Author's Note: So I know some of you have been wondering what's been taking me so damn long with my updates for my other fic, this monster here is the answer! Me and Maja (alfiejones) are co-writing this and I cannot express how excited we are about it! Enjoy! [Update: Page breaks added, hates the way I usually do them apparently and they never transfer, apologies!]

Lovino looked around the slowly emptying lobby of the bank. There were only about twenty or thirty people left in the place. He looked over at his brother who stood, waiting, by the door and gave him a nod. He received a nod in return, and spun around, pulling the gun he had hidden under his suit jacket out and shooting two shots at the ceiling.

"Everyone on the ground, now!" Naturally, a friendly security guard had a gun trained on him. He turned and faced the guard, a cocky grin plastered across his face. He pointed his pistol at the nearest civilian. "Drop it bastard."

As expected, the guard immediately complied. He moved forward and quickly scooped up the guard's dropped weapon, pointing it at one of the tellers.

"You. I want four bags fully loaded with cash, and make it quick. My friend here will go with you, to keep you company." He nodded to Antonio, who had been lurking near the wall. "Shoot her if she's not going fast enough." He called, tossing him the security guard's gun.

The two disappeared into the back, and not a moment later, sirens began wail. Lovino locked eyes with Feliciano and cursed under his breathe. The cops had been good lately. Too good. He looked up to the clock on the wall. They had five minutes. Tops.

He walked slowly back toward his brother, watching his hostages carefully, making sure they knew that if they made a move, they were dead. He slid his free hand into his pocket and pulled out his car keys.

"Go start the car. We'll be out soon. If the cops show up, go. Got it?"

Feliciano hesitated, as if he was going to argue, but seemed to think better of it and nodded, taking the keys and disappearing outside.

The sirens were getting louder. Lovino glanced at the clock again. Three minutes. His heart pounded heavily in his chest.

Relief washed over him as Antonio reappeared from the back, carrying four bags. He tossed one to Lovino.

"Let's go, asshole the cops are on their way!" He shouted, turning and racing out the door, Antonio at his heels.

They tossed to bags into the car that waited for them at the curb and jumped in as police cars appeared around the corner.

"Go, Feli, go, go, go!" Lovino yelled. They were all thrown backwards as Feli slammed on the gas and they took off, the three laughing as they sped away from the cops. All they had to do now was lose them, which was no difficult task, as they had learned many times before.

XxXxX

"Shit!" Arthur cursed, kicking over a teller's stool. "Fuck! Not again! Damnit!"

They had arrived too late, just barely. The back door was still swinging by the time the he and his partner had pushed shoved their way through the glass doors, fingers on the trigger. The Von Bock bank was the third bank this month to suffer a robbery, and certainly the wealthiest so far.

"Calm down, Artie." His partner said. But Arthur could see the frustration on his face and the way he pressed his lips into a tight line.

"God damnit, Alfred. This is the third time we've lost them. I bet its the fucking Vargas brothers." He growled.

"Dude, I get it, trust me. But freaking out isn't gonna help us find clues. Besides, you're scaring the witnesses."

That was true. Arthur looked down to see a startled young woman on the ground, staring at his loaded gun stunned.

"Right," He cleared his throat and crouched to the woman's level. "Excuse me, madam. Kirkland and Jones, private eyes. We were wondering if you could answer a few-"

The woman backed away from him quickly, manicured fingers curling up in apprehension.

"Ah, yeah, maybe let me take this one. You can record, Arthur." Alfred said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "So ma'am, what exactly did you see?"

"I- there were three of them. One was...very handsome. He was tall, and he had green eyes and brown hair. Two of them looked very similar, and-"

"Italian?" Arthur asked, eyes glinting.

"Y-yes. I think thats what their accents were. The leader, he was the only one who spoke."

"It was them, Alfred." He said to the younger detective, who looked up at him with still skeptical blue eyes.

"We can't go off a hunch without proof, Artie." Arthur rolled his eyes at Alfred's constant nickname for him. "Can you give us any signature characteristics? Did anything stand out?"

The woman thought for a minute, before answering.

"The two that looked alike. They both had this crazy piece of hair that stuck out."

"That's them, Alfred!" Arthur hissed victoriously, scribbling it down in his notebook. "It has to be."

