So I'm back again! I was actually browsing through my documents and I found this one. I totally forgot that I even wrote it. It's a tag to episode 5x04 when Steve and Danny went to Colombia to rescue Matt only to find out he was already dead. I loved the episode, but I thought it ended kind of abruptly and I'll admit that I'm a little annoyed it's barely been brought up since then. I added some bromance and team love since I thought it was needed.

This is kind of depressing since that's how I felt after the episode ended. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

**************************H50************************

Death is easy. It's painless. One second you're there and one second you're not. The hard part isn't dying, the hard part is being left behind. Never being able to see someone you love again, and not even knowing where they are, if they're happy or sad, if they even exist anymore.

Danny knew this. He'd been a cop for years and he'd lost his fair share of loved ones. Billy. Grace. It had hurt. He would never forget the feeling he felt when he first realized they were gone. The fear, the despair, the desperation to see them one last time to tell them that he loved them and he was sorry.

But this was much worse.

Mattie. His little brother. He was only six years old when Matt was born, but he remembered the first time he saw him when he got back from the hospital. A little bundle with messy brown hair. He loved him from that very first second, and he promised himself that he would always take care of him, watch his back, make sure he was safe.

Where the hell had he gone so wrong?

He tried, he really had. He looked out for Matt when they were kids, even though Matt was taller than him by the time he turned thirteen. He'd beat up guys who messed with him, he'd helped him get girls, whatever he needed.

Matt was his brother, and Danny loved him so damn much. Even after he had run away, after everything he'd done, Danny still loved him. He never gave up hope that he'd see Matt again one day. He knew eventually Matt would find his way home. How wrong he'd been.

There were no words to describe the moment his baby brother was wheeled out in a barrel. Shoved in there like a piece of trash. His brother, his Matt. Danny didn't even have to look inside, he knew it was his brother in there. And all the hopes he'd had of being reunited with his brother one day shattered to millions of pieces in that crappy stifling hot room in the middle of Colombia.

He was surrounded by guys with guns and he still didn't hesitate to go after Reyes. He killed Mattie. And he was going to pay if it was the last thing Daniel Williams ever did.

So when he stormed back down those stairs and saw Reyes standing there, helpless and unarmed, he still didn't hesitate to put a bullet right into his skull. Because he had killed Matt, and he deserved this.

But what did he do now? He was in the middle of a bad neighborhood in a worse place with his dead brother, a bunch of dead criminals, his best friend, and eighteen and a half million dollars.

His brother was dead. And even though he had gotten his revenge, nothing would change that.

He barely felt the loud sob that slowly made its way up his throat and out into the dirty Colombian air. He didn't feel the many that followed even as they got louder and his shoulders began to shake.

"Danny..." He heard Steve say softly from behind him.

He didn't say anything. He didn't turn around. He just continued to sob, and started walking towards the barrel that had become his brothers resting place.

"Don't!" Steve almost shouted, grabbing Danny's arm. "For the love of god Danny please don't do this to yourself. Don't look in there."

Danny continued make small choked noises but he looked at Steve at last and nodded. He was right. Danny didn't need to see his brother. Not like that.

Steve pulled Danny into a hug and held him close while Danny buried his face into his shoulder and cried.

"I'm so sorry Danny," he whispered. "I'm so damn sorry."

"He's my brother," Danny sobbed. "My baby brother."

"I know he is Danny," Steve replied. "And we're going to take good care of him now I promise."

"It's too late. I was too late," Danny cried.

"This isn't on you buddy," Steve soothed. "You did everything you could."

"It wasn't enough!" Danny shouted suddenly, pushing Steve away from himself. "He's still dead!"

Steve looked at him sadly. "I know he is," he said simply. "But it's not your fault Danny. Don't even think it."

Danny shook his head and looked at the barrel again.

"We need to go Danny," Steve said. "Reyes may have friends. They'll come after us."

"I can't just leave him!" Danny said angrily.

"Of course not Danny," Steve replied. "I have friends here that owe me a favor. I'll have them send Matt to Hawaii right away. You won't be leaving him Danny."

Danny shook his head. He knew that Steve was right, but he couldn't just leave his brother.

"You go ahead," he said. "I'll wait here with Mattie."

"Not an option. I'm not leaving you Danny," Steve said. "We're sitting ducks here man. I need you to trust me. Grace needs you to come home to her buddy."

Danny felt his eyes fill with tears once again. How was he going to tell his daughter that her uncle was dead?

He looked up at Steve, and saw the sympathy in his eyes. He knew they had to get out of there. Now. He wanted to stay with his brother, but he also knew that Steve would never leave him there. He was risking them both. They had to go... Steve would take care of Matt. He trusted his partner more than anyone in the world.

