A/N: So, as expected, last night's episode was a tear jerker. Vega's death was one thing but that last line, seriously? What the hell happened to figuring things out and telling her he couldn't imagine waking up and not seeing her? Like some others, I'm pretty peeved with Jane right about now. I can understand his perspective but it doesn't mean I have to like it. And his solution to run away, it makes no sense to me. Anyway, before I get worked up any further here's my tag for the episode. As you can probably guess from this note it doesn't sympathise with Jane's POV too much but I've tried to as much as I can. I might add on another chapter where Jane and Lisbon discuss things further as this one is centred on Jane and Abbott.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist, the wonderful Bruno Heller does.

Running Scared

Chapter 1 - Running Away

'I need you to look into what happens if I leave the FBI.'

Abbott nodded slowly and gestured for Jane to take a seat opposite him. From a brief glance he could tell Jane hadn't slept, full of nervous energy and probably too much caffeine from copious tea drinking throughout the night.

After Jane sat down he continued. 'Will I be prosecuted for McAllister?' Jane regarded his boss intensely, showing him this was no idle bluff or a way of garnering a better deal.

Abbott looked off to the side before addressing him. 'I've lost people on my teams before. A kneejerk reaction is understandable. It affects people in different ways-'

'That's not what this is about.'

Abbott's eyebrows curled upwards.

Jane brushed an invisible speck from his pants and nodded before looking back at him. 'Okay...what happened to Vega may have been the final catalyst but...this has been in my mind for a while now.' He sighed and slumped further back into the chair. 'Do I need to go back to Venezuela?'

Abbott smiled thinly. A couple of years ago he never thought he and Patrick Jane would ever be friends let alone trust each other. That Jane was being so honest in telling him he would go back on the run rather than risk prosecution was a testament to how far they'd come. From a personal standpoint it was gratifying; from a professional one it was a curse to be in Jane's inner circle.

'This is about Lisbon' Abbott finally replied.

Jane pursed his lips and shrugged. 'Will you look into it for me or do I assume the worst?'

'You think I haven't been aware of your behaviour over the last couple of weeks? You walked into a house straight into the arms of murderers the other day to stop her going in. You moved her away from the action in the Bittacker case.'

Another shrug. As good as admittance Abbott was correct in his assumptions.

Abbott sighed wearily, taking off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before putting them back on.

'Patrick, I get it-'

Jane's frustration finally gave away. 'No. You don't. You haven't lost your wife and daughter. You have no idea what that does to you. I've tried to stop her from putting herself in harm's way but she won't. She won't listen. She knows more than anyone what I went through after I lost them. But she still won't listen.'

'So your solution is to run away from her?'

'I can't watch another person I love die' he mumbled, looking at his hands clasped tightly in his lap.

'You're right. I don't understand what you went through. I can only imagine what it would do to me if I lost Lena or one of the kids. But it's her job, Jane. It's important to her.'

Jane huffed. 'Yeah, apparently more important than I am.'

It was Abbott's turn to raise his voice. 'You know damn well that's not true. I don't know any other woman on earth who would have put up with all the crap you heaped at her door through the years. You wrecked her career. Ever wonder why she ended up in Washington State and not the FBI like Cho? Because she was tainted. Because of you. Hell, I didn't even want her to come here because of the number of times she veered off what she should have done to follow one of your cockamamie plans-'

'As I recall the reason you hired me was for my cockamamie plans.' Jane bit back and then thought for a moment. Softly, 'I know what she gave up for me, Dennis. I know I manipulated her in the past. That's not what this is.'

'It isn't? Let me guess. You told her you were leaving. You asked her to come with you but if she refused you were still going anyway. Am I close? You're asking her to give up her career all over again by giving her this ultimatum, Patrick.'

'Don't you think if I believed there was another solution I would have found it by now?'

Abbott tapped his index finger on his bottom lip. 'Okay. Let me play devil's advocate and say you're right. Say she does die because of the job. How do you figure you not being here is going to change that?'

'It wouldn't but I wouldn't have to witness it.'

'Okay. So say you leave. I call you in two months time to tell you she's dead. How do you feel?'

'How the hell would you expect me to feel?'

'Precisely. Difference would be you would have had another two months together. Not to mention you'll probably torture yourself by telling yourself that you could have saved her if you had been here.'

Jane shook his head. 'I still wouldn't have had to see it for myself.'

'Okay then. Move the timeline. A year until you get the call. Move it again. Two years. Five. Twenty. Never. You willing to give up the possibility of all that time you could have because you're afraid of losing her? Jane, as you've told me many times, there are no such things as psychics. No one knows what the future holds. For all you know in twenty years time you two could be seeing your kids off to college. You willing to give that up? For what? To sit in your Airstream and be alone for the rest of your life. To close yourself off again and pretend you don't give a damn about anyone. Let her do the same.'

Jane shrugged. 'She'd find someone else.'

'She tried that, remember? Didn't take.'

'Only because I stopped her.'

'You really telling me you regret that?'

Jane thought for a long moment. She could be in D.C. right now probably planning her wedding to another man. A pang of jealousy hit him. He really was a selfish bastard. 'No, of course I don't regret it. But I didn't anticipate things changing as much as they have. How much her doing her job would affect me now things are different between us.'

Abbott chuckled. 'Welcome to the life of being a partner to a FBI Agent. You know, when I was a field agent Lena and I would have the same discussions. I'd come home and know she couldn't sleep until I got in next to her even though she pretended she had been. I've lost count of the number of times she was afraid for my life. But the difference is that she respected my choice like I respected hers to go into politics. A relationship isn't about one-upmanship or control. It's about compromise. And accepting the person for who they are.'

'I do accept her for who she is. What I'm asking her to do is for her to realise that her job isn't the only thing that makes her who she is.'

'It's a pretty significant part and you've always known that. Can't you see your 'solution' isn't a solution at all? You running off is not going to stop the pain if you lose her no matter when or if that occurs. Deep down you know that already. You're just trying to mitigate the damage but we both know once you got on that plane and told her how you felt it was already too late for that.'

Jane ran his hands through his hair and leaned forward in the chair looking at his shoes. 'I can make her happy away from here. I know I can.'

'All right then. So say she goes with you. Decides to quit. How long before she gets bored lying on a beach or travelling the world?'

'I'll make sure she doesn't get bored.'

'Well I'm glad your ego is still intact' Abbott smiled.

Jane chuckled lightly, his head still bowed.

'How long until she begins to resent you for pushing her into this decision?' Abbott asked quietly.

Jane looked back up at him and shrugged. He had obviously already thought about this. 'I'm hoping she won't.'

'She will if she feels backed into a corner. Maybe not for a while but...if all you're offering her is a lifestyle where nothing changes then she soon will.'

Jane regarded his wedding ring. 'You're saying I need to offer her something tangible.'

'You don't want to offer her that?' Abbott asked softly.

He twisted the ring around his finger. 'I was a lousy husband the first time around.'

'So then you know what to do to make a better one this time.'

Jane laughed softly. Jane thought back to the wall graffiti at her old house in Chicago. A house, a husband, a child and a dog. Long before she thought of being a cop. He remembered her look of guarded excitement at viewing a family home together even if it was for a case. Lisbon didn't have carnie in her blood like he did. She wanted stability. Maybe if he offered her that instead of exotic plans for circumnavigating the globe she would meet him halfway on the work issue.

'Compromise, eh?'

'It's what marriage is all about.'

Jane smiled and nodded. 'You think she'd accept?'