"I think you're right." Alfred said, standing back up and straightening his hat. "Well, thank you Miss-"

"Brooks. Jane Brooks."

"Miss Brooks, you've been a real help." She blushed when he fixed her with his megawatt smile before turning back to Arthur.

"There you go again. Always trying to pick up dates at a crime scene." Arthur rolled his eyes, trying not to seem as annoyed as he felt.

"I am not!" Alfred gaped. "We needed to record her name! Why did you think I was flirting?"

"You gave her the look!"

"What look?" Alfred tilted his head at Arthur, which wasn't the look but it was another one of the looks.

"N-nevermind. We have to investigate anyways." Arthur stuttered and turned away, hoping to hide the flush that colored his cheeks.

"Ah the boring work. You can take the lead here, A." Alfred sighed and followed his companion through the marble arch that led to the vault.

Alfred Jones and Arthur Kirkland were the perfect team. Alfred the "people person", witnesses and suspects opened right up to him. Even when they weren't working the case, Detective Inspector Beilschmidt would call him in for questioning captured criminals.

Arthur, on the other hand, was the last word in finding the cold hard facts. Once he tracked down a murderer using only the gunpowder residue left behind and a footprint.

Beyond that, the two were best friends who balanced each other out. There were no better private eyes in all of New York, the reason why Ludwig Beilschmidt, hired them to assist with tracking down the mob terrorizing the city.

"Right," Arthur called out as they entered the vault, locking eyes with the terrified manager. "how exactly did they take the money?"

"Well, you see..." He trailed off fiddling with his glasses. "They asked."

"Let me get this straight." Arthur said quietly, pacing a circle around the traumatized Estonian man. "You are one of the top banks in the nation. You have a full staff of armed guards at all times. It's a business day. And you're telling me that three men singlehandedly took fifty thousand dollars and left, because they asked?"

His voice rose steadily as he spoke, until he was shouting at the bank manager, and Alfred winced, shaking his head.

"What my associate means to say is, why didn't you stop them?" Alfred said, smoothly taking over.

"Well, we were...frightened. They were threatening us."

"Alright, I can't imagine getting any more information here. Alfred?"

"Yeah, let's bounce." Alfred said, the two of them turning on their heels and striding out the gilded doors of the crime scene.

"Arthur, baby, we gotta work on your people skills." Alfred said, walking across the crowded city street.

"I have plenty of people skills, Jones. And don't call me baby." Arthur spat defensively, heart fluttering. It wasn't really unusual for Alfred to dump every pet name available on Arthur, but it still brought a sinking feeling to his stomach.

"Well, you may have them. But they sure are rusty." He smirked, opening the door to their car and sliding in the driver's side. "But I have a proposition."

"Well, let's hear it then. And unlock my door, tosser!" Arthur cursed, standing on the sidewalk.

"So," Alfred began, opening the passenger door for Arthur to sit. "I propose we go out tonight. Loosen you up a little bit! Have some fun!"

"I suppose that it's not exactly legal, is it?"

"Aw, come on doll face! Since when were you such a wet blanket? I happen to know you're as big of a fan of some giggle juice as much as the next guy." Alfred batted his eyes under his glasses as he revved the engine.

"Since we started on a highly publicized investigation that could turn very nasty if we got arrested." He sniffed, looking out at the window at the tall buildings whizzing by.

"Come on, Artie! No one cares! Trust me, Mattie's a journalist and the stuff that they hear and don't print goes far beyond a night out!"

Arthur hesitated for a moment. Things could turn out extremely bad if they got caught, and considering they were tracking a mob infamous for booze smuggling, damn hypocritical. But on the other hand, it had been so long since he'd gone out, and Alfred was so excited about him going...

"Alright fine." He sighed, cracking a smile at the enthusiasm on his friend's face.

"Hot dog! This is going to be great! We'll grab some dinner while we're out then we can go to Magnifique"

"Wait, Magnifique? Francis Bonnefoy's bar? No way. No way in hell." Arthur protested.

"Why not! It's the best place in town! I know you hate Francis but come on baby!"

Once again, Arthur gave in, weak to Alfred's pet names.

That was the only splinter in their perfect team. The only reason Arthur feared their whole partnership would collapse upon itself.

He was in love with Alfred, and Alfred must never know.

XxXxX

Lovino tossed the bags onto the table and sauntered into the kitchen.

"How about we toast to a job well done?" He asked, reappearing holding up a bottle of gin and glasses for each of them.

"But fratello!" Feli gasped in mock horror, "That's illegal!"

Lovino paused, going along with his brother's act.

"Oh no, Feli, you're right! We can't have this! We might get caught!"

The two burst out laughing as they sat down at the table.

"You are too cute." Antonio chuckled, spinning his chair around and straddling it, crossing his arms over the top of the backrest and resting his head there.

"We're the most wanted men in New York City." Lovino stated as he poured a generous amount of gin into each of the glasses, "We are not cute."

"Whatever you say, sheba." Antonio responded, taking his glass with a wink. Lovino blushed and took a swig of his drink.

"So. How much money have we got here?"

"Think it's somewhere around fifty thousand dollars." Antonio replied, a smug grin spreading across his lips.

"Hm. Not bad." Lovino said, draping his arm across the back of his chair. "Guess we should call Gil, give him his cut?"

"I'll go call him!" Feliciano offered, springing up from his seat and exiting the room.

"So, do I get a reward for getting you all this money?" Antonio asked slyly.

"Well considering you almost got us caught," Lovino smirked, "I don't think I owe you anything."

"Aww, Lovi~" Antonio pouted, taking Lovino's hand.

"Hey, be faster next time and maybe you'll get something, bastard." Lovino chided, stand up and pressing a soft kiss to the top of Antonio's head.

Feliciano came back into the room, assuring them that Gilbert would be there soon enough, so they all relaxed for the time being. Feliciano and Lovino started a game of darts while Antonio lounged on the couch calling out challenges for them to complete. Blindfolded, over the shoulder, under the leg, spin around ten times then throw, he never seemed to run out of ideas. And it didn't help that they were all steadily getting drunk.

"Kay, Lovi." Antonio said, "This time, throw two darts. One regular, one under the leg."

"That's impossible!" Feliciano giggled.

"I could do it!" Lovino boasted, pulling the darts off the board and going back to the throw line.

"At the same time?" Antonio asked.

"Watch." Lovino eyed the target carefully. He practiced the motion, readying his left hand for a normal throw and his right for under the leg. After repeating the motion a couple times, he attempted the throw. The dart thrown normally hit just outside the bullseye. The other, however, went astray. So far astray, in fact, that it almost hit Francis dead in the face as he stuck his head into the room.

"Mon dieu! What are you doing?!"

Antonio and Feli burst out laughing while Lovino pouted.

"Could have done it if I was more sober!" He grumbled.

"Oh, pull yourselves together." Francis scolded, picking up their suit jackets which had been carelessly tossed into a pile next to the table. "You're good friends the detectives are here. You might want to go upstairs until they leave."

"Ah, buying more of our alcohol? If only they knew they were the Vargas brothers' biggest benefactor." Lovino smirked, plopping down onto the couch next to Antonio. Francis sighed.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure I could imagine their faces if they knew their favorite bar was also the residence of their most wanted criminals. But I would prefer not to actually see it. So shoo." He pushed Feli in the direction of the stairs then pulled Antonio and Lovi up from the couch and handed them their jackets.

"Fine," Antonio sighed. "We'll just go count our bags and bags of cash."

"Si," Lovino nodded "We'll go divide up the money. Don't worry, we'll set some aside for you four-flusher."

"Go chase yourself!" Francis said exasperatedly.

"Oh, send Gil up when he gets here!" Antonio called as followed Lovino up the stairs.

After about ten more minutes of waiting around, Gilbert finally showed up.

"Sorry, Luddy wouldn't stop asking me where I was going, and I was afraid he was gonna try to tail me, so I had to drive in circles a while to make sure he wasn't. But I heard you guys scored big." He said grinning at the mound of cash that laid on the ground.

"Sure did!" Antonio said.

"Are those detectives still downstairs, Gil?" Feli asked. Gilbert laughed.

"They are! Francis said they've only been here a few minutes? But they're both already looking drunk, they were blushing like crazy when I went by 'em."

"If we all know they're head over heels for each other, you'd think one of them would have figured it out by now!" Lovino scoffed.