"Alright," he said finally. "You'll take care of him?"

"I promise Danny," Steve said.

"Let's go then," Danny replied, looking back one last time at the damned barrel as Steve led him out.

**************************H50***************************

Steve stood outside the bathroom door while his partner cleaned himself up. He was terrified that if he turned away for even a second, Danny would just take off and go looking for anyone who had anything to do with Marco Reyes and Matt's murder.

They had been partners a long time, and saw each other through some tough times, but nothing could compare to the look Steve saw on Danny's face when his brother was rolled out in a barrel.

As stupid as it sounded, when Danny hurt like this, Steve hurt too. So when his partner stood in front of a defenseless Reyes with a gun pointed at his head, Steve didn't even think about stopping the inevitable. If that made him a criminal so be it. He was loyal to Danny first.

He stepped back as the door opened and Danny came walking out.

"You don't have to watch me like that," he said. "I'm not going to do anything stupid."

"Hey, I know that Williams temper," Steve replied. "I've experienced it first hand. I'm worried about you."

"Well don't be," Danny said simply.

"I can't help it D," he pointed out. "Do you want to talk?"

Danny shook his head. "I just want to go home," he said, his voice clogged with tears. "I want to see my daughter."

"You got it buddy," Steve assured him. "We're on a flight out in two hours. I already have someone taking care of Matt."

"Thanks Steve," Danny said.

"You'd do the same for me," he replied.

*******************************H50*********************

Getting Danny to the airport was the easy part. Getting him onto the small charter plane (another favor) without seeing the barrel that was now being loaded was the hard part.

Steve pretty much dragged his friend onto the plane by his arm and pushed him into a seat.

"I'm gonna go check on him right now Danno," Steve said before Danny had the chance to even open his mouth.

Danny nodded and leaned his head back against the chair.

Steve quickly made his way outside and met up with his old SEAL buddy.

"Thanks so much for this man," Steve said, shaking his hand.

"You saved my ass on more than one occasion McGarrett," he replied. "This was the least I could do. I gotta ask though, what's in that barrel there? And what's with the duffels?"

"Believe me, you don't want to know," Steve told him.

He shook his head. "Same old McGarrett. Easy travels man. And good luck."

Steve slapped him on the back before rejoining Danny on the plane.

"It's taken care of Danny," he reassured his partner.

Danny didn't even respond.

He didn't say a word for the entire flight. Steve kept sneaking glances at him, but every time he looked Danny was staring straight ahead with the same vacant expression in his eyes. Steve had never seen his partner like that before, and frankly it scared the hell out of him.

Steve made sure to call ahead to Chin, letting him know what had happened. Max was set to meet them at the airport and Chin was going to pick them up. He already had Kono looking into tickets to New Jersey. Danny was going through one of the hardest times of his life and it had barely began, but Steve was going to make damn sure that he had his ohana behind him 100%.

When the plane finally landed, Steve turned to Danny and put a hand on his shoulder.

"We're here bud," he said softly.

Danny snapped back into awareness and looked blankly at Steve.

"Already..?" He asked. "I uh... I... I didn't notice how long it's been... Sorry."

"Don't be sorry Danny," Steve replied, pulling his partner to his feet. "Let's go."

They walked off the plane together to see Chin, Kono, Lou and Max waiting for them. Kono immediately ran to Danny and hugged him hard.

"I'm so sorry brah," she whispered. "Anything I can do just let me know."

"Thanks Kono," Danny replied.

Steve left Danny to Kono for a few minutes while he helped Chin and Lou load the barrel into Max's van.

"I need this done now Max," Steve said. "Danny will be leaving to Jersey soon and he'll need to take Matt with him."

"Of course Commander," Max replied. "Please convey my condolences to Detective Williams."

Steve nodded and watched as Max drove away with the precious cargo.

"How's Danny?" Chin asked.

Steve shook his head. "I've never seen him like this before. He won't talk Chin... He always talks! I can never get him to shut up, but now..."

"This is his brother..." Lou said. "Damn."

Kono and Danny walked over to them.

"I'm so sorry Danny," Chin said, pulling him in for a hug.

"Anything you need," Lou added, shaking his hand. "Don't hesitate."

"Thanks guys," Danny replied. "And thanks for being here..."

"Of course," Kono said.

"I uh... I want to go see Grace," Danny said.

"Don't you want to go home and clean up first? Maybe eat something?" Steve asked.

"No. I want to see her now," he replied.

"Come on then," Chin said. "We'll drive you."

*********************************H50**********************

The car ride to Rachel's was silent. Each one of them were worried for their friend, but they didn't want to break him out of the deep thoughts he was so obviously in.

Danny looked up in surprise when he realized they had stopped. "You guys don't have to stay," he said as they pulled up outside of Rachel's house.

"We're not going anywhere Danny," Steve told him.

"We'll be here whenever you're ready brah," Kono agreed.

Danny nodded before getting out of the car and walking towards the door. What would he say? How would she react? She hadn't seen him in years, but he was still her uncle and she loved him. She talked about him every once in a while, and Danny knew that like him, she hoped she'd see him again some day.

Rachel came to the door before Danny even had a chance to knock.

"Daniel what are you doing-" she started in her brisk and clipped accent, but as soon as she looked at him her attitude immediately shifted from annoyed to worried. "Danny... Are you alright? What's happened?"

Under different circumstances, Danny would've laughed at how well she could read him, even after everything. His mind immediately shifted back to the night Matt left, when he had told her that he was gone and she was there for him. He shook off the strong feelings of déjà vu. Matt wasn't just gone this time. He was dead. Everything was different now and it would never go back to the way it was before.

"Matt..." Danny finally managed to say aloud. "He... Uh. He..."

"Oh my god Danny", Rachel said, immediately grabbing him and hugging him hard. "I am so sorry."

Danny hugged her and bit back a sob. "I need to tell Grace," he whispered.

As if on cue, Grace came down the stairs at that moment. After a look of surprise at the scene in front of her, she immediately became concerned.

"Danno..." She said. "What's going on? Is it Uncle Steve?"

"No baby," Danny replied, wiping his eyes and walking towards her.

Grace immediately jumped into his arms and hugged him tight. Danny buried his face in her shoulder and let the tears fall. With Grace in his arms, he truly believed for the first time that he could get through this. She was his strength. She had been from the second she was born. He knew he couldn't fall apart. Not when he had her to take care of.

"It's Uncle Matt monkey," Danny said. "He uh... He's really gone baby..."

Danny heard her shocked intake of breath and leaned back to look at her. Tears had immediately filled her eyes and she shook her head slightly.

"What happened?" She asked.

"He took someone's money, and they weren't happy about it," Danny explained, not wanting to go into detail about his brothers murder with his daughter.

"Did you get him?" Grace asked angrily, tears streaming down her face.

"I did," Danny replied.

Grace nodded before throwing her arms around him again. "I'm here for you Danno," she said. "I love you."

Danny had no idea when his baby girl had turned into this strong-willed, mature, and beautiful young lady. He couldn't stop the sobs that escaped this time.

*********************************H50**********************

Danny was back in the car thirty minutes later. Rachel had given him permission to take Grace back to Jersey for the funeral. Now all Danny had to do was get the tickets sorted and tell his parents... His parents... This was going to kill them... His sisters too. God how was he supposed to tell them that he'd messed up? That he'd let his baby brother get murdered by scumbags... How was he supposed to explain that to his family?

Before he even knew what happened, they pulled up in front of his house.

"Thanks guys," Danny said. "I have a lot of planning to do..."

"I already reserved you two tickets to Jersey," Kono said. "You leave in two days. Let me know if I should reserve any more," she added with a look at Steve.

"Thanks Kono," Danny said. "I really appreciate the help."

"Ohana brah," Kono said.

Danny smiled before getting out of the car. He looked behind him in surprise when he noticed that Steve got out too.

"Don't even," Steve said before he could even open his mouth. "I'm not leaving you alone Danny. You have things to do, that's fine. I'll wait in the next room. But I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks Steve," Danny said, not even bothering to protest. Truth be told he wanted someone there with him, and next to Grace there was no one he'd rather have there than his partner.

As soon as they walked into the house Danny turned to Steve.

"I need to call my parents," he said.

Steve put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll be right in the next room if you need me," he said comfortingly.

Danny nodded and watched him go. He took a deep breath and pulled out his phone, not nearly ready to make the call he was about to make.

*********************************H50**********************

Steve looked up when Danny finally came back into the room a while later. Of all the things Steve had seen in the past day, the look on Danny's face at that moment was the one that would haunt him forever.

Danny's eyes were huge in his pale tear streaked face. They were full of misery, despair, and a bunch of things Steve couldn't even put a name to.

He stood up immediately and pulled his friend into a hug. He didn't know what else to do. He had no idea how to comfort his friend. How do you comfort someone who just lost so much? He'd been on the receiving end of that news, and he knew that no words would make the pain go away.

"My mom was screaming," Danny whispered into his shoulder. "I never heard her make that sound before... I should be used to this... Telling people their loved one is gone... I've done it enough times haven't I?"

"This is different Danno," Steve said, rubbing his back.

"I know..." Danny replied. He was silent for a while before he eventually pulled back and looked up at him. "It's my fault."

"Danny..." Steve started to say.

"I let him go Steve..." Danny cut him off. "I let him go and they killed him."

"You never could have known what would happen Danny," Steve said. "Matt made his own choices and that's on him. You loved him and you did what you thought was best. He would have hated you if you put him in prison. You gave him another chance."

"Look where it landed him," Danny replied. "If I hadn't let him go, maybe he'd still be alive."

"Don't second guess everything you did Danny," Steve said seriously. "They could have found him in jail just as easily. What happened was terrible and I'm so sorry Danny, but it was NOT your fault. Not any more than what happened to Freddy or to my dad was my fault. I've been where you are and I know how it feels. Not long ago when I was having a tough time, we had this exact conversation with the roles reversed and what did you say to me?"

Danny just shrugged.

"What did you say to me Danny?" Steve persisted.

"I called you a goof..." Danny finally said. "I told you that there was no possible way in any universe that what happened back then was your fault."

"Exactly," Steve replied. "And this? This is not on you Danny. No one is going to blame you for trying your hardest to save someone you loved. It's not your fault. Do you hear me?"

Danny was silent for a while before he finally nodded. "I don't think I can do this Steve," he said.

"You're the strongest person I know Danny Williams," Steve told him. "You're going to get through this. And you'll be there for Grace, your mom and dad, and your sisters. Because that's the kind of person you are."

"I can't..." Danny repeated.

"You can," Steve replied. "You know why? Because I'm going to be right here for you. So are Grace, Chin, Kono, Lou and Amber. Hell even Max, Jerry and Kamekona have your back. You're not alone Danny."

Danny finally nodded after more silence. Steve was starting to hate quiet Danny, something he definitely never thought he'd say.

"I need to go to Jersey for a while," he said.

"I think maybe I should come with you," Steve replied.

"No... I uh.. I appreciate it Steve really I do. But I need to do this on my own. For Matt," Danny told him.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked. He wasn't so sure himself. What if Danny needed him? He felt a strong need to be there for Danny like Danny always was for him.

Danny nodded. "Me and Grace will fly out on the flight Kono booked us..." He said. "I need to call Amber and tell her what's going on... And you need to hold down the fort here anyway superSEAL."

"I expect a phone call at least once every day Danny," Steve said. "No matter what time it is. I meant what I said. I'm here for you always. If it gets to be too much, or if you feel like you're struggling, you call me. I can be on the next flight out."

Tears filled Danny's eyes again. He had just lost his little brother, but he realized that he had another brother in Steve, and he knew that he could depend on him for anything. He didn't hesitate when Steve pulled him in for yet another hug. He'd never gotten so many hugs in his life.

He cried for the brother he would never see again. He cried for his parents, for his sisters, and for his daughter, who would never see her uncle again. But most of all, he cried for himself.

*******************************H50************************

When Grace and Danny were leaving for Jersey it was pretty low key. Danny had already said his goodbyes to Amber, Chin, Kono and Lou the day before. He'd also stopped by Max to make sure his brother was ready to be transported. Every last detail was taken care of, but he still didn't feel ready to go.

Steve had driven to them to the airport of course, even though he'd had to fight Amber and Rachel for that privilege. He waited with them until the last call to board.

"Take care of your dad for me will you Gracie?" He said, hugging her tightly.

"I promise Uncle Steve," she replied.

"That's my girl," he told her with a smile.

Steve turned to Danny. "Call me. Every day Daniel," he said. "Remember, whatever you need, whenever you need it, I'm there."

Danny nodded. "Thanks Steve. I'm not sure when we'll be back... But no longer than a few weeks."

"Take all the time you need partner," Steve assured him. "And say the word, I'll fly down there."

Danny smiled, but there was still something missing there. He pulled Steve in for a hug. "I love you, you goof. Don't break the island while I'm gone," he said.

"I love you too partner," Steve replied. "But I can't promise that."

Danny laughed and took Grace's hand. They walked toward the gate and waved one more time before disappearing into the tunnel.

Steve sighed. Danny was trying to put on a brave face, but he could tell just how off he was. It was all in the eyes. He knew Danny hadn't slept or eaten much in days, no matter how hard he tried to take care of his stubborn partner. He just hoped that being with his family would help.

Steve stood there and watched until the plane took off, feeling helpless and desperately wishing he could be there for his partner when he needed him most.

*****************************H50********************

And there it is... Sorry for the depression! You shoulda seen me when that episode ended :/

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!

Cheers :)