn't mean to snoop. It just kind of caught his eye.

He was just wrapping the bandage around the small would when the light hit off of it in the perfect way and caused it to glint. Cilan at first figured that it was just another piece of Brielle's jewelry, but then he looked and nearly had a heart attack.

There on the counter of the sink was a razor blade, covered in dried blood.

He gasped and stumbled back, the worst running through his mind. Had a murder taken place? Had someone cut themselves really badly while shaving? Was someone trying to frame them for a murder?

Quickly, he looked around for any other signs of blood in the room. His first spot was the bathtub- thankfully, that was clean. He then checked in the trash can, and, upon seeing the blood soaked toilet paper, everything clicked into place.

Someone had self harmed in the night.

His heart stopped as soon as the thought entered his head. Who on earth was self harming in their friend group? Brielle seemed to be having the time of her life on this journey, and Ash the same, and it certainly hadn't have been Cilan himself.

Although… Now that he thought about it, Ash had been acting a little strange lately. He'd been more tired than usual, he'd been avoiding activities with them, and he'd been taking walks more often, not to mention eating much less. The rate at which he'd been losing weight was really starting to worry Cilan. It wasn't healthy in the slightest- he'd already been like a twig before!

This was the settling point. Something was wrong with Ash, and they needed to talk.

Carefully, so not as to get any blood on his fingers nor to cut himself again, Cilan picked up the razor and inspected it. It was painfully obvious that it had been used just recently, so maybe that meant that he could talk and get through to him.

He left the bathroom and immediately thought that maybe Mew really wanted this to happen, as Ash was just sitting up. The older held his breath as he watched the fifteen year old stretch and look around the room. They made eye contact; Ash gave him a small smile.

"Morning, Cilan," he mumbled.

Cilan didn't return the gesture. Instead, he frowned and looked to the floor with a sigh.

"Ash… We need to talk."

He looked back up and saw the panic in his eyes; he could only imagine what he was thinking. Was he worried that they were going to make him leave? It was a ridiculous thought, but if he was self harming like this…

"W-What about?" His voice was shaky, and he put his arms down.

After a deep breath, Cilan walked over to the bed next to his and sat down, holding up the razor.

"What is this?" he whispered.

At the rate the blood drained out of Ash's face, Cilan had to resist the urge to reach out and grab him. He was pale enough that it looked like he was about to pass out; he opened and shut his mouth a few times, which only made Cilan's worry grow.

"I-I- uh, I… Was shaving," he croaked out, "And, uh, I, uh, cut myself. N-No need to worry! It's fine now!"

Cilan raised an eyebrow. "Can I see where you were hurt? Just to make sure there's no worry for infection, you know."

Ash gulped. Cilan could practically see his brain running at full speed. "I'd, uh, I'd rather not show you."

Cilan sighed. This was going nowhere.

Gently, he placed the razor on the nightstand before moving to sit next to Ash. He carefully wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.

"Ash… You do know you're not alone, right?"

The younger's lip trembled a bit, but he quickly bit it and looked away. "Okay."

"I mean it," Cilan continued. "I don't know what you're going through, but whatever it is, you can come talk to me about it, alright? I won't leave you."

A couple of tears dripped down Ash's cheeks as he mumbled something. Cilan leaned closer and asked about it; the Trainer pushed the arm off and scooted away.

"That's not true!" he choked out. "You're going to leave! You're going to find something bigger and better to do than to travel around with some failure of a Trainer and watching him fuck everything up! Everyone leaves, and you're no different!"

Cilan simply stared at him for a moment. Things were starting to slide into place.

"Is that what this is about?" he asked softly. "Are you really that hurt by people leaving?"

A small sob escaped the younger, and he quickly got up and ran to the other side of the room before wiping the tears away. "No one stays," he admitted, "And there's gotta be a reason for that. I've gotta be doing something stupid to drive them away."

The older watched him closely before standing. "Ash."

He looked, tears still sliding down his cheeks. "What?"

"Stop."

There wasn't any time to ask about it before Cilan wrapped his arms around the younger and held him tightly. After a beat, Ash returned the gesture, and the older could feel him shaking.

"Things are going to be okay," he whispered. "You're okay. Just because people have to leave doesn't mean they don't still love you, nor does it make you any less important. You're fine just as you are. You're worth the world to some people, Ash, believe me. And you're not a failure, either. Just because it's taking you a while to achieve your dream doesn't mean you're not going to get it. We can't all be extrordinary, and it's okay.

And think about it. Think about all of the lives you've touched, or saved, or even helped. Hundreds upon hundreds of people remember you and know you. You've got one of the kindest hearts I've ever seen, Ash. You're one of the most important people in the world. Don't forget that, okay?"

Ash shuddered with another sob before nodding. They stayed like that for a while.

Eventually, Cilan was the one to pull away, but he kept his hands on Ash's shoulders.

"Will you let me help?"

Ash hesitated, but nodded regardless. Cilan smiled and grabbed the razor before pulling them into the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" the Trainer asked softly. The older smiled at him and handed him the blade.

"Throw it in the toilet," he said.

Ash blinked in confusion. "What?"

"You heard me."

With a frown, he did as told. There was a little plink as the metal hit the water, and they watched as the blood began to dissolve and tint the liquid.

Cilan pointed at the handle. "Now flush it."

Ash didn't move. He simply stared at the water, wishing he could just go back in time and put away the razor when he had the chance, while simultaneously being relieved that this was happening. His emotions were at war, and he didn't know which side to choose.

The Connoisseur bumped his knuckles against Ash's. "I'll hold your hand, if you want."

Wordlessly, Ash wrapped his fingers around Cilan's palm and reached forward for the handle.

As the sound of the toilet filled the room, another tear dripped down his cheek. The older wiped it away with the pad of his thumb and smiled reassuringly at him.

"This is going to be a journey you'll never forget, and it's going to be rough, but I'll be with you every step of the way."

Ash smiled back through teary eyes, finally beginning to see just how there for him his friends were.

Just as it had always been.

Just the way Ash needed it to